by Lynne Graham
Abbey started trembling violently when she got back into the limo. She was hanging on to her composure by a slender thread. Tears were clogging her throat. The man she had loved had not returned her love. Jeffrey had lied to her and cheated on her and had played her for a fool. Their relationship had been an unpleasant charade that a more experienced woman might have questioned. Jeffrey had had no desire to sleep with Abbey while he still had Jane in his life. She remembered the day he had touched her red hair and asked her if she had ever thought of tinting it blond. Anguish exploded inside her like a grenade going off in a confined space. Guess who had blond hair? She remembered Lady Jane on her husband’s arm at Jeffrey’s funeral, long golden blond hair streaming across the shoulders of her elegant black coat, her beautiful face frozen as ice.
Abbey pressed clammy hands to her quivering cheeks. Her best friend had stood by and watched her marry a man who was besotted with another man’s wife. That awareness had ensured that Abbey had felt unable to share her innermost feelings with Caroline as she once would have done. She felt utterly betrayed. The passenger door beside her opened and only then did she realise that the journey was over and she was home.
She saw her face in her hall mirror and it scared her. Tears had smeared her eye shadow and mascara and she bore a close resemblance to a corpse in the horror film she had watched earlier. Her attention fell on the photo of her and Jeffrey on that long-ago wedding day and she snatched the frame from the wall and smashed it down on the tiled hall floor. That surge of violence shocked her to the core and she was staring down in surprise at the broken glass when the doorbell sounded.
Nikolai hammered the knocker when Abbey didn’t immediately answer the bell. Relief swept him when the door finally opened and she peered out.
‘I was worried about you,’ he confessed in a driven undertone. ‘How are you?’
‘How did you think I would be?’ Abbey demanded, animation and energy entering her again when she saw him. He might be the author of her evening of disillusionment, but at least she didn’t have to watch her words with him. ‘Happy?’
Nikolai pressed the door back and strode in, his feet crunching across broken glass. Even though the photo frame was lying face down, he recognised it and felt almost jubilant at such a demonstration of disrespect. His ambivalence towards her gnawed at him. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’
‘I’m not hurt,’ Abbey proclaimed.
But Nikolai could see the shock still etched in her dilated pupils and rigid bone structure. ‘You need a shot of vodka.’
‘No. I’m fine.’ A discordant laugh fell from her lips to punctuate the strained silence. ‘It’ll just be a long time before I play the grieving widow again!’
Nikolai reached out in a sudden movement and gathered her into his arms.
‘The bastard!’ she sobbed suddenly. ‘I really, really loved him. I thought he was the most wonderful guy in the world!’
‘He didn’t deserve your love.’
‘He didn’t want or need it!’ Abbey gasped in stricken disagreement. ‘He didn’t even really want or need me! I was just a substitute for the woman he loved and couldn’t have.’
Nikolai, who avoided emotional scenes with women like the plague, could not believe that he had got himself into such a situation. But he had found it impossible to stay away from her when he was concerned about her state of mind. Once it had entered his thoughts that she might do something foolish in her distress, he had had to seek her out and he had no intention of leaving her until he was convinced that she was all right. Right now, she was very far from being all right. She was sobbing into his chest with the abandon of a distraught child, her slim body shaking and shuddering with emotion. He smoothed her tumbled curls back from her damp brow and dug out his mobile to make a call with one hand.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m taking you home with me. I’m not leaving you here alone.’
‘I’m used to being alone,’ Abbey argued.
‘So am I. It doesn’t mean we have to like it,’ Nikolai quipped, hauling open the door again and guiding her out towards the lift.
‘I look a total mess and I am not sleeping with you again-’
‘You’re so forward,’ Nikolai breathed. ‘At least wait until you’re asked.’
She almost laughed, and then she remembered Jeffrey again and the urge evaporated, for life as she knew it was over. She no longer had the comfort and security of looking back and wrapping herself in her fond memories of Jeffrey’s love. ‘I was always second best to Jeffrey,’ she whispered. ‘According to what his sister told me, he only settled for me because Jane wouldn’t leave her husband. Everything I thought I knew about him was wrong. He even invited her to our wedding with her husband. He always talked as if he was so moral and there he was carrying on with someone else’s wife and cheating on me throughout our engagement!’
