"How much," I said silently.
"So much," she said as she started to kiss my chest.
As we were kissing, my mind wandered to Charlie and the time we were sitting on my couch, telling each other how much we loved each other. The way she made me feel as she kissed me on my chest. I missed that. I missed her.
"I can't do this," I said as jumped up from the couch, leaving Danielle in a pitiful state.
"What's wrong Mike?"
"This. This is all wrong."
"What is, us being together? Mike, this is perfect. This is how it should be."
"For who? You?"
"For the both of us. Mike, you can't deny that we were good together. We always have been and we always will be. "
"I can't do this right now, Danielle. "
Danielle came up to me and put her arms around me. I jerked myself away from her, causing her to finch.
"Don't do this Michael. I love you and I promise you that we can make this work."
"We probably can, but right now, I can't think about a relationship."
"Why? Because you not over Charlie? I hope you don't think you two are getting back together because you're not. Mike, Charlie moved on with her ex-boyfriend."
"Let's just drop this."
"No, I'm not. You need to face the truth. Charlie decided she wanted to be with her ex. She went on with her life, so why can't you?"
"Because I still love her!"
Danielle looked at me with tears in her eyes. I guess she knew that any chance for us to get back together was out the door. I realized at that moment that Charlie was the woman I wanted to be with. Even if Charlie was with Derrick, that's something I'd have to deal with, but right now, I couldn't get involved with anyone.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"Don't bother. You made it loud and clear who you want to be with. And I respect that. But let me tell you one thing, Charlie doesn't deserve you. She will never be the woman you want her to be."
I nodded my head in agreement. "You're right, she's not the woman I want her to be, but she's close to it...."
"Mike. Hello Mike," Danielle said as she was waving her hand in my face.
I gave a weird look to Danielle as she gave me a little smile.
"I've been trying to get your attention for a minute. Where were you?"
I smiled as I looked around at all the prom dresses hanging on ranks and displayed at the front of the store. I suddenly realized that we were looking at prom dresses.
"Sorry. I guess I spaced out for a second."
"I see. Anyway, I wanted to get your opinion on this dress," Danielle said as she held up a pink strapless dress with silver beading around the neckline.
"It nice," I said.
"I was thinking about getting a dress made, but I think this dress is wonderful. Maybe I can still get my dress made, but I can use this one as a design."
I nodded my head in agreement, as I looked at Danielle.
"Why are we looking at prom dresses? I thought you said we were going to the mall to walk around."
"We are, but I also said I wanted to look at prom dresses."
She looked at me and shook her head.
"You don't remember do you?"
"Remember what?"
"You asked to me the prom Mike. You asked me earlier today at your place."
As I tried to think back to earlier today, I realized that I did asked Danielle to the prom.
While I was throwing back beer, I thought.
"Listen, if you don't want us to go to the prom together...."
"I do. I guess I'm not myself right now."
"Well we need to change that. What do you want to do right now? We could go to your favorite store or go see a movie?"
"We don't have to do that. I don't mind looking at prom dresses."
Danielle laughed as she looked at a short black dress with a matching shawl.
"Please Michael. I know you don't want to be looking at me trying on dresses all day."
"What if I do? Besides, whatever dress you try on will look beautiful on you."
Danielle looked at me and smiled.
"Thank you."
I smiled as I watch Danielle's face light up with every dress she saw. As I looked at Danielle, I became excited at the thought of prom coming up and all the after parties everyone was going to be throwing. But as I looked around at the all the gorgeous dresses sitting in the store, I started to think about Charlie and how she would look in a beautiful ballroom gown. She would look stunning with her hair pulled up and a smile that would light up the room. But as I came back to reality, I realized that Charlie was probably going to the prom with Derrick.
And I was going with Danielle.
Charlie
"Did the smoothie make you feel better?" Ashley asked as she was sipping her pineapple and banana smoothie.
I looked at my strawberry smoothie and smiled.
"Sort of, but thanks anyway."
"No problem. I know it's rough, but things will get better."
I nodded my head and sighed. I knew Ashley was trying to help me feel better, but I didn't think anything would lift my spirits, especially not a strawberry smoothie.
"Have you talked to Eva since the party?" I asked as we stop to look at a window display.
"No. I can't talk to her after what she pulled. Why would you even mention her name? I thought you would be the last person to talk about her."
"I know, it's just that we have been friends for so long. I just hate that this had to tear us apart."
"She brought it on herself."
"I know, but what gives me the right to forgive Michael, but not forgive my friend? We've been through so much and we let a guy come between us."
"I know, but how you know Eva didn't have feelings for Michael?"
"I don't think she did. I think it was just a one- night stand, that's all."
"It's your decision to be friends with her, but in my opinion, Eva's not the same person anymore. She's completely changed, and I think it's best if you just let things be."
