But sure enough, that's exactly where they were.
Unfortunately, what they told me after I knocked on the door didn't make me feel any less crazy.
Chapter 32
Standing inside the camper, I looked from brother to brother. "He said what?"
They were sitting on opposite sides of a narrow booth that might seat four, if the four people didn't mind squashing in next to each other.
Considering that I hardly knew these guys, I'd already declined their offer to sit. Instead, I was standing at the end of the booth, trying to make sense of everything they'd just told me.
At my request, Anthony repeated his last sentence. "He said that if anything happens, he's gonna kick our asses."
I gave Anthony a perplexed look. "If anything happens? Like what?"
Anthony shrugged. "He didn't say."
I wasn't buying it. For some reason, I just couldn't see Joel threatening these guys, unless – maybe it was some sort of inside joke? I asked, "Was he serious?"
Anthony gave it some thought. "Maybe. Hard to say."
I studied his face. "You don't look too concerned."
"Eh, we're used to it."
"Used to what?" I asked. "Being threatened?"
"Or whatever." Suddenly, he reached out and slapped the tabletop. "Wait a minute. That wasn't it."
Startled, I gave a little jump. "What?"
"What Joel said was that if some lawyer showed up, we should kick his ass." He paused, as if thinking. "Some guy named Dirk?"
I wanted to groan out loud. The last thing I wanted was more drama. Reluctantly, I said, "I think he meant Derek."
"Yeah, that's it."
I gave the two brothers a good, long look. They didn't look like fighters, but they didn't look soft either. In truth, I wasn't sure that Derek could handle either one of them, much less both.
But that wasn't the point. The last thing I wanted was a fist-fight on the front lawn.
Hoping to head off trouble, I summoned up what I hoped was a smile. "I'm sure it was just a joke."
Anthony gave me a dubious look. "You think?"
I kept my smile plastered in place. "Definitely."
Across the table, the two brothers shared a look. It was Steve who said, "The aunt and uncle – was that a joke, too?"
Damn it. I knew exactly who he meant. My Uncle Ernie and Aunt Vivian, who had who had this annoying tendency to show up and swipe my stuff when I wasn't home. In a carefully neutral voice, I said, "What about my aunt and uncle?"
"Yeah," Steve said. "What about them?"
I felt my jaw clench. "That's what I'm trying to find out."
"Yeah," Steve said. "Me, too."
It was enough to give me a headache. "So Joel mentioned them, too?"
"Hell if I know," Steve said. "I didn't talk to him."
I turned and gave Anthony a questioning look.
He said, "Hey, that was like a half-hour ago."
"So?"
"So I didn't take notes or nothing."
I looked back to Steve and said, "But you were the one who mentioned it. So you remember, right?"
He gave me a look. "You see a pen and paper?"
I glanced around. Inside the trailer, I saw piles of dirty laundry, a few discarded pizza boxes, and some crushed beer cans in the far corner. Unless it was buried under the clutter, there was no pen and paper. Grudgingly, I said, "No."
Steve said, "Well, there you go."
Yes. There I went.
Across from him, Anthony said, "Oh, and there was something about Jake."
I tensed. "What about him?"
"If he shows up, we're supposed to call Joel and tell him."
"Why?" I asked.
Anthony stroked his chin as if thinking. "Maybe that's where the ass-kicking comes in."
I looked from brother to brother. I had the distinct impression that they were giving me the runaround. I felt my gaze narrow. "Did he say anything else?"
"Oh yeah," Anthony said. "I was supposed to tell you that something came up, and he'd call you later."
Oh, that was nice. So much for calling and calling until I answered. I asked, "Did he say when?"
"Yeah," Anthony said. "Later."
Well, that was informative.
Unsure what to do next, I glanced around the trailer, trying to see through the clutter. When I turned to look behind me, I saw a lower and upper bunk, covered with a mess of blankets and pillows, along with more dirty laundry.
Or who knows? Maybe the laundry was clean.
