by K E Osborn
My cell beeps letting me know there’s a message and I look at the screen seeing it’s a reply from Ria.
Ria: I can’t wait to see you, too.
She replies and now I can see my errors, so I make a mental note and file it away for later.
Matt and I make our way to the studio. We’re running a little late as Matt needed a caffeine hit, so we had to stop at Starbucks, where he proceeded to chat up the clerk for fifteen minutes. But as we walk in, the halls are buzzing with energy and everyone seems excited.
Matt takes his coffee and heads off to the viewing area as I go in search of Ria’s dressing room. As I walk toward her room, a medic is walking out. Furrowing my brows I walk quicker and step in seeing her pacing back and forth.
“Hey, I just saw a medic leaving. You okay?”
She sniffs like she’s on the verge of crying and smiles too wide in compensation as she nods. She looks pale and a little sweaty. “I’m good. Too much stress, as usual. Felt a little fainty, so Tillie sent a medic in. You know how protective she can be.”
I raise my eyebrow and exhale. “How’d it go with your parents last night?”
She groans while rolling her eyes and flops herself onto a chair. “Urgh, they’re frustrating as fuck. Mom’s obviously only staying with him because she’s worried leaving him will cause another heart attack. But they’re flat broke and asking me for money which of course I can afford, but it’s all a bit scary, you know?”
Exhaling, I walk over and place my hands on her shoulders massaging gently. “It can’t be easy, baby, but you need to look after yourself in this, too. If this is making you sick you need to step back.”
She sniffs like she’s trying not to cry again as her hand comes back up embracing mine on her shoulder. “I’m okay, I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”
“Ria, we’re ready for you now,” Mindy says as she comes rushing in, then rushes straight back out like a mad thing.
I chuckle.
“Okay, thanks.” She looks up at me. “We didn’t go through the script.”
“I know,” I reply with pursed lips.
She stands up facing me. “It’s you… only ever you.”
Mindy comes rushing back. “Ria! Now!”
Ria nods and takes my hand as we walk out toward the set. I lean out giving her a kiss and as her lips kiss mine this kiss feels different, there’s a need in it, an ache, like something’s changed. I’m just not sure what? I pull back looking at her as she smiles at me weakly and is rushed off and onto the set. I exhale and make my way up to the viewing area where Lunar is sitting already looking like she could murder someone with just her glare, so I move in beside her and sit down.
She slumps back beside me. “Didn’t think we’d be back here again,” she says.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“You prepared this time?” she asks and I can’t help my laugh. She looks at me and rolls her eyes. “How come you’re not prepared again, doofus?”
“Her parents got in the way this time.”
“Okay, well, it’s pretty much the same shit, just with fucking lip action this time.”
“Lip action?”
“Neck kissing and nipping… etcetera.”
“Oh right, okay, I can handle that.”
“Yeah, I think it’ll be okay. We have each other to keep us in line anyway.”
I smirk. “True story. No bourbon and tequila parties this time.”
“Yeah, none of that.”
I turn in time to see Ria pulling off her robe and stripping down to her panties, the tape is on her nipples and I close my eyes and slowing open them again seeing her so exposed.
I fucking hate it.
I hate it even more that my cock is waking up seeing more of her than I have for two damn months.
Danger walks in and is wearing some slacks and no shirt as he gets into the bed. Memories of the first time this happened come flooding back and the emotions from then filter in too. Knowing Danger and Ria are even closer now than last time is weighing down on me as she climbs into bed and gets into position on his lap. My jaw clenches while waiting for action to be called. They get into position and my heart rate spikes as his hands run up her naked back.
“Action.”
