This song is not for you.
The golden pipes sound
Flat fifths on alien scales
Around the all-consuming sun.
A black sun.
Their notes are not for you.
He is pleased.
His writhing, festering pleasure
Strikes a ten-dimensional cord.
He consumes himself,
Excretes himself.
Weaves space, weaves time.
A star. Galaxies. Light.
These endless forms are not for you.
DAL NIENTE
The pitch shifts.
The dance pauses,
And in the rests between
That awful melody,
In the emptiness,
In the void,
In the inhalation before the note,
you.
On dust, you stand
And laugh, and sing
And lust, and cry,
And slay and rut.
And build your cities,
And fight your wars,
And gaze longingly into the void.
A great, sordid emptiness
In the song that is not for you.
The screaming ant
Clamps a morsel,
Dragging it home along
A hormone leash.
Your blood burns.
The sun is warm.
The sky blue and cool.
You know with a vengeance that
I am I.
Yet, this song is not for you.
PERDENDOSI...
A voice in the centre,
The very centre,
Away and down,
Deep, deep down,
Infinitely far away.
The black sun answers the trilling pipes.
The pipes fall silent.
The strings relax.
The terrible dance winds down.
Galaxies rip.
Stars fade.
The eve of atoms has come.
Quivering in entropic ecstasy,
The song is done.
...AL NIENTE
You follow in the wind,
wherever the played note goes,
a node on a silent string.
None of it was for you.
TLOQUE NAHUAQUE
By Nelly Geraldine García-Rosas
Nelly Geraldine García-Rosas is a Mexican writer and a freelance copy editor. Her stories have been published in independent magazines and anthologies. Some years ago, she struggled with the decision to become a writer instead of a physicist; she has no regrets, but she loves to read, write and discuss about physics, cosmology, astronomy, and weird science. She can be found online at: www.nellygeraldine.com.
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
—Carl Sagan
I—The Particle Accelerator
THEY BUILT AN underground temple. A well of Babel sinking into the gloomy ground at 175 metres of depth. They wanted, like the Biblical architects, to know the unknowable, to discover the origin, reproduce Creation.
The desire to unravel the nature of the Everything floated permanently in the controlled environment of the laboratory. Hundreds of fans and machines emitted a constant buzzing, which the investigators called the “silence of the abyss”. This, combined with the smell of burnt iron, gave the ominous sensation of finding oneself in space. Doctor Migdal lay upon a nest made of coloured cables and, with eyes closed, fantasised that his body, weightless, floated, pushed by the breeze of the ventilation.
Sometimes, he would imagine that he was being attracted by a very narrow tube, a cafeteria straw, the ink container of a pen, or a bleeding artery. His feet, near the edge of the conduit, would feel a titanic weight that would pull him and make him push through the small space. Migdal could see how he would turn into a thick strand of subatomic particles that would extend forever.
Most of the time, he saw himself arriving slowly at the union of the circular tunnel that formed the particle accelerator. Before the accelerator, Migdal was tiny. The machinery attracted him softly, although with such an acceleration that he lost no time in approaching the speed of light. He knew that, the faster he travelled through space, the slower he would through time, so that, if he looked forward, he could see the rays of particles that preceded him—sent during the morning, the previous day, or the month before—and if he looked behind, he could see what would come—tomorrow, the next day, or the next month. As he advanced into the confines of the accelerator, the scientist felt eternal, for he was capable of appreciating the complete history of that point in time and space: from the Big Bang to the most distant future.
Migdal left his daydream, trembling and sweaty. He distanced himself from the other scientists and spoke to no one about his fantasy because, each time he imagined himself floating in the particle accelerator, he knew He was there, shining, in all the instants and all the places.
II—The Dream
I dreamt I was in a penetrating darkness, without limits, without time. One could hear a sinister music of pipes, whose interpreters adored a gigantic, amorphous, inert mass in the middle of nothing, the primordial chaos. From all the confines of darkness there surged a conglomerate of iridescent bubbles and one of the terrible musicians announced the arrival of the door, the key and the guardian.
It is impossible to describe with words how He filled the space, was omnipresent, he knew everything and could see everything. With a movement that reverberated in the infinite, he gave matter to the darkness. A blinding explosion surrounded the drooling chaos.
I do not remember more.
***
They say an accident occurred in the underground laboratory where the particle accelerator is found. The say that is why we cannot connect to the Internet; that is why the electricity comes and goes. Estela, my neighbour, thinks these are government lies. “Come on, my child, how can a problem in Europe make the lights go out here in Mexico? That’s very far away. I think this is politicians trying to rob the people again. Accident, my ass!”
III—The Lord of the Near and the Nigh
“What did Migdal and the other scientists seek in their well of Babel?”
“The elemental particle of the Standard Model of particle physics.”
“...”
“...”
“They would have to reinvent the Universe.”
“They did. Well, in a way.”
“They would have to make a universe. Any universe. Make apple pie.”
***
Estela knocked on the door as though she wanted to tear it down. Her hair was uncombed; she sweated. I offered her coffee, which she swallowed in gulps as I watched in silence her trembling hands. At last, she confided in me that she had had a horrible dream: Monsters with the heads of snakes walked towards the house of Doña Iluminada, her friend; they played flutes that looked like phalluses, but moved like the tentacles of a squid.
