by Sammy King
Chelsea leant back in her chair and for the first time remembered it wasn’t just Maggie she was talking to. She quickly looked around and saw Knox and Mason were just as pale as Maggie. Fat tears ran down the cheeks of all three who sat there. Knox cleared his throat and leaned forward.
“Fuck, sorry I need some air” Knox said standing quickly from the table and heading for the door.
Maggie lowered her face to the cold cup of coffee that sat in front of her. Chelsea saw that her hands were shaking but she couldn’t tell whether it was from anger, fear or sadness. Chelsea felt nothing but hatred, for her father and her mother and for that fat piece of shit that her father hooked up with. Her anger was mounting with the deafening sound of silence. Suddenly Chelsea stood up and punched both fists on the table. Maggie let out a scream and shot upright and stared into Chelsea’s face.
“Well fucking say something. Tell me how fucking sorry you are for leaving me with that cunt. Tell me how much you missed me. Tell me how you thought about me every fucking day” Chelsea roared.
Maggie sat back in her chair, her face beginning to redden as her mouth opened and shut like a fish. Mason stood beside Chelsea and touched her shoulder. Chelsea shrugged his hand off her, she felt nothing but fury and if she had the gun she probably would have pulled it out and shot her mother point blank in the face.
“No? Fucking got nothing? So what the fuck are you still doing here? Fuck off then” Chelsea screamed.
Movement beside her pulled Chelsea’s attention to the door of the dining room where she saw several men standing and Knox moving like a giant steam train towards her. He reached her and took her by the shoulders and tugged her outside into the night air. In the court yard there was a fire roaring and she noticed Duggar sitting beside it with his ratty features. Knox stopped by the fire and told Duggar to go inside, he quickly jumped up at Knox’s command and disappeared, Chelsea didn’t think he would be too far away, she didn’t trust him, but at that point she no longer cared. Knox took her shoulders and squared her to him, bending to look her in the eye.
“Girl you have every right to your anger, fuck I’m furious and want to carve Carl up myself. But your Mum never knew. She had no idea. You haven’t heard her story.” Knox said firmly.
Chelsea looked away and into the fire, instantly regretting her outburst. It was true, she had no idea why her mother had left her and maybe she did have a good reason. Chelsea tried to fight back a sob that was building in her throat but felt her whole body begin to shake. Knox stood straight and pulled her into his chest.
“Fuck girl, what a fucking life you’ve had. Fucking seventeen years old and to face that shit.” Knox growled into her hair as she cried into his chest.
“Knox?” Chelsea said looking up at him “Did you find out what happened to him?”
Knox closed his eyes and nodded.
“Yeah, you’re a shit shot. You missed all his vital organs. He told police that he accidentally shot himself. They know it’s a lie but can’t and won’t do anything about it. He gave them your Mum’s number, so I had my mate contact her and let her know you were here. I didn’t quite expect her to march on over here expecting everything be alright” Knox said.
His voice was tired and she knew that she had put him through so much.
“Chels?” Mason said beside her.
Chelsea turned and moved into Mason’s arms.
“I’m sorry Mason. I hate that I pulled you and your Dad into this. I didn’t want to do that” she said against his chest.
“Don’t be sorry. We got you” Mason said into her hair.
“Knox I’m going to go, is it alright that she stay with you until I can sort something else out?” Maggie said from the doorway.
“Mum?” Chelsea said and could feel the tension rise straight away in Maggie.
Chelsea went to Maggie and looked into her face. She looked older than when she first burst in through Mason’s bedroom door. Her eyes were bloodshot from the tears, her shoulders sagged and her hair hung about her face. Her lipstick was worn off and she had mascara streaked down her cheeks.
“Why did you leave me?” Chelsea asked.
Maggie sighed and reached out for Chelsea’s hand as she shook her head.
“I didn’t want to, please if you believe nothing else, please believe that I never wanted to leave you” Maggie said as she went to sit in the chair that Duggar had been previously sitting in.
Chapter Three
Maggie settled herself in the chair and Chelsea went to sit beside her. She noticed Knox nod his head at Mason to motion for them to leave the mother and daughter alone. Maggie didn’t seem to notice their departure and fidgeted with her hands.
“I don’t even know where to start” Maggie said.
“How about from the start” Chelsea said as she tentatively reached out for her Mum’s hand.
She felt Maggie stiffen and then gently lace her fingers with Chelsea’s. Maggie sighed and flopped back into the seat. Chelsea continued to hold Maggie’s hand as she leant back into her chair.
“Your fa.. Carl, was never a good man. He was always into something. I didn’t know he would ever do anything like that to you. He had never ever said anything about little girls, so I thought you were safe” Maggie said as her voice hitched.
Chelsea rubbed her thumb on Maggie’s palm, she didn’t want to dwell on what Carl had done to her; she wanted Maggie to move on to the part as to why she left. Maggie cleared her throat again and leaned her head back, wiping at her tears with her free hand.
