by Debra Kayn
"I know." She sighed. "I've been a terrible girlfriend, daughter, and sister. I just spent time with my mom and Hazel, and felt guilty the entire time because I've neglected them."
"How's your sister doing?"
"Okay." She picked up Jerry's hand and played with the watch on his wrist. "I've always thought she was strong, confident, and happy. I grew up wishing I could be more like her. You know what kills me the most about what she's going through?"
"Hm?"
"She's still strong, confident, and happy...on the outside. But I know how hard she's taking the miscarriage. Scott is so wrapped up with his job, he's gone every week, then gets three days off at home, only to be back on the road for another week. Hazel is trying to handle everything herself, and though mom and I are here for her, we're not who she needs." She kissed the back of his hand. "It makes me sad that I can't do more when my sister is hurting."
"It'll take time." He pulled her down onto his chest.
She snuggled in his lap. "I know, but I'm not a patient person. I want everything fixed quickly."
Her thoughts went to Nelson. He'd changed since she'd last seen him—naturally—but he was hurting. He couldn't hide the anger and pain he was going through from her.
"We need to talk about the manager position." Jerry's chest inflated against her. "I need an answer, babe."
She swallowed. Everything came down to money, and she'd be foolish to turn him down.
Chapter 16
Scarlett
LORRAINE AND WENDY worked the floor of the bar while Olivia helped out at the cash register. Scarlett organized the mugs for Jerry behind the counter, feeling a little left out of the social scene happening around her.
While the manager position kept her busier overseeing the servers, dealing with scheduling, call-ins, and ordering the supplies from the many distributers, she missed the interactions with the customers and working for tips.
"You look hot, babe." Jerry squeezed behind her, patting her ass. "Are you coming home with me tonight?"
She nodded, looking to see if the customers nearby heard him. Her worry that the employees would talk about her change in duties and her relationship with Jerry still hung on to the edges of her subconscious.
Jerry had taken her acceptance of the new job exactly like she'd suspected he would and became touchier and more open about their time spent together away from the bar. Almost flaunting that they were together, he seemed to enjoy everyone knowing they were seeing each other away from work.
As much as she tried to whole-heartedly embrace being in a relationship, she became highly aware that there were a lot of obstacles that were in their way, and she needed more time before she committed to only him, and she would step out of the dating scene.
It would probably help if she was actually dating other people, but her love life was sadly lacking. Jerry pressuring her only made her look for excuses on why she wanted to stay single.
That wasn't the way she should feel.
The more aggressive she got to prove the areas that needed work, the more guilt she felt over going slower in building their relationship than Jerry. Maybe her hesitancy came down to a maturity issue because of their age difference or that she was an employee and he was the owner, and her boss.
Jerry had been married before. He had experience with long-term relationships. She'd spent her adult life going on dates, having fun, and having a lot of firsts, with nothing more serious than a two-week whirlwind relationship they were both in agreement on was nothing serious.
"Lorraine...order." Jerry slid the drinks to the end of the counter and then turned at a sudden shift in the volume inside the bar.
Scarlett looked over her shoulder, spotted members of Tarkio coming inside, and said, "I'll help out on the floor."
"You don't—"
"We don't want to get behind. It's Saturday night." She kissed Jerry's cheek to please him and hurried away before he could stop her.
She hoped one of the bikers talked, and she could find out more about Nelson. Jerry wouldn't understand her reasons why she couldn't let Nelson go without finding out more, and it would be impossible to explain her life-long friendship with Nelson without going into why it ended ten years ago.
It was nobody's business, not even Jerry's.
Because the bar served nachos to every table for free and only sold drinks, she followed behind the bikers with two bowls of chips, two cups of melted cheese, and two cups of salsa to get them started. They were typically an easy group of men to serve. Though Jerry always hated them coming in for some reason.
"Does everyone want their regular?" She smiled, looking around the table.
The guys nodded, raised their hand, winked, and crooked their fingers at her. Like she thought, they were easy tonight.
She returned to the bar. "Six mugs of Coors. Two of Rainer. One bottle of Draught Works."
Leaning against the counter, she tried to contain her adrenaline. She couldn't ask one of them outright what was going on with Nelson. She'd need to hang around their tables and act like she was working, all while she eavesdropped on their conversations.
As Jerry poured, she placed the mugs in separate piles. Her hands shook at the heavy load. She'd need to be extra careful carrying the drinks.
"Need help?" Jerry held out a tray.
"I got it." She grinned and walked away with three mugs clasped in each hand.
It took her three trips to pick up the drinks they needed. Once she had everyone served, she said, "Let me know when you need more."
"It looks like we'll need one more." Curley pointed past her. "He'll need a drink."
"Got it." She smiled, turning to catch the other member and found Nelson striding toward her.
Straight toward her.
And, he was pissed.
His eyes narrowed to mere slits. His mouth thinned. He looked rougher than last month. He hadn't shaved, and his whiskers were now a full beard.
He continued walking with no sign of stopping as if he'd plow right into her. She stepped out of his way.
