by Faye Byrd
She kisses me real quick and jumps up before I done even know what happened. “Hey!” I yell in an attempt to get her naked ass back in my hands.
But it’s no use; she’s already pulling on that hoity-toity dress. “Sorry, Outlaw, but like ya said, if we gone do this, we need a get goin’.”
I huff like a petulant child, but all the while I know she’s right. As much as I’m a dreading it, the day’s fading away and we need some answers. We gone have to see if we well-known ‘round these parts.
I jump up and stalk my way to her, getting so close our skin brushes together. “We got to do this, Cowgirl, and we gone have to do it now. But know this, when we come back with you safe and sound, I’m gone strip ya right back naked and have ya the rest of the night.”
Her brow lifts, and she moves even closer; we front to front now, her clothed and me naked. “I expect nothin’ less, Outlaw.” Her lips push against mine, but she pulls back so fast I barely even realize I been kissed. “Now, put some clothes on ‘fore I lose my last bit of self-control.” She turns and busies herself with the horses, leaving me to get dressed.
Not much later, we headed toward the town we done picked to be our—well, Josie’s—first foray into the public since we started this journey. “Ya know, Outlaw, this is just a first for us. If we ain’t known here, we gone still have check out a bigger city ‘cause that’s where we’d be more likely to be known.”
I nod and glance at her, nudging Arrow closer to Star. “I know, but this is the scary one ‘cause I know it’s best if I let ya go in alone. If we ain’t known here, then I can at least go into the next one with ya.”
“True,” she responds. “But just ‘cause we ain’t known here don’t mean the bigger one won’t have our posters in they post office.”
I sigh. “This is just some tricky business. Scopin’ out the territory to see if we got a chance of settlin’ ‘round here. If we get spotted, our whole trip north is blown.”
“It is,” she agrees with a nod. “We could just keep goin’. We don’t have to stop in Idaho Territory at all, the Montana Territory sounds just as good to me.”
My eyes snap to hers. “Are ya sure?”
She shrugs. “Why not?”
“Well, we been arguin’ about you goin’ into town alone for the last three days. Ya could a suggested this anytime while that was happenin’,” I say incredulously.
She pulls on Star’s reins, bringing her to a sudden halt, so, of course, I stop beside her. “I was arguin’ the point more than anythin’. I am capable of goin’ into that town by my lonesome and scopin’ to see if they heard of us,” she says, the bite evident by the tone of her voice and the stiffness of her shoulders. “But, I don’t mind if we keep movin’. The longer we wait, the farther we go, the better odds are that we won’t be known.”
“So that settles it then? We gone keep on goin’?” I ask softly. I’m gone just shut my mouth and follow her lead here. She is capable, and I know it, but I can’t stop myself from worrying. My life just ain’t worth living if I didn’t have her beside me.
She ponders for a minute or so ‘fore she finally answers me. “Yeah, we gone keep goin’.”
I can’t help it, I sigh in relief, but then I smile at my cowgirl, and it’s a conniving smile. A smile that reaches my eyes as they scan over her body, picturing exactly what she’s gone look like when I strip her out that dress and punish her for making me worry in the first place.
“Ya can’t be lookin’ at me like that, Outlaw,” she says, but she don’t mean it, not at all. I can already see her pert buds as they tighten under the top of her dress.
I run my tongue back and forth over my bottom lip, the fantasies already playing out in my mind. Her splayed out before me as I push her to the brink ‘fore I pull back without letting her fall. Her spark of indignation when she realizes what I done did, but also her acceptance ‘cause I’m already building her up again.
“Oh, God,” she moans, her eyes already searching for somewhere we can tether the horses. I can tell the moment she gets an idea ‘cause her eyes stop scanning and her hands tighten ‘round the reins. “Follow me,” she breathes, and of course, I am, I always will.
Two more weeks and we in the same spot as before, ‘cept this time we in the Montana Territory, a couple hours out of Helena. First up, a tiny town just to test the waters.
