“And what are you doing about that, man, besides acting like an asshole and pushing her away?” Kyle scoffs.
“I’m ... I ... don’t know. It’s been a long time since I felt this way. I’m scared. I was excited. Now I’m just scared.” I lean my elbows on the table and bury my head in my hands.
“You’re a fucking pussy!” Kyle spits out.
I jerk my head up and hold my hands open. “Dude!”
It’s all I’ve got. I am a pussy. Fuck—what’s wrong with me?
“You’re going to lose her, Mitch! I’m talking to you as your friend now. You are going to lose her!” He straightens up the folders. “I don’t know what happened with your wife.”
“She died,” I say, cutting him off.
“Shit.” His tone becomes remorseful. “I’m sorry, Mitch. When? How?”
“Twenty years ago. She was hit by a drunk driver. She was pregnant. I lost her and Isabella that day.” I take in a shaky breath. I’ve never told this to another soul. No one, outside of the people in my life at the time, knows.
“Christ,” Kyle says under his breath.
“Kelly was the love of my life. No one held a candle to her. No one ever occupied my thoughts, my heart, like she did,” I continue, feeling as if a floodgate has opened. I don’t think I could stop now if I tried.
“Until Charlotte.” Kyle half smiles.
“Until Charlotte,” I agree. “I didn’t realize it until that day you told me I was ‘done.’ It was then that I also realized I had forgotten to remember Kelly. The guilt hit me so hard—I couldn’t breathe.”
“Guilt?” His brows snap together. “Guilt for what? I didn’t know Kelly, but if she loved you as much as you loved her, I doubt she’d want you to be miserable and alone for the rest of your life. Which do you think she’d prefer—for you to have one-night stands, or to go home to somebody who loves you as much as she did? Someone worthy of your love in return.”
“You don’t understand. I was supposed to be with her that night. I worked late.” I stand up and head over to the window, our last conversation playing in my head.
“Hey, Mama, I’m leaving now.”
“Oh, good! I’ll have Mom pack up dessert and I’ll meet you at home. Wink wink.” She giggled.
“Again, sweetie? You’re gonna kill me!” I laughed.
“He’s twitching, isn’t he?”
“You have no idea.” I shifted in my chair.
“Oh, I think I do. Don’t worry, baby. I’ll massage that right out for you.” I could hear her smile.
“Mmm ... and how’s my other girl?”
“Kicking like crazy. She’s going to be a Rockette, I tell ya!”
“She can be whatever she wants to be. Kelly?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for letting me hold your hand at the ice-skating rink.”
“Thanks for telling me I was cute like Debbie Gibson.”
“I knew right then.”
“Knew what?”
“That one day, I may not marry Debbie Gibson, but I was definitely going to marry Kelly Foster.”
“And since Debbie was able to shake your love, I thankfully have not.”
“You never will, Mama. I love you so much, Kelly.”
“I love you, Mitch, with every breath I take. Until my dying day—I love you.”
“See you soon, honey.”
“Bye, babe.”
Little did we know—that was her dying day. Thinking back on the conversation is almost eerie.
“Mitch. Mitch!”
I snap back and look at Kyle. “Sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make that douchebag drink and drive.” He walks over to me. “Man, you’ve lived with this a long time. Maybe Kelly sent Charlotte in your direction.”
“Kelly would’ve loved Charlotte.” I smirk. They’re a lot alike.
“Mitch, you suffered long enough. It’s okay for you to be happy again, and have that happiness with Charlotte.” He pats my back.
“Yeah, I guess. I just ... I need time.”
“Don’t take long, Mitch. A woman like Charlotte may not wait around.” He heads back to collect the folders off of the table.
“Oh, she’ll wait,” I say, secretly thanking God there’s a contract. “But I will make sure to slowly remind her again of my intentions.”
“What are your intentions?” He grabs his jacket.
“To make her mine—permanently.” I turn and pick up my coat as well. “Kyle, we’re going to bust our asses in Germany and try to get this trip shortened significantly.” I open the door.
“Are you telling me we’re not rock stars, Mitch?” Kyle stops and raises his brows at me.
“This tour is ending sooner than planned. Hopefully refunds will not be necessary.” I chuckle.
“Good. Let’s start brainstorming over dinner—I’m starved.” He heads out.
“Me too—I’m fiending for a burger.”
“Mitch?” He hits the button to the elevator.
“What?”
“I fucking hate that you’re the best date I’ve had in years.”
“Uh ... thanks?” I laugh.
“Don’t back out of this!” He shakes his head and pushes past me onto the elevator.
“I won’t.” I follow him.
I get off the phone with my doctor’s office and immediately call Ava.
“My appointment is canceled,” is how I greet her when she picks up.
Ava gasps and lets out a sob. “Are you sure, Charley? And Mitch doesn’t mind?”
“I’m positive. Mitch left it to me to decide. Besides, Ava,” I say through my own tears, “ever since that conjured-up day we supposedly swapped spit, I knew I wanted to have your baby.”
“I love you, you crazy bitch!” Ava screeches, though I can hear both laughter and tears in her voice. “You are an angel. I ... we could never thank you enough.”