‘You’re as close to being someone else’s wife as I’ve ever got,’ Nikolai remarked wryly. ‘Stop torturing yourself. That affair and your marriage all ended a long time ago.’
‘But I believed that he loved me.’ Until that moment, Abbey had not appreciated just how good that belief had made her feel about herself. ‘That meant so much to me. I was a lanky beanpole at school-none of the boys were interested-’
‘They’d be kicking themselves if they saw you now,’ Nikolai told her, pressing her head into his shoulder in a protective move when he saw the paparazzi on the pavement outside, a sharp jerk of his head telling his bodyguards to be as aggressive as they liked in shielding them from the cameras.
‘I bet you were one of the popular ones at school,’ Abbey commented when they had got through the crush and were safe inside his limo.
Nikolai was pouring drinks from the well-stocked bar. He handed her a shot glass of perfectly chilled vodka. ‘No. My father was a crooked loan shark despised by most people. My grandfather was ashamed of him and so was I,’ he admitted, only to wonder why he was telling her something that until that moment he had not even admitted to himself. His little nasty weasel of a parent had been a chronic embarrassment to him while he was growing up.
Abbey knocked back the vodka and then almost choked as it burned a liquid passage of icy fire down her throat and brought tears to her eyes. ‘My word!’ she spluttered as he banged her between the shoulder blades so that she could breathe again.
‘Full marks for not sipping, but you didn’t even give me time to make a traditional toast.’
Abbey was still thinking about what he had said. ‘Why were you closer to your grandfather?’
‘I lived with him until he died when I was nine years old. My father wanted nothing to do with me.’
‘Why?’ Abbey fixed expectant eyes on his lean dark face, her curiosity raised to a height.
‘He was already married with three children when he got my mother pregnant. My grandfather took me in and raised me against my father’s wishes. I think my grandfather saw it as a second chance to be a father.’
‘My mother died of a heart attack a day after I was born,’ Abbey confided, accepting a refill and holding it high to say. ‘To a new and better understanding between us! My father never warmed to me after my mother died. He hadn’t the slightest interest in me or my achievements. I was surplus. My brother was important to him because he was a boy-’
‘That may be why you married an older man.’
‘Nothing’s that simple. I fell in love with Jeffrey.’
‘But now you’re going to get over that,’ Nikolai intoned with cool conviction.
Shivering in the cool night air, Abbey allowed Nikolai to assist her out of the limousine and wrap her in his dinner jacket. His unexpected gallantry made her smile while his protectiveness surprised and pleased her. ‘Thank you.’ A car screeched to a halt a few feet away, doors flying open noisily as more men with cameras leapt out. ‘Why are they still following us?’
‘Press hounds have an infallible nose for a drama.’
The two shots of vodka she had had in the car made Abbey feel rather dizzy in the lift. She knew she shouldn’t be with Nikolai. If ever there was a case of leaping from the frying pan straight into the fire, this had to be it, she conceded ruefully. But she was amazed that he wanted to be with her when she was in such a mood and she was equally keen not to be left alone with her depressing thoughts.
‘I want a tour of your apartment,’ she told him, determined to concentrate on work to protect herself from temptation. She cast his jacket down on a chair. ‘It’ll help me in my property search on your behalf.’
‘Go where you like.’ Nikolai watched her thrust off her high heels in the hall and turn in a clumsy circle that almost sent her cannoning into a sculpture. ‘Vodka packs quite a kick. You should have something to eat now.’
Pangs of memory were still attacking Abbey. She was recalling how Jeffrey had pushed her away and shrinking from the cruel reason why her approaches had been unwelcome. ‘You know, if a man doesn’t want to sleep with you, he’s either gay or he’s got another woman,’ she announced with the air of someone who had made an amazing deduction. ‘Why didn’t I get suspicious?’
Nikolai groaned out loud. ‘Stop thinking about Jeffrey-you’re with me!’
