by Jade Webb
49
Liam
“You look like shit, you know.”
I grab the bag swinging in front of me and steady it. Standing behind it, her arms crossed at her chest, her bright-blue hair piled at a bun atop her head, is Daphni, quite literally the last person I want to see right now.
“Well, nice to see you, too,” I bite back.
Before I can land another punch, Daphni sidesteps to maneuver herself between me and the bag. I hold my hands up in defeat and turn to step away. Daphni grabs my arm to stop me, her hand sliding off my sweaty skin.
“Oh, gross,” she says, drying her hands on her pants. “Okay, sorry! Not gross. Wait, Liam. Wait!”
I pause and turn to face her, exasperated. “What is it, Daphni?”
“I know I am Gabby’s sister, and I get it. Trust me, I do. But before you were her boyfriend, you were my bodyguard and…my friend.” Daphni pauses and looks down at her feet. I realize she’s nervous and it throws me off. I have seen Daphni express a lot of emotions, from homicidal rage to cherubic angel, but never nervous. “And I want to let you know that on behalf of my sister, and really all womankind, I’m sorry.”
I nod, accepting her apology, and start to unwrap the black tape off my hands as Daphni continues.
“My sister is a certifiable genius. Seriously, she can read a book in like three hours and can recite Shakespeare and knows how to use a thesaurus. But, she’s also a complete idiot for letting someone as amazing as you slip out of her reach.”
She plops herself down on the metal bench and runs her fingers through her bright-blue hair. She looks so dejected. I take a seat next to her and pat her thigh reassuringly. “It’s okay, Daphni.”
She offers me a grateful smile as she tilts her head to look at me. “You know, everyone always comments on how me and Gabby are so different. But we’re a lot more alike than anyone, especially she, realizes.” Daphni’s voice changes and I watch her emerald eyes fade as a powerful memory takes hold of her. “I know I date losers. I had a really great guy once, too, and I threw it all away. And I regret it every single day. I don’t want Gabby to have to live with that kind of regret,” she says, shaking her head.
“Well, I think we both know that Gabby is going to do whatever the bloody hell she wants,” I say, a bit more bitterly than I had intended.
“You really fell for her, didn’t you?” Daphni asks, her eyes wide with concern. Her bright-green eyes watch me and I shrug my shoulders in defeat.
“Yeah, I guess I did,” I admit.
She nods thoughtfully before responding. “I’ve tried to talk to her, but every time I bring up your name, she makes some excuse and rushes off the phone.”
I blow out a frustrated sigh. “Well at least she takes your calls.” After our fight last week, Gabby had abruptly left the tour. She had apparently disconnected her phone, too.
Daphni places her small hand on mine. She doesn’t say a word, knowing that her silent support is all I need in this moment. After a few minutes, she stands up, placing a quick kiss on my forehead, and affectionately brushes her hand through my hair. “I’m here for you, you know. I know you’re going to abandon me after the tour finishes, but we’re bonded for life. No escaping me,” she adds playfully before sliding out the door. In her absence, with nothing but silence as my company, I feel even more alone.
50
Gabby
Two months later…
“It’s here! It’s here!”
I pop my head out from my book and watch as Daphni skips through the open doors leading to the back patio, waving her phone in her hand. I shoot out of my seat and rush toward her.
“Well, what does it say?” I ask impatiently as she continues to skip around in circles.
“I didn’t open it yet. I wanted you to see it first!” she sings as she finally comes to a stop.
I grab for her phone and scan the email informing me that my LSAT results are in. After I had taken the exams, I had asked Daphni to sync my email to her phone so she could let me know the instant my results arrived.
After leaving Daphni's tour, I had quickly learned that having internet access only made me miserable. For a solid week, I had spent hours each night looking through social media trying to catch glimpses of Liam in pictures of Daphni. After my sixth night without sleep, I had banned myself from the internet and even trashed my phone. Though I had been a complete emotional wreck, I had forced myself to obsessively study for hours, using the distraction of cramming for the LSATs to serve as a buffer against thinking about Liam. Today I would discover if all that work had paid off.
After logging into my online account, I wait for what feels like an eternity before I can finally access my results through the portal. Once I see my score, I drop down into the seat behind me and take a long exhale. I close my eyes and let my body sink into the cushioned seat. Four years of undergrad and late nights studying, weekends spent locked away in the library followed by four months of memorizing legal terminology, endless practice theory tests and now all that work had culminated in a three-number score. A score that would determine my future. Three numbers.
“Oh my God, Gabby! Just tell me!” Daphni squeals as she reaches for the phone, her eyes widening as she reads the results for herself.
“Holy shit. You got a 178.” Daphni drops her phone on the table and jumps up and down before throwing herself onto my lap and giving me a big kiss on the cheek. “You got a 178! You got a 178!”
I paste a smile on my face, but inside I feel nothing. For years, I had been dreaming of this moment. And now that it was here? Nothing. I feel empty and hollow, and I know it’s because the one person who I wanted to tell and celebrate with is not with me. And it’s no one’s fault but my own. So when I read the score, instead of feeling victorious, I feel like I just got sucker punched in the gut.
