Consumed

by Leslie Sansom

  Consumed

  Leslie Sansom

  Keeping Her in the Dark – Vol. Two

  Copyright 2014

  Leslie Sansom

  Keeping Her in the Dark – Vol. Two

  All rights reserved.

  Formatting by: Tugboat Design

  And the darkness continues

  Consumed

  Prologue

  I’ve read that lions like to hunt during the coolest hour of the night. They are patient hunters and hide behind tall grass and shrubs waiting for the perfect time to strike. The lioness usually goes for the throat of her prey to suffocate it and prevent the victim from scrambling to his feet. While clutching the throat of her victim it is said she can often look at him right in the eye, before crushing his throat with her powerful jaws. Even with this knowledge, I wrote the email.

  I knew without a shadow of a doubt that when she received the boxes of clothes, books, and personal items there would be no need for an explanation. But I wrote the email anyway. I knew that she would open the boxes, go through the clothes, and flip through the books and know I boxed them up.

  Actually she would look at them knowing I had someone else box them up. She would know I couldn’t stand to have them in my house anymore. But I wrote and sent the email anyway.

  I had the clothes cleaned many times and they still smelled like her. Several of the books had folded pages or bookmarks still marking her place. The antique silver brush she bought at a flea market still has a few of her hairs in the bristles. The matching mirror still holds her reflection. No matter how many times I look in it, I only see her face. She is everywhere and in everything, but I sent the email anyway.

  She has no reason to forgive me, and I have no defense in my asking. None of the circumstances for my doing what needed to be done have changed, but I sent the email anyway.

  She is the lioness to my gazelle. She holds my throat in her mouth and her claw on my heart. It is the coldest hour of the night, and her teeth could crush my throat at any moment, but I sent the email anyway.

  Chapter One

  Liam

  November

  From: Liam Hastings (LJHastings@gmail.com) November 4

  To: Norah Chandler (littlebutterfly@gmail.com)

  Norah,

  In a few days you will receive several boxes containing your belongings. Please let me know if I have forgotten anything.

  I don’t know what else to say.

  I miss you,

  Liam Hastings

  I checked my email relentlessly for a week, but she never responded. I didn’t really expect her to. I didn’t even know if I wanted her to respond. I guess I just wanted to know that she was alright. I knew I had made the right decision last month about our relationship, but it didn’t make it any easier. I missed her. I sent another email at the end of November and still got no reply. I let some more time pass and tried again.

  December

  From: Liam Hastings (LJHastings@gmail.com)December 17

  To: Norah Chandler (littlebutterfly@gmail.com)

  Norah,

  Christmas is approaching and while I was window shopping I saw something that reminded me of you, so you will again receive another package from me.

  I hope you and your family are well and you are adjusting back to your life in the states seamlessly.

  The house is quiet, except for when Sophia brings her daughter to work with her of course. She is growing very fast.

  Merry Christmas and May the New Year bring you all you deserve.

  I miss you,

  Liam Hastings

  Again, days went by without a response. I sent two more emails about nothing in particular, but heard nothing back. Christmas came and went without a word. I did receive my present back marked ‘Return to Sender’. The New Year came in, in both my country and hers, and still not a word.

  I wasn’t sure if I should keep trying or just let it go. I had been the one to turn her away after all. I had been the one to leave her behind. I knew I should stop trying to contact her for now and let more time pass, but I couldn’t. I needed to hear from her, no matter what she had to say to me. I wanted to know if she was alright, if she hated me, if she had moved on, or was as depressed and miserable as I was. Chit chat was never something I had been able to do. And patience was something I did not have, not when it came to her.

  January

  I sent five emails in January alone. I told her about two companies I was buying, redecorating some rooms in the house, a fire in one of my guest houses, and selling one of my horses, but I never heard anything back from her. I had sent ten emails and gotten nothing in return. I knew she was getting them. I knew she was reading them, I could feel it. Why wouldn’t she respond even if it was just to tell me to fuck off?

  February

  My depression and sadness changed to denial. I didn’t need her anymore, and I didn’t want her anymore. There were more fish in the sea and I had to focus on something that mattered. I threw myself into my work. I arrived at the office before 7am every morning, and stayed until after 7pm most nights. I went to dinner parties, talked with people, had drinks, attended banquets and tried my best not to think of Norah. Will and I started talking again, although I still had not forgiven him.

  He even took me to our favorite sex club in Amsterdam. But nothing and no one interested me. In spite of my new found attitude, I still sent her four emails. None to which she replied.

  In the middle of February I received an invitation from Mr. Stackhouse to attend the wedding of his daughter Rebecca to a young man named William Tyler. The wedding was scheduled for mid-March. My first thought was of Norah. I had closed the deal with Mr. Stackhouse because of her, and she and Rebecca had become very chummy at the dinner celebration. I hoped I would be out of this somber mood by the time the wedding came around. I wasn’t as upset anymore, I was beginning to get mad.

