by L. E. Waters
“I have been sick, worrying about them without me. All alone, missing me, crying out for their mother. I wanted to die as quickly as I could just to be there for them again.” She snorts back up her runny nose. “But how are you sure you’re not imagining all of this?”
“I’ve remembered things I shouldn’t be able to. Things only historians know about famous people or places. I wondered at first if I was imagining it all too, but when I looked up the things I remembered, they were right.” I can tell there is still doubt in her eyes. “Like how would I know that you keep a very clean house?”
She takes a moment. “You’ve seen how clean I am in the last few days here.”
“No, your house is impeccable. Everything put away, everything perfectly sewn, everything beautiful. It’s very important to you.”
She shakes the thought away. “That is not enough to convince me.”
I think of anything that might have stuck in her consciousness.
“You hate having your throat touched since you were poisoned in an early life.”
She defensively reaches for her neck. “No one likes having their throats touched.”
Of course, I decide not to remind her that it was me who poisoned her. “You’ve always had great healing instincts.”
“Little good that did me when it mattered.”
I quickly think of another one to distract her from her children. “You have a fear of being alone.”
“I’m alone now, aren’t I?”
Oh, this just keeps getting worse. My eyes are drawn to the glowing green new grass out the window. “You’ve always wanted to visit Ireland.”
“I’ve made Gustav bring me along on business with him twice.”
“You have a fear of alcohol and its effects.”
She studies me. “I haven’t told anyone about that. I hate it when Gutsav has more than one drink with dinner.” She looks around the room. “So you think you’ve known me before?”
“We’ve been together since ancient Egypt. Oh, and you love the stars.”
Her face softens. “I took an astronomy course at the university.” She places a bony hand on mine. “So they will get a chance to live life again?”
I nod and she cries more tears of relief.
“They were so young, only one and three. They didn’t even get a chance to live.”
“They have lived before and they will live again.”
She starts to smile up at the ceiling as tears roll quickly out of the corners of her eyes. “You don’t know what that means to me.” She looks at me again and the shadows are gone. “I believe you.”
That makes me cry. How quickly she trusts me, even in such a place. Gitta and Elfi emerge from their quarters and Gitta comes right to her side to comfort her. The gate at the top of the stairs rattles, and I’m surprised to see Dr. Evert so early, before breakfast. We’ve been meeting after lunch the past few days.
He struts up. “Good morning, ladies. Have you slept well?” Odelia draws in a long sniffle, but Dr. Evert can see something has changed within her as well. “Odelia, is that a smile I see?” He hovers over us, shining his bright smile on her.
She nods and her smile expands. Gitta appears confused as to what may have happened overnight.
He turns to me. “Annelie, I’ve come to see if you have prepared that list for me?”
The others look interested as I pull out the list with all their names on it. He drops it in his pocket immediately. “I will look it over later. Will you come with me now? I’d like to show you the garden site.”
Gitta gasps. “What garden?”
Dr. Evert says, “I’ve decided to start a garden to grow some fresh produce for the patients, and Annelie here is going to help me.”
Their eyes flash with envy to mine.
“I’ve nominated you all, if the doctor says you can help as well.”
“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First, let’s see what we can do.” He guides me away from them, and I have to work to keep up with his much quicker steps. We walk right behind our building, to a lot filled with thorny bushes and shrubs. He points at it all. “This is it. The hospital says we can borrow any of their landscaping tools to clear this out. Then we’ll buy some lumber to raise the beds, and we’ll bring in some good soil from one of the farms across the river.”
I look at the tangled and rocky mess. “We’re going to need everyone on the list.”
He removes the list. “I’m afraid Gitta will not be able to help with the project.”
“But why not? She only gets those bad episodes when Bathilda bathes her. The other episodes we can help her with and keep her safe.”
“The stress of so much work will not be good for her. Epileptics are never allowed to join the projects.”
“But the fresh air will be good for her. I assure you that we will keep her from harm.”
He stuffs the list back in. “I’ll think everything over, but there will be some that I won’t be able to allow.” He looks away from me. “You will all have to come out under Nurse Bathilda’s and a few other orderlies’ protection.”
Bathilda and protection is an oxymoron. “Can I request Nurse Frieda instead? The patients like her more.”
He seems caught off guard by this but reads my concern. “I will think about that as well.”
“When can we start?” I can’t wait to get busy. I haven’t done anything physical since I left the laundry at home.
He smiles. “As soon as I approve the group with the board.” He looks up to the sky. “And when the weather is good.”
“No, we will work every day, even in the rain. It will be good for us, and we have to get everything planted as soon as possible. We wait too long and we’ll miss the growing season.”
“You’re the boss.” He shivers. “That wind is still bitter.”
“It feels good after being shut in.”
“Let’s go back inside. You don’t have a coat.”
He walks me back inside the gate and Verena calls out, “Pick me to help in the garden, Fridric.”
Bathilda is drawn out from the hallway. “What’s this about a garden?”
