by L. E. Waters
“You’ve missed all the fun, Frieda.”
Frieda walks right by her with her arm around Minna’s shoulders.
“Strange, though, how not one of our patients were taken, don’t you think?”
Frieda responds, “We are lucky to care for such high-functioning patients.”
Bathilda spurts out in laughter. “Most of these are considered ‘incurables’. Schizophrenics don’t get better.”
“I’m sure the fact they’re all contributing so much to the hospital has helped them.”
“That stupid garden. Once harvest time is over, they won’t look so helpful then, will they?” She breathes out a long-held sigh. “No, I think I shall have a word with the director, making sure he’s aware of my concerns regarding some of our patients.”
Frieda spins around, grinding her teeth in such a way I’ve never seen before. “You are a vile nurse! No, you’re not a nurse, you don’t deserve to have that title when you strive to punish and degrade these poor girls. You’re in the wrong place. You should have found your calling with the SS!”
Bathilda shrugs it all off. “Dr. Evert can’t save these girls for long. It’s only a matter of time before we’re looking for work. I just might consider your suggestion, since soon there won’t be any patients left to care for.”
Minna and Gitta are in tears. Frieda decides to comfort them rather than fight with Bathilda, and takes them into the bathroom to wash up. The rest of us retreat in safety to our window to watch clouds of black smoke puffing out of the huge chimneystacks.
Chapter 18
The parades of trucks continue for days, and we stop watching once we see the children walked and pushed in wheelchairs down the road. All are holding on to a blanket or stuffed animal, walking hand in hand with some of the heartless nurses who are leading them like Pied Pipers. Not needing tranquilizers since they are so trusting. Odelia collapses in my arms and Verena says, “We can’t continue to witness this.”
“Where are they all going?” Minna asks.
Elfi answers, “Where we’re going to end up one day.”
“Elfi, don’t scare her,” Sibylle says.
Odelia wipes away her tears. “We don’t know where they’re going.”
“Then why is everyone so sad?” Minna says.
Only Verena can reply. “Because all the other patients are disappearing and we don’t want to be taken away too.”
“Are they going to take us away?” Gitta worries.
“No one knows.” Odelia puts her arms around Minna and Gitta. “But I will always go with you. I won’t ever leave you two alone.”
“We’ll all go together.” Juliane holds her chin high. “If one of us goes, then we’ll go with them.”
Tears fill my eyes. This must be why I need to stay here.
Verena lightens the moment by shaking her rear. “But it will be a party when we go down to House C 16. We’ll go singing and dancing.”
Smiles stretch across our faces, scaring all the worry and fear away, and we laugh only like insane people can in the face of death.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Just when we think all the patients have been carted down to House C 16, buses are brought in from somewhere else, endless buses of scared, normal-looking people. Frieda whispers to us that they come from all over Saxony, all of Hitler’s undesirables, all considered unworthy of life. The buses come in filled and leave empty. Thousands of people file into the small building but never come out.
We only have the food from our garden now, but so many less to share it with. We get filled up on potatoes and vegetables, but I wonder what we will do once the harvest ceases. Staff is reduced and most of the orderlies are gone. The hall gates are left open since the hospital entrance gates have been fortified by soldiers.
I realize a whole week has gone by without seeing Dr. Evert. I tell Frieda, “I think we’ve missed my session with Dr. Evert.”
She bites the inside of her cheek. “I’m afraid there aren’t any more sessions.”
Panic sets in. “What do you mean?”
“They have stopped all therapies for the remaining patients. Most of the doctors have been sent away, with only a few remaining for the army’s employment.”
“Has Dr. Evert been sent away?” I can barely speak at the thought that I might never see him again.
“No. Dr. Evert has demanded to stay on.”
“Can you take me to him?”
She gives me a stern look.
“I just want to speak to him.”
“I can see if he’ll see you, but only for a few minutes. No one wants to get into trouble, the way things are.”
I nod and we slip out without Bathilda noticing. I rap on Dr. Evert’s door.
