She bit her lip, obviously wanting to say yes and being too decent to accept my offer right away. “But what about your event? You’ve been killing it all this season. I can’t take away a chance for you to place.”
I shook my head and grinned. “You won’t. We’re going to win.”
And round after round, she rallied with killer rebuttals and more composure than I’d ever seen from her. I was glad I didn’t have to compete against her. Gigi was a force.
Gigi organized the notes she’d been taking that highlighted the other team’s last rebuttal points. I handed her my counterarguments for review and she scanned through them quickly, starring the ones she felt were the strongest. This was our last chance to make an impression on the judges.
As we’d planned, she opened with a systematic dismantling of the argument our opponents had just made.
“The decriminalization of marijuana at a federal level should be a national priority, despite what our esteemed opponents have stated. The numbers don’t lie. The majority of those incarcerated on drug offenses are persons of color from a lower socioeconomic background. Keeping laws in place that are known to adversely affect specific minorities at a higher ratio is wrong.
“According to a study cited in an article from HuffPost last July, the number of persons detained pretrial for small drug offenses at any given time in the United States is in the tens of thousands. Pretrial means that these people do not have the means to post bail, compounding the economic imbalance and putting additional strain on the households who rely on the financial support of these family members.”
Gigi turned to me, eyes wide with surprise at her own performance. She’d just handed the two guys across the stage their asses, and from their shocked expressions, they knew it. I couldn’t help the smile that stretched the limits of my face. I recovered quickly, glanced at my notes, and picked up where Gigi left off.
“In Colorado, we’ve seen the marijuana industry flourish under decriminalization. The funds raised from taxes on recreational marijuana have gone to support substance-abuse programs and to provide more affordable housing. Other countries have also decriminalized low-level possession of illegal drugs, such as Portugal, which made the move in 2001. Together with learnings at the local level from states like Colorado, and opportunities to leverage practices from the international community, we feel that the US could successfully decriminalize within three years and instead focus on providing more accessible treatment options for those struggling with addiction.”
I sat back, taking a deep breath as our opponents fumbled through their stack of notes. I slyly held my hand out to Gigi under the table and she slapped her palm into mine. The adrenaline firing through me was a different sort of thrill from my Red Court work, but seeing Gigi’s confidence grow with every round was a reward itself.
It occurred to me that Gigi would make one hell of a Red Court member. The thought put a knot in my stomach, and not just because I hoped Gigi would never get involved in the kind of work we did. She could easily be the next Queen of Hearts, too. I needed to stop thinking in terms of who the next leader of the Red Court would be. If all went as planned, there’d never be another Queen of Hearts again.
* * *
I fought my way through the main hall the following Monday in an attempt to make it to the third floor for Lit on time. Unless the crowd magically disappeared, I was going to be late.
“Hey, Ember!”
I turned to see Chase lope toward me, long legs striding easily. It was stunning to watch the sea of students part before him like he was freaking Moses. Popularity probably had other perks, but what I wouldn’t give to be able to move so effortlessly between classes. Being a petite underclassman made getting swept away like a twig caught in the current all too easy.
“Hi!” I worked to keep the wary edge from my voice. I’d already been busted with Chase twice before. There were a lot of eyes trailing him, making another scolding from Haley almost inevitable. Plus, my put-up-with-Chase’s-nonsense meter hadn’t climbed back down from nuclear threat levels after he struck with his origami heart.
Chase arrived at my side with a wide, easy grin. “How are you?”
“Good. How are you?”
See? I could be normal and polite, unaffected even.
But when Chase looked at me, it was like his whole self was attuned to my every move. His gaze wove invisible threads binding us together, if only for the moment. My theoretical pacemaker was probably firing up in preparation for cardiac arrest. Being with Chase was a sharp, exquisite exercise in being alive.
“I bet you’re better than good. I heard that you took first at your last debate meet. Congrats!”
Despite my best effort to quell it, a blush crept up my neck and flushed my cheeks. Gigi and I took first; our impromptu duo shredded the competition in the finals. I’d never been more proud to share the stage with anyone.
“Thank you. People think debate is all BS, but there is a lot of work that goes into it.”
Chase smiled. “I don’t think you’re even capable of BS. When would you find the time?”
A barking laugh escaped my mouth, something between a laugh and a cough. In other words, not cute. My blush deepened, and I thought I might as well go ahead and die here. No time like the present.
“How about you? Do anything interesting this weekend?” I surprised myself with genuine curiosity. What did Chase fill his hours with when he wasn’t plotting against me as my nemesis?
My shoulder collided with his as we bobbed along the corridor. The brief contact sent a jolting thrill through me. I quickly dismissed it as the temptation of forbidden fruit. Chase was off-limits; therefore, it was only natural to be curious about what I couldn’t have. Could I have him? He’d asked me out, but who knew what might have come from that. Probably nothing. For sure nothing.
“I’ve been really busy. My mom’s been traveling for work, so I’ve been on babysitter duty with my sisters.”