Abbey flipped round with something less than her usual grace. ‘Well, it’s not a problem you have. You never stop trying to get me into bed.’
‘You need food,’ Nikolai told her, directing her into the superb drawing room where an impressive selection of hot and cold snacks was laid out in readiness for them. He settled a plate into her hand and told her what everything was, for all the dishes were Russian. She settled for warm blini pancakes and caviar which she was determined to taste just once in her life.
‘I need another vodka,’ she announced.
‘Just this once my primary objective is not to get you flat on your back,’ Nikolai imparted softly. ‘I think you’ve had enough alcohol.’
Hot pink climbed her face as she collided with his stunning dark gaze. ‘I never had you picked as a nice guy,’ she confided, surprised by how scrupulous he was being all of a sudden.
‘I’m not, but I’m the guy who gave you that file.’
She couldn’t tell him she was grateful because every time she thought about what she had found out it was as if someone had slashed her with a knife and another whole slew of fond memories would be destroyed. Even worse were the vague memories of inconsistencies that now fitted her new awareness of Jeffrey as a deceiver, who had lied about loving her and hurt her self-image by making her feel insecure about her ability to attract him.
While she wandered aimlessly round the room admiring Nikolai’s spectacular views over London, she saw her face in a mirror and almost died with embarrassment on the spot. How on earth had she contrived to forget her messy make-up? ‘I need to clean up-I look awful!’ she exclaimed.
Nikolai directed her to the cloakroom, which was roughly the size of her whole apartment and equipped to fulfil a woman’s every need. She wiped her eyes clean and washed her hands free of crumbs before lingering to touch up her make-up, reasoning that feeling down didn’t mean she had to give up her pride in her appearance, particularly not with a male as gorgeous as Nikolai around…
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘I’ M going to take a look around the apartment now,’ Abbey informed Nikolai airily when she rejoined him.
‘It’s just a functional space, bought for a convenient location,’ Nikolai said dismissively.
Abbey looked at the home office where he worked with interest, but it was the master bedroom suite that she was truly most curious about. She whooped at first glimpse of the massive bed and could not resist taking a running jump to bounce on it. His attention welded to her every move, Nikolai came to a halt just inside the door with a wry smile on his lean, bronzed face as he watched her.
Abbey looked up at the mirror on the ceiling above the bed and winced. ‘Such a playboy cliché,’ she scolded. ‘Is that really why you worked so hard to become massively wealthy? All the beautiful women it would put within your reach?’
The faintest hint of colour scored Nikolai’s stunning cheekbones as he watched her. She was a vibrant figure in the blue dress he loved, her glorious red hair rippling round her delicate face and her violet eyes shining with amusement. ‘No, I wanted to be rich so that nobody could ever push me around again.’
Abbey couldn’t laugh at that confession. She thought about the half-brothers who had beat him up, and flinched. By the sound of it, his childhood had been very low on love and caring. It was little wonder that he had grown into a tough and ruthless adult, who believed he had no need for ties based on the more tender emotions, and who preferred to make money his most meaningful avenue of communication.
She investigated the panel of buttons on the wall and experimented, switching on and dimming the lights, opening the curtains and lifting a massive television screen and entertainment centre into view only to drop it out of sight again. She started to giggle. ‘I’m behaving like a toddler let loose on a computer keyboard, aren’t I?’
Nikolai strolled across the room. Overpowered by her giggles, Abbey was in a helpless heap on his bed. ‘This wasn’t quite how I pictured you in here,’ he acknowledged.
‘You’ll never give me vodka again,’ Abbey forecast.
Nikolai sank down on the bed beside her. She felt his presence and rolled over onto her back to gaze up at him. ‘I like looking at you,’ she told him helplessly. ‘But that’s just sex, isn’t it?’
Lean brown fingers gently smoothed the tumbled coppery curls back from her pale brow. ‘I like looking at you, too…’
There was an odd, almost wistful note in his dark, deep voice that quivered down her taut spine. She stared at him and suddenly she wanted him with a hunger that clawed at her like a physical pain. ‘Kiss me,’ she told him.