Think positive, right?
I asked, "Is this where you plan on staying?"
"Sure," Steve said, "unless you got someplace better."
My house was huge, and they were the brothers of someone I might call a friend, in a new-acquaintance sort of way. But inviting them to sleep in the house seemed a bit premature.
Thinking out loud, I murmured, "Well, there's always the guest house."
In some ways, it wasn't even mine to offer. After all, it was still filled with all of Joel's things. And yet, I was absolutely certain that, if given the choice, Joel would point them to the guest house long before he'd send them into my house for a sleepover.
Or who knows? Maybe he wouldn't care either way. For all I knew, he wasn't even coming back.
Chapter 33
I spent the next two days on pins and needles, waiting for a call that never came. And with every passing hour, the more I kept telling myself that I didn't want to hear from him anyway.
Seriously, who did he think he was?
The only upside was that the brothers were proving to be a good distraction, if only because they were making me crazy. They had serious boundary issues, and although they were staying in the guest house, they were constantly in and out of my kitchen, where they made themselves utterly at home.
Already, they'd gone to the other side of the state to retrieve their backhoe and were now tackling my sewer problem, just like they'd promised.
After watching them work, I had to give them credit. They actually seemed to know what they were doing. They'd found the problem, which, oddly enough, was Derek's fault in a roundabout way, and were now in the process of fixing it.
During the first couple of days after their arrival, I'd made it a point to stay close to the house. But today, I'd had a job interview in a neighboring city and had been tied up for nearly three hours.
Plus, I'd somehow managed to let the brothers talk me into stopping for beer and takeout pizza on the way back. Between that and a few other errands, it was already dark by the time I was finally heading home.
I was just a few miles from my house when my cell phone rang. I reached for it and gave the display a quick glance, only to feel that familiar – and yes, pathetic – disappointment. It wasn't a certain guy who I didn't want to talk to anyway. It was Aunt Vivian, my least-favorite relative.
She almost never called me, and on the rare occasions when she did, it was never for anything good. As it turned out, this time was no exception.
I'd barely said hello when the shrieking started. I couldn’t understand a single word, but it was pretty obvious that something was terribly wrong. Desperate to make out what she was saying, I pulled my car off to the side of the road and cut the engine.
When she paused for air, I said, "Excuse me? What'd you say?"
This time, my aunt's voice came through loud and clear. "I said, they turned the hose on me!"
"What?" I gave a confused shake of my head. "Who?"
She sounded nearly unhinged. "You put them up to it, didn't you?"
My mind was going a million miles a minute. They wouldn’t. Would they? I chewed on my lower lip. "Uh…"
"Aha!" she yelled. "I knew it!"
In the background, my uncle said, "Go on. Tell her about my hair."
My aunt replied, "For the last time, forget your hair! What about my hair!"
My uncle muttered, "Well, at least yours is still attached."
What on Earth did that mean
? I was still trying to figure it out when my aunt returned to the phone and hollered, "So I hope you're satisfied!"
And with that, she hung up.
I sat there in my quiet car for a long moment, asking myself an odd question. Was I satisfied?
A sudden snicker escaped my lips, and I gave a little gasp. Oh, my God. I was, even if I wasn't quite sure what had happened.
Did that make me a horrible person?
I was still trying to decide when I pulled into my driveway a few minutes later. Outside the house, I saw no sign of the brothers, but I did see the garden hose rolled out to its full length. Slowly, I got out of the car and confirmed that yup, sure enough, the porch was dripping wet.
When I walked in through the front door a minute later, Steve and Anthony were waiting in the foyer.
Steve said, "Hey, you just missed your aunt."
Anthony snickered. "Yeah, but we didn't." He stopped and looked down at my empty hands. "Hey, where's the pizza?" He was frowning now. "You didn't eat it in the car, did you?"
Funny, in all the excitement, I'd neglected to bring it in. "Forget the pizza," I said. "You didn't really hose down my aunt and uncle, did you?"
