“Why does your family like me so much?”
He glances at me. “They’re fans.”
I sigh, shaking my head. “Most people don’t bring their favorite reality show star home to hang out.”
“They’ve seen what’s happened to you, and they feel for you. They’ve experienced what it’s like to have the things they do splattered all over the media. When Collin was kissed by a girl at school, the next day something came out about him being a heartbreaker like his father. When Emily and I were engaged, all kinds of slanderous nonsense was tossed around about both of us. Anytime I make a public appearance, someone has to say something critical about me that my boys hear. We all know what it feels like.”
I rub my knees, still not quite understanding. “But why me? Last year you didn’t bring those couples home that had affairs.”
His jaw clenches. “You’re an innocent victim. They asked for what they got.”
Sensing his hostility at the mere thought of those couples, I wrap my arms around myself and stare out the window.
He sighs heavily, like a great burden weighs on his chest. “Hailey, I’m sorry. Last year was a terrible year with the show. I don’t like thinking about it.”
I look to him, trying to understand him. “Then why did you stay on?”
“To protect people like you. There are plenty of good people who get caught up in the whirlwind and get hurt. I work to try and keep my contestants’ heads on straight. The only other judge who does that is Lance. The other two…” He shakes his head. “Well, you know.”
“That’s why you want to expose Steven, so you can quit?”
He nods. “Kill the show, stop the exploitation of innocent people, and get out.”
“Aren’t you…” I bite my lip.
He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “What? Don’t be afraid to say anything to me.”
“Aren’t you afraid of losing everything? I mean, if you get sued, you could lose your house, your cars—”
“My house is paid off, but if we have to, we can downgrade. I don’t need a Ferrari, or an indoor pool, or tennis courts—”
“You have tennis courts too?” I ask, sitting upright.
“Yes, but the point is, as long as I have my family and a clear conscience, that’s all I need in life.”
“Coming from someone who’s never been poor.”
He purses his lips. “Mmm.”
I sigh, resting my head back. “That was rude, sorry.”
“No, you’re right. Even before I became famous, I came from a rich family. I have no understanding of a life like yours. I’m sorry you had to struggle.”
“It’s not your fault.” I shut my eyes. “I’m so tired.”
“I’ll wake you when we get there.”
It isn’t a long drive, but I doze off anyway. The day has been far too long and dramatic. At the hotel, Jeff gently shakes my shoulder. I jump and he smiles. “Do you need me to walk you in?”
“No, I’m…” I rub my eyes. “I’ll be fine from here. Thanks.”
“All right. Good luck tomorrow.”
I climb out and shuffle into the lobby. As I walk through the doors, I glance back. He waves as he drives off. What a weird night.
In the elevator, I press my forehead against the cool mirror. Although I’d forgotten for a while, my problems still remain. I still feel a deep ache in my heart from Tom’s betrayal, and even more from the possibility that Lucas could be dating Vanessa. The tension between the Murphys also riddles me with guilt. Somehow, I’d made them fight.
The door opens and I stumble out. I grab my forehead as I shuffle down the corridor, wanting nothing more than to pass out in my bed. Sleep would bring some kind of escape from reality.
I dig for my keycard and a movement makes me jump. Lucas stands beside my door.
I back up, startled to find him right there while my feelings for him churn inside me. “What are you doing here?”
His brows furrow together. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’ve been trying to call you.”
I pull out my phone. Eight missed calls. “No kidding. Sorry, it was on silent.”
I brush by him, unable to look him in the eyes and see him pitying me, and slide the card in the lock.
“Where did you go?” he asks, tension in his voice.
“Why does it matter?” I push the door open and step in.
“You left in a hurry. I was worried.” He follows me.
I scoff. “Here we go. I’m not your sister. I don’t need protecting.”
He scowls. “Hailey.”
“I want to go to bed, Lucas,” I say, exasperated, as I kick off my shoes. “Please, go call Vanessa if you feel like bothering someone.”
“Why would I…”
I toss my handbag on the armchair by the window, trying to ignore him, to ignore my pain.
“Vanessa calls me.”
My heart lifts, but I still don’t want to look at him. If I look at him, I’ll lose control of my emotions.
“We’re friends. She’s nice. I thought you liked her.”
“I do.” I kick my shoes under the desk. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“What did she say to you? Why are you so hostile toward me?” He moves away from the closed door, his voice rising in pitch.
I grunt and pull off my cardigan. “I don’t know. Why are you and Isaiah so hostile to each other? Why is Clarissa suddenly part of the hostility too? Why does Vanessa seem to know more about you than I do? And why am I stuck in the middle, but kept away from the heart of it? I thought you trusted me. I thought we were friends.”
“Hailey, I do. We are.”
I swing around to glare at him. “Then tell me why I couldn’t sit and enjoy a meal with your family without being the rope in a three-way tug-of-war.”
He stares at me, his brows furrowed. We stand motionless for several moments, while my heart races. Why can’t he tell me? Am I really that much of a child in his eyes?
He breaks eye contact and runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry we made you feel that way.”
I wait. He needs to give me more than that.
He sighs and steps toward me. “Hailey, it’s not about you.”
