Kendalee grasped for his hair and pulled his lips to hers. “Try it and you might lose said cock.”
Elliott kissed her, sending his tongue to meet hers.
“I still taste good,” she said, as he pulled away.
“Really fucking good,” he agreed. He reached for her ass and pulled her toward him until she was balancing precariously close to the edge of the machine. He ran a hand down her chest, between the valley of her breasts, pushing her to lean back.
Desperate to be inside, he palmed his cock, stroking it a couple of times. He looked up to see Kendalee’s eyes fixated on what he was doing. To tease her, he rubbed the tip against her wetness, groaning as he did so. “Warm, wet, and deep inside you is his favorite place.”
She changed her gaze to his. “So, what’s he waiting for?”
Elliott grinned and then eased himself forward, a slow back and forth, as Kendalee stretched around him. “Fuck, Babe,” he gasped.
The image of her, opening to receive him, her lips dragging against his cock as he withdrew, her clit all erect and red for him was almost more visual stimulation he could stand. He thrust into her, seating himself as deep as he could get.
“Oh, god,” Kendalee gasped, reaching for his shoulders, so their chests mashed together and blocked his view. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you like this.”
Words gathered at the back of his throat, but he couldn’t say them.
Life was too short to worry about life being too fucking short. His diagnosis and treatment had been a wake-up call to embrace life by the mother-fucking-balls. He had Kendalee, they had each other. They had the kids. And fuck, if he wasn’t there for any reason, there were over a dozen people who would make sure they were looked after. He was the luckiest fucking man on the planet, not the unluckiest.
His diagnosis had happened for a reason.
So, he’d never take moments like this for granted ever again. From now on, he’d never settle for anything less than a full life led exactly the way he wanted it to be. How they wanted it to be.
He slid out of Kendalee, taking most of the weight in his arms now, as she was perched right on the edge of the machine that began to spin faster. The vibration was almost too good. Fucking without a condom was the closest thing to heaven, feeling how wet she was for him, how warm, how snug she still felt. Knowing that, if they were lucky, it might lead to another blessing in their crazy life.
“Fuck me, Elliott,” Kendalee begged.
And goddamn if her wish wasn’t his fucking command. He powered into her, thrusting back and forth, as they both chased the edge.
He could hear Kendalee moan, could feel her tilting her hips so he could hit her exactly where she liked it best. A feeling so desperate he wished he had the hands free to reach for her clit.
“Fuck it. Hold on,” he instructed. Elliott dropped to his knees, placing Kendalee carefully on top of his jeans down onto the floor. Her hair fanned out around her head and she looked breathtaking. So fucking beautiful that, for a moment, he forgot about the orgasm he’d been chasing and stared.
“Elliott,” Kendalee gasped, her cheeks flushed and a sheen of sweat between her breasts. “Are you okay?”
He leaned over her, lying his body flat against hers as she cradled him between her hips, his cock buried deep inside her. In contrast to his frantic movements only moments earlier, he slid out slowly, thrusting back in so deeply he felt as though he might lose sense of who he was.
When his lips met hers, the kiss was filled with everything he couldn’t find the words to express. How much she meant to him. How he’d never take everything they had together for granted ever again. How he hoped they’d expand their family in the next few moments.
“I’ve got you,” Kendalee muttered against his lips as she brushed his hair back from his face and exposed him to her. “I always have.”
And this time, when he began to move, he knew she meant every word. Because he’d got her, too. He sped up, grinding against her because, if there was one thing he knew and understood, it was exactly what the woman beneath him needed to come.
He took her hand in his, their fingers interlaced like their lives, and raised it above her head.
“I’m close,” Kendalee mouthed, her eyes locked on his. The way she looked at him, the way he soaked her in, was a deeper communion than the way their bodies were joined together.
He nodded in understanding. His body was on fire, a different kind of fire than the type that used to help him escape the world around him. It was on fire for her.
