by K E Osborn
“I guess not, it’s just the act seemed so damn real. But that vulnerable, normal girl I just met was lovely. I didn’t expect it. I’m sad I thought she was faking it. I feel like an asshole, Nate.”
“You’re not an asshole. People can’t see Ria for who she really is, and I hate that but I get it too. She puts up this façade that’s so strong and impenetrable. She’s such a good actress, that’s why people believe her.”
“The hard part’s going to be convincing Lunar to get on board.”
“Tell me about it. Anyway where is everyone?”
“They’re all in the viewing area, waiting. Wanna go?”
“Yeah, may as well. I’m sure today’s gonna be torture no matter when it starts.”
Tillie wraps her arm in mine as we walk off to the viewing area. I walk up the steps seeing Matt, Ryan and Lunar already there. Oliver is off to the side on his cell. As we walk up everyone looks over and smiles at us.
“Hey, it’s my girl,” Ryan says smiling at Tillie.
“I just had the coolest conversation with Zaria,” Tillie tells them making me bubble inside with pride.
“Let me guess… she’s possessed by the devil and just won the part of Regan in a remake of The Exorcist?” Lunar jabs.
“Hey,” I warn.
“Oh relax. I’m only joking… kinda,” Lunar says.
“Actually, she was really lovely. Showed me a different side to her. The side Nate’s been seeing, the real Zaria, I think,” Tillie says.
Lunar rolls her eyes. “She’s probably a master manipulator—”
“Lunar, look… I love you, you know that. I’d do anything for you. But please don’t talk about her like that. She’s not a manipulator, she’s the kindest, most warm-hearted woman I know. If you got over your jealousy and gave her a chance, I think you two could be good friends.”
“I might be jealous… I’m not gonna hide that fact from you guys… but she looks down on us, and I had just about enough of that when I was a club girl. People always thinking I was a worthless whore because of my title. I won’t let that happen again, Nate! Never again.”
“She doesn’t look down on you, Lunar. All she wants is for you to like her.”
“Yeah. Never gonna happen.”
“You should give her a chance, Lunar,” Tillie suggests.
Lunar raises her brow. “You really believe the story she was spinning you?”
“There was no story, Lunar, just genuine niceness. She was trying, I could tell. There’s more to her, more than we know… right Nate?”
“I think there’s more that I don’t even know. She’s had a rough life. Being a star isn’t easy, and having this life thrust upon you at such a young age never turns out well. It’s amazing that she’s still okay, to be honest.”
“Two broken winged birds soaring together,” Matt says and we all look at him as he chuckles to himself.
“How very poetic of you, Matthew,” Lunar chuckles.
“Yeah, I keep finding little doodles of doves drawn around the house. I figure it’s Nate’s thing at the moment… birds in particular.”
I smile and nod thinking of the canvas in my studio that still needs perfecting and finishing for Ria.
“Quiet please,” someone calls out and we all turn to see the hotel room lit just like yesterday, and Danger and Ria sitting in the middle of the bed. My heart leaps into my throat. I haven’t had a chance to talk to anyone about what’s going to happen today and I’m pretty uptight right now.
It’s okay to know it’s only acting but to watch it is something entirely different. It’s hard, harder than I could have imagined even though I know it’s not real.
The lights dim everywhere except for the set, which is lit by soft mood lighting that’s perfect for the scene. Danger and Ria move down under the sheets facing each other making it a little harder to view clearly, but I can see just enough. They’re so close to each other it’s making my skin bristle, especially as they’re both half-naked.
“Action,” the director calls out as the music starts. My skin prickles in goosebumps while I watch Danger miming to Ria as he caresses her cheek and looks lovingly into her eyes. She smiles back at him the same way and I feel sick.
What the fuck!
Why can’t I get these feelings under control?
This is all a non-issue and I know it.