  March

  From: Liam Hastings (LJHastings@gmail.com) March 2

  To: Norah Chandler (littlebutterfly@gmail.com)

  Norah,

  I don’t know why you can’t send me an email to let me know you are ok. Just because we cannot be together doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I would still like to know that the world is treating you well and you are happy.

  Please respond. I miss you, Liam Hastings

  Finally after so many unanswered emails, after so long without a word……she responded.

  From: Norah Chandler (littlebutterfly@gmail.com) March 2

  To: Liam Hastings (LJHastings@gmail.com)

  Mr. Hastings,

  I am responding as per your request.

  I am fine and happy. Then I get one of your emails and my world falls apart again and I am back to ground zero.

  I am trying to move on with my life, but find it very hard when my past won’t leave me alone.

  You have asked me to respond and I have complied. Now I have a request. Stop emailing me. You made your feelings very clear and I am tired of being reminded of them. I am glad you are doing well but we are not friends and I do not need or want updates on your life. Please leave me alone.

  Norah

  That wasn’t the response I wanted. I didn’t know what I wanted, but that wasn’t it. I read and re-read it several times. I wasn’t depressed or even in denial anymore. I knew without a doubt in my mind, I wanted Norah back. I paced my office thinking of how stupid I had been to talk myself out of wanting her. I sat down and read her email again.

  It pissed me off. It more than pissed me off. It infuriated me. Norah was mine, dammit! All mine! I didn’t know why I ever thought any different. I stood up and paced some more. She was mine and I was hers, and if she thought that sending me this email was going to change that, she was wrong!

  Once again,
I had made the mistake of being too nice. I made the mistake of letting Norah make decisions for herself, hoping she would come to the right one.

  This whole time, sending these emails, I was trying in my own way to win her back. But I was being too nice, too casual. I needed to take control, show her who was boss again. The distance between us was giving her the impression that she wasn’t mine any longer, I needed to change that for both our sakes. This was me, the real me. I loved Norah and we belonged together at any cost. I had to make her see that. I meant what I said in October, I would never be able to look at her and not think of her as mine. She was mine. Her heart, her soul, her mind, her body, that sassy mouth, it all belonged to me. I wasn’t upset or even stressed. I was angry at myself for not being myself, for hiding my feelings from her and myself.

  I had to get her back no matter what. Now I knew what I wanted, I had confidence, anger and passion on my side. Now I just had to figure out how to do it.

  Norah

  I hit send on my email and slammed my lap top shut. I put my head down and cried. I cried again, just as I had after I read every email he sent. But this time I cried harder. I couldn’t do this anymore. If he didn’t want me in his life then he needed to stop disrupting mine!

  “Norah, what’s wrong?” Tiffany asked as she walked in my room and sat on my bed. “Did you get another email?” I looked up at her and nodded my head. “Why don’t you email him back? He obviously wants you back he just doesn’t know how to admit he was wrong. You said women flocked to him naturally, right? So if he isn’t used to having to woo women, then he doesn’t know how to make up either.” She rubbed my hands over the computer. “I did email him back this time. But I told him to stop emailing me.”

  “What? Why? Norah, you still love him, I know it. I hear you crying over him all the time. You have never said what really happened between you two accept that he didn’t want you to leave your family. You’ve been walking around in a fog for almost four months. If this is what you want, no one will think less of you if you go back to him.” I wiped the tears off my face. She was right, I was in a fog.

  I moped around for two months, then got a job at Applebee’s as a waitress to shut everyone up. But I was still in a fog. I couldn’t clear my head. I didn’t want to work, drive, be with friends, hang out with my sisters, nothing. It was like I wanted someone to tell me what to do. I didn’t know how to handle my life anymore.

  “If you don’t want him back at least talk to him. He has this hold over you, I don’t understand it, but he does. Maybe if you talk to him again it will help you move on, Norah.” She was right again. He did have a hold over me. Even after his big speech, I still felt his hold on me. From across the Atlantic, I still felt his tight grip on me.

  Maybe I just wanted to feel it because I didn’t want to let him go. Maybe I just wanted to feel his hold over me, so I could continue to think of myself as belonging to him. I couldn’t make Tiffany understand, she would think I was crazy. Maybe I was crazy. I looked at her with her comforting look on her face and I knew what I had to do.

  “Tiffany?” I hesitated. “I need to tell you something. But you have to promise me what I am about to tell you, will never leave this room.”

  “You have my word, Norah, what is it?” I put the computer to the side and cleared my throat. For the next hour I told her how I had been kidnapped in Paris and trained to be a sex slave. I told her about being put up for auction and Liam buying me for 1.5 million dollars. I told her how he thought it was a voluntary auction and how he was appalled when he found out I had been kidnapped. All true. I left out how he kept me against my will and made me think I was his slave. I left out the part about him training me to be his submissive. I told her he kept me at his home until I recovered from my injuries and we began to have feelings for each other so I stayed longer. Sort of true. I told her he had decided I needed to return to my family instead of staying with him, and that was why I came to her wedding alone.

