by Liz Gavin
“The scans showed no internal injuries, no broken bones, and no brain injuries.”
“That’s excellent news.”
“Indeed it is. There’s a small concussion on your temple but you have nothing to worry about that, Miss Ashe.”
“Was that why I had amnesia?”
“You did? Oh, we have so much to talk about, love,” Declan said as he kissed her cheek.
“We do, baby.”
“No, Miss Ashe; but, it probably caused the loss of consciousness.”
“Why did I lose my memory, then?”
“Since the amnesia wasn’t related to a physical problem, as the tests showed, I can only assume it was caused by a psychological one. Judging from your report of events, Miss Ashe, it’s safe to say it was caused by shock.”
Keira frowned and was about to say something to the doctor when Heller interrupted her.
“You had plenty of reasons to be in shock, my dear. You saw your boyfriend being shot and thought he had died. You were kidnapped and taken to a strange place. To top it off, you had to deal with a former aggressor, who also happened to be a delusional creep, and a well-known serial rapist. You’re strong, Keira, I’ll give you that. But, you’re not a superwoman.”
“I’m not as strong as people think.”
“You’re much stronger than you think, little brat.”
“Megan!”
Keira stood up and was immediately swallowed by her parents’ and her sister’s arms, hugging her in a tight embrace. The emotional reunion of the Ashe family brought tears to Declan’s eyes. He had witnessed their distress first hand and, now, he was delighted to be able to release Keira into their welcoming arms. He sat on the bed, watching the family hugging and kissing Keira, at last. Everybody laughed, cried, and talked at the same time and he wondered how they understood each other.
Doctor Green discreetly called the detectives over to a corner of the room, “I’ll sign Miss Ashe’s release papers. She doesn’t need further treatment, but I advise you to take Mr. Slane back to the hospital in Cork, as soon as possible. He’s doing his best to put up a brave face, but I can tell he’s in severe pain. His paleness worries me, too. I understand he’s lost a lot of blood recently, which means his body is most likely still compensating for it. If he goes into shock again, he can have a heart attack or other vital organs may shut down.”
“Keeping him in the hospital might turn out to be a little difficult. He’s one stubborn fellow,” Dwyer said it with the conviction of somebody who had dealt with that stubbornness and lost.
“At any rate, it’s getting late, doctor,” Heller observed. “Driving him back to Cork tonight wouldn’t be advisable, would it? What if you kept Slane here overnight for treatment? We can arrange for his transfer back tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll see what I can do about that, detectives. Mr. Slane needs medical assistance and that’s a fact. The hospital administration can’t argue against facts.”
“Thank you, doctor.
Watching the small group together reminded Heller of why he had joined the Garda in the first place, so many years ago. Bringing hope to otherwise desperate people; reuniting loved ones; catching the bad guys. Even though he knew it was impossible not to let people down sometimes, moments like those with the Ashes made its hardships worthwhile. Seeing the relief on their faces was a huge reward for him.
On the other hand, now that he had returned Keira safely to Declan, Heller knew he would have to find courage to make amends for his role in Declan’s troubled past. He just didn’t know how to approach the man. He knew he couldn’t postpone that uncomfortable conversation for much longer. He had already done that for almost a month, since he had arrived in Keira’s hotel room after her attack. He had found himself endless convincing excuses but now he had run out of them.
But this is something I’ll worry about after he recovers completely.
Keeping Declan in the hospital in Youghal proved to be much easier than anyone had anticipated. After all, he was so glad to be with Keira again that he didn’t care where he stayed, as long as she stayed with him. The Ashes and the detectives had gone out to buy something to eat and to give the couple a little privacy, so Keira lay beside Declan, on the hospital bed, resting her cheek on his chest. He had been hooked to the monitors and IV bags again and she needed to be careful not to hurt him.
Playing with the buttons on his shirt, Keira talked without looking up at him, “I have to tell you something, baby. I don’t know how, though. I’m afraid of your reaction.”
Recognizing fear in her voice frightened Declan to his core. He could deal with most things, except the fact that Keira might be afraid of him at all. He cupped her shoulders for emphasis.
“Keira, love, look at me, please,” he waited for her to lift her gaze to his before he continued. “Whatever you think of me, I beg you, do not fear me. I can’t stand thinking you are afraid of me, love. You know I could never harm you, don’t you?”
“Oh, Declan, absolutely. I’m sorry if I gave you this impression. I know you would never harm me,” she offered him a weak smile. “I’m not afraid of you hurting me. It’s the other way around, in fact. I – I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“Why? How would you do that?”
She looked at her fingers resting on his chest as she absent-mindedly tugged at the thick hair there. She couldn’t find the right words to tell him about what had happened between her and O’Hallon in the cottage, about how she had managed to escape.
“Keira? What happened?”
She looked up and chickened out when her eyes met his dark green gaze. She didn’t want to see the hurt in them knowing she was responsible for it. She decided to change the subject.
“It’s so comforting to feel your heart beating under my hands like this,” she caressed and kissed his chest. “I thought I’d never be able to do it again.”