I move to step back, but his gaze keeps me locked on the spot. So, I lean away.
He gently grabs my hands. “There’s nothing going on with Vanessa.”
My heart soars, but I refuse to show it.
“Isaiah and I, we’ve never got along. I’m sorry you feel like it’s your fault, but it’s not.”
“What is it then?” I say softly, unable to tear myself away from his gaze.
“He’s just…and I’m…” He releases my left hand and brushes his fingers against my cheek. I just about lose my mind at his touch. It takes all my strength to keep from melting into his arms. But he pulls back. “It’s not your fault.”
“Lucas.” I gaze into his eyes, breathless, pleading with him to tell me. To trust me.
“I’m sorry.” He stares at his feet. “I just can’t.”
“Can’t what?” Exasperated, I clutch the back of the armchair behind me. “I’ve told you everything. You know things I haven’t even told my mom.”
“I know,” he says.
I groan, completely fed up with the drama. I point at the door. “Just go. I’m tired of people hurting me. I don’t want to be stuck in the middle of something when you don’t think I’m worth telling why I’m stuck there.”
His gaze shoots to me, and he steps toward me. “Hailey—”
“No. Go.”
He freezes as our eyes meet. His chest rises and falls. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to protect you. Please understand.”
I glare at him. “Get. Out.”
He deflates, slumping. “Okay. I don’t want to upset you.” He turns and walks to the door. As he steps through, he glances back. “Just…don’t let Isaiah near you.”
He shuts the door behind him, leaving
me standing there alone.
I collapse onto my bed, my heart breaking all over again. Lucas doesn’t feel the way I do for him. My heart can’t take much more of all this heartbreak. I won’t seek out the Murphys anymore. I might love them, but there’s too much pain. To be crazy about Lucas and not have it reciprocated is agonizing, and I cry. How could I be so stupid? And what’s worse, he won’t tell me what I did to his family. Why am I tearing them apart? I have to let them go to save them.
I miss my simple life. Once I’ve done my part with Vanessa and the show, no more performing.
Chapter Nineteen
Vanessa keeps staring at me. I don’t really care. Two days have passed since I last spoke to Lucas, not that he hasn’t tried. My call log shows an endless stream of missed calls, calls I chose to ignore. Even Clarissa tried calling a few times. Although it hurts, I refuse to be the source of conflict between them. And Lucas hurt me, more than I care to admit.
During our lunch break, I find a quiet corner outside and shut my eyes. I just want to go home. I feel like a child, wishing for my mom to hold me and make the big bad world go away.
My phone beeps with a text. I open it and read—
Hailey, I miss you. Please forgive me…
I glance at the name. Tom. Why won’t he just leave me alone? I consider deleting it, but read the rest of the text instead.
Tom: I know it’s been hard, and I understand you kissing that Lucas guy, but I think we can sort out our issues. I’ve been stupid to not tell you how much I care. Please come back so we can talk.
He still can’t say he loves me! Am I really that terrible that love is a bad word? Not to mention the cheating…wait a second. I look over the text again. How did he know I kissed Lucas? The photographer!
Pulling up the browser on my phone, it only takes me seconds to find a series of photos from that night. Lucas and me at dinner, talking, laughing, holding hands. Then at the beach where I leaned in and kissed him. The caption says, Hailey and Lucas make their relationship public.
Fighting back my emotions, I exit out of the article and return to the text from Tom. I reply.
Me: Leave me alone. I don’t want you to fight for me. It’s not a romantic gesture when you slept with someone else for several months. It’s insulting that you would think I’m that pathetic. We’re over. Permanently. Goodbye, Tom.
Only a few seconds later, he calls. I toss my phone aside, not wanting to deal with him anymore. He’s the last person on Earth I want to talk to. After it stops ringing, a voicemail comes through. With shaky hands, I open it to listen since I’m a glutton for punishment.
“Hailey,” Tom says, his voice thick with emotion. “I miss you so much, and I’m so sorry for what I did, more sorry than I’ve ever been in my life. You’re right to be angry and hurt. I just wish I could make it go away. But I don’t think you’re pathetic.” He let out a long sigh. “Hailey, as much as I want you back, I can’t…I won’t make you keep living with so much pain.”
He lets out a long breath. “I want to convince you to come back to me, but I know that won’t make you happy. So, I’ll stop. I’ll let you go and try to move on. You and Anthony are right—you do deserve better than what I did, and I really hope that Lucas guy can give it to you. I won’t say I’m fine with it, because I’m not. Every time I see you, I’ll regret…” He made a strangled sound. “I’m so sorry, Hailey.”
The message ends. I feel…sad. Just sad. I had loved him, and I never expected it to end, especially like that. But something about the pain in his voice takes my anger and hurt from his betrayal away. He had cared about me, even if it wasn’t enough. But he regrets what he did. Maybe my pain will benefit someone else one day. When he meets someone he truly loves, he won’t make the same mistake.
My phone rings again, but I don’t recognize the number. I decide against answering and again let it go to voicemail. When the message comes through, I expect to delete the telemarketer’s message, but instead…
“This is for Miss Hailey Becker. I’m Ted Gallagher, Jeffrey Halloway’s agent. I would like to speak with you while you’re in town. I think you have a promising future ahead of you, and I would like to discuss your options. Please call me back as soon as you can.”