His balls ached with a deep need. His orgasm tightened every muscle in his gut.
“Fuck, Kendalee,” he gasped, watching as her mouth opened, as her head threw back, as her eyes closed. Silent gasps of ecstasy as she fluttered around his cock.
Watching her fall apart, he let himself go. He pressed his lips to the crook of her neck, taking in the reassuring musky scent of her, groaning as he came over and over.
When it was done, as silence fell in the laundry room, he slid from within her and settled her against his chest. His heart beat faster than if he’d just played a complete set plus encore to a capacity crowd.
But his soul.
The fractured pieces of him that his family had made whole were glued back together again. Gently, he ran his fingertips up and down her spine as he listened to Kendalee’s breathing return to normal.
“Can I ask for one more thing on your list, Elliott?” She tilted her head to look up at him and he kissed her nose.
“Anything you want, Babe.”
“Number six on the top six things I want to do to my wife in the laundry room,” she said. “Promise her that I’ll never shut her out like that again.”
Elliott wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. “I promise, Lee,” he said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to…” He left the words hanging as he struggled to explain his feelings.
“I can only imagine how tough it’s been, processing it. You don’t need to carry it all on your own. I know it’s what you’ve always done. It’s what I had always done. But that’s the whole point of us. We’re in this life together. All of it. The good and the bad.”
“Don’t make me cry while I’m lying naked on the floor of the laundry room,” he said, attempting to lighten the mood.
Kendalee raised herself onto her elbow and kissed the side of his face. “It would be fine if you did,” she said sincerely.
He nodded. “I love you.”
A warm smile lit up her face. “And I love you, too.”
He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her lips to his, kissing her gently.
A murmur then a cry sounded out through the baby monitor.
“Fuck me,” Elliott said. “I was so hoping we could take this to the store cupboard, or the downstairs toilet.”
Kendalee pressed her head against his shoulder and laughed. “Clean up down here, or clean up up there,” she said, looking toward the baby monitor.
“I’ll take up there,” he said. “My hair looks messy like always. But yours looks like you just got fucked.”
Kendalee slapped his chest but burst out laughing. “Fine, close the door on your way out. I might just grab the sheets from the dryer and nap while I recover.”
He pulled on his clothes while she watched. “Every day, I love you more. Even if I’m not clear about it, Lee. Just waking up next to you on Christmas morning is the only gift I need this year.”
And with that, he left his wife and went to check on his children.
2
Snow fell in huge swaths outside the window of the sterile Toronto high-rise building. It matched Jordan’s thoughts… chaotic, beautiful, and terrifying.
Making music came naturally to Jordan. He’d hear it, feel it, sense it, and fuck, on some days he could even taste it. Notes would form in front of his eyes and his brain would capture them forever, even if he moved on to play the song he was creating a different way. It was comfort
able and safe. It was armor.
Music, he’d thought, was his everything.
Until Lexi had literally danced her way into his life four years earlier.
He was luckier than any man had a right to be. Especially a man like him. He considered the quote Maisie had always said to him, the Hemmingway quote about when people put themselves back together, they could end up strong in the broken places. He had it tattooed on his body as a reminder.
The life he and Lexi had built sometimes felt like a whisper of happiness he had to reach out and grasp to hold on to. Sometimes he caught it and could stay in the moment with Lexi, embracing everything good and right in their world. Sometimes it would drift out of his fingers like mist dissipating over Lake Ontario, and he’d slide back momentarily into a place where only Lexi or one of his brothers could reach him.
Those episodes had become less and less as he’d become accustomed to the idea that the happiness he’d found with Lexi wasn’t temporary. Nothing he’d ever done or said had pushed her away. The fears he’d clung to like a safety jacket had been shed.
At least, they had been.
But right now, sitting in Dr. Cherry’s office with its tabletop Christmas tree, watching as the good doctor herself approached his wife with something that looked like an intercom from Star Trek, fear clung to him like the peanut butter he’d had for breakfast had stuck to the knife.