Just like last time, we done agreed that Josie will don her hoity-toity dress and make her way to the local post office, looking for any signs of a wanted poster for either of us. I’m gone hide out of sight and keep as close an eye on her as possible.
This time, I ride with her on Star ‘til we get where the town is visible, and then she pulls us to a stop. I jump down and am about to walk off ‘til she grabs my hand. “Outlaw, I’m gone be okay.”
I give her a soft smile and a gentle squeeze to her hand. “I know ya are, Cowgirl.”
She gasps lightly, but then her lips curve up high. “Damn right I am. And if anybody messes with me, my outlaw will drop ‘em where they stand.”
“He sure will,” I agree, giving her one last squeeze and moving off to the side to watch as she starts her approach.
My eyes scope the whole scene, bouncing to every little movement. A woman walking down the street, a man sitting outside reading a paper, a dog barking somewhere in the distance. I’m in tune with it all, looking for any sign that my cowgirl ain’t safe.
People give her glances as she moseys by, but other than that, they ain’t paying her much attention. But why would they? She fits right in with 'em dressed as she is. ‘Cept maybe ‘cause she’s alone, but even that ain’t seeming to matter.
She tethers Star to a pole and casually makes her way to the post office, not a care in the world it seems. The letter to our family back home is held tightly in her right hand. Of course, it’s from Andrew and Jennie Cole, the last name chosen from my ma’s maiden name.
Once she’s inside, I breathe a little easier. I can see the door clearly and long as no one sketchy enters, everything’s gone be okay. But then, I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more. So long I’m almost ready to charge in there and demand to know what’s taking so long.
Just as I start moving forward, the door swings open. First out is Josie, and just the sight of her safe and sound makes my heart pick up pace.
But then, what I see next makes it still in my chest and my blood run cold.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Post Office
JOSIE
I leave Nathan at the edge of town and nudge Star forward, right down the center of Main Street. Nobody seems to pay me much mind as I make my way toward my destination. So far, there ain’t no sign of any wanted posters at all, for anybody, much less Nathan and me.
Guiding Star to a nearby post, I dismount and tether her ‘fore making my way to the barely there building they call a post office. It sits ‘bout three-quarters of the way down the main street and ain’t much bigger than an outhouse from the looks of it.
Taking a glance around and seeing everybody done gone back to they business, I hold my chin high and start for the door, trying to look as proper as possible. When I get there, I take a deep breath ‘fore grabbing the handle and tugging.
A little bell dings as I enter, but I don’t see a soul in sight. I shrug my shoulders and move toward the tiny desk area in the corner. A noise from behind me catches my attention, and I turn ‘round just in time to see a woman scurrying from the back, straightening her hair and dress top as she walks.
My brows rise, wondering what has her in such a tizzy. I change directions and head toward the counter, clearing my throat just as she shoots her eyes to mine. “Howdy,” I say, giving her an innocent smile. “I have a letter I was hopin’ to buy a stamp for.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” she responds, already reaching to get me one. “Here you are, dear, that’ll be two cents.”
I grab a couple pennies from my pouch and retrieve the stamp. “I’m just gone go ov
er here and address it, and I’ll be right back,” I say, motioning to the desk in the corner.
“Take ya time, dear.” She smiles, and I nod and turn away, hearing another thump coming from the back.
Paying it no mind, I head over to the desk and scan my eyes, looking for any wanted posters but I’m still unable to find any. Figuring there’s none around here, I place the stamp on my envelope and turn back to approach the lady.
Just as I do, though, someone else moves into the picture, coming from the back where the lady appeared from earlier. My breath catches in my throat, but I immediately swallow down the fear and continue moving forward.
Plastering a smile on my face, I approach the counter again. “Here ya go, ma’am.” I hand over the letter and avoid looking at the man, even though I can clearly see his form in my periphery.
As I go to turn around, though, one strangled word stops me cold. “Josie.”