The tempo of the song shifts slightly and suddenly Danger rolls over on top of her. Ria laughs while I shift uncomfortably as they continue to stare longingly at each other. His body on top of hers, pressing down firmly in places only I should go. My teeth grind together as his face dips down to her neck. I watch his hips rock slightly while a quiet growl echoes from my chest as my body begins to become hot. My heart pounds furiously as a bead of sweat forms on my temple.
They roll over and Ria is now on top of Danger straddling him. His hands run up her back as she sits upright and looks down at him while he continues to mime the words to ‘I’ll Take Your Breath Away.’ She gasps like he’s literally taking her breath away.
My lips purse then a soft delicate hand slides into mine. I grab it tightly not even checking whose it is but taking the support as I watch Ria act like she’s in complete fucking ecstasy.
Jesus, I need to get this shit in check.
Cool, calm and collected runs through my brain for some reason, then “Cut,” is called by the director.
Thank fuck, I think to myself. Wondering if somehow Whisper’s incantation in my brain seeped out into the room.
Don’t be ridiculous, Nate! I berate myself.
Ria starts laughing and quickly jumps off Danger like nothing’s happened, while I huff and turn around just needing to breathe.
“You didn’t run through the script, did you?” Lunar asks from beside me, her hand still in mine.
I subtly shake my head while trying to control my breathing. Lunar exhales. Taking her hand from mine she turns to face me then lunges forward taking me into an embrace. I’m tense to start off with, but I quickly give in and melt into her hug needing the comfort.
“Hey, it was hard for me to watch, too. Don’t worry, it’s okay to be upset,” she says.
I nod and hold onto her probably longer than necessary, but needing the comfort right now. “Thanks, Lunar, I really should have read the script. I’m guessing I’m going to have to watch that another five times again today?”
Lunar pulls back and winces. “Probably. They like to shoot it more than once, but you don’t have to watch them all if you can’t, Nate. Ria will understand. Hell, I’m not sure if I can watch them all either.”
“I wanna support her. I’m well aware that being with her means her doing this stuff in her movies. But fuck, I think watching it for the first time with my friend is kinda… well, fucking horrific. If it were a stranger I think I’d cope better, but this, with Danger… it’s fucking shit, Lunar.”
She weakly smiles. “I think that’s why it’s easier for me. She’s an actress and not someone I’ve known for years.”
“Sorry, I’m being pathetic.”
“No, not at all, Nate. It’s essentially like watching your girlfriend cheat with your friend. If it’s not voyeurism in it’s simplest form, I’m not sure what is.” She laughs but it’s strained. “It’s hard… trust me. I know she likes you. You just have to remember that fact.”
I nod as the director calls action a-fucking-gain. I screw my nose up and turn to see the same images hit me over again. Danger lying next to Ria… caressing her cheek… he mimes to her… she laughs.
Taking a deep breath, I grab Lunar’s hand and sit back down preparing myself to watch this scene reenactment over a few more times.
Cool, calm, collected… yeah right!
Rubbing my face with my hand, I groan slightly as the director yells, “Cut,” after the fifth filming of the same damn scene. My stomach is twisted, maybe permanently, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get the image of Danger grinding into Ria out of my mind.
<
br /> I thought the first time watching it was bad.
By the third I was ready to puke.
Now at the end of the fifth take, I think I’m close to getting ready to stab Danger.
Not really, but I have to admit the urge to punch him is definitely there.
Ria jumps off Danger and I rest my head in my hands while Lunar rubs my back.
“Okay, we’ll move onto the next scene now if everyone’s ready?” the director calls out.
I groan. “Oh God, there’s more?” I ask looking to Lunar.
She chews on her bottom lip like she’s hiding something. “What?” I ask as she looks down to the stage.
“Wardrobe,” someone calls out and a woman walks up to Ria in the bed. I furrow my brows wondering what she could possibly change into? She’s only wearing a bra and panties, for fuck’s sake. That’s when I notice the assistant taking off her bra freeing her gorgeous breasts. My heart leaps into my throat as I stand abruptly pushing my chair back, my chest heaving as Danger looks anywhere but at Ria. She turns slightly toward me while Mindy applies more makeup and I see some tape over her nipples, but her breasts are out completely on show for everyone in here to see. Shaking my head slightly, I try to will myself to calm the fuck down but I’m not sure how successful I am going to be.