I tried to calm her down. I told her that it was just a dream, that she need not worry, that we were all uneasy, due to the electrical failures and the telephone grid, which was now inaccessible. But Estela interrupted me and said, “No, my child, it’s not that. It’s just that, this morning, I went to visit my friend, Iluminada, since there’s no phone. When I was about to turn the corner at Donceles and República de Argentina, I heard a music that gave me goosebumps and I remembered the dream. I approached slowly, to see where it came from, but the ones playing were not monsters, no. They were my friend, Jacinto, and his children. Imagine: My godson walked as if possessed, as if he could see something that was not there. I ran to my friend’s house to see what was happening and I found her very calm, making tamales. She told me they were for the Tloque Nahuaque, because he supposedly came to our world, thanks to the scientists in Europe that had found his nature. She also told me other insanities, like, she wanted to go to the pyramid of the Templo Mayor to adore the spheres of the beginning, or something
weird like that. How can I not be afraid? She is my friend and she is going insane, my child. Who will look after my godson if Jacinto is also wrong in the head?”
Doña Iluminada had lived for more than thirty years just a few metres from Templo Mayor in the centre of the city, but she had never visited it; Estela assures me that her friend had not heard of the experiments made inside the particle accelerator until there was talk of an accident, and that this might have caused the electricity and communication problems. Nevertheless, she prepared tamales and thanked the subterranean discoveries, for she believed that what had happened in Europe was not a tragedy but a wonderful encounter with what had been long sought after.
***
“One time, I asked Migdal if there existed the possibility that, following the theory of the multiverse, we were always in a branch where the Higgs does not exist. He asked me to take out my gun and find out.
“Migdal did not believe that the probabilities would ramify to create many worlds. He would say particles exist in all their possible states at the same time, but that, when we interacted with them, they would be forced to choose one possibility, the one we would finally observe.
“What would happen if one particle would not respond to either of the two theories? What would happen if it would exist in all its possible states and, like this, we observed it? What if, also, it multiplied to be in infinite universes?
“You’d have to make apple pie.”
***
Estela explained to me that Tloque Nahuaque, the Lord of the Near and the Nigh, had been to the Aztecs the Master of the Near and the Far, for they believed he is near all things and all things are near him. They had given him many names and representations, such as ‘Tezcatlipoca’ or ‘Ométeotl’; however, his greatness was such that there is no single word that will contain him, for he is in everything.
IV—The Higgs Boson
Imagine the origin, the primordial chaos, the instant in which none of the primogenial particles had mass. He, who shines in all instants and in all times, manifests, touches the chosen, and provides them with mass. That is how everything begins.
Imagine your weightless flight, Migdal. Now look at the monitor and see the results of the test. You found it.
***
“The Tloque Nahuaque can also revive the dead, my friend. It’s so good that you came to help me with the tamales,” said Doña Iluminada, as Estela amassed the dough in a strange state of disturbance: The meat which would be used to prepare the dish for the god was none other than that of her godson.
“They say He demands sacrifices now that he has given us knowledge of his nature, miss. Carlos Guarda, a university teacher, came to see us and said the Higgs (He calls him like that) has shown us already how the universe began, that we should thank his wisdom. That is why we will deliver him Danielito,” Mr. Jacinto said as he played with a wooden flute and continued: “Carlos Guarda told us we should let him drop from a very high place, so he could achieve terminal velocity (God knows what that is), but the steps of the Templo Mayor are broken and the highest we have is the roof. That is why my wife thought we should make more tamales, so the Tloque Nahuaque does not get mad.”
V—The N-Sphere
The last report from Migdal was confusing. He talked about iridescent spheres and the representation of a being of four dimensions in our space of three, how it is possible to draw a sphere on paper because the tridimensional figure can be sliced to form circles. “Our tridimensional universe is immersed in a sphere of four dimensions and, at the same time, in another more complex. Until infinity,” the document reads. “That is why He can manifest in this space, but remain outside of it; be in all points and instants, touch a particle, give it mass, create and recreate the Universe.”
***
The electricity fails more and more. Slowly, I adapt to the idea that we might never again have telephone service or an Internet connection. All I know of Europe and the particle accelerator is that they lost contact with the surface and the efforts to descend are useless. The rest is speculation. I’ve learned of many suicides and violent deaths. Estela says that they are sacrifices to the Tloque Nahuaque, as they call him in Mexico City, but that, in every town, he has a different name. “There is no word that can contain him, my child. He, inside and outside the world, sees everything and knows everything. It is impossible to distance oneself.”
Somebody bakes apple pie.
DOLLY IN THE WINDOW
By Robyn Seale
Robyn Seale was born in 19-diggity-7, at a time when the nation briefly outlawed the 8. After short periods called “childhood” and “college”, she created a Lovecraftian webcomic, and illustrated a number of print comics. She lives somewhere in the Midwest, where she hopes Dagon will be summoned on a flood plain to help explain the number of bait/tackle-shop-and-restaurant combo businesses.