Chase grinned self-consciously. Any boy who went through the trouble to win six teddy bears for his sisters had to be the best manny. My own bear held a spot of honor on my nightstand. I could just picture him at high tea with a flower hat. Chase’s sweet sincerity was a departure from our normal games, and it knocked me off my axis. No one was who I expected them to be anymore.
The warning bell rang, reminding me that we had to hustle up to the third floor for class.
“We better get moving. Can’t risk my perfect attendance record.”
Chase stopped me at the base of the stairs, kids parting around us like we were boulders in a stream, and looked at me. “Can I ask you something?”
I looked up the staircase, knowing we were going to have to sprint to make it in time. “Umm, yeah?”
When I turned back to him, I noticed the soft look in his eyes. No one had ever looked at me like that. Nerves struck me like the caffeine aftershocks of a double espresso, leaving me jittery.
Why did this handsome, funny guy make me feel like this? Oh, right. He was handsome and funny. Duh, Ember.
“I know you said you were busy, and I get it. You have more going on than pretty much anyone else I know. But I was hoping we could grab a coffee. I know you like going for coffee after Lit, so maybe we could make a run together sometime.”
Chase nibbled at the corner of his lip. There was no reason for me to spend more time with him. I had been expressly told not to see him. I’d have to come up with an explanation to satisfy Haley, which was about as likely as me becoming besties with Gretchen. But, as the final bell rang, I said, “Yes.”
CHAPTER 25
A PHANTOM BUZZ from my burner phone drew my attention to the special zipped pouch in my bag where I now kept it hidden but still readily accessible. Gideon and I were in the library, at my suggestion. I may have agreed to go for coffee with Chase, but I was in no hurry to sign my own death warra
nt.
Gideon slammed his pen down on the desk in front of me. “I swear to Gosling, Ember, if you check that damn phone one more time when I’m trying to have a conversation with you, I will take it to the chem lab and dissolve it in hydrochloric acid.”
“No, you won’t.”
Gideon could threaten all he liked. The chem lab was the off-hour hangout of his ex, Matthew. He wouldn’t step foot in there if it was the only source of hair products in a fifty-mile radius.
This was the third time today I’d thought I felt the phone vibrate only to be disappointed by continued radio silence from Haley. No jobs meant no progress in learning more. After my close call with Shauna and bizarre run-in with Gretchen the week before, I was back to square one. I felt like I was perpetually stuck in the second phase of my takedown plan.
In the last hour, the grass in front of Heller had been covered in copies of an unfortunate senior’s diary entry that named half of StuCo in a binge-drinking excursion. That it happened at all was a bad look, but the implication that it was bankrolled by the activities department’s petty cash landed the student body president in the principal’s office. A voice in my head whispered that if I’d managed to work faster maybe it wouldn’t have happened. That voice was a jerk. And maybe those kids had it coming.
Every day that passed without any word from the best link I had to the Red Court added to my anxiety. The Red Court’s reach was breathtaking. With so many members’ identities still a mystery, everything I learned still only felt like I was scratching the surface. I had to go deeper, not wider.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t, but it’s no use having you over tonight if you won’t be paying attention to me.”
“What on earth would you do without me to worship at your feet?”
My attention was back on the novel in front of me. I was painfully slogging through The Scarlet Letter. Class reading was typically not a challenge for me. I was a fast reader, and a faster skimmer. Boiling all the words on the page down to a few salient points was a talent of mine. But the thread of The Scarlet Letter continued to elude me; I couldn’t find a corner of the story to hold on to. The notes I’d scribbled were worthless, and I’d taken up most of the page trying to sketch the girl from the carnival. With no other progress in finding the Queen of Hearts, I’d returned to obsessing over the mystery girl from the carnival, but already my memory of her had faded. My brief glimpse of her was already too hazy to do me any good. The only thing I knew for certain was that I did not have a future as a forensic sketch artist. Haley would be infinitely better at this.
“I’d find someone else looking to get a tan from my radiant light.”
I dropped my book and the pretense of reading. “Sometimes, you’re—”
“Utterly charming? Thank you, Ember. You’re forgiven.”
My head fell forward to rest on the library desk. We were tucked away in the far corner, behind the stacks, out of view from most of the kids hanging out in the main section of the library.
“I love you. I really do, but right now I can’t handle all of this.” I emphasized my point with a wave of my hand, sweeping over his entire face.
“What’s eating at you?”
I peeked up at Gideon and was relieved to see he was giving me his concerned face. It was the one he wore when he was really willing to listen and not throw every word back at me with a snarky response.
I looked around, but no other students were nearby. Most of the school was still too occupied with the latest takedown gossip. “This whole thing with the Red Court. I haven’t heard from Haley in a week. I’m not making any progress and I feel like April is pulling away from me.”
I debated for days whether or not to confront April over her secret meeting with Alec. Ultimately, I decided against it. April was saving toward an adapted van with hand controls, so one of my parents would have driven her. If she chose to confide in either of them instead of me, I should respect her decision, even if I really didn’t want to.