Unable to fight the effects of the drugs, which were beginning to take their toll, Declan closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow, clenching his hands in her hair. He tried to focus, to stay alert, but it was very hard. He hated the weakness he was feeling.
“You’re making no sense, love. It must be these painkillers. They’re making me dizzy,” he sounded groggy. “I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to waste time sleeping. We’ve spent too much time apart.”
“Hush, Declan. You need to rest.”
He lifted his head and opened his eyes but his eyelids weighed a ton each. He couldn’t keep them open, “I want to get out of this bed and get you in bed for a whole month.”
“I guess the meds are working, Declan, because you’re talking nonsense,” she stretched her neck to reach his mouth and kiss him gently. “Sleep tight, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
He didn’t answer her but his hands held her close to him when she tried to get out of bed so that he would be more comfortable. She lay her head down on his chest again, and closed her eyes, allowing the soothing sound of his heartbeats to lull her to sleep.
True to her word, Keira stuck by Declan’s side, both during the ride on the ambulance back to Cork and later at the hospital there, while he recovered from the surgeries. As soon as he was settled in his new hospital room, and while the Ashe family checked in at a nearby hotel, Declan patted a spot on the mattress beside him.
“Come sit here, love, I want to talk to you.”
When Keira sat down on the bed, he laced his fingers through hers and looked into her gorgeous blue eyes. He would gladly drown in those deep pools.
“The painkillers did a number on me yesterday but I clearly remember a conversation we were having before they kicked in,” he lifted her chin when she tried to look down. “Please, Keira, don’t avoid it. No matter how hard an issue might seem to be, it’s better to deal with it than run away from it. Don’t you trust me?”
A sharp pang of guilt cut through her chest, “Of course I trust you. That’s not an issue. That would never be an issue for me
. I – I…”, her voice broke off again and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. “Maybe I’m overreacting a bit, Declan; but, I did something very out of character for me. I loathed myself for having to do it, too. You’ve got to believe me, though, that I didn’t see a viable alternative.”
“Keira, the more you dodge the issue, the more worried I get. What did you do? I’m freaking out, here.”
Another deep breath and Keira searched his dark green eyes for any traces of anger. Finding none, only concern and love, she stopped fidgeting with the topic.
“We already knew O’Hallon was a dangerous psychopath, but over these last few days, I found out he was completely delusional. While I had the amnesia, he fabricated a complex, detailed story about me and him, as a married couple, and fed it to me. I could tell he believed his own tale. On my part, I had some flashes of memories that seemed to confirm his story to some extent. Deep down, I felt something was wrong. Also, I felt very sick and weak and slept most of the time. The good thing was that my debilitation didn’t allow him to make any advances. When I recovered my memories, I figured I would have a better chance of survival if he didn’t know I knew his story was bogus.”
“You’re a smart woman. The detectives told us that your chances were connected to your ability to live out his fantasies. Thank God you did so,” Declan smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand to reassure Keira that he was fine with what she was telling him.
“I gave him a sedative, the same one he carried around and had given to me on the day he tried to rape me. I ran away as soon as he passed out on the dinner table. It was just my usual bad luck that the cottage was so isolated that I had no idea where I should run to. I didn’t know where the nearest house was and I couldn’t see a thing. It was late at night, dark and very cold. I didn’t have a car or proper clothes.”
“You would freeze up if you tried to walk around looking for help. You didn’t try that, did you?”
“My thoughts, exactly, sweetie,” it was her turn to kiss his hand and smile. “I hatched a Plan B and went back to the house to execute it. That’s when I was forced to do something I knew I would regret because it was going to hurt your feelings.”
“Before you say another word, my love, let me just tell you something,” he held her face in his big hands, caressing her full lower lip with his thumb. “Whatever you had to do there and then, I’m glad you did it because it brought you back to me. That’s all that matters. Do you hear me, Keira Faith Ashe?”
She closed her eyes because the stormy surge of emotions at hearing his heartfelt words threatened to overpower her.
“Why do you have to be so sweet, Declan?”
He covered her lips in a quick kiss, whispering, “Go on, love.”
“Since O’Hallon thought we were a couple, I assumed I would get the information I needed from him if I played the loving wife. The tranquilizer knocked him out pretty deeply, so, I was able to take him to the bedroom and strip him down to his underwear without as much as a peep out of him. I left him there until the beginning of the afternoon. When I noticed he was regaining consciousness, I lay beside him and pretended we had slept together the previous night.”
She stopped again but this time Declan didn’t say anything. He knew she needed time to come to turns with it on her own. He just ran his thumbs over her cheeks and waited. She swallowed hard and resumed talking.
“I swear nothing happened between us, Declan. Thank God he spilled out what I needed to know right away, and I managed to tie him down and hit him with the lamp before he even kissed me,” she made another brief pause as she closed her eyes and steadied her nerves. When she opened them again, they reminded Declan of a stormy sea. “What’s killing me is that I considered the possibility that O’Hallon might have overpowered me at some point, and I went through with the plan, anyway. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought but it didn’t stop me. I hated it that he put his hands on me, that he touched me at all. I hated being so close to him, but I just couldn’t think of anything else to do. I’m so sorry, Declan. Can you forgive me?”