  I told her he changed his mind and decided he wanted to be with me, and that was why he followed me. Almost true. Then I told her after seeing me with my family, he knew he could not take me away from them again, and left me. True.

  She sat motionless and listened to me talk never once interrupting. She let me go on and on for an hour. When I was done, I sat with my knees pulled to my chest rocking back and forth.

  “Well? Do you understand a little better now?” I asked. “Do you think I’m crazy because I’m in love with a man that bought me?” I waited for her answer. She stood up and started pacing my room. She looked like she was talking to herself, which she sometimes did when she couldn’t figure out a problem. So I let her talk it out for a while. I knew when she organized her thoughts she would talk to me. After a few moments she stopped in front of me and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me like her life depended on it.

  “Tiffany. I’m not going to be able to breathe if you keep squeezing me this hard.” She pulled away and wiped tears from her eyes.

  “I should have never let you go alone. I was a bad friend to you. I abandoned you. If I had been with you this wouldn’t have happened. I would have never let you get in a car with a stranger. If I had been there...” but I couldn’t let her finish.

  The truth was if she was with me she wouldn’t have let me get in the car. But they would have found another way to take us.

  “We both would have been in that auction, Tiffany. I’m glad you weren’t with me, and didn’t have to live through it. This wasn’t your fault, not at all. Don’t even think like that.” I rubbed her arms.

  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’ve been holding this in for so long, I don’t get it. And why didn’t you just come home as soon as you were better? I would think you would want to be as far away from your kidnappers as possible.” We sat back on the bed.

  “Well I was hurt. I had some bruises and other injuries that needed to heal. By the time I was able to fly again, I had feelings for Liam and didn’t want to leave him.” I didn’t like lying to Tiffany. I had told more of the truth to her than I had told anyone, but I couldn’t tell her the complete truth. I couldn’t tell her Liam had kept me against my will. She would be on the phone to the police so fast my head would spin. “I was also a little ashamed and confused.” That part was true. I was ashamed of what had happened to me, and I still blamed myself.

  But I was also ashamed and confused about my feelings for Liam. I knew it was wrong to have feelings for my captor but I did anyway. That was something I couldn’t explain to anyone, not even myself.

  Being with Liam made me feel safe and free, even though he was the one who hurt me and held me captive.

  “Why were you ashamed? You have nothing to be ashamed of, Norah. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She put her hands on the sides of my arms and forced me to look at her.

  “I didn’t want to face you guys. I wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened to me, and I didn’t know if I would ever be ready. I was scared and I didn’t want to act any different around you. Liam made me feel safe and let me heal both my body and my mind. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him. I was confused about those feelings as well. I honestly didn’t know what to do.” That part was true too. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings for Liam. I went from fearing and hating him to needing and wanting him. The part I couldn’t explain to Tiffany was his dominance over me.

  I mean she knew to a certain degree that he had his cave man issues, anyone that saw us together could see that. But she didn’t know that he was a Dominant.

  He wanted to control me, he had rules, punishments, and wanted me to submit to him in everything. The part I really couldn’t explain was that I liked it. He had introduced me to this world I knew absolutely nothing about but felt completely safe and comfortable in it. I wanted to serve him, I wanted him to Dominant me, in the bedroom as well as in my life. I didn’t understand these feelings myself, so I certainly couldn’t explain them to her. Our rela
tionship was a sea of situations and feelings only Liam and I could understand. I knew when he needed me to let him take control, I knew when to shut my mouth and do what he told me to do. I liked it when he became forceful with me, and even deliberately provoked him sometimes. But he knew my limits as well. He knew when to push me and when to back off. He knew when he could control me and when he had to let me make my own decisions. We truly had a give and take relationship. We both gave and took a lot from it.

  I couldn’t even begin to explain it to her. Leaving it the way it was in her mind was enough.

  “Well now I understand the conflict a little better,” she exhaled. We sat in the quiet for a while. She went back to walking around the room and going over her thoughts in her head.

  I leaned back on my bed and turned on my TV. I tried to engross myself in a ridiculous reality show about ‘Swamp People’.

  “Are you sure he really doesn’t want you anymore?” she asked. I muted the TV.

  “That’s what he said in October. He said he didn’t want to look at me for the rest of his life knowing he had bought me. He said it would make him think he owned me.” I paused and walked across the room to grab a blanket off the chair in the corner. “But then he kinda flipped his story and said I belonged here with my family and not with him.”

  “Maybe he just didn’t want to keep you away from your family Norah. Maybe he thinks you’re happier here with them than you would be in London with him.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe.” She sat down on the bed with me again.