Daphni looks at me, her bright smile fading as she watches me. “Gabby. You got a freaking 178! Why aren’t you celebrating? Screaming? Sacrificing the small child you must have promised to have gotten a freaking 178!?”
I shrug my shoulders and Daphni slides off my lap and takes the empty chair next to me. “Aren’t you happy?” she asks, her voice soft.
“I think I am?” I answer truthfully. “I mean, I’ve been waiting for this day forever. But now it’s here and I just feel so…empty inside.”
“Will you let me say it?” Daphni asks after a long pause. But I don’t need her to say it, I already know.
I sigh as I feel my lips start to tremble. “What did I do, Daphni?”
“Baby girl, you did what you learned from mom and dad. And from Lawrence and psycho Fiona and…me and any number of the idiots I’ve dated.” She shrugs her shoulder. “You decided to cut your losses and run instead of letting yourself fall.”
“God, Daphni,” I moan. “Maybe we’re just cursed.”
“Gabby, we’re not cursed. We’re just idiots.” She looks down at my score on her phone again and gives me a sad smile. “Well, at least when it comes to love.”
“I think I love him,” I whisper before letting a single tear escape and fall down my cheek.
Daphni wipes it away with her pink fingernail. “I know you do. It’s not too late to tell him that.”
I shrug my shoulders helplessly. “He’ll never want to talk to me again.” Dropping my head into my hands, I let out another frustrated groan. “I said some pretty terrible things.”
I feel Daphni cover my hand with hers. “Gabby, if he were a good enough man for you—the sweetest, kindest person I know—to fall in love with, then I know he will be able to forgive you.” A hesitant, bashful smile rises to her lips as she adds, “Besides, I bet nothing you did even comes close to half the shit I pulled on the poor guy!”
I choke out a laugh as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
Locking her eyes on mine, Daphni’s face turns serious. “Gabby, I don’t want you to live a life wondering if you made the wrong choice. I don’t want you to live with that
kind of regret,” she says, her voice soft and pained. I give her hand a comforting squeeze, knowing how painful it is for her to talk about her past and the time she lost the love of her life.
Putting on a brave face, I nod. “Okay,” I say resolutely.
Daphni quirks her brow, a smile returning on her face. “Okay?”
“God, how do I even find him?”
Daphni smiles, the excitement reappearing in her bright eyes. “That I can actually help with!”
51
Gabby
I pull into the parking lot and shift my car into park. I tug at my hair and take another look in the mirror, though I unsurprisingly look exactly the same as I did two minutes ago. I’m a nervous wreck and I’m worried the sleepless nights and late-night Ben and Jerry’s binges have done me few favors. Still, I push myself out of the car and will my body toward the pale stone walkways.
I’ve been here before, a few months ago, on the tour of the law school they had on campus. I hadn’t paid attention to the other schools, hadn’t realized they also had one of the most prominent engineering programs in the country. Because like everything in my life, I had blinders on, only seeing the world through my lens and how it impacted me.
It’s why I had never known that Liam had been saving up to attend Stanford University and enroll in their engineering program so he could follow in the footsteps of his stepfather, who he admired. Because even though he had the GI Bill to cover his tuition, Liam wanted to make sure that he had enough saved to continue sending his nephew to private school. And when Daphni had heard his story at his interview, she had promised him that if he could manage to keep her alive through the tour, she would give his nephew a free ride to any college of his choice. She thinks she may have been drunk, but she remembered how determined and passionate Liam was and she told him that he reminded her of her sister, and that she wanted to help him out.
She had never told me. She had figured Liam would in his own time. He never had, and after replaying every single conversation between us, I realized I’d never asked. I had been so absorbed by my own priorities—my relationship with Daphni, prepping for the LSATs, my own future—that I’d never bothered to learn about the man to whom I’d accidentally given my heart.
It was a wake-up call I desperately needed. And it made me even more resolved to apologize to Liam and to try to make this right. Even if he had moved on and didn’t want to be with me, he deserved to hear how truly sorry I was. And thanks to some stealth stalking skills that I never fully realized Daphni possessed, we were able to call the university and get Liam’s schedule.
Which is how I landed here today. I had spent the whole night concocting elaborate plans to confess my love to Liam. Daphni had enthusiastically endorsed a plan in which I storm into his classroom, holding up a boom box blaring "In Your Eyes" à la John Cusack, even though I had nixed that one immediately. Ultimately, after a sleepless night, I decided I would show up and wait to grab him after his last class of the day. I would finally apologize for every terrible thing I said, and hoped he would stick around long enough for me to confess that I loved him. It wasn’t the most imaginative plan, but it was the best I could come up with, especially after two months of barely sleeping and merely existing in a semi-comatose state. I’m putting myself out there: I'm tired of playing it safe. Playing it safe lost me Liam.
I head into the small coffee shop outside the building where his class is and order a large coffee. Settling down at a table by the window so I can watch for Liam, I open the book I brought to help distract me. I re-read the first line a few times in my head, willing myself to focus. After looking down at my watch and realizing I still have fifty-two minutes to go, I force myself to ignore everything around me and just read. Slowly, without even noticing, I let myself fall into the book, turning each page with rabid fascination as the coffee in my cup begins to cool.