The music starts and their bodies mold together working in unison like they’re fucking. I swallow hard as his fingers dig into her back, her fingers pulling at his hair while they grind into each other. His mouth connects with her collarbone kissing her skin, and I tense up completely, my knuckles turning white as she looks like she’s gasping for air. His tongue darts out licking up her neck as he moves to her ear and he bites on her lobe. My chest is heaving while I watch him do what I’ve been aching to do for two months. I feel like I could burst. Her head falls back as she fake moans and I wince as the director yells ‘cut.’ I let out a heavy breath I didn’t know I was holding as they stop rocking back and forth and she starts laughing, slapping Danger’s chest playfully.
I’d like to punch his face not so playfully.
Lunar reaches out grabbing my hand and squeezes. “Did you think it would be easier?” she asks and I shrug.
“I dunno, yeah, I guess. I thought I’d be better prepared, seems like I’m worse off this time.”
She nods. “I know how you feel. I was prepared but the chemistry they have now and that… the way he was with her just then… we shouldn’t have to watch this shit again, Nate. We’re fucking amazing partners if you ask me.”
“Quiet please,” someone calls out and I know this means we’re going again. I exhale and take in a deep breath as Ria and Danger get into place.
“Action.”
I turn away looking down to the floor as my heart pounds in my chest. I don’t even really know why I’m here.
I don’t need to watch this.
It’s only torturing Lunar and me.
Surely Danger and Ria would understand that?
But instead of getting up and walking out like I should, I sit here through another day of watching my girl get licked, nipped and her grind down on Danger. Lunar isn’t fairing very well either, and I’m sure we’re both pretty much at breaking point.
“Okay, one last take, guys. Make this one count,” the director says and I take a relieved sigh that this is the last time I’ll have to witness this shit live and in neon color right before my very eyes. I figure it’s my last one, so I’ll try to show my support while watching this take.
“Action,” the director calls.
Danger’s hands slide up Ria’s back as her fingers fist in his hair, they rock against each other, her chest pressed against his firmly as his mouth connects with her collarbone. He kisses her harder than the other times, it’s more primal. I can feel the sexual energy buzzing around the room. My heart rate spikes, he’s not just kissing her as a friend he’s kissing her like he’s done it before. She moves in motion with him differently, like it’s turned from a performance into actual pleasure.
My teeth grind hard as he bites down on her neck making her back arch and her tits press into his chest further. His tongue darts out licking up her neck as his teeth grab ahold of her ear. They rock back and forth together in time with the music. They’re really going for it this time. The music is about to reach its big crescendo when Danger pulls back kissing across Ria’s jaw. Ria’s fingers tighten in Danger’s hair and she pulls his mouth to hers, they lock lips in a deeply passionate kiss, bodies rocking back and forth, teeth crashing, lips colliding… hearts shattering. Lunar gasps beside me as I stand up even though my legs feel completely weak.
“And cut…” the director says. “That was perfect. Exactly what we needed, guys. Well done!”
I shake my head slightly as Ria jumps off Danger and Lunar jumps up pushing past me almost falling over in the process as she runs out of the viewing area trying to hold back her tears. Immediately I take off after her as she races in front of me down the hall.
“Lunar,” I call out as she sto
mps and turns around, tears streaming down her face. I reach her and instantly she pushes me hard.
I jolt back shocked.
“You! This is your fault.”
I take a step back to steady myself and shake my head in bewilderment. “Mine? Why?”
“Because you wanted an A-lister to do a video with Recoil. This is all on you, Nate. My marriage is over before it’s begun and it’s all because of you.”
“Hey, your marriage isn’t over, Lunar. You’re still going to marry Danger.”
She laughs almost maniacally. “Oh really? ‘Cause from where I was watching, he’s got his cock firmly set on someone else.”
I pull her to me. She pushes at my chest trying to get me away from her, but I hold her tighter and stroke her hair. She shoves me again, but I don’t budge so she gives in wrapping her arms around me tightly in a strong embrace.
“I’m sorry, Lunar. Watching that was horrible. Them kissing was…”
“Heartbreaking,” she murmurs.
I nod and lean in kissing her head softly as I caress her hair and hold her firmly while she cries.