The squeeze of Lexi’s hand in his brought him back to the present and he turned to face her. Her smile was glorious. “Ready?” she asked.
“Not even fucking close,” he muttered.
The doctor had already squirted something that looked a lot like lube all over his wife’s stomach. “Right, let’s see what we have here,” Dr. Cherry said, placing the gadget in her hand on Lexi’s stomach. Slowly, she moved it around, angling it this way and that.
And then…
Woosh.
Woosh.
Woosh.
Woosh.
The sound was fast, but it still matched his heart rate as he became breathless. Blood started to leave his brain, leave his legs, leaving him floating somewhere close to elation and about to pass out from fear, from the enormity of it.
His eyes met Lexi’s again. He couldn’t form words. If he said anything, everything might fall out of his mouth. Words, feelings, fears. Lexi reached for his cheeks and brushed away a tear he hadn’t even realized had spilled over his lashes.
“Angel,” he said gruffly.
“That’s our baby,” Lexi said with laughter that spluttered on the verge of tears.
He swiveled in his chair and gently laid his forehead to her chest, wrapping one arm over her. He bit his tongue… hard. Dug the nails he played bass with into the palm of his hand. Anything to stop the overwhelming flood of emotions that were about to overtake him.
“I’ve got no idea how to be a dad,” he muttered.
Lexi stroked his hair. “Your relationship with Petal would suggest very strongly otherwise,” Lexi said. “Plus, we’ll learn together.”
A cough from the good doctor interrupted their moment. “Everything looks perfect for twelve weeks. If you look at the screen, you can see your little one.”
They both looked at the monitor. “You can see the baby’s head there, and that’s a foot. It’s even got its hand in the air, waving to you,” Dr. Cherry said, as she pointed out various parts with a blue pen.
Holy shit.
“We made that,” he said to Lexi. “Our…baby.”
He’d not allowed himself to believe it when Lexi had taken a test at seven weeks. He’d asked her to take another test, and another, and another. And she’d humored him, saying she’d need to drink a lot more water first. Thanks to her athletic frame and ballet career, her stomach was as flat as it ever had been, no visible proof that such a wondrous creation was growing inside her. He’d been scared to touch her. Scared to make love to her, no matter how much she’d reassured him that it wouldn’t do the baby any harm. Given biology had never been his strong suit at school, he’d had to look up on the fucking internet where exactly the thing was growing because he didn’t want his dick anywhere near it.
And he’d not been able to share a single fear or worry with anyone he knew because Lexi had told him that miscarriage before twelve weeks was fairly common and she hadn’t wanted to deal with that publicly. So, they’d kept it a secret, a painfully glorious one that had scalded his heart.
But now, there was moving, breathing, wiggling proof of its existence. Proof that had a head…and hands that waved. And it was alive.
Woosh.
Woosh.
Woosh.
“Is she okay?” he asked.
Dr. Cherry looked confused and then down at her file. “It’s too early to tell the gender yet, but it says here you don’t want to know. Is that correct?”
Jordan shook his head. “I didn’t mean the baby. I meant my wife.” He squeezed Lexi’s hand tightly.
Dr. Cherry grinned. “Lexi is completely fine.” She turned to Lexi. “You are taking the vitamins we talked about at our last appointment, right?”
Lexi nodded. “Jordan set an alarm on his phone to make sure I remember to take them every morning.”
Dr. Cherry put her hand to her heart. “That’s very supportive of you, Jordan.”
Supportive? It was the fucking least he could do. One wild night when they’d desperately reached for each other in a moment of lust and forgot the most basic tenets of contraception. By the time he’d gotten over just how fucking good it had felt to come deep inside her, they realized he’d not put a condom on.
