The wide circular lunch table seated ten, with chairs still sticky from last period’s lunch. Two students on the opposite side pretended not to watch as I slid into the seat next to Raf. I did a final check of the cafeteria for Simon and wondered what I could possibly say to Raf that would make any sense. Guess what, Raf? I can control minds!
My fingers drummed the table top. Maybe I should let him go first. “You wanted to talk?” His tortured face only made me jumpier. “What?”
He gripped his knees. “Kira, I’m sorry.”
“Huh?” I said. “Sorry for what?”
He dropped his voice so it wouldn’t carry over the quiet rustlings of the cafeteria. “I’m sorry I tried to kiss you in the chem lab. I thought that maybe… well, I couldn’t tell. I guess you didn’t want me to.” He was biting his lip and his pain was tearing into my heart.
“Raf, it’s not that I didn’t…” His ink-pool eyes filled with hope. I traced the non-slip pattern on the table. “It’s not that I wouldn’t want you to…” This was impossible to say. He leaned closer, so I rushed to get the words out. “If things were different, I mean.”
“Different?” He tipped back, his dark eyebrows knitting a frown. “Different how?”
I looked away from Raf, and caught sight of Simon leaning against the Blue Devil mascot painted on the far wall of the cafeteria. His crossed arms and angry stare brought back his icy words. You’re not the only one with a secret.
All thoughts of telling Raf the truth flew away like birds scattering before an approaching cat. What would Simon do? I couldn’t chance finding out. I fisted my hand on the table and then flattened it, debating which lie to tell Raf. The one where I was a zero? Or the one where I read minds? The truth wasn’t an option, and the lies were all I had. I looked Raf in the eyes and told him the only truth I could. “If I was different, Raf.”
His nose wrinkled in disgust. “Is that what this is all about? Because you haven’t changed? I don’t care about that, Kira!”
His incredulous tone attracted the attention of students two tables away, and his thoughts must have been rippling through their minds as well. I kept my voice quiet, but I couldn’t help being harsh. “Well you should! I’m not like you.” His mouth hung open. I balled my fists and was tempted to pummel the truth into him. Because that was the truth and he had to know it, as much as he wanted to pretend otherwise. Instead, I ground my hands into the tops of my legs. “You’re going to go to college and meet the future Mrs. Lobos Santos and live happily ever after. And I’m not. I’m not normal like you. I’m never going to be.” The bare truth of that burned a hole through my chest and tears stung my eyes.
I tried to blink them back. Simon now stood at attention, his hands clenched at his side. Panic climbed up my back.
“You could still change, Kira,” Raf was saying. “And it doesn’t matter anyway!” A sudden urge to move gripped me. Before Simon could do something worse than glare at us, I had to get away from Raf. I rose so quickly, I stumbled across the chair.
Raf got up to stop me from leaving. He moved close, hovering over me, as if he could impress me with his height or sincerity, but all I saw were the puppet strings that Simon could cut in an instant.
Raf’s voice trembled. “You’re my best friend, Kira.”
I edged away from him. “You’ve always been my best friend, Raf.” Fear made my voice sharp. “But that’s all we can be.” The broken look on Raf’s face was more than I could stand.
I left him standing in the middle of the cafeteria.
chapter FOURTEEN
I tore through the cafeteria door and blindly stumbled down the hallway.
I tried not to run past the few loitering students, but my legs were so strung with tension I could have sprinted all the way home without stopping. I turned a corner, but Simon caught up to me. A sudden tug at my elbow spun me to face him.
“Well.” The glare still chiseled his features. “I understand things a little better now.”
“Understand what?” I jutted my chin out and refused to be intimidated.
“Why you’re so afraid to jack into your boyfriend’s head.”
My stomach did backflips. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Not for lack of trying.” His words were biting, his smile cruel. “But you almost killed him when you jacked him. Didn’t you?”
A tremble ran up my arms. How did he know? “You were in Raf’s head.” The accusation hung between us like a poisoned dagger.