“I’m creating a new project for the patients where they can grow their own food.” Dr. Evert puts his hands in his pocket.
“Why haven’t you discussed this with me first?”
“I’m not required to, Nurse Bathilda.”
Her mouth clamps shut.
“Annelie will be assisting me, as well as some of the other high-functioning patients.”
“I’m not sure if I have the time to oversee this project.” Bathilda clings to any power she still has.
“Oh, I completely understand, which is why Nurse Frieda will be overseeing the patients in the garden.”
How fast he’s changed his mind on thinking Frieda over.
Frieda perks up. “I would love to assist the patients in the garden. That will be wonderful for them.”
Bathilda sputters, “Well…well…I’ll just need to think it over.”
Dr. Evert waves his hand at her in the air. “No, it’s already settled. Nurse Frieda will be more than satisfactory.” He turns to her. “I will keep you updated as to when we’ll begin.”
“Doctor, I’ve been meaning to talk to you again about Annelie.” She walks closer to him and keeps her voice low, even though I can still hear what she’s saying. “I really don’t think she is capable of assisting you with anything, let alone a farming project. She can hardly keep herself clean.” She sneers in my direction. “You wouldn’t believe how filthy she was when I got her into the tub.”
He quickly responds, “She doesn’t look dirty to me.”
“Have you examined her backside?” She actually waits for him to respond to that.
“Of course not.” He draws away from her accusation. “I don’t perform those sort of examinations.”
“Well, I have, and the poor dear doesn’t ev
en know how to wipe herself properly.”
He simply looks at me from across the hall. I’ve never wanted to strangle steel-eyes more.
“Also, she’s been telling me that you’ve been abusing her when you’ve got her alone in your office.”
His jaw clenches, and I try to give him a quick headshake to tell him that she’s lying. “I haven’t—”
Bathilda raises an iron hand to stop him. “Shh, no need to defend yourself, Doctor. Of course I know it’s her delusions. We all know we can’t trust a word that she says. She probably tells you that I’m abusing her as well.” She laughs a fake laugh but keeps an ear out for his reply.
“Actually, she hasn’t said a word about that.”
“Oh, well.” Bathilda looks caught off guard for a moment. “I’m sure she will at some point. The issue is that if we can’t even trust what she says, how can you trust her to run such a project with you?”
I wring my hands, wishing they were wrapped around her neck so she couldn’t utter another forked-tongued word.
He pauses a moment. “I have to trust my instincts that she will be the one to help me, but I appreciate your concern.”
He pulls the list from his pocket once again and waves it at me. “I better get working on this. I’ll see you in the afternoon for our session, Annelie.”
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
“Psst!” Frieda whispers.
I glance up from the end of my book. Frieda motions me to come to her desk, drawing the attention of nearly half the room, but Bathilda remains out of earshot, which is her goal.
She pulls something from under the desk. “Take them and eat them quickly. Once Bathilda sees they’re missing, she’ll come looking for them.”
She hands me the little pouch of half-eaten chocolates, confections, and sweet rolls.
“Will you get in trouble?”
“I don’t care if I do. I can’t stand watching her shove these in her mouth every time I turn my back.”
I tuck them into my arms and decide I better enjoy them quickly. But how can I with all these skeletons watching me? I immediately start to walk around the room with my finger at my lips to quietly place one treat on the table in front of each of them. Even Minna keeps her squeals inside as she fights the wrappers to drop the sweets into her mouth as fast as she can. I have enough left to drop a few at Frieda’s desk before taking a delicious moment to enjoy my share.
I stare around at the happy faces, faces that only a week ago were frightened. The whole room feels different. The icy grip of winter and the depression it brings with it seem to be melting away with fresh bread and coffee, music, sweets, and—soon—even a garden.
Just then, the gates peel back and Dr. Evert is here for me. I leap up immediately, saving him the walk down the hall. As soon as I fall into the chair in his office, I say, “Nurse Bathilda is a liar. I am not dirty, and she is only telling you such things so that I don’t get to help you.”
“Have you told her that I’ve abused you?”
“Another one of her lies. She is a horrid person. Ask any of the patients, even if they’re afraid to say it. You will see the answer in their eyes.”
“I didn’t think you were dirty.” He looks me over for a second. “You impress me as a tidy and lovely girl. You smell very clean.”
Strange to think that he smells me.
He continues, “Between you and me, Bathilda makes my skin crawl.” He does a playful shiver that makes me laugh.
“Have you decided on the list?”
“You’ve made some very thoughtful selections. Verena scares me a bit, since she is a crafty little vixen, but if Nurse Frieda is there with some strong orderlies, I think we can give her a chance.”
“Not any handsome ones.”
I’ve made him laugh now. “Good point.” He scribbles that down. “I’ll try my best to be there as well to help.”
“What about Gitta?”
I can’t imagine her being left behind while we all get to go outside.
“I fought tooth and nail to get her approved.” He sighs, and my stomach churns, but then he smiles. “And I’ve done it.”
I yelp.