“Stop.” I sigh. “What’s the next step after the birth control is out of my system?”
“I will call and make an appointment with my IVF doctor. They’ll do a vaginal ultrasound, physical, and Pap smear, unless you’ve just had one. Then there’s the hysteroscopy to check your uterine wall. They’ll go over the medical instruction of the IVF cycle, injections, medication use, and embryo transfer, then all the other stuff. It’s basically everything we’ve done, except our bun’s going in your oven,” she says, then finally pauses to take a breath.
“I’m sorry you know so much about this.” I choke on my tears. Ava and Trent could write a book and perform all of these procedures by themselves ... with their eyes closed.
“Charley, we’re so blessed to have an incredible friend like you.” She starts crying again.
“I will throat-punch you if you don’t make me godmother!” I change the subject—sort of.
“No throat punch required.” She laughs.
“The girls will be pissy,” I warn.
“The girls aren’t lending me their vag like you are!”
“Ava?”
“Yes?”
“We both seem to have a problem saying things that don’t come out quite right, don’t we?” I giggle.
“Eh—yep!” She laughs.
“You make me feel like a dirty whore, Ava,” I add.
“You’re welcome! Oh, hey ... my next client is here for her foil. See you at yoga tonight?” she asks.
“Yep. I’ll bring my vag with me.”
“I love your vag, Charley,” she says with a hint of dreaminess.
I’m speechless.
“Too far?” she asks after a beat.
“Just a smidge over that there line that shouldn’t be crossed.”
“Well, I don’t care. I’m gonna leap over it. I love you, Charley, and I love your vag! I don’t think I will ever see a vag more beautiful than yours the day my kid’s pushing through it! I gotta go!” she adds quickly.
“Me too—to vomit—so thanks for that!” I say, feeling my ey
es widen even though she can’t see me. We hang up. I decide to text Mitch.
Two things!
1. I’ve made the decision without you.
2. Wilson hasn’t fixed the account yet, nor have you.
There’s a shitload of money in there you need to put somewhere else.
I have an idea!
Put it in your new girlfriend’s account!
Or ...
You can shove it up your ass!
I put my phone down. I don’t know why I bother. It’s not like—oh shit. I pick it back up.
1. It better not piss me off!
2. There’s nothing to fix. It’s accurate, so start doing stuff with it.
You are my new girlfriend.
And ...
I can think of something I’d love to shove up your ass. ;-p
I sit and stare at his text for—Christ, I don’t know how long. This one text has me speechless for so many reasons. First, he texted me! Second, he’s acting like my Mitch. Third, I have almost five hundred thousand dollars in my account. Fourth—
How’s Kitty?
Fourth, what the fuck?!
I Skyped with Brogan last night.
I apologized.
I’ll Skype with you tonight after the kids go to bed.
9:30 okay?
Wear something sexy.
Definitely wear your invisible edible panties.
*Smacks lips*
My favorite.
Fifth, no, really, what the fuck?!
I know you’re staring at the fucking phone, Charlotte!
Answer me!
I look around. How does he know?
My phone rings.
I hit ignore.
My phone rings.
Goddamn it—ignore!
Do not embarrass me!
Huh?
“Here, Charlotte.” Pauline walks into the kitchen and hands me her phone. “It’s Mitch. He couldn’t get through to you on your phone. You may have to get it checked.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks.” I take the phone and slowly bring it up to my ear as she walks back out to the living room.
I breathe deeply. “What?”
“Charlotte, you have ten seconds to come up with a better greeting than that!” he snaps.
“Fuck you!”
“Well there, see, now that sounds promising.” He chuckles. I’m not laughing.
“You know what I’ve realized over the past few weeks, Mitchell?” I choke back my tears. Damn it—I will not fall apart!
“You’re calling me by my full name, baby? Sounds like you need to have an orgasm or two to rectify that situation.” He tries to reel me in again.
I ignore his comment. “You’re no better than he is.”
“If you’re talking about Josh, you better take that fucking shit back right now!” he yells.
“Or what?” I challenge him.
“Don’t fucking test me, baby ... don’t do it!” I think he’s trying to calm down, but yelling through teeth is just as loud.
“What are you going to do, Mitch—break my heart? Well, sit back and relax, ‘cause you’ve already done that. More like crushed it to smithereens.” And now ... I cry. Damn it!
“Oh, baby, no ...” he trails off.
“Bye, Mitchell,” I gasp between sobs.
“Stop! Don’t hang up!” he pleads. “I’m coming home two weeks from this Thursday. Be at my house, please.” He sounds so calm now.
“Okay,” I agree, knowing it’s the only way to get him off the phone so I can have a proper cry.
“Charlotte?” he breathes.
“What?” I’m barely audible.
“I ... I never meant to hurt you. I haven’t been thinking clearly. I just ... I have a lot to tell you when I come home. I asked you to have patience with me before I left.” He lets out an exhausted sigh. “I didn’t realize the depths of that request until today. I have a lot to work through, Charlotte. I want to work through it with you by my side.” I cover my mouth as a sob escapes my throat. “Baby ... I’m so sorry,” he says, an ache in his voice.