“Of course.” He didn’t quite sneer, but it felt like a slap anyway.
I stifled my anger. He was in Raf’s head. From across the cafeteria. No one read minds that far. “You didn’t… did you jack him?” My mind rewound over Raf’s words. It didn’t make sense for Simon to force Raf to say those things.
“No.” Simon’s dark look was back. “I was waiting for you to do it.”
My shoulders sagged and the fight drained out of me. “I couldn’t.”
The hardness on his face dissolved, and he heaved a heavy sigh. “You’re not like him, Kira. You’re never going to be like him. We’re different. Eventually you’ll have to jack into his head and control him like everyone else. That’s who we are.”
I clamped my eyes shut. What good were crazy mind powers when they forced me to control or lie to the people I loved?
Simon touched my cheek. “I know it’s tough,” he said. “But you need to accept it.” His fingers were warm under my chin. “You’re a mindjacker and that’s not going to change. Jacking is what you’re meant to do.”
I drew in a deep breath. I could feel the rightness of Simon’s words, even if it twisted my insides. All those years of wishing hadn’t changed me into a reader. And Raf would never change into a jacker either. We were stuck with who we were.
Students trickled out of the cafeteria and headed for class. They had normal lives and bright futures like Raf. Simple problems like who to date and how to pass their classes.
I will never be like them. My breath leaked out as I contemplated jacking all of them. Every day.
Simon glanced down the hall. “It’s time for class. Promise me you’ll try. With everyone.”
I hesitated. The last time in math class hadn’t exactly ended well. “What about Taylor?”
“If she starts thinking trash about you again, I’ll knock her out myself.”
I gave a short laugh. “All right. I’ll try.”
“That’s my girl.” He beamed a smile that seemed to lift me. We walked to class, and Simon lingered close this time. We took seats in the back of class, and I knew what he expected.
Mr. Barkley stood at the board in his starched, white shirt. I crept into his mind, just enough to hear his thoughts. Linking in, was what Simon had called it. Mr. Barkley’s mind scent was like crisp apples on a fall day, and his whispering voice in my ear bud spoke a perfect echo of his thoughts.
I always knew he was treating me right.
I wasn’t sure what to do next. You can hear my thoughts, I told him. I’m saying hello. I made the command soft, closer to a suggestion. Mr. Barkley gazed across the rows of chairs and searched for my face. When he found it, I smiled. Good afternoon, Mr. Barkley.
His eyes flew wide and he almost spoke aloud. Then a smile lit his face and filled his thoughts. Good afternoon, Ms. Moore. He continued the lesson without the whispering commentary. I slipped the hearing aid out and stuffed it in my pocket.
I had more important things to do today than review tangents. I slowly linked into every mind in the class, first the ones nearby, then the rest, but still avoiding Taylor. I linked a mild echo of Mr. Barkley, so that each student believed they heard my thoughts. No longer a mental blank spot, I was part of the chorus of background voices that filled the classroom with mental noise.
It became clear why the silence that made my skin itch was so essential. The cacophony of voices was almost too much to bear. Any audible sound would have been a cymbal crashing on top of the discordant symp
hony reverberating in my head. How much had I missed, how much life had passed me by while I was an unknowing zero?
I garnered a few brief stares. A thought wave rippled through the class, pulsing my name as everyone became aware that I had changed. They think I’m a reader. A rush thrilled my body, a high that made me float in my seat.
I had become visible.
Simon smiled his approval, but then tipped his head toward Taylor. She peered around the other students to find the source of the chatter. I drew in a deep breath and linked into her mind. She thought I was some strange enigma. If she only had any idea. I nudged her mind to let her hear the whisper of my mind’s presence.
I thought you were… she thought.
I changed.
Thoughts of Raf and me flitted through her brain. Then she started mentally humming a song. This earned her frowns and irritated thoughts from her neighbors, who were closer to her and heard it louder. I shot a quizzical look at Simon.