I freeze in my spot, my whole body stiffening in response. But not my mind. It starts a whirling in a million different directions. My first thought is of the Colt strapped to my thigh, but then the second is, how? How does this man know my name? And why did he say it so … heart-brokenly?
Deciding I ain’t got no choice but to turn ‘round and get these answers, I spin and make direct eye contact with him for the first time. Recognition flares almost instantly, and as my eyes rove over him, old, faded images start flashing through my mind.
A quiet gasp escapes my lips as I pass over the shiny little star that’s pinned to his chest. My eyes snap right back to his, tension in every muscle of my body.
I tilt my chin up. “My name is Josephine.”
He stares at me for so long I almost turn and leave him standing there, but right as my patience is about to snap, he opens his mouth. “I know.” That’s it, that’s all he says, but even that is too much. His tone is so reverent, I almost still want to run, even though this is a moment I never thought I’d have in my life.
But I’m having it, ‘cause I know, I already know why he knows.
He takes a step toward me, real slow like, as if he’s afraid I’m gone disappear before his very eyes. His hand is outstretched like he wishes he could reach out and grab me.
And I’m torn. ‘Cause all I can think of is Nathan and our life. I’m not sure whether I should even let this man get close to me or if I should turn and get out of here as fast as possible.
Just as I make a decision, he steps extra fast and grabs my shoulder. “Please, Josie. Don’t run. I’m no threat to you.”
My brows furrow. “Why would ya say somethin’ like that?” I snatch my shoulder from his grasp and cross my arms. “Why would you be a threat to me?” I act offended that he would even assume I have reason to be afraid of the law.
His eyes widen, but then they skirt to the lady behind the counter, who’s watching our every move with curiosity, before they settle back on me. “Oh, uh, no reason.” Then he turns fully to the woman. “Ida, could ya come ‘round here, please. There’s someone I’d like ya to meet.”
My eyes widen just a bit, but I watch as she smiles and joins him standing in front of me. “Josie, this here is Ida Dodson, she’s my lady friend.” My brows rise, but I don’t say anything as that explains so much. “Ida, this is Josie, and she’s uh, she’s my daughter.”
Both me and Ida gasp as the words leave his lips. Even though I knew it, hearing it aloud, him admitting it, is almost too much for me.
Tears prick the corners of my eyes. “How do you know that?” My voice cracks a little, ‘cause it’s been a long, long time, and hearing him say it makes it real.
His posture softens, and he moves closer, gripping my shoulder in his strong hand. “Josie, you my daughter, course I know ya.”
“But it’s been so long,” I say, my voice softer than it’s ever been, the incredulity of the situation weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
He closes his eyes for a second ‘fore opening ‘em and looking at me. There’s pain in his green irises so like mine, and his graying red mustache is turned down at the corners. “I’d like to be able to say that just layin’ eyes on ya was enough, but I can’t.” His jaw tightens, and I have to wonder what he means, what’s bringing him so much turmoil.
“I ain’t sure I understand what ya mean,” I tell him, my mind spinning.
But his next words, they clear up everything. They bring my heart to a crashing halt and kick in my flight instinct. “Where’s Nathan?”
I snatch away from his touch with force, and this time, I have no intention of stopping. Our cover is blown, and there’s no way we can settle up north now. Moving as fast as I can in this stupid dress, I start for the door. But he don’t let me go. He grips me again, snatching me ‘round to face him.
“Stop it!” he demands, giving me a little shake. “I just got ya back, ain’t no way ya leavin’ me so fast.”
My heart’s a thundering in my chest, and I close my eyes and pray. I pray he ain’t gone make me kill him. “Ya left me no choice.”
“No, Josie,” he says, and his voice is pleading with me to understand, I just ain’t sure what. “I ain’t no threat to ya. To neither of ya.”
When I left for the West, there was always the dream in my mind that I’d find my pa, and we’d reunite one day. Never, ever, did I expect it to be now, here, like this. Just when me and my outlaw done decided to give up our criminal ways, it all comes crashing down, and it’s due to none other than George Brady.