“Get off her…” a thunderous voice booms down the hall. I turn to see Danger running toward us, fury evident all over him. I let Lunar go and she furrows her brows as he races toward us. “Couldn’t wait to get your mitts on her, huh?” he yells as he reaches me. He draws back, his fist coming full force into my jaw before I have time to react. The pain radiates through my face as I fall to the side. Lunar screams as she launches onto Danger to stop the assault.
“What the fuck, Danger? Are you fucking insane?” Lunar screams.
“He was hitting on you.”
I stand up straightening myself out. “You gotta be kidding me.”
“Danger, he was comforting me after you sucked face with his girlfriend.”
Danger stops and looks from me to Lunar, his breathing slows and he looks back to me furrowing his brows. “You weren’t hitting on her?”
I let out an insulted laugh. “No Danger, I have a girlfriend that actually means something to me.”
His face falls. “Fucking hell… I’m sorry for punching you, man. I just saw you kissing her hair and after today I’m on edge, I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
“It’s fine, but it’s not me you need to apologize to,” I say looking at Lunar. She half-smiles at me as I nod to her and walk off leaving them to their shit. I have my own to sort out. Caressing my jaw I move it from side to side and walk down the hall toward Ria’s dressing room while taking a few calming breaths. I knock on the door and wait.
“Come in.”
I open the door and walk in to see Ria standing in the middle of her room looking a little lost. My jaw hurts so I move it from side to side again as I close the door behind me. “So… that last take was ah…” I pause not really knowing what to say.
“We got what we needed.”
“You were really playing the part well,” I murmur and she slumps her body and frowns.
“I was acting, Nate, you know that. I can tell you’re jealous of what happened here today, with Danger and me. I know what you saw would have been hard to watch, and I hate that this has hurt you—”
“Then why push it that far, Ria?”
“Because that’s my job, Nate. This is what I do. Gah! It’s always going to come back to this with us, isn’t it? You not understanding the choices I make for the good of my career.”
“Ria, I understand why all this happened today, but I don’t have to like it. I mean… fuck! How the hell am I supposed to like you kissing another man? Not just another man… my friend?”
“I was acting for God’s sake!”
“I know! I’m not debating that, why are we even arguing?”
“Because, this is going to be the same dance we always have, Nate. You getting upset every time I kiss another actor.”
My body tenses and I clench my jaw grinding my teeth together so harshly they almost squeal. “Ria, it won’t.”
“It will, Nate. We can’t get past this. There’s no options here,” she says letting out a small sob.
Every part of me tenses as a shudder runs through me. “So what are you saying?”
She flares her nostrils and shakes her head. “We’re done, Nate.”
“What?”
“Just go. I can’t deal, you’re too much. My time with Recoil is over now, you don’t need me anymore. You don’t even know… you have no idea what I’m dealing with right now. Everything is changing. Everything. And you’re not helping with this… is it jealousy?” I go to answer but she puts her fingers up to stop me. “It’s only going to make things harder. We’re done!”
“Ria! No!”
“Go…”
“Ria!”
“I said go!” Exhaling as she turns her back to me, my heart pounds ferociously in my chest and I clench my swelling jaw closed and turn opening the door forcefully, walking through it and slamming it shut behind me. I stand with my back on her door panting for breath not knowing whether I should go back in and apologize or not.
I make my way to my car where Matt’s already waiting. He half-smiles at me and takes a deep breath.
“Guess you’re staying home tonight?”
I simply nod and he nods back as we get in the car and head home. I guess Whisper’s thoughts on us seeing improvements in our lives has gone very, very wrong.
It’s been three weeks, I haven’t had anything scheduled so I’ve been able to wallow and sulk in peace. Matt’s been great staying home with me and keeping me occupied. We haven’t had Whisper around to help realign our chakras or help the qi in our Fung Shui. Last time he was here it turned everything to shit. Yes, obviously it wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t bring myself to see him, even though he would probably somehow make me feel better. I have no idea how Whisper does that, though.