The two brothers exchanged a look. It was Steve who said, "Let's say we did. Were we not supposed to? Because if that was some sort of rule, you should've told us."
"Yeah," Anthony said. "And besides, it's not like we didn't warn them."
They went on to tell me that my aunt and uncle had tried to barge into the house, in spite of being told it was off-limits. My aunt, with her usual charm, had claimed she wasn't about to be deterred by a couple of two-bit flunkies who weren't even related.
Continuing the story, Anthony said, "which made her look like a giant dumb-ass, because we're brothers, you know?"
I hesitated. "I think she meant related to me."
"Eh, whatever," Anthony said. "Anyway, we told 'em, you try it, and you'll get the hose."
I was almost afraid to ask. "So then what happened?"
He grinned. "Guess."
I cleared my throat. "They, uh, tried it?"
He was still grinning. "You got it."
By now, I almost didn't know what to say. We were still standing in the foyer. I looked from brother to brother. "So you turned the hose on them? Just like that?"
Steve gave me a look. "Well, yeah. Once you threaten it, you gotta do it, you know?"
Funny, I didn't know, at least not from experience, but it made a weird kind of sense.
"Yeah," Anthony agreed. "If you don't, they won't believe you the next time."
"By the way," Steve said, "someone dropped off a cake."
"Who?" I asked.
"Some chick. I didn't get her name."
I could think of only one person who might drop off a dessert. Cassie. I gave Steve a worried look. "You didn't turn the hose on her, did you?"
"Hell no," Steve said. "Jeez. What? You think we're stupid?"
I held up my hands. "Sorry."
"You should be." He made a scoffing sound. "No way we'd ruin a cake."
I stared at him. Was that a joke? From the look on his face, I couldn’t be sure either way.
When I looked to Anthony, he said, "Yeah. You get it wet, you gotta eat it with a spoon. Totally sucks."
Steve said, "And if it gets too wet, you gotta pull out a straw."
I felt my gaze narrow. "Where's the cake now?"
Steve flicked his head toward the kitchen. "The counter near the fridge."
While I made my way toward the kitchen, the brothers headed outside to retrieve the pizza and groceries from my car.
When they returned five minutes later, I was still staring at the cake. I had to ask, "Where's the rest of it?"
"Where do you think?" Steve said. "We ate it."
The cake had definitely come from Cassie. Even if I hadn't guessed already, the box with her shop's logo would've been a dead giveaway. As far as the cake itself, it was chocolate with white frosting. It looked absolutely delicious – well, what was left of it, that is.
It was even decorated. Along the top was a message, written in fancy purple icing. But with half of the cake missing, I wasn't sure what it was supposed to say. I read the remaining part out loud. "I'm so…?"
"Hungry," Steve said, opening the nearest pizza box.
I turned to him and demanded, "How can you be hungry? You just ate half a cake."
"I did not," he said. "I ate a quarter of it. Big difference. Jeez."
When I looked to Anthony, he pointed to the cake and said, "I'm sorry."
I sighed. "That's alright. It's not like I would've eaten the whole thing anyway."
"No," Anthony said. "What I mean is, that's what the cake said. I'm sorry." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. I took a picture, in case you wanted to see."
Well, that was thoughtful. I guess.
As I watched, he started scrolling through the images on his phone.
Watching, I said, "Wait! What's that?"
He looked down at his phone. "This? It's your aunt and uncle."
"Well, obviously," I said, staring down at the image. My uncle was stocky with thick red hair, while my aunt was thin and ferret-faced, with a look of perpetual annoyance.
In the photo, both of them were impeccably dressed as usual. He was wearing a suit and tie, while she was wearing a formal black dress with long, lacy sleeves and a big, poofy skirt. They were both standing on my porch, glaring at the camera. But at least, they were dry.
When I looked to Anthony, he grinned. "That's the before picture."