“But”—he raises an index finger—”just on a trial basis. If it distresses her, or she has any grand mal seizures, we will have to release her from the project.”
I still feel like squealing. “I can’t wait to tell her!”
“Let’s focus a bit before we do that.” He pushes a large notepad and pencil toward me. “If this whole pad is the size of our lot, where should we place the beds and what shall we plant where?”
I love how he is allowing me to decide all these things.
“Are we going to be able to fence it all in, to keep the rabbits and other vermin out?”
“I hadn’t thought of that, but that should be done.” He jots more down.
I make as many rectangles as I can and write in parsnips, carrots, lettuce, onions, potatoes, kale, celery, gooseberries, cabbages, sweet peas, beets, cucumbers, pole beans, currants, and herbs.
When I pass it back, he says, “Makes my stomach growl.” He rubs his flat middle. “But where are the flowers?”
“I thought you only wanted food for the hospital?”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to distribute arrangements to all the wards to try to cheer the place up?”
He just keeps impressing me more and more with how hard he is trying to better this dreary place.
“Pass it back, then.” I smile as I add peonies, lilies, spray roses, sunflowers, poppies, morning glories, verbenas, stock, and phlox to the beds.
“I will send for these seeds by mail at once.” He pats the paper. “This is exciting.” I could fall in love all over again with his sweet smile.
“How soon can we start?”
“Is tomorrow too soon?” His eyes twinkle in a half-moon squint.
“In the morning?”
“Well, given the chill, we should probably start when the sun is high. I’ve arranged for the tools to be brought to the lot, along with work clothes and gloves for everyone on your list.”
“I can’t wait.” I stand up. “Can we go tell everyone now?”
“Our session is not up yet, but let’s go see the look on ol’ Bathilda’s Frankenstein face.”
I nearly skip all the way up the stairs. Dr. Evert reads each name off the list but doesn’t call out Gitta. Everyone already knows why he has said their name and Verena, Ursel, and Minna spin in circles around each other. Sibylle sits up on her bench and says, “I don’t think I’ll be much help.”
“Let’s can see what you can do. The fresh air will be good for you.”
Juliane twists her fingers, chapped from so much washing. “I really don’t think I can put my hands in any of that dirt out there.” She shudders. “Do you know where fertilizer comes from?”
Dr. Evert laughs. “You will get work suits and thick gloves. Juliane, your hands will be completely protected while wearing them.”
She bites her lip in consideration.
Elfi frets as well. “This is too good to be true. They must be doing this for a reason.”
“To grow extra food for us, Elfi,” I say. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have fresh vegetables at our meals?”
“Yes, but we can’t be too trusting. They never do anything to make us happy. I’ll have to figure out what’s behind this all before it’s too late.”
Odelia even beams. “I used to grow roses in our courtyard. I once won a prize at the floral show.”
“Good,” I said. “You will be in charge of the rose bed. I’ve never grown roses before.”
Odelia crosses her arms in confidence, but then notices Gitta, who has drifted away to the corner of the room. She watches out the window to hide her tears. “Oh, but what about Gitta?”
Bathilda has been hovering for the whole conversation and enjoying having some misery as everyone is so clearly joyful.
She says, “Of course Gitta can’t be part of the project, for obvious reasons.”
I hope Dr. Evert won’t keep torturing her for long. He pretends to look closer at the list. “Oh, wait just one moment.”
Gitta turns around with quiet rivers of tears trailing down her pretty face.
“Did I not say Gitta?” He points at the paper. “Her name is right here on my list.”
Gitta’s face breaks into the largest smile I’ve ever seen her capable of and Odelia wraps her thin arms around her.
Bathilda breaks in. “Epileptics are not allowed to participate in any projects. They pose a danger to themselves and others.”
“I’ve considered it carefully and, with the proper assistance, we can see if her episodes improve with the fresh air.” He holds his hands up in the air. “No one has tested if it benefits them. It will be an experiment.”
“Imagine if she has a grand mal while swinging a shovel. Or with clippers in her shaking hands,” Bathilda persists.
Twilight falls over Gitta’s face, who is used to a lifetime of restrictions on any part of a normal life.
“Well, it’s already approved by the board since they are immensely interested to see how Gitta fares, and I have assured them that I will watch over her personally.”
Gitta’s in love with the doctor. What a hero he is to her now.
Dr. Evert notices the look and he says quickly, “Oh, I shouldn’t get all of the credit. Annelie insisted that Gitta be included.”
Gitta rushes over to embrace me. She pulls away and whispers, “I know that God has sent you to save us.” She hugs me again. “You must be an angel.”
“I have a bad feeling about this.” Bathilda has had enough and walks away in a huff. I smile, imagining her searching for one of my chocolates to stuff in her dry mouth and not finding them there.
He claps his hands together loudly. “Make sure to get lots of sleep tonight, girls. We have a busy day ahead of us.”
I think the energy in the room could light a stage.
Chapter 8
We stand in a limp line, equipped in our new work clothes and gloves, staring at the jungle behind our building.