Nelson pulled the chair out at the table where she'd been standing and sat with his back toward her without even acknowledging her. Her tongue stuck to the top of her mouth. Caught in trying to make sense of why he was here and why he wouldn't even say hi to her, she blinked furiously, trying to catch each tear that threatened to fall.
Curley leaned toward Nelson, then straightened and looked at Scarlett. "Another Bud, darling."
Unable to say anything, she nodded and backed away until she accidentally bumped into another customer. Apologizing, she navigated her way to the bar, knowing Jerry would ask her what was wrong.
But Jerry was talking to a woman at the cash register, not paying any attention to her. She inhaled a shuddering breath and hung on to the counter. Woozy, she tried to breathe through the fog surrounding her.
The last person she thought would walk through the door at Riverside was Nelson. Her body warmed, overheated at the realization of why she dragged her feet with Jerry. She knew, without a doubt, deep in her heart, Nelson wouldn't approve of her loving another man.
She'd held out hope that he would return someday, and their friendship would pick up just as it was left when he went to prison. It was an immature wish. So out of reality, but all the same, that's what she'd hoped for when Nelson got out of prison.
Jerry looked in her direction, raising his brows. She pried her tongue off the roof of her mouth. "One Bud."
Could he hear her? Had she spoken?
Jerry reached for a mug. She closed her eyes an extra beat, her eyes burning.
Once she delivered the drink to Nelson, she'd look to Curley for any other orders, then go behind the counter to check the stock and hopefully, they'd be out of something, and she could use that as an excuse to go in the back of the bar, to the storage room, away from everyone until she calmed down.
Jerry brought her the beer. "We need glasses brought out."
"Okay." She walke
d out onto the floor, disappointed that Jerry hadn't noticed her unease and yet glad he wasn't as observant as Nelson—who knew damn well what him being here would do to her.
Had he known she worked here? Had he come to see her? Was he as surprised as her?
She set the beer in front of Nelson. His fingers curled into a fist. She swallowed hard without looking him in the face.
Like planned, she looked up, found Curley, and said, "Yell my name when you're ready for more."
Not even waiting for a reply, she fled. Behind the counter, she took stock of the mugs lined up behind the freezer glass. Knowing it was only half full, she went to the kitchen where Daren, the dishwasher, was pulling out the clean glasses.
"How are you doing, Miss Scarlett?" Daren smiled, showing straight, white teeth.
"I'm hanging in there." She looked around the room. "Do we have enough mugs and skinny tumblers clean?"
"Sure do." Daren pointed to the crates.
"Oh, you're a sweetheart." She grabbed the already packaged glasses and carried the plastic crate behind the counter.
Keeping her back to the room, she carefully stocked the freezer. Something brushed her neck. She jumped. The mug slipped out of her fingers.
Jerry caught the glass and wrapped his arm around her from behind. "Whoa. Careful."
"Y-you startled me." She straightened, pushing away from him, but he tugged her back against him.
"Have you had a break?" He kissed the side of her neck.
She shivered. "I'm good."
"Sure?"
She moistened her lips. "Yes."
He let her go, patting her hip. She reached out and held the handle of the freezer, taking a moment to settle her nerves. For a second, she'd thought it was Nelson behind her, but that was stupid. He showed no sign of wanting her around him.
Knowing she had to turn around and check on how the bikers were doing, she steeled her spine and swiveled.
Nelson glared fire at her. Her heart pounded. She'd done nothing wrong.
He was the one who came into the bar. She worked here.
Nelson shoved back his chair and walked toward her. Her heart pounded. Please, please, don't cause a scene.
He placed a ten-dollar bill on the counter, looked toward Jerry, and then back at her, then he walked toward the front door. She grabbed onto the counter, exhaling loudly, only then realizing she'd held her breath.
Nelson never looked back. Her chest burned, further making the pain of upsetting him go deeper. He knew about Jerry, and he wasn't happy.
"What the hell was that about?" asked Jerry from the end of the bar.
She closed her mouth and shook her head. It was a fine time for him to finally notice what happened around her.
Glancing over at the bikers at the table to see if they too were watching, she found them all in deep conversation, paying no attention to her. She gazed at the spot Nelson had vacated. His mug of beer remained untouched.
Jerry approached her. "Who was that guy?"
"I don't know?" She wasn't lying.
The Nelson she knew had changed to a man who was a stranger to her.
She picked up the money Nelson left and handed it to Jerry. "That's for one mug."
Jerry pocketed the money. "I'll put the rest in with your tips."
"Give it to Wendy. That's normally her table," she blurted. "I, um, can't come to your house tonight."
His arm came around her. "Why not?"
She shrugged away from his touch. "I remembered I promised my mom I would go with her to an appointment in the morning."
"Is she okay?"
"Yeah, yeah..." She waved away his concern, feeling herself digging a deeper hole with her lie. "I'll call you afterward."
Jerry frowned. Conscious of him studying her, she smiled and squeezed his arm. "I need to check on the customers, then take my break."
Her life was spiraling. She had no idea how to make it stop.