Why the fuck do I keep thinking of fucking Whisper right now?
“Hey, remember Nate, it’s nothing we haven’t already seen in her movies before,” Lunar reminds me.
Somehow that helps as she loops her arm around mine and pulls me back down to the seat.
“Fuck! How the hell am I supposed to do this?” I murmur while honestly thinking I’d be better off not watching, but I know I need to show my support to Ria. This is her job, her career, her life and I need to support that if I want to stay with her.
“It’ll get easier each time,” Lunar says but I’m not sure how much conviction I hear in her voice.
Nodding, I start thinking about all the Hollywood heartthrobs she’s done this with and will do this with, in the future.
Ria slides back into the bed and Danger is sitting in the middle of it looking like a lost puppy. Ria climbs up and sits on top of him in a very intimate pose like they’re sitting on the bed fucking. My eyebrows raise and even Lunar looks affected by the position they’re in.
“Jesus Christ, this isn’t going to be… is it?” I ask, and Lunar frowns with a nod. “Fucking hell.”
“Action,” the director calls out.
Danger and Ria start moving together as if they are indeed sitting together in the middle of the bed, fucking. All air leaves my chest as I gasp watching her face contort the way it does when she’s with me. If I didn’t know better I’d swear Danger’s cock was thrusting inside of her for sure.
Shit!
Fuck!
I need to get a grip.
His hands run up her naked back as they move in perfect sync together, their lips never touch, but their hands are all over each other. An insatiable heat engulfs every inch of me, flaming me red hot. My stomach twists with every movement. Honestly, I can’t take watching it anymore as she throws her head back as if engulfed in absolute pleasure.
Bile scorches my throat, but even though this is agony to watch, three words repeat in my mind.
Cool, calm, collected.
How the fuck that little Korean monk is working his way into my brain right now I have no idea.
Suddenly, Lunar stands up, stumbles on the spot, and turns to race out of the viewing area trying her hardest to catch her frantic breath. I watch as Lunar speeds off and I take off after her watching her stumble through the halls and burst through the exit doors. The rush of cool air assaults my face as I watch Lunar lean over placing her hands on her knees and gasping for some much-needed air. She’s too busy panting to hear me come out, but I rush to her side and start rubbing her back.
“Just breathe… slowly, in and out,” I say to her trying to calm her down.
She takes in a long breath through her nose and lets it out slowly through her mouth, then repeats that action twice. She’s beginning to calm down and slow her movements. After taking another deep breath she slowly stands up straight. Then she turns to look at me and I look at her with concerned eyes.
“Hey… you with me?”
“Yeah, sorry. You shouldn’t have had to see that.”
“Hey, I was pretty much at breaking point, too. But seeing you lose it stopped me from panicking and put me into protector mode instead. So thank you, Lunar, you saved me from falling apart.”
She smirks then lets out a small chuckle. “Glad I could help.”
I turn and pull her into a hug. “I hate this as much as you do, trust me. I don’t even know how I kept a level head in there… higher powers or something at work here,” I say.
She raises her eyebrow at me with a slight smirk. “Going in blind was dumb, Nate. You should have read the script. This was horrible for us both and at least I think they’re going to get everything shot and finalized today, so we won’t have to witness anything else.”
I chuckle. “There’s nothing else I have to brace myself for?”
“No, that was the last thing in the script that I read. They wanted to keep the most intimate scene for last, so Danger and Zaria felt more comfortable with each other.”
Nodding, I exhale. “Well I don’t want to go back in there, I’m not sure I can watch that another five times.” I chuckle.
She smiles and nods. “Me either. Wanna go back to mine for a bit?”