“He dabbled in drugs in and out, dealing here and there. Anyway he was dealing and sold a bad batch and a young kid died, the kid’s friend told the cops who they bought the drugs from and they came to arrest Carl.” Maggie said. “He told the police that it was me that was dealing. He told me that if I took the blame the courts would take it easy on me”
Maggie shook her head and scoffed.
“Easy? I got ten years.” she said with a sniff.
“So you were in jail?” Chelsea said as she started to feel impatient with her mother not getting to the point.
Maggie turned to look at her and nodded her head.
“All because of that man.” she replied.
Chelsea shook her head as she did the math in her head, ten years meant that Maggie had been free for two years and yet Chelsea had never heard a single word.
“But you have been out two years, why didn’t you ever come and find me?” Chelsea asked feeling that surge of anger rise in her again.
“Carl had contact with me the whole time I was in prison, he made me feel like the biggest piece of shit. He had me believing that it was me dealing. He was such a manipulative son of a bitch” Maggie said with anger threaded through her voice.
She ran her hand through her hair and stared off into the fire that continued to roar in front of them.
“Anyway, just before I was to come out, he told me that he had told you I was dead and that he didn’t want to disrupt you. He told me that you were doing really well and it would be better if I stayed away.” Maggie said with a sob “If I knew why he really wanted me to stay away I would have been there in a shot”
She lowered her head and Chelsea saw her shoulders begin to shake under the weight of her tears. Chelsea didn’t know how to feel or react. Her mother had been manipulated and abused at the hands of her father also. He had tricked her into not coming back. Chelsea took her hand out of Maggies and ran her hands through her hair. Chelsea shook her head and sighed.
“I just don’t know what to do. Knox said that he lied to the police, but there is no way in hell I’m going back there” Chelsea said.
Maggie snapped her head up and shook it ferociously.
“No way. I won’t let you go back. If you want you can come stay with me. I don’t have a lot. But I would like the opportunity to get to know you” Maggie said quietly, her voice hopeful.
Chelsea nodded.
“I don’t know what to do. I d
on’t have anywhere else to go” she said as a tear dribbled its way down her cheek.
Maggie reached out for Chelsea’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Think it over. I know that Knox will let you stay here for a while and I think you’re not going to be able to shake Mason anytime soon” Maggie said with a nod of her head.
Chelsea turned to where Maggie nodded to see Mason standing in the doorway watching intently. Chelsea couldn’t help but smile. It was the first time that anyone had protected her. It was just a shame it had to come so late. Chelsea turned back to her Mum and gave her a genuine smile.
“I’m sorry that I yelled and swore at you” she said.
Maggie smiled and patted Chelsea’s hand.
“Don’t get upset about it. To be truthful I deserved it. I should never have listened to him and came to find you. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did” Maggie said hiccupping a sob.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore” Chelsea said staring off into the fire.
She felt like all she had done was talk about what had happened to her and after keeping it a secret for so many years it felt uncomfortable and she just wanted to ignore it.
“I understand. Just know that I am here to talk to if you need” Maggie said as she stood from the chair.
Chelsea stood beside her and looked at her mother. As they stood beside the warm fire, Chelsea began to see the woman that she remembered. The way her eyes sparkled and danced; the same green eye’s that Chelsea had. Her hair dark under the heavy bleach, the slight frame, the tender smile, Chelsea’s heart skipped a beat as recognition finally hit her. She couldn’t control herself as she pulled her Mum into an embrace. Maggie stiffened as Chelsea wrapped her arms around her shoulders, but soon softened and fell into the hug. The two women stood like that for a long time soaking up each other’s warmth, sorrow and recognition. Maggie slowly pulled away and held Chelsea’s hand.
“I’m going to go, Knox is going to take you to the house to get you some of your things tonight; Carl is still in the hospital so you will be safe.” Maggie said “Get everything you can, just leave what you think you won’t need again, because I don’t want you to go back there once he is home”
Chelsea nodded and squeezed her mother’s hand. She didn’t want to go back to the house, but she couldn’t wear Kelly’s clothes forever, Kelly who she didn’t even know and Chelsea needed her books and bag for school.
“Chelsea, I love you. I know you probably don’t believe that, hell I wouldn’t believe it. But one day, I hope that I can show you that I love you” Maggie said. “I will ring you tomorrow to see how you got on”
Chelsea smiled and nodded. She was right, Chelsea didn’t believe that she loved her. She didn’t know what love was. Carl called what he did love. That wasn’t love. But she could appreciate the sentiment. Chelsea watched as Maggie disappeared through the gate and appreciated the warmth of Mason’s arms snaking around her waist. She leant back into his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her on the head and they stood together soaking up the warmth of the fire for a long time.
Chelsea couldn’t stop yawning, with a mixture of everything that had happened that day and the warmth of the fire.
“You tired?” Mason murmured in her ear.
Chelsea nodded and closed her eyes. She turned suddenly realising she had nothing to sleep in. Mason frowned trying to read her face.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I have no pyjamas” she said.
Mason gave her that crooked smile that she remembered from her primary school days with him.
“I’ll get Dad and we will take you back to the house to get your things” he said leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead.