I looked at Ashley and then I turned my head away from the window display, to an image I didn't want to see. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw Danielle and Michael walking together as if they were the happiest couple on earth. Danielle had her head on Michael's shoulder, while Michael was pointing in the direction in front of him. I looked at the two wondering if they got back together or not. But from the looks of things, it seemed like they had. I see why people at Belmont named them best couple, because I had to admit, they looked good together.
Ashley looked at me with a confused look on her face.
"You haven't even been listening to me," she said as she turned to look at me.
"What's wrong Char?" she said as she started to look in the direction I was facing. Her expression changed as she saw Danielle and Michael on the other side of the mall looking at each other in a longing stare. Then the two started to laugh as if someone told a funny joke. Ashley looked at me and sighed.
"What are they doing together?"
I looked at the two with a sad look on my face. As I tried to blink back tears, I tortured myself some more as I watched Danielle put her hand on Michael's back. She looked over at me as she moved her hand up to Michael's neck. She put her face towards his and gave him a kiss so sensual; it even took him by surprise.
"Don't torture yourself like this Charlie. Let's go," Ashley said as she grabbed my hand.
I felt like my feet were glued to the floor as I tried to walk away. But I couldn't. For some strange reason, I wanted to watch Danielle and Michael be the happy couple. Maybe Michael deserves it after what I did to him.
As Ashley finally moved me away from my position, I looked over and saw Michael looking at me. He looked at me with the same sadness that I had on my face. The tears that I tried desperately to hold back came streaming down on my face like an erupted dam. As Ashley cradled me in her arms, I couldn't hold in
my emotions any longer.
"I can't believe he moved on," I said in between tears.
Ashley sighed as she looked at Danielle and Michael.
"Maybe you're better off without him," she said silently.
Suddenly the sadness I felt for Michael was starting to dissolve. I couldn't believe Michael would do this to me, after all he said to me about loving me. I moved away from Ashley's embrace and before I knew it, I was walking over to Michael and Danielle.
"Charlie! Charlie, don't do this!" Ashley said as she started to run behind me.
I went up to the two with an angry look on my face.
"Should I give my congratulations to the happy couple?"
"If you shall," Danielle said smiling.
"Charlie, it's not what you think," Michael said.
"This is so funny, because you gave me this speech claiming that you loved me and me only. So why do I find you and Danielle hugged up like you two are long lost lovers."
"News flash Charlie, you and Michael are over. You moved on with Derrick, so why are you so upset about Michael and me?"
"I believe I was talking to Michael, not you. So stay the hell out of it."
"No, I'm not. Why don't you go find your boyfriend and leave us alone," Danielle said as she took Michael's hand.
Michael looked at me and sighed.
"Well Michael, is it true? Are you and Danielle back together?"
Michael gave me a remorseful look.
"Charlie, you're making a fool out of yourself. Why don't you walk away and leave us alone."
I look at Michael with tears in my eyes. Danielle looked at me and smiled.
"You heard my man. Go away."
Ashley looked at the two angrily as she grabbed my hand.
"Let's go, Char."
I turned around as Ashley took my hand. As we were walking out of the mall, all the thoughts of Michael and I working things out went out of my mind. As we went to my car, Ashley looked at me as if I was about to break into a thousand pieces.
"You sure you want to drive, sweetie?"
"Yeah, I'm fine Ash."
"You want me to follow you home?"
"No, you don't have to. Besides, there's something I have to do on my way home."
"Char, please don't do something that you might regret."
"What are you talking about? Relax Ashley, I'll be fine."
Ashley sighed as I got into the driver's seat and closed the door.
"Call me as soon as you get home."
I nodded my head as I started up the engine and put the car in reverse.
As I left Ashley standing by her car, I drove to the far side of the parking lot and put my car in park. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Derrick's number. After a few minutes, Derrick picked up with in a rush tone.
"Hey Char. What's up?"
"I was wondering what you were doing."
"Just finished working out. Why?"
"You mind some company for a little bit? I was in the neighborhood and I just wanted to stop by."
I could tell Derrick was smiling through the phone.
"Sure. Just give me some time to clean up."
"Okay. See you in a little bit," I said as I hung up.
I smiled. At first, I wasn't sure where my life was heading and which man I really wanted to be with. But after seeing Danielle and Michael together, I realized that Michael moved on with his life. And if he could do it, so can could I.
And I plan on doing it right now, I thought as I drove toward Derrick's house.
Michael
What just happened here? I thought as I watched Ashley take Charlie away. One minute Danielle and I were walking through the mall, talking and laughing like old friends, and the next, Charlie was standing in front of me with a hateful look on her face. The way she looked at me made me think that she still had feelings for me. She might have been a little jealous of the fact that I was with Danielle. Danielle came up to me and wrapped her arms around me. I pushed myself from Danielle.
"What's wrong?"
"Just leave me alone," I said as I started to walk off.
Danielle started to follow me as I went towards the exit.
When Danielle finally caught up with me, I was halfway to my car. I really didn't want to deal with Danielle after what she pulled.
"Will you stop walking for a second?" Danielle yelled.
I stopped and turned around.
"What Danielle."
"Why are you so upset with me? Charlie got exactly what she deserved."