Sighing, I give a curt nod and she wraps her arm in mine as we head off toward my car. We drive back to Lunar’s house. Well, technically it’s Ryan’s house, but he’s living with Tillie now and Danger and Lunar rent the house from him. It seems to work well for everyone. I feel kind of guilty for just leaving Ria at the studio, especially because I can’t text her and tell her why. It bugs me more in times like these that I still can’t write properly. I’m a grown man, I should be able to text my girlfriend for fuck’s sake. It just makes me more determined than ever to get this shit under control and get my life on track.
“You okay? You seem even tenser since we left?” Lunar asks as we walk through the front door of her house.
“Yeah… but I feel kinda bad for leaving without saying anything.”
“Just send her a text, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Letting out a slight groan in frustration I say, “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Umm… no credit,” I lie.
Lunar smiles and shakes her head. “You’re a mega rock star with a bankroll to match, and your cell is still on credit not a plan? Geez… you boys will never grow up. I’ll text Danger to let her know where you are?”
Nodding, I send her a weak smile. “Thanks.”
“Coffee?”
“Got anything… um… stronger?”
She winks. “Bourbon it is.”
Lunar strolls over to the kitchen cupboard and pulls down a bottle of William Larue Weller Kentucky Straight Bourbon and two tumblers.
I let out a shocked gasp. “Umm… Lunar, that’s nearly a grand’s worth of bourbon right there.”
She looks at the bottle and shrugs opening it, pouring a hefty amount into each glass and handing me one. “Danger owes us… bottoms up.” She clinks her glass to mine and I take a long taste of the incredibly smooth liquid.
Three hours later, Lunar and I are at the dining table, one bourbon bottle down and a tequila bottle open. Our manic laughter has died down and our epic head pounding has begun as we both sit quietly with our forearms on the table and our heads firmly planted on them.
“Do you think Danger still thinks I’m pretty?” Lunar slurs.
I glance up at her, her head’s still on her arm and I scoff at her like she’s being ridiculous. A small trail of drool falls from my mouth, but I wipe it away with a little more gusto than necessary. “Fuck, are you kidding me? You’re stunning, Lunar.”
She dramatically looks up, her eyes rolling around her head. “But Zaria is soooo pretty, he’s gonna fall for her for sure.”
My head snaps back in shock. “What? No? Really? No... he loves you.”
“He loved Ella-schmella, too. He cheated on her.”
“Pfft, they were long distance. He loves you waaaay more than that bitch.”
She groans flopping her head back down on her arm. “We’re doomed.”
“You and Danger?”
“You and Zaria, me and Danger… maybe we should be polygamous and live as one big happy couple?”
“Danger couldn’t handle all this,” I say with a chuckle running my hands up and down my chest as she looks up and bursts out laughing.
The front door opens and Danger walks in.
“Hey, there you are… I’ve been trying to call you.”
“Ha, I haven’t heard it.” Lunar pulls out her cell and checks. “Twenty-four missed calls and seven text messages.” She bursts out laughing causing Danger to raise his eyebrow as he looks from her to the bottles on the table. “Oh, fuck! It’s on silent, sorry babe… Oh shit! I didn’t tell you to tell Zaria about Nate.”
I look to Danger. “It’s okay she knows you guys left together. Matt saw you guys go. But she is worried Nate… gotta say… I’m a little worried.”
Lunar scoffs. “We’re great…” she hiccups, “… drinking… having our own party, right, Nate?”
Suddenly I feel very tired but also weird, looking at the guy who was basically dry humping my girlfriend all afternoon. “I’m gonna go,” I say probably a little louder than I meant to.
Danger looks at me as I stand up and stumble to the side nearly falling over as my world spins.
“No offense, Nate, but you’re not going anywhere. You can’t drive like that. No way.”
I curl my lip up and blow out a puff of air. “I’m fine,” I say stepping forward to walk off, but everything spins and I face plant the floor next to Lunar. She squeals with laughter while I lay face first on the floor wishing it was anyone but Danger watching the mess I’m in right now.