Chapter 17
Nelson
A MAN DRIVING A BLACK Ford F-150 pulled up in front of the bay. Nelson waited until the driver's side door opened before walking toward him. He'd had a lot of people use the parking lot as a turnaround since opening, or maybe they chickened out when they saw him and decided to go somewhere else.
As of yet, nobody had the balls to stop and get out.
Nelson stayed in front of the truck. "How can I help you?"
"I was up on Baldy Peak yesterday, and when I came back down, I couldn't get the truck to disengage out of 4-wheel drive. There's also a light on the dash that's staying on, and I don't know what it means." The man held out his hand. "Jeremy Cole."
"Nelson." He shook, purposely leaving off the last name. "What have you tried?"
"A buddy of mine told me to put it in reverse, maybe it'd pop out of gear, but that didn't work." Jeremy rubbed his chin. "I turned it off and on, changed gears, and nothing helped."
Nelson walked over to the front tire and manually turned the hub. Then, he walked to the other side and repeated. "Go ahead and pop the hood."
He climbed up on the bumper, took the screwdriver out of his back pocket, and opened the transfer case. He found the two relays on the side of the engine and removed them. Then, he put each one in their opposite slots.
"Go ahead and turn it on."
The Ford rumbled. He hopped down and walked to the driver's door.
"The light went out." Jeremy leaned out of the way for Nelson to look.
"Go ahead and turn it off." He put the screwdriver back in his pocket. "One of your relays isn't working. I can order you a new one."
"How much does that cost?"
The part was a cheap fix at nine dollars. "Twenty bucks. Bring it back around noon tomorrow, and I'll put it in for you."
"Is it okay to drive home and back with it like that?"
He dipped his chin. "It's in 2-wheel drive now. Just don't try and put it in 4-wheel because it won't work."
Jeremy broke out in a smile. "Thank you, sir. I was worried it would cost me an arm and a leg. It took me a long time to save up for this truck, plus get a loan from my father-in-law. I was worried it would be something major."
He shook Jeremy's hand again and saw him off. A cheap job wouldn't pay the bills. He needed more business, or he wouldn't make it for much longer.
A car slowed down out on the street. He studied the white Chinese vehicle.
The driver's side window rolled down. A young kid stuck his hand up, flipping his middle finger in the air. The passenger yelled, "Killer."
Nelson never flinched when the driver gunned the motor and sped down the street. It wasn't the first or last time he'd hear that particular accusation or be harassed.
Walking back to the garage, his skin prickled. He scanned the area and found Scarlett standing at the corner of the building. By the stiffness of her body, she'd heard what the drive-by gawker had said.
He ground his teeth together. Would she never learn to stay away?
"Can we talk?" She stayed far away from him.
"Nothing to talk about." He went into the garage, letting her take the hint to leave him alone.
At the desk, he picked up the phone and made the call to Napa for the relay needed to fix the customer's truck. Instead of paying the delivery charge, he'd pick the part up before the auto parts store closed tonight.
Sensing Scarlett behind him, he hung up and wrote a note, reminding him of the errand. Not that he had anything else to do, but it kept him from looking at his trespasser.
When she remained in the garage, he said, "Spit it out."
"Why are you mad at me?"
He closed his eyes and inhaled before turning around. "Why are you here?"
"Because you're mad."
"If you don't like it, leave." He looked away from the eyes that had haunted his dreams over the years. "Go back to your husband or boyfriend or whatever the hell he is."
"His name's Jerry."
"I didn't ask for his name." He took in everythi
ng that Jerry had and everything he wanted standing in front of him. "Go home."
Her brows lowered. "Are you mad because of what I said in court all those years ago?"
"All those years ago?" He scoffed.
What seemed like a lifetime ago for her was like yesterday to him. Scarlett was the girl who asked him to teach her how to kiss. She was the girl who trailed behind him as he had a full days' worth of work in the garage. She was the girl who liked to argue with him. She was the girl who held him when his dad beat him within an inch of his life.
Jerry had his life, and he wanted to take it back.
"You shouldn't have been there." He would always regret that there was nothing within his power to change how the attorneys ran the shitshow in court.
"I wanted to help." She stepped forward and grabbed his arm when he tried to back away. "I didn't want you to go to prison."
He stared at her. Her conviction of his innocence pierced his soul. He was no longer that man. Prison gave him enemies, a reputation, and the inability to walk away.
Not once while sitting in the courtroom watching everything he'd worked for and survived fall apart had he ever blamed her. She was the innocent one.
It still amazed him that a child was willing to stand up for him when adults were quick to find him guilty.
"It's in the past." He looked down at her hand on his arm.
Her fingers were slender and stronger. No one had to tell him they were still soft and gentle, able to fix wounds and comfort.
Scarlett's eyes widen. "Can we be friends again?"
"No." He was done with the conversation.
He couldn't take her sneaking back into his life, tormenting him. Nothing could come of them being friends.
She opened her mouth to argue with him. He hooked her neck, bringing her forward and captured her mouth to shut her up.
The hardness of her lips over the shock gave way to softness. He had no time to teach her how to kiss and opened her up, tasting her.
She swayed forward. He slid his hand along her back and crushed her against him. Pleasure gripped his balls, and he took more, and she never denied him.