He left his number, and I save it on my phone. Is this really happening? Jeff has to have something to do with it. His son made the suggestion a few nights earlier. But do I want to pursue a life in the spotlight? There’s no harm in at least meeting the agent. I can turn him down if I decide it’s not for me. Then again, a piece of me still really wants to sing.
***
I open the door to my hotel room and pause, gasping. A bouquet of flowers sits on the small table by the window with an envelope beside it. I pluck up the envelope, wondering who could have sent them. I look at the bottom of the message. Lucas.
My heart races as my gaze lifts to the top of the note to see what he had to say.
Hailey—
I’m sorry for how we parted. There are things I need to tell you. I shouldn’t shut you out of this. I know you’ll understand. When you’re ready, please contact me so we can meet and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.
Lucas
I take a deep breath. Whatever I want to know? That covers a lot of things, mostly why he and Isaiah resent each other so much. But there’s one thing I want to know but I’m not sure if I can ask—how does he feel about me?
***
I don’t even know if the Murphys are in their rooms. I can’t hear anything or anyone as I stand outside Lucas’s door. With a deep breath, I raise my fist and knock. No one answers. I knock again. “Lucas?”
A thud inside makes me jump and I back away, suddenly afraid to face him. Looking toward the elevator, I make a move to dash away, then the door flies open.
“Hailey?”
Not Lucas. The lump in my throat vanishes as I gaze up at his handsome face. “Isaiah.”
A smile dances on his lips. “What are you doing here?”
Dodging his gaze, I clear my throat. “Lucas wanted to talk to me.”
“I thought you were blowing him off.”
I stare at my feet, letting out a long breath. “I was. But I want to hear him out.”
Isaiah steps back, opening the way into the room. “Come in.”
I slip by him. The room looks significantly tidier with just Lucas and Arnie living there. “Why are you in here?”
Isaiah motions to the joining door. “I heard you knocking.”
“Where’s everyone else?”
“I’m not sure. I took a nap, and when I woke up, they’d all gone.” He motions to the armchair in the corner. “Lucas should be back soon.”
I sit, facing him as he sits cross-legged on the bed. “Thanks.”
“Is everything okay?” he asks.
Staring toward the window, I say, “I’m doing better. This backing deal with Vanessa has proved to be a good distraction.”
“Yeah, I bet. What your boyfriend did really sucks.”
I shrug, my skin warming as my emotions swell. “It’s probably better this way. At least we weren’t married.”
“True.” He leans back against his arms. “So, it’s over?”
I scoff as tears force themselves to the surface. “Yeah. It sucks. I thought he cared about me, but looking back on it, I really don’t know why we were together.”
He frowns. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. You didn’t deserve that.”
I stare down at my hands. Everyone keeps saying that, but it doesn’t make things better. Only Lucas’s words give me the hope that the pain will pass, that time will heal. A tear falls and lands on my knuckle. “It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I should—”
“Hey.” His hand rests on my knee as he kneels in front of me. I gasp as he runs his fingers through my hair. “Don’t blame yourself. You’re beautiful, and talented, and if he didn’t see that, then he’s an idiot.”
My heart sinks. “I’m
not beautiful.”
“Hey.” His hand rests on my cheek. “Don’t ever say that. Hailey. You have no idea how amazing you are.”
I look into his eyes and my heart flutters. Does he like me? I’d always felt something for him, and our friendship came easily, but Clarissa always warned me not to…
He leans in and softly kisses my lips. He breaks away but stays close, his breath caressing my lips. “You’re beautiful.”
I look into his eyes. “You really think I am?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. Even before that makeover I thought you were beautiful.”
He kisses me firmly, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me off the chair into his lap.
I cling to him, kissing him back with just as much intensity and wondering why he’d noticed me. My internal battle pushes out of my mind as he kisses me in a way I’d never experienced, his tongue playing with mine and my lips. Incredible. I’m losing all sense of reason.
I pull back to catch my breath. “Isaiah?”
“Shh.”
He lifts me and sets me on the bed underneath him. His hands run up and down my body, slipping my shirt up to expose my skin. He breaks away for a moment to pull off his shirt. He kisses me again, his hands wandering over my body, and finally resting over my bra.
“You’re so hot,” he says breathlessly. “Hailey, you’re gorgeous.”
I moan as he nibbles on my neck, his hands sliding under my skirt and rubbing my thighs.
Wait! He wants sex! I don’t want that. Not with him.
I rest my hand on his chest. “What are you doing?”
He smiles. “Hailey, I was just waiting for you to be single.”
He bends down and kisses me again. I moan, his hands rubbing the skin on my waist and abdomen. My fingers find his bare back, feeling his muscles flexing as he rubs against me. But Lucas fills my mind. His muscular shoulders and torso, his beautiful smile…Lucas…Lucas!
Gasping, I break away from Isaiah’s kiss. I don’t want Isaiah. But I can’t have Lucas. I’ve fallen for the wrong brother!
Quest For A Popstar Page 20