"What the hell were you trying to pull in there? You know we're not together."
"I know, but she doesn't. Mike, don't feel like you've done anything wrong because Charlie saw us together. Charlie made her choice and she moved on."
I shook my head and sighed.
"You're not getting it Danielle! You act like this is a game, but it's not."
"I never said this was a game. I'm not in competition to win over your heart."
"Well it sure seems like you are."
Danielle looked at me with an angry look on her face.
"If you want to continue sulking over that slut then that's fine with me," she said as she went over to her car. She turned around and looked at me.
"I don't understand you Mike. You have such a good thing going for yourself, including me. Why would you want to risk that by being with a girl who doesn't care about you?"
"You're a fine person to talk Danielle, considering the fact that you did the same thing Charlie has done. How are you going to stand there and act righteous after you cheated on me?"
"I guess because of the fact that I still love you."
"Did you think about that while you were cheating on me?"
Danielle sighed as she got into her car and slammed the door. As she pulled off, I looked at her and smiled.
"I take that as a no," I said.
As I went over to my car, the thought of Charlie looking at me made my heart ache. I know what Danielle said to me was true, but my feelings for Charlie were extremely different than my feelings for Danielle. Danielle and I had gone on different paths in our lives and to be honest, I didn't want to go back down that road with her. Maybe what Charlie said was true about her feelings and her confusion over Derrick and me. Even though Charlie said she loved me, I can't have half her heart. I want her whole heart. And until she realizes what she really wants, I can't be with her.
Charlie
Driving to Derrick's house felt like an eternity. As I pulled up into the driveway, I noticed Derrick's car was the only one parked.
Good, I thought as I got out of the car. As I started to push the doorbell, I quickly put my finger down. I suddenly became nervous and sweaty. As I wiped the sweat from my hands onto my jeans, I looked around the neighborhood with an unsatisfied feeling. Maybe what I'm about to do is not the best idea.
But if Michael can move on, so can I.
I shook my head of all my thoughts of Michael as I rang the doorbell.
"I can't turn back now," I said as I waited for Derrick to answer the door.
The door opened to reveal Derrick wearing a white tank and blue basketball shorts. I started to breathe heavily as I looked at Derrick and his strong, muscled arms. Although I didn't know where my heart was, I definitely knew where the other parts of me were.
"I see your parents' cars are not here. Are they at home?"
"No. They are both still at work," Derrick said in a strange voice.
I walked in and closed the door behind me. I went up to Derrick and threw him with all my strength against the door. Derrick looked at me with a shocked look on his face.
"Char, what has gotten into you?"
I put my finger to Derrick's lips and smiled.
"Don't say anything," I said as I pulled off his shirt. I looked at his chest in amazement.
"I want you. Right here, right now," I said as I started to kiss Derrick's neck.
Derrick looked at me as I moved my lips from his
neck to his ear. He closed his eyes as I began to nibble on his ear. I knew that Derrick's ear was one of his spots. As I pulled away from Derrick, he grabbed my waist and pulled me over to the couch. We started to kiss passionately as we fell on the couch. As we were pulling each other's clothes off, my mind started to race a hundred miles a minute. What was I doing? The only person I slept with was Michael. I thought he was the only person I would be with. As Derrick lay me down on the couch, he looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes.
"You sure you want to do this? We can wait if you want."
I looked at Derrick as I put my arms around him. I knew I should say yes we should wait, but something inside of me wanted to tell him no. I wanted to feel his arms around me, his lips touching all over my body.
"I've never been surer of anything in my life." I saidDerrick smiled as he caressed my cheek.
"Wait right here. I'll be back," he said as he got up from the couch. As he ran upstairs, my mind started to wander to the night Michael and I first made love. The closeness we felt as our bodies entwined with each other. That night we became one, and that feeling would never be duplicated if Derrick and I made love.
"Charlie. Charlie," Derrick said.
My mind went crashing back to reality as I looked at Derrick with a spacy look on my face.
"What?"
"You sure you okay? You seem pretty out of it."
I smiled as I took Derrick's hand. "I'm fine. I guess I'm just kind of nervous about us taking this step. You know things won't be the same between us if we do this."
Derrick smiled. "I know, but we're in love Char. This will be something that we can both embrace together."
I looked at Derrick and nodded my head.
"I agree."
"Are you comfortable on the couch? If not, we can go upstairs," Derrick said in a concerned voice.
"I'm fine."
Derrick gave me a sexy stare as he leaned in toward me. As he started to kiss me, an image of Michael came into my mind. All of a sudden, I wasn't in Derrick's living room anymore. I was in Michael's loft, on his couch kissing him. The thought of being with Michael only made me want to be with him more. As I started to get more excited by the thought of being with Michael, I forgot that I wasn't with him. I was with Derrick. I didn't know how much more I could take. I was about to do something I would regret.
"I can't do this," I said as I sat up on the couch. Derrick looked at me with a surprised expression on his face.
Our Love Page 26