HEY. NEW GIRL. Im Joelle. Welcome to the Nabrinious official Orphan Asylum Fer Girls. Lemme be the first to welcome ya. As you can see here, youll be bunkin in this gurgeous, six-by-eight room with me, your lovely host. Whats yer name?
Annabelle? Good name. You an offworlder?
Yeah, i can always tell. Yer bones are soft. S okay. Itll make this arm easier to break. Yer what, six? Seven?
Ghaaaaaaad. Dont whine like that. I aint gonna do it now. Gotta get some other girls up here. S a hard job, yanno? Generally, we get this girl, Carolina? Yeah. Shes built like a tank, that girl. Has a hard job gettin through the ducts, but does all right.
Well have to cut yer hair, too. Shame, really. S so pretty. My hair was like that once, yanno? Not all gross and mouse-brown and braided up. Youll have to learn to do it close to yer scalp, so’s it doesnt get caught by accident in the fans n stuff.
Ghaaaaaad. Shuddup. Yer jus like Mary, all puffed up about yer hair. Itll grow back. The tooth weve gotta knock out wont, though. Which side are you partial to chewin on? Left or right?
Left is the L side if you make it with yer thumb. Hold up both your hands n’ make Ls out of ‘em. The one what looks like it ain’t backwards is your left. Like loser
Stop yer cryin. Wont hurt but a minute.
Pshsshshshshs. You think yer the first one Miz Bensons told that to? Think agin, buttbreath. You know where youll end up? Not offworld, livin the posh life. Youll get adopted by the Dollmakers, all right. Then youll regret it.
Did I knock some teeth out? Naw, I don come from good stock, yanno? Mdad wholloped mosta my pearly whites out fore he kicked the bucket.
You dont believe me? Well, you dunno about Mary.
Mary was like you, some snot-nosed fancy brat that comes in here all snooty, like this colony was too good fer her. Bit older, though. Had differ’nt hair.
Miz Benson told her the same thing. She didnt listen to us. You see all these girls in here? Notta licka us pretty or all dolled up. Were the smart ones an keep ourselves useful, cleanin up these air ducts.
It aint a nice job, sure. Sure, we gotta few teeth missin and some bad skin. But were here, yanno?
Now, you know the Dollmakers an how theyre so proud to get all their dolls unique? Howdya think they do it? Huh?
Ill tell ya.
These girls. That come in through here.
Mary didnt believe me. Went off with those creepy mouth-breathers and their fancy masks. Theyll give you somethin too. Somethin’ thatll make you sleepy fore you even leave here. Yell be givin yer goodbyes through crazy, off-matched eyes.
Then well never see ya agin, cept through the Dollmaker shop winda.
Serious! Dont look at me like that. You can see Mary down over there in that winda. The one with the red hair, nitpick. Kept her velvet dress on, too. Recycles, I guess.
Why, doncha believe me? Cross my heart, hope to die. Thats the gods lickin truth.
Hey. Ill give you more proof, if you want. Gimme a candy or two you got in yer bag, an Ill tell ya.
So...I aint told the other girls; I dont think theyd go back in the air ducts after what I saw.
Man, how olds this candy? Takin forever to chew.
Anyways, after Mary was taken up by the Dollmen, I went ahead and did my shift. She werent here but a day or so, an there aint no sympathy in Miz Bensons cold, withered mummy heart.
Anyways, here I was, doin what would be her route had she listened. And then I hear a noise.
Its this weird gurglin noise that I havent heard before. Like...like, yanno how cats get all drippy an stuff? Like they was yowlin and drippin all over each other.
So’s I went to go take a look-see. Got all up in some vent that hadnt been cleaned in a minute. I dunno whose route its on, but it werent any of ours. Someone woulda said somethin’, yanno?
Anyways, I get to followin this duct and somethin awfuls comin from it. Really horrible. I mean, I smelled poop and theres dead critters comin’ in from outside that get trapped and die, and sometimes, you find them rottin...but this rottin that you aint find nowhere.
I start peekin in some vents and I realize, Im lookin at the factory! The Dollmaker factory! You aint never seen nothin like it. Theres this big ol room, with these huge drainage vats and somethin’ right awful is livin in them. Theyre just...blobby things with faces and eyes and mouths all poppin up like bubbles boiling.
An theyre huge, like...whatcha call em...elephants! Elephants on the videoprompter. Giant blobs of gross jus rollin’ and boilin’ and yowlin’.
You aint never heard sucha sound they were makin. Jus thinking bout it gives me the willies. Thats when I realizedtheyre cryin like babies. Theyre hungry.
I know, cuz the Dollmen start roundin girls like you up. Theyre all naked as the day they came inta the world, and weird.
I mean, weird as in drugged. Not like they did anythin’ like the perv down the street does, with his huggin too long and bribin with candies. They were all sleepy-eyed, like when they leave here. An they gotta be, yanno? Im here, lookin at these things, and I nearly lose my lunch over it. Those girls are just...standin’ there. All glassy-eyed and dumb. I spotted Mary and she was all smilin like she was on a picnic or somethin.
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