He hugged her tight against his broad chest, caressing her hair and back, “Hush now, Keira. I’ve got you. He can’t harm you anymore. It’s over. You’ll be all right.”
Declan’s heart skipped several beats, and felt like lead inside him, but not because of Keira’s words. He hated the fact that she had to go through such an ordeal, alone, and she still worried about his feelings. When her breathing returned to normal, he pulled her away to look into her eyes again.
“I don’t deserve you, Keira. Please, let me finish it,” he gave her his one-million-watt smile when she opened her mouth to argue with him. “You’ve overcome the direst threat you had ever had to face in your life. You did it all on your own, but still you worry about my feelings?” he kissed her open mouth and had to control himself not to deepen it until they were both out of breath. They would have plenty of time for that later. He only needed to make her understand he supported her. “I am sorry you had to go through that and I don’t give a damn about the ‘what-ifs’, Keira. The only thing that matters to me is that you are here, safe and sound, in my arms again. And don’t ask me to forgive you because there’s nothing for me to forgive. Do you understand that?”
There was such a stunning light in the green depths of his eyes that Keira would have to have been blind to mistake it for anything other than the purest love she had ever seen. She slowly smiled back at him, “Aye, aye, captain.”
“Good. Now that this is out of the way, can I go back to kissing you senseless?’
Throwing her arms around his neck, and offering her mouth to him, was all the answer she needed to give Declan. Their kiss was deep and sweet, passionate and blissful. Their mouths savored each other as their tongues caressed and teased. Their hands explored and rediscovered each other’s sensitive spots until Keira’s conscience reminded her they were in a hospital room.
Gently pushing Declan away, she cupped his cheek in her soft hand, “As much as I’d love to spend the rest of the day in bed with you, I don’t think the nurses and doctors would approve of it. I want you to get back on your feet as fast as you can. So, we’d better not risk your recovery, huh?”
Leaning back against the pillows, Declan closed his eyes but held her hand tightly when Keira tried to stand up.
“Where do you think you’re going, missy? You’re not leaving my bed that easily. I may not be able to have my way with you for now, but you’re not going anywhere.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes, pretending to be bored, and they laughed.
“It’s so good to hear your laughter again, honey,” Rick Ashe spoke behind them. He stood by the door with Keira’s mother and sister.
“I didn’t hear you coming in.”
“You were too busy, Keira,” her father smiled when she blushed. “Hmm, Mr. Slane, I have to ask you. When do you plan on making an honest woman of my little daughter?”
“Daddy!”
“It’s okay, sis. He’s teasing your boyfriend. They’ve become best buddies since Declan asked dad for your hand a couple of days ago. Mom is also hooked by his charms. She’s even started planning the wedding.”
Keira looked at her family, and Declan, as if they had just fallen from another planet.
“Who are you people? What have you done to my family and my boyfriend? Or have you all gone insane?”
“Relax, dear. Megan’s pulling your leg and you fell for it. You always do.”
“Mom, Keira’s got to lighten up a little.”
Keira shook her head, chuckling, and shrugged, “You are a very funny bunch. I don’t know how I put up with you all. By the way, Mr. Slane, you’ve been talking to my mom quite a bit, haven’t you?”
“Well, as a matter of fact, I have. She’s taken good care of me. Why do you ask?”
“Because she’s the only person who uses my middle name.”
“Oops. I let it slip, Claire. I’m sorry,” he winked at
Mrs. Ashe and Keira was astonished to notice her mother blushing.
“That’s fine, son. She doesn’t like it, but I think it’s a lovely name.”
“Agreed.”
Watching her family and Declan interact so comfortably, Keira realized she had never been happier, or more fulfilled. In spite of her recent brush with death, she was glad to see that the four most important people in her life got along so well.
I could spend the rest of my days listening to their banter, their laughter, and I wouldn’t get tired of it.
Soon, Colin and Brandon Slane arrived, with their families, and Keira had the priceless chance to see Declan with his brothers. There was an energy flowing around the three men that was totally different from the kind of connection she had with Megan. It was more primitive and very male, as testosterone seemed to impregnate the room around them. Nevertheless, there was no mistaking what kind of bond linked the three brothers – it was love. It was easy for Keira to recognize it because it was the same glue that held her family together.
Knowing that Declan and his brothers shared so much positive emotions, in spite of their troubled past, was pretty comforting. She smiled to herself as she remembered his insecurities and worries about his own ability to love and have a healthy, stable relationship. Judging by the way he behaved with his brothers and their families, he shouldn’t worry about that at all.
The small group spent the rest of the day together like that –teasing, laughing and telling stories. Keira learned about a lot of revealing episodes from Declan’s childhood. But Megan didn’t disappoint her sister’s boyfriend. She delighted him with many colorful stories about Keira’s, as well.
When the Slanes decided to leave, Keira didn’t see the discreet signal Declan gave her family, because she was busy saying goodbye to Declan’s brothers and their wives. She was surprised to see her family gathering their belongings.