Today is the release of the video and I just can’t bring myself to be excited about it. There’s a launch party at the office, everyone’s going and Matt is trying to get me to go, but I really don’t want to.
“C’mon man, how would it look if a member of the band isn’t there for its own launch? You have to come. Zaria won’t be there, I checked.”
“She won’t?”
He shakes his head and I sigh.
“Okay fine!” I throw on my leather jacket and walk to the car with Matt. We get to the car to find an envelope under the windscreen wiper and we both look at each other curiously.
“What the fuck is that?” I ask and Matt shrugs.
“No idea,” he says pulling it from the windscreen and opening it.
He pulls out a letter and what looks like an air freshener that you hang from your rear view mirror as he chuckles showing it to me. It’s of a little fat Buddha sitting next to a ficus. Matt sniffs it and chuckles.
“Smells like sage.”
I burst out laughing. “You’ve got to be kidding?”
He shakes his head opening the letter when little bits of herbs falls out all over the floor. “How the hell did he get into the parking garage?”
I shake my head. “That’s kinda creepy, right?”
He nods and clears his throat. “Hello, sexy boys,” Matt says putting on an accent to sound like Whisper which makes me laugh. “Today is big day. I proud of you two and your video’s going to be huge. Nathaniel, keep your demons at bay and remember be cool, calm and collected always, and something good will come to you if you do. Matthew, you be a good boy and relax your chakra. Today big day of meetings. Chances will come to you both. Take them. Be one with world and soar my sexy boys. Listen to your heart. When it calling to you. Listen to your soul. There nothing more you can do… Wait isn’t that last bit close to song lyrics?” Matt asks cracking up in a fit of laughter.
I chuckle and it’s funny how even though Whisper isn’t here, he seems to know just when to show up to make us feel a little better. “That Korean Fung Shui guru…” I shake my head. “Man he cracks me up. Okay, let’s get
going. I needed that. I feel like I can actually face this now.”
“Good, you can do this, Nate. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
Nodding, I jump into the car and Matt hops in lacing the Buddha air freshener around the mirror and he drives us to the office where there’s a flurry of people running around. It really is a party.
We head up to the rooftop where the event’s to be held and there’s a big screen where I’m assuming the clip will be projected. There’s a makeshift bar, stools everywhere with drinks and canapes.
Paparazzi are here—invite only—and a few of the who’s who are here too. In a way I’m glad Ria and I never went public with our relationship because then we didn’t have to do the whole public break up bullshit. This way I can look like a tragic rock star and no one knows why. Matt leads me to the drinks bar and we pick up two tumblers of whiskey.
Tillie comes over. “You guys ready for tonight?”
“Are you?” Matt asks and Tillie and I both raise our eyebrows in curiosity at his reply.
“You’re so weird, Matthew. You know that, right?”
He chuckles and shrugs. “Hmm… maybe.”
Tillie ruffles his hair and walks off. I look at him and shake my head. “What was that?”
He shrugs again. “I’m weird… or am I keeping a secret? You’ll never know.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking the former.”
I notice Danger, Ryan and Lunar off to the left not far from us.
Tillie taps the microphone as everyone gathers around. “Welcome everyone to the first screening of the music video for ‘I’ll Take Your Breath Away’ featuring Recoil and the talented and breathtaking Oscar-winning actress Zaria Shafir.” My heart pounds harder at hearing her name. “Before the clip airs live we’re going to premiere it here. So without further ado, I give you Recoil and I’ll Take Your Breath Away.”
I have a giant swig of my whiskey as the lights dim and the screen flashes with the video. Seeing Ria come up looking sexy as fuck has my heart in palpitations instantly. I look away taking another sip as ‘oohs and ahhs’ come from the crowd. I look up just in time to see Danger running his tongue up her neck, I know what comes soon after and I can’t take it so I stand up and casually make my way down the stairs inside the building. In an attempt to calm my breathing, I place my hands on the wall in an attempt to try and calm down.