‘In Russian my answer would have to be Nyet.’
‘No?’ Abbey gasped, translating that negative in open astonishment. ‘Because of the contract we signed?’
‘Stuff the contract,’ he breathed, the pad of his forefinger tracing the tantalising pout of her full lower lip and slipping inside to probe when she opened her mouth.
In punishment for that teasing act, Abbey bit his fingertip and he withdrew it. ‘So, stop mucking around and get on the bed,’ she told him bluntly.
A reluctant smile slashed his beautiful mouth. ‘When did you become so dominant?’
‘I learnt it from you,’ Abbey fielded, breathless beneath the hard sensual heat of his appraisal and the glow of his approval, her heart beating so fast and urgently that it felt as if it were lodged in her throat. ‘It gets you what you want.’
‘When you were sober, you said you didn’t want this, lubimaya.’
The reminder was as unwelcome as the physical reluctance she sensed in him. She craved his wide sensual mouth like a drug and he was turning her down nicely, it was true, but a rejection was still a rejection and deeply wounding in the frame of mind she was in. She twisted away and pushed her mortified face into a pillow. He had taught her to believe that he found her downright irresistible and the rebuff, for whatever reasons, hurt and reminded her of Jeffrey’s lack of enthusiasm. ‘You don’t want me the way you said you did,’ she condemned tightly.
Nikolai swore in Russian below his breath. She was driving him insane. There she was on his bed, looking more seductive than any fantasy, and he couldn’t touch her because he didn’t want to be accused of having taken advantage of her in the morning. ‘You know that’s not true-’
‘Or maybe this is a revenge kick. I rejected you, so now you’re rejecting me just when I can’t cope with it!’ That final accusation emerged in a semi-wail as tears got the better of Abbey, whose desirability factor now felt at an all-time rock-bottom low.
‘How can you not know how wrong you are?’ Nikolai flipped her slim body over as if she weighed no more than a toy and glowered down at her, his tawny eyes smouldering
. He carried her hand to his groin to prove his point.
Abbey blinked in surprise at that rather graphic demonstration of male interest. Her fingers lingered on the bold outline of his erection, caressing him through the fine wool of his trousers. ‘Oh,’ she said with a wealth of feminine meaning in her voice, satisfaction flaring inside her as she acknowledged his impressive arousal.
‘You’re torturing me,’ Nikolai groaned.
‘I want to make love to you,’ Abbey confessed, leaning over him to undo his belt and run down his zip. He slid off the bed and began to peel off his clothes for her. She watched him strip, responsive heat flaring in sensitive places as his rampantly male and athletic physique emerged from his clothing. He was hugely aroused and in that instant, when his eager impatience made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world, there was nothing she would not have done for him. Although she was a little short on actual expertise, her sheer enthusiasm more than made up for it. She kissed and caressed her path across his washboard-flat stomach. His fingers slid into her hair to hold her to him. She loved touching him and she adored it when he moaned and trembled beneath her enthusiastic caresses.
‘Come here,’ he told her urgently, finally dragging her up to him to claim her luscious lips with a raw driving hunger that left her dizzy. ‘You’re living proof that fantasies can come true, milaya moya.’
Still shocked by her own audacity, Abbey had little idea of what had come over her, only that for the first time in a very long time she had felt free to be herself. ‘Don’t tell me stuff like that if you don’t mean it,’ she warned him.
Nikolai wound long fingers into her tousled tresses. ‘And don’t you change your tune when you get out of my bed again,’ he traded in steely admonition. ‘No more blowing hot and cold.’
‘Yes, boss.’ Abbey laughed as he unzipped her dress, and then a comical expression of dismay froze her lovely face.
‘What?’ Nikolai demanded.
‘I’m sleeping with a client,’ she said in horror.
‘You haven’t yet, but I’m living in a lot of hope,’ Nikolai confessed facetiously, tugging her up against him to unhook her delicate blue bra, his hands rising instantly to cup her full breasts with an earthy sound of satisfaction. He pressed his lips to the sensitive nape of her neck while his skilful fingers teased her straining pink nipples.