“I have to go now.” I wipe my tears and try to pull myself together.
“Baby?”
“Mitch ... I have a lot to think about.”
“Two weeks then?”
“Yeah.”
“I miss you, baby.”
“Bye, Mitch.”
“Charlotte?” My name sounds like a plea.
I hang up.
I pick up my phone and dial my go-to girl for all matters of the mind.
“Hey!” Maddie says quickly.
“Maddie, you’ve got to fit me in today. I will pay you. I need to talk,” I say hysterically. Luckily, Maddie is fluent in hysterical.
“I have a slot in one hour. Everything is going to be okay. I gotta go.” And with that she hangs up.
I sit back and take to deep breathing. My phone pings.
You are my favorite smell.
I close my eyes and think about the way he sniffs me. Oh, how I miss that sniffer of his sniffing around ...
I push myself up from the table and take Pauline’s phone with me. I find her folding towels and hand it back to her.
“Thanks, Charlotte.” She grabs it from me.
“Pauline, you don’t have to do that.” I try to take the basket from her.
“Nonsense.” She shoos me away.
“So, Bennett doesn’t have therapy until one o’clock. Do you mind if I run some errands?”
“Go. We’ll be fine.”
“Thanks!” I half smile before grabbing my keys.
“You okay, baby girl?” She gives me a suspicious once-over.
“Uh ... well ... I will be,” I say. “Be back in a couple of hours. Call if you need anything.” I wave my phone. She nods and I head out.
I plop in the chair across from my best friend, who seems to be losing the battle with her bangs as she continuously blows them out of her eyes.
“Spill it,” she says, then sips the coffee I brought her.
“I will, but you have to promise you won’t utter a word of this to the other girls.” I know I don’t have to say this, but I do anyway. Maddie has been good about secrets since the day I met her in middle school. If you tell her not to say anything, she will go to her grave with it. Good Lord, I don’t know how she keeps it all organized in that brilliant mind of hers. Never—not once—has she slipped up! The look she’s giving me right now is a simple reminder of that fact.
“Okay, here goes nothing.” Slowly, I begin to explain what’s been going on the past few weeks. Mitch’s avoidance of me. Him declaring us “over” to his grandmother. The new knowledge of the wife he had—and lost—that he never told me about, and how he still doesn’t know that I know. Bingo and my confrontation. His renewed interest and efforts. I tell her about everything except, well, you know.
“Break up with him,” she says.
“I can’t.” I blow out a big puff of air.
“Why?” she asks flippantly. “You don’t need another Josh!”
Because I signed a contract. Of course I can’t say so aloud, though.
“Because I ... I’ve fallen for him, and I know he feels the same way about me. I know he feels a lot of guilt over his wife. I’m the first woman he’s developed feelings for since she died almost twenty years ago. So, I know where it’s coming from. Does that make it hurt any less? No. But I really need help trying to work through this with him, Maddie. I ... I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Josh was a joke. My feelings were crap compared to how I feel about Mitch. I need help knowing how to act around him. I’m so pissed. I can’t control myself, even though I know what he’s going through.” I attack her tissue box and blow my nose.
“Actually—that’s good. Charley, you are reacting just how you should. He’s using his wife’s death as a crutch.” She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Maddie!” I gasp.
“Let me finish, please.” Sh
e holds up a hand. “He’s been using his wife’s death as an excuse to push everyone—as well as his feelings for them—away. Then you happened, and he forgot to push until something triggered him. A thought, a memory, who knows? And he pulled his crutch back out because he got scared. Gram knows her shit! She did the right thing. Twenty years is a long time to use the same crutch. Seeing you reminded him, or maybe made him realize that he doesn’t need it anymore.” She takes another sip. I join.
“Charley, he needs to be held accountable for his actions. If you baby him, it tells him his behavior is excusable. You essentially give him a new crutch, and that wouldn’t be good for either of you. No—he needs to own how he’s behaved. He needs to deal with your anger and disappointment. He needs to be able to figure out how to rectify the situation. In the long run, you will be helping him find closure and move on with his life in a healthier way than he has.” She chugs her coffee now.
“Your secret is safe with me, Maddie.” I smile at her.
Her smile hits her eyes and she laughs. “Eh—it’s no secret that I’m the brains behind this operation.”
“I love you, Captain. Thank you.” I get up and hug her, ignoring her eye roll at my nickname.
“I’m glad I’m able to help. I like him a lot, Charley. I especially like how happy he makes you—well, you know, before he became a pussy.”
“Stop!” I smack her arm.
“Well, I have my next client. I’ll send you my bill.” She nudges me with her hip.
“Hey, is today ‘Viking’ day?” I raise my brows.
“Nope—tomorrow at three.”
“Smile at him,” I say in encouragement.
“Actually ... I did.”
“And?”
“He asked me why I was carrying so many books at once.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, I had several huge psyche books I was borrowing from a colleague. I was going to leave them at the front desk, except I dropped them all before I got there. So ... he jumped up and helped me.” She blows her bangs out of her eyes.
“So he speaks?” I raise my eyebrows.
Under Contract (The GEG Series) Page 16