As I watched, he scrolled to the next image. In this one, my aunt and uncle were utterly drenched. My aunt's mouth was wide open, like the photo had caught her in mid-screech. As for my uncle, he looked mostly confused and – now this was weird – bald.
I felt my brow wrinkle in confusion. "He wears a toupee?"
Anthony snickered. "Not anymore."
With a mouthful of pizza, Steve added, "But I think he found it in the bushes."
I didn't know whether to yell at them or congratulate them on their aim. It was awful and oddly pleasing all at the same time. I decided to think about that later.
I asked, "But what about the cake photo? You said you had one?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, almost forgot." Anthony scrolled to the next image, and there it was – the cake in all its uneaten glory.
Not only did it say, "I'm sorry." It also had one painful word written in big, bold letters on the bottom with multiple exclamation points.
That word was, "Congrats."
I felt a sad smile tug at my lips. After all, it was the thought that counted, right?
Chapter 34
Cassie stared at me from across the small table. "So you're broken up?"
It was the morning after she'd dropped off the cake, and we were sitting in the front room of her cookie shop. On the way over here, I'd picked up two lattes, along with a couple of frosted cinnamon rolls, which neither one of us were eating – me, because I wasn't hungry and Cassie, because she'd been too engrossed in my latest tale of woe.
Last night, rather than telling Cassie the story over the phone, I'd suggested meeting for coffee before her shop opened.
As far as her question – whether Joel and I were broken up – I didn't even know how to answer. "Honestly, I’m not sure. I guess so. I mean, I don't think we're exactly together."
Probably, this was a massive understatement. It had been four whole days since that one short phone call, and he never did call me back. As far as me calling him, I'd resisted, in spite of some pretty strong urges otherwise.
As miserable as I was, I was actually pretty proud of myself.
Across from me, Cassie still looked stunned. "Seriously? So you're not engaged anymore?"
"Actually, I don't think we ever were." I sighed. "After all, it wasn't a real engagement. It was more of an obligation thing, on his part, I mean."
It hurt to say, but at some point,
I had to accept reality and move on.
But Cassie was shaking her head. "You don't know that for sure."
It was a nice sentiment, and I tried to smile. "If you want to say it, I'll totally understand."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Say what?"
"I told you so."
"Why would I say that?"
"Because you tried to warn me." At her blank look, I said, "You know. That I'd be crying before it was over?"
"Oh, that?" She winced. "Forget I said that, okay? I was totally wrong."
"You were not," I said. "You called it perfectly." In truth, I had been crying, more than I cared to admit. Happily, this was mostly at night, when I didn't have an audience.
Across from me, Cassie looked anything but smug. "Listen, there's something I've got to tell you."
"What?" I asked.
"There's a reason I was so crabby that day." She glanced away and let out a long, shaky breath. "It was Angelina the Skank. I ran into her just that morning, and she told me something that set me off."
"Really? What?"
Cassie hesitated. "Okay, before I tell you, I want you to know something. What she told me, it wasn't true. I'm absolutely sure of it."
Now, I was getting nervous. "What's not true?"
"Well, according to Angelina, she and Joel hooked up like five minutes after you two broke up."
True or not, my stomach clenched. "When?" I asked. "You mean like a few days ago?"
"No. A few weeks ago. After that whole moving-truck fiasco."
"Oh. Right." Based on the timing, I should've been able to figure that out for myself.
Cassie continued. "Anyway, the way Angelina tells it, Joel was on his way out of town and stopped at that gas station off the highway." Cassie paused, as if afraid to continue.
"And…?" I prompted.
"And Angelina happened to be there. And she, uh, hitched a ride to Detroit with him."
My gaze narrowed. "What kind of ride?"
"Well, it wasn't the kind that Angelina claimed."
"How do you know?"
"Because after you and I talked, I asked around."
"And…?"
"And I learned that he did give her a ride, I mean in his car, but it only lasted like two miles."
I felt my brow wrinkle. "What happened after two miles?"
Something True (Joel Bishop Book 2) Page 13