Gideon slumped back into his seat, his weariness at the shift in conversation apparent. “You can’t keep doing this.” He paused to gauge my reaction. “Do you think everything you’re doing is what April really wants?”
I shook my head. “She’s made it clear that it isn’t. It’s hard to explain, but she was the one who always looked out for me. After she got her license, she insisted on taking me out with her for her first official ride in the Jetta. Everything she’s gone through—” Tears stung the backs of my eyes, but I pushed them down with every ounce of dignity I had. There would be no crying in the library. “I can’t fix everything, but I can get rid of the Red Court for good,” I choked out when I was sure I could speak without sobbing.
“Maybe that’s true, but do you think it’s worth everything you’re sacrificing? Your soul?”
“I hardly think rigging Homecoming Court and making Alec freaking Hardy pay up on a favor are jeopardizing my place in the afterlife.”
“Really? Homecoming Court was a gateway to bigger, better things for you in the Red Court. Maybe Alec had it coming, dickface that he is, but you were prepared to ruin his life. What’s next?”
I winced. True, I’d made the jump from little league to the majors overnight, but this was how the Red Court worked. Alec made a promise of payment and refused to cooperate when his name was called.
“Sometimes the Favored asks us for things and then don’t like the consequences. What goes around, comes around.”
“Favored? Since when do you talk like them?”
“You’re the one who called me out on not owning this whole messed-up situation!”
A librarian passing by hissed at me to lower my voice. Chagrined, I said quietly, “What am I supposed to do now? Walk away? I can’t. I haven’t come this far not to push for the finish line. And Alec deserved what he got. You didn’t hear the way he talked about April.”
Gideon ignored me and went back to his trigonometry homework. As soon as I reached for my book, he captured my hand and gave it a long squeeze. This small measure of affection and solidarity from him was as comforting as a dozen hugs from anyone else. Thank God for Gideon. I would be lost without him.
I was scared to admit it out loud, but I couldn’t see the line in the sand anymore. If there was a boundary I wouldn’t cross to get what I wanted, I wasn’t sure what it was. And that, more than anything else, terrified me.
* * *
I finally received a text message from Haley just before French at the end of the day.
Haley: ur excused from class
Haley: come meet me
I was tapping out a reply when a third message came through.
Haley: now
My spidey-sense told me Haley knew about Chase. I took my time making my way to the theater room, a dead woman walking. The lights in the performing arts wing were already shut off for the day, shadowing the stairs down to the basement in horror film darkness. For what I thought was about to go down, the whole tableau fit.
The door to the theater room swung open before I lifted a finger to open it. Haley’s sneer welcomed me into the dim room, the emergency light near the exit casting us in shades of blue.
“What are you doing?” she snapped.
After a week of silence, I was in no mood to justify my actions to her. The things she’d done, that I’d done with her, left zero space for moral superiority between us.
“What do you care?”
“I care because what you do reflects on me. We’re a team. We’re supposed to trust each other if no one else.”
How could Haley expect me to trust her when I knew she was lying about the girl from the carnival? She must be important if Haley valued that secret over our partnership. I’d already asked once; I didn’t think I could again without revealing how much I suspected this girl was the Queen of Hearts.
“I don’t want C
hase’s attention. He’s seeking me out. Probably because I shot him down.”
Haley looked shocked. “He asked you out before?”
“Before Homecoming. I blew him off. It doesn’t matter.” I scrambled for purchase in my mind. A safe place where I could tell her something true. “He just asked me to grab coffee with him during my off-hour. It’s not exactly a candlelit dinner. I know you don’t want me drawing attention to myself, but wouldn’t it be more conspicuous if I keep shooting down one of the most high-profile guys at school?”
This hard logic set the gears turning in Haley’s head. I watched as she processed my words, looking for fault, and—with a resigned expression—finding none. Triumph.
I couldn’t resist throwing in another layer of rationale for good measure. “He’ll hang out with me a few times at most before he realizes I’m boring and safe. A guy like Chase wants someone dynamic and exciting. We both know that’s not me, not the good girl everyone knows.”
Finally, Haley nodded. “You’re probably right. He might talk more about you if you turned him down. You go out, he decides you’re not right for him, he moves on. It’s a lot cleaner and far more plausible.”
That she felt so confident about my impending dumping stung just enough for me to stick my tongue out at her. “I’m glad Chase ditching me brings you comfort.”
She cracked a cheeky grin. “I didn’t say that. Only that it was the likely outcome, like you said.”
Like I said. Why did the thought bother me so much? I hardly knew Chase outside his drive to be the best. And his humor. And the unexpected streak of goodness that underscored everything he did. Maybe that was it. I wanted someone like Chase—not popular or cute or smart, but good—to see something of value in me. I’d devoted so much time to my grand revenge plan, it didn’t leave a lot of room for other admirable traits.
These Vengeful Hearts Page 15