There had been changes they’d had to make immediately once they’d had a positive pregnancy test, like telling the company director of the ballet. But Lexi hadn’t so much as blinked and was still dancing her favorite role in The Nutcracker, the Snow Queen, every night. Thank fuck her last night was that evening or he might just die from panic every time she was hoisted into the air.
And now she was growing their fucking child while he sat on the sidelines. So, yeah, making sure she remembered to take her vitamins while cooking her a healthy breakfast each morning was the absolute bare minimum he could do.
“Are you ready for Christmas?” Dr. Cherry asked, wiping the gel off Lexi’s stomach. “Got all the shopping done?”
Lexi sat up. “Pretty much. We’re off to Miami tomorrow for Christmas and New Year. A friend is getting married.”
“Oh, that sounds exciting,” Dr. Cherry said. “And to get away from this weather.”
The weather? He’d not slept the night before with worry about the whole thing. Wouldn’t she be safer in their own bed, near their own OB? Was altitude even safe? And seat belts on planes? Wait, she wore seat belts in their car. Was it the same thing?
“We aren’t going,” Jordan blurted.
Dr. Cherry and Lexi both turned to look at Jordan.
“Why not?” Lexi asked, but she asked it kindly and took his hand. “It’s perfectly safe for me to fly. Right, Doctor?”
Dr. Cherry nodded her head. “It is. You are past the twelve-week stage, so miscarriage risks are much lower. The flight time is less than four hours, so risks of deep vein thrombosis are nearly negligible. And Lexi is in perfect health with no underlying conditions that would increase the risk of anything. She’s fine, Jordan.”
He shook his head. “No. I want to keep her here, closer to you if there is a problem.”
Dr. Cherry thought for a moment. “I’ll make an introduction to a doctor I know in Miami. Then you’ll have a point of contact.”
Lexi looked at him. “Jordan. We’ve talked about this. You can’t wrap me up in cotton wool for the next six months, you know this.”
Jordan raised her knuckles to his lips and kissed them. “I can fucking try, Lex. It was bad enough dealing with the thought of something happening to you. The idea of something happening to both of you is more than I can deal with.”
Lexi sighed. “Can we have a moment, Dr.
Cherry?”
Dr. Cherry stood. “Certainly. I’ll get copies of your ultrasound printed. How many would you like?”
“Two,” Lexi said.
“Thirty,” Jordan said at the same time.
“We’ll take a dozen,” Lexi said, smiling at him in a way he knew he didn’t deserve.
“Fine. A dozen.”
The soft click of the door told him they were alone. “Lex, listen. I can’t stand the thought of—”
Lexi cut him off by pressing her lips to his, by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him tightly against her chest. Unable to resist her, he placed his arms around her and pulled her to him without giving her time to right her clothes.
There was no defense against her lips, against the way her body pressed against his. He felt himself getting hard at the very thought of her carrying their child.
Their child. A child he’d get to meet next summer.
Just as his thoughts were about to turn to taking her right there on their OB’s medical bench with crisp white disposable sheets on it, she pulled back.
“I know this worries you,” she said, placing her hands on either side of his face. “But it’s a miracle, too, Jordan. Don’t you see it? We’ve been blessed with a precious gift to give this child everything they need to feel safe. A secure home. And we’ll love them. We’ll love them so hard they’ll never feel alone, even when we aren’t with them. We’ll give them what you give me, and I give you. We’ll give them stability, and hope, and independence to go out into the world to create amazing things.”
Her words penetrated his brain. When she held his face, making him feel so fucking cherished he thought his heart would explode with the impact of it, he listened.
“I need to relax, don’t I?” he said.
The smile that lit up her face reassured him. “Just a little. I love how fiercely you love me, Jordan. It’s the most glorious of feelings. And I love that you love this little one just as much, if not more, already. But suffocating either one of us isn’t the answer to keeping us safe. Plus, you can tell your brothers now. And they’ll help you navigate this.”
The Sweetest Gift Page 2