He whispered, “She can’t keep you out if you jack all the way in.”
I had no desire to go deeper into Taylor’s mind. I shook my head, and he just shrugged.
Mr. Barkley finally noticed Taylor’s humming. Without turning around, he had a thought that riveted the class. Is there a problem, Ms. Sampson?
She immediately stopped the noise. No, sir.
Mr. Barkley’s lecture echoed in every mind, but stray thoughts flitted by as well. Random ideas about lunch or homework, and a surprising number of fantasies like Taylor’s, starring the thinker’s most recent crush. Everyone’s thoughts were open to me, with the exception of Simon. His linked thoughts echoed in the other minds, but they were simple repeats of Mr. Barkley.
The mind scents of the class blended like a wild country potpourri.
I spent the rest of class pretending to take notes, while trying to juggle a classroom full of minds. When the bell finally rang, my body ached from the tension of maintaining the illusion that I was a reader. I stretched out the kinks as we gathered our backpacks.
Simon walked me out into the hallway. I withdrew from the minds of the math students as they drifted away into the swarm of people. Simon stopped and tugged me to the side. My eyes flew wide that he would touch me openly. He dropped his hand.
“That was perfect.” He moved toward me, eyes intense, and walked me two steps back to the lockers. “Time to come out and play, Kira.”
I started to ask him what he meant, but his hands were on my cheeks, and he crashed his lips onto mine. My entire body stilled, every sense focused on the contact between us. I wondered if this was how Raf’s lips would have felt if our near-kiss in the chem lab hadn’t ended in catastrophe. I dropped the backpack that had been dangling off one arm as Simon welded my body to the cold, riveted lockers. When he pulled back, I was amazed that one kiss could make it so difficult to breathe.
I knew nothing about first kisses—they belonged with boyfriends and college in the category of things I wouldn’t have as long as I was a zero. But Simon’s kiss made my face burn, and that didn’t seem right.
I sucked in a ragged breath. The hall had gone still, everyone facing us.
“They’re staring,” I whispered. My lips were still singed from our blatant display.
“That’s because I told them you were a changeling,” he whispered back.
“You did what?” As I spoke, the students turned away in unison, as if suddenly moving on cue. Which must be exactly what Simon told them to do. The normal ebb and flow in the hall resumed as though it had never stopped. I sputtered, not knowing what to say, or even what to think. The crowd thinned as students hurried to their final period of the day.
“Welcome to real life, Kira,” Simon said. “Come on, I have some friends for you to meet.”
chapter FIFTEEN
A storm of emotions raged through me, like a changeling being driven demens.
Anger that Simon had outed me as a changeling. Humiliation that he had wantonly kissed me in public. A feeling I didn’t want to name had my body still on fire from that kiss.
Simon led me by the hand toward the bleachers. A few students clustered at the top, the supposed friends he wanted me to meet, but everyone else was in class.
I settled on indignant outrage. “You had no right to do that!” I yanked my hand out of his and stopped in my tracks.
He threw me a playful look. “Worked well, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Heat radiated from the gravelly surface of the parking lot, but that wasn’t what burned my ears. He could at least admit he shouldn’t have broadcast my supposed change to the entire school, much less kissed me in front of everyone.
“I mean, you can’t come out as a changeling one person at a time, or even a class at a time. If you really were a changeling, everyone would know, Kira.” His patronizing tone made my fists curl. For the second time today, I was tempted to physically strike a large, stupid boy looming over me. Instead, I turned on my heel and strode back to the school building. That he was right only fueled the raging storm inside me.
“Kira, wait!” He was quickly by my side, but I wasn’t slowing down. “I’m sorry?”
“You had no right.” I kept my eyes trained on the back door. Simon tugged at my elbow, and I faced him with clenched fists.
“You’re right, I didn’t,” he said. “But it was the only way. If you’d jacked thirty kids, and no one else, someone would get suspicious. Like your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” The fire inside me blazed anew, having to say those words again.