And while I’d love more than anything to believe what he’s a saying, there’s no way I can risk it. I can’t put Nathan’s freedom on the line just for a chance to get to know him. It’s black and white, right and wrong, and we on opposite sides of that coin.
I’m an outlaw, and he’s the law.
Ain’t no way that can work.
My shoulders slump in defeat as my choice rings clear in my mind. “I can’t risk it.”
He becomes almost desperate as he grips me, his fingers digging in deeper. “Yes, yes ya can. I swear it on my life. I don’t mean ya no harm.”
His pleading reaches somewhere deep inside, telling me the things I wish could be true, but they can’t, I know they can’t. Tears spring to my eyes and roll down my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Pa. My whole life I dreamed of this moment, wished it would happen, but now that it’s here, I’m gone have to walk away. You gone have to let me walk away.”
“I-I c-can’t, baby girl. I can’t let ya go,” he says, and his tears match my own. In a move so desperate, he leans in and closes his arms ‘round me, pulling me so tight against him, I ain’t got no choice but to feel it.
And I do, I feel it to my very soul. The warmth and comfort surround me in a way that ain’t happened in so long. A parental love fuses through me, and I want to sigh into it, embrace it and bathe in it, but I can’t. I can’t risk Nathan for anything, even a life with my pa.
I start shaking my head and push him away; tears are a streaming good now. I can’t remember the last time I felt so vulnerable, so wide open. “I can’t do this. I have to go. Findin’ ya’s been a dream of mine, but not now, not like this.” My voice starts with a plea, but as I talk, it grows stronger.
By the time I’ve disentangled myself from his embrace, I’m surer than ever. “This can’t happen.”
“No, Josie, please. Just talk to me, hear me out. You and ya fellow. And if ya still want to go, then so be it, but please, give me a chance.” His voice is cracking, and the tears are streaming.
He’s wearing me down, making me want to believe I can have this, I can have ‘em both. But I wouldn’t dare to hope. Even if I could trust him, could Nathan? Would he really be ready to take a chance like this? Even for me?
Ida discreetly wipes her own tears and moves closer, laying her hand on my arm. “Josie, honey, I don’t know what’s goin’ on here exactly, but I can vouch for ya pa. He’s the best, most trustworthy man I know. And if he says you got nothin’ to worry ‘bout from him, then ya got nothin’ to
worry ‘bout.”
I’m torn in two, afraid to hope and just as afraid to try. But this is it, my one chance to catch up with my pa and I got to take it. Making a swift and maybe foolish decision, I finally nod. “Okay, let’s talk.”
His eyes snap to mine, and they so filled with hope that I can’t help but think I done the right thing. “Thank God,” he breathes.
I hold up my hand. “But not here. Let’s go somewhere more private.” Then I glance to Ida. “Thank ya for your encouragement, and I don’t mean to be rude, but this here’s a public place. Anyone could walk through those doors any minute.”
She smiles and nods. “Of course, honey. I’ll be hopin’ to see ya again.” She reaches in and hugs me, and I’m shocked by her affection but find myself embracing her back.
All too soon, she’s pulling away and moving back to her counter, leaving me standing, staring at my pa. “Okay, then. Shall we?” I ask, motioning to the door.
He nods and moves ahead of me, pulling the door open for me to exit first.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The Decision
NATHAN
My Colt’s done been drawed ‘fore I even register the movement. My Josie, my beautiful, strong cowgirl is being followed out the post office by the local lawman. And what’s more, she turned to head in the opposite direction. I’m tempted to send a bullet directly to his head this very second.
But I don’t.
I get ahold of myself and stop and think. This is Josie, she knows what she’s doing. She’d never let this man get her in this situation if she wasn’t sure of her ability to get out. And maybe he don’t even know who he’s fooling with, maybe he’s just part of the welcoming committee.
My jaw still clenches, my fingers tightening on my Colt. She ain’t even bothered a glance in my direction, so I wait. I sit here and watch where they go before I run off half-cocked. And of course, it’s to the tiny sheriff’s station.