Chelsea smiled and followed Mason inside the house to find Knox sitting in the living room with the television silent and the football on. All the other men that had once been there were now gone, Chelsea hadn’t even noticed them leaving. Knox had his eyes closed and his breathing was steady. Chelsea thought he might have been asleep but when they came into the room he opened his eyes and gave her the same crooked smile that Mason gave her. She was quickly growing to like seeing that smile.
“Wanna go get your things?” he asked peeling himself from the chair with a groan.
“Yes please. But only if it’s not any trouble” she said, concerned at how much he was already doing for her.
“It’s not trouble” Knox said ruffling her hair as he went past her to get his keys off the hook beside the door.
Chapter Four
Chelsea could feel her panic gripping her throat as they reached the house that she had shared with her Father. There was no sign that anything had happened at all. Chelsea didn’t know what she expected, police tape or some sign that a crime was committed, but from the outside it looked like it always did, a small urban house tucked behind a neatly manicured lawn with a few ornamental plants dotted around. From the outside no one would have guessed the horrors that took place inside. Chelsea took in a deep breath and unlocked the front door, it was completely silent and she was sure that Mason and Knox would be able to hear her heart knocking.
As soon as she stepped into the front entrance the coppery smell of dried blood hit her nostrils. Knox pushed past her and stepped into the living room, flicking the light on which illuminated the room with a sudden bright spark. She heard Mason suck in a sharp breath as they saw the carpet on the living room floor stained in a brown crusty colour of her father’s blood. Knox turned and blocked the doorway.
“Mason go and take her to get her things. Chelsea, get everything, if there is anything left we will leave it here. You won’t be coming back” Knox said, nodding his head toward the other rooms.
Mason took Chelsea’s hand and she followed turning her head to look over her shoulder at the blood that seemed to encompass the entire living room. She felt like she was in a daze as she grabbed clothes, books, her school bag and art supplies.
“Are you doing alright Chelsea?” Mason asked as he sat on her bed watching her bustle around.
Chelsea stopped and gave him a slight nod before shaking her head with the truth.
“I’m scared Mason. I’m scared that everyone is going to know that I’m not just the art emo freak on the verge of suicide but I’m the art emo freak who sucked her father’s cock” she said dropping her head.
Mason sucked in a sharp breath again at the bluntness of her words. He stood and put his hands on her shoulders.
“Chelsea look at me” Mason said as she raised her eyes to meet his. “I will not be telling anyone. This is your story and not mine to tell. But please don’t say things like that. He made you do all that stuff to him. You didn’t do it willingly.”
Chelsea nodded and dropped her eyes again. She was questioning herself. Had he made her do it? Why hadn’t she run away sooner? Why stay? He said she liked it, he said she wanted it, could it be true? Why else would she have never stopped him? Chelsea felt her stomach turn as the bile crept its way up her throat again. She shook her head. Mason was right, she hadn’t wanted to do those things.
“Chelsea where would you have run to? Where would you have gone? You didn’t know where your mother was, you had no one and if you did run then you would have to tell your story. You were stuck here. You didn’t ask him to do this to you. I can see that much in your face Chelsea. Don’t let him win this battle too” Mason said.
Chelsea looked up at him and sighed before nodding and turning to gather up her art book and journal. She turned to her desk and saw the picture of her mother that she kept there to remind her of the good days. The days before her mother left her. Well before her mother ended up in jail taking blame for that awful man. Chelsea sighed again and took hold of the picture, noticing the small notebook it sat on. From the time that Chelsea was old enough to write she had kept a small notebook writing out prayers to her mother, prayers to be rescued. Every time Carl touched her or made her touch him, she
would write with tears flowing down her cheeks a prayer begging for help. The pages were filled with desperate screams for some God to help her. The only God that brought her assistance came in the form of a cold metal pistol.
Chelsea picked up the book and opened the draw revealing the pile of other notebooks that contained her prayers.
“Will the fire be still going when we get back?” she asked over her shoulder to Mason.
Mason came to her side and nodded. Chelsea smiled and picked up the pile of books. She needed to end this chapter and start her day of healing.
“It’s over now isn’t it Mason?” she said searching his face for reassurance.
Mason put his arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.
“Yep it’s over, he won’t and can’t hurt you anymore. I’ll make sure of that” Mason replied as he rested his head on hers.
Chelsea sighed and leaned into him. There was a sense of relief. Although she knew that her life wouldn’t be all roses and she knew that there was a good chance that Carl would find a way to hurt her again, at least for now, this nightmare she was waking from and that bought a sense of lightness that she had never felt before.
“How are you two getting on?” Knox asked from behind them.
Mason and Chelsea turned to see Knox standing in her bedroom door, she looked around at the small amount of possessions she had and sighed.
“I think I’ve got everything, well I’ve got everything important” Chelsea said.
Knox nodded and stepped into the room grabbing her bag full of clothes. Chelsea gathered up the notebooks and picture of her Mum following Knox out the door. She refused to look in the living room as they went to the front door and as she locked the house, she took a deep breath. The first breath of her new life.