“So you keep saying.”
I glared at him and then the door, debating my options. I could leave him here in the parking lot, show him what little I thought of him and his stupid comments. But I would have to face the other students inside, and word would have spread like wildfire about my status. Or I could go with Simon and meet his friends. Whoever they were.
Or I could go home and crawl under the covers and never come out.
Simon brushed away a strand of hair that was whipping around my face in the heated breeze. “I’m kind of hoping you mean it.”
I leaned away from his touch. “Mean what?”
“That he’s not your boyfriend.” He stepped closer. “I was hoping that position was open.”
My mouth flopped open but nothing came out, like a fish out of water and drowning in air. Simon smiled, and he seemed to enjoy making me flustered. Before I could muster a scathing retort, he said, “Don’t worry about that now.” He bit his lip in a way that made me want to both kiss him and smack that grin off his face. “Will you come meet my crew?”
I glanced at the students hanging out at the top of the risers.
“No thanks.” I spun and marched away from his waiting friends. My anger slowly seeped out with every hot-soled step across the pavement, but the embarrassment was still hot in my cheeks. I weaved in between faculty cars and headed for the front of school.
Simon caught up to me near a teacher’s sporty black hydro car. “Kira, wait.”
I stopped to give him a withering look.
He held up his hands. “At least let me give you a ride home.”
I stared, uncomprehending for a second, then my eyes flew wide. “That belongs to you?”
He stepped closer to the car and gave me a sheepish smile when it beeped the unlock tone. I didn’t know any students that drove to school, much less had their own car. My family shared the hydro car, but my dad would laugh himself silly if I asked to drive it to school.
I circled slowly around the car. “Is your family made of money?”
He gave a short laugh. “No.”
He held the passenger side door open, beckoning me. I decided that giving me a ride home was the least Simon could do. I climbed into the low seat, which shifted to hug me in a soft embrace. A frosty wind from the vents blasted away the hot outside air, and Simon ran around to slide into the driver’s seat.
“How can you afford this?” I aske
d.
He shrugged. “I got a great deal.”
I pictured Simon jacking a dealer to sell him this luxury car for a pittance. Simon nudged the joystick, and his too-fast car spun out of the parking lot like a silent black cat.
An empty feeling hollowed out my chest.
I gave Simon directions, and he parked his suspiciously expensive sports car in front of my house. The second floor windows were dimmed against the afternoon light. The drive had me home early, so my mom shouldn’t expect me yet. I hoped like crazy she wouldn’t decide to clean the windows today.
“Give me your phone,” Simon said. I hesitated, then fished it out of my backpack and traded with him. His phone was shiny black, with a mindware interface image floating above the surface. I stared at it while he fussed with mine.
He looked up. “It’s got mindware. Just jack in and program your number.” My eyebrows hiked high on my forehead. I could jack into mindware? I reached forward and a sour metallic taste tinged the back of my tongue, but the holographic matrix display hovering above the phone shifted with my mental touch. I quickly navigated the software and entered my number.
My smile snuck out as we exchanged phones again.
“I’ll scrit you later?” He seemed to be asking permission. I gave him a shrug, not wanting him to think I’d entirely forgiven him yet.
Simon’s outrageous, and probably felonious, car sped away before I reached the front door. I expected to find my mom in the kitchen, but it was empty, so I snagged a banana off the counter and headed to my room.
I had the banana half peeled and was about to take a bite when I swung into my room and stopped short. Mom stood next to my shelves and whirled around when she heard me. My bed was neatly made, which was different than the way I left it, and the sweet stench of furniture polish lingered in the air. My track trophies from junior high were glossier than before, and the flotilla of tiny souvenir sailboats from my dad’s overseas travels had a new shine. I couldn’t imagine what she could find snooping in my room, but I scowled at her anyway.
What Tomorrow May Bring Page 8