Only when I move to flip the page to start the next chapter do I finally get distracted when a dark shadow crosses over my table. I look up and feel the breath rush out of my lungs when I see Liam. His intense, grey eyes are watching me and under his gaze, I swear it feels like the rest of the world fades away. All I can see is Liam. And like my favorite books, weathered by time, their spines barely legible from all the deep wrinkles, I can read Liam. I can see the hurt etched into the lines of his face, the vulnerability he so openly wears in his charcoal eyes.
And as much as I want to speak, to tell Liam how sorry I am, how utterly and hopelessly I have fallen in love with him, I feel myself freeze. Because I’m still terrified. Terrified that Liam may no longer love me and if I speak the words out loud, I will be damning myself to a life sentence of misery and heartache.
As if sensing my momentary paralysis, Liam slowly pulls out the opposite chair and sits down. He gestures with his chin at my book lying on the table.
“The Fountainhead,” he comments. “Good choice.”
I nod in agreement. “I just started.”
“Personally, I think Rand’s assessment that he is the ‘ideal man’ is bullshit. When he explodes—”
I shake my head and cover my ears. “No spoilers, please!”
When Liam quirks his brow, I explain. “I’ve actually decided to take some advice for once and let life surprise me every once and awhile.”
Liam’s brows shoot up in surprise and he tries to hold back a smile. “Well, whoever gave you that sage advice sounds like a pretty wise man.”
“What makes you assume it’s a man?”
I catch the hint of a spark reach Liam’s eyes and it ignites a flame of hope inside of me.
I force myself to be brave, and before I can convince myself not to continue, I say, “Liam, I came here to tell you something." I inhale a deep, steadying breath before I go on. "I know I hurt you and I don't know if there is anything I can say that will ever be enough to fix that.”
I will my eyes to look up and look at him. He leans forward in his chair, dropping his elbows onto the table. With him closer, I can smell that familiar scent that is unmistakably Liam, the same smell I had woken up to now for two months as I would clutch his sweatshirt in my arms while I slept. It makes me dizzy and in that moment, forces me to fully acknowledge how much I had let myself fall for this man.
I summon every ounce of courage to continue. “Liam, you have haunted me. You’ve captured some part of me that I thought I wasn’t even capable of possessing. Body and soul, you own me. And that literally terrifies me. But I also know it means I get to have you in my life and that makes it all worth it. The fear, the unknown, the possibility you may decide to wake up and leave me one day—it’s all worth it if I can spend just one more day with you."
I feel my eyes brim with moisture as I force myself to look at him. His eyes are locked on me, watching me with intensity. I swallow, silencing the fear still lurking in the deep recesses of my brain. "Liam, I love you," I whisper.
As the words leave my lips, I feel my heart stop. When he doesn’t say anything, I feel a lone tear slowly slide down my cheek and before I can brush it away, I feel Liam’s thumb there, his gentle, tender touch wiping my tear away. He drags his chair next to me, and wraps his large hands over mine.
“Love, you had my heart the minute I laid my tired eyes on you in your sister’s dressing room, that dress in your hands and that hilarious, scared look in your eyes. And when I learned how smart, how compassionate, and how funny you were, I knew you were the woman for me.” He lifts my hands and turns them over, exposing my palms. Placing a gentle kiss on each one, he holds my hands to his chest. “It’s you, Gabby. You’re it for me. I just needed you to get out of your own damn head and realize it for yourself.”
I bite down on my lip, willing every cell in my body not to crumble, not to let the store of tears brimming in my eyes free—willing myself to throw a smile on my face and push away the emotion. But I’m tired of doing that. I don’t want to hide anymore. So I let the tears fall, and with my hands still on Liam’s chest,
I grab the fabric of his shirt and pull him toward me, bringing my lips to his. And with his lips on mine, I realize that Liam has become something that I have always wanted: my home.
And while there is still a part of me that is terrified of letting this man in, I know I want to risk it. I want to risk it all if it means that at the end of the day, I can call him mine. So while I may not exactly know what the future holds for us, I finally realize that I don’t care. I don’t need to know, because Liam’s lips on mine and his heart beating beneath my fingertips tell me all I need to know about our love story: it ends with happily ever after.
Acknowledgments
This book would not have been able to be born without the critical support of my family.
To Mom and Papa, thank you for believing in me and helping to bankroll this dream of mine. When I’m a millionaire, I’ll promise to pay you back.
To Pedro, thank you for doing all the dishes and laundry for the past year. When I’m a millionaire, I’ll promise we’ll hire a maid.
And to Jean, who believed in me from day one. Your unflagging belief helped me realized that I could do it. This would never have been possible without you.
About the Author
Jade Webb is a lover of romance novels that feature strong heroines who know that the loves that may come into their lives are always the icing, and never the cake.
Thanks to her own marriage, Jade has learned that the challenges of life can only help to make love stronger and she is grateful to her partner for embodying all the magic that love can offer.
When she is not writing or dreaming up new love stories, Jade is working in a retirement community outside of Boston that provides her with enough writing material for ten lifetimes.