“Who’s there?” he asks, with a touch of anger in his voice.
“It’s me, Annelie.”
I can tell he rushes to open the door. He looks horrible, like one of the patients after they’ve pulled at their hair in anguish.
Frieda says, “Just a few minutes, Annelie.” She sits on the bench in the hall.
I step into his office and he closes the door, checking first if anyone’s seen me enter.
“I was so worried that you’d left.”
“I won’t leave while I still have some patients left.” He paces. “Only a handful remain, but they are all still here because of my efforts.”
I leap up to embrace him and it catches him completely off guard. I hold on so tight to his neck that I can smell his hair. “Thank you, Fridric. For all that you’ve done for us.”
He laughs at my unexpected lunge but wraps his lean arms around my back. “So this is what I needed to do to get a hug from you.”
I laugh through a sniffle. “I felt sick when I thought you were gone. I hope you know how special you are to me.”
“I didn’t know, but I know now.” He pulls away to look into my wet eyes. He smooths away the hair stuck to my cheek. “Don’t worry. I won’t stop protecting you as long as I live.”
I pull his stubbly face to mine and hold him close for a moment. I step back and take a deep breath, still holding both of his hands. “Maybe if I’m your hero, you will reconsider my soul mate status.” He makes me laugh so hard and he squeezes my hands. “You better go.”
I nod a few times and take the handkerchief he offers. Frieda’s already standing by the door, wringing her hands. She doesn’t chide me, though, when she sees my red eyes. I turn back to see him wink once with that glorious smile before closing the door.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
I’m surprised that Kathrin doesn’t visit for so long. I’m sure she’s worried about the Nazis’ presence and seeing Luther and his eyebrow scar. However, when she finally appears in the garden four days later, I quickly understand the reason why she didn’t come sooner.
“Annelie.” She comes to hug me like she hasn’t seen me in a year. “You have no idea how hard it was to get in.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve come every day, and each time they wouldn’t let me in. I tried everything—short skirts, bribes, begging—but they sent me away saying that ‘they weren’t accepting visitors today’.”
“How did you get in, then?” I worry that Georg might have tried to see me as well.
“I was so concerned about you that I had to see you.” She’s out of breath and sits down on the bench, removing her gloves slowly. “I decided I had to send for Luther.”
“You didn’t.”
She puts a bare hand up. “I had to. I needed to know that you were okay.”
“You shouldn’t see him alone, Kathrin.”
“I haven’t seen him yet. They’ve only called for him. He told them to let me in. We probably don’t have much time to talk. He’ll be here soon.”
“You should have brought Carsten with you. Luther is dangerous.”
She scoffs. “Can you imagine
what Carsten would do to Luther if he so much as looked at me?” She tries to smooth the wrinkles out from her skirt. “Carsten doesn’t even know I’m here. He’s forbidden me to come here without him.”
“For good reason.”
She furrows her brow. “So you don’t want to see me? Because that is what would happen.”
“Of course I love to see you, but not if it puts you in harm’s way. I want you to stay away from Luther.”
“You are the one who’s in danger, Annelie.” She takes a deep breath. “I brought food for you, but they’ve taken it all at the gates.” She measures me with her eyes. “I can tell you’re losing weight again.”
“I’ll be fine as long as we still have the garden.”
“Looks like it’s near the end of the harvest, though.” She squints up at the sky. “What an amazing red sky! I’d say it’s the color of pomegranates.”
I put down my harvest basket in order to gaze up at the burning sky. “What was it Georg said about red skies? ‘Red sky in the morning; shepherds warning’.”
“That’s all we need.” Kathrin groans. “A storm.”
I glance to the last remaining vegetables to pick and potatoes to be dug up. “I wish we had planted a few apple trees.” I wipe my forehead, leaving dirt from my glove behind. “Maybe next year.”
“You’re not going to be here next year. I’m going to get you out of here if it kills me.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
She unbuttons her jacket, revealing a sheer, lacy top that teases to reveal the plunge of her cleavage, just as Luther strides in through the gate. She says under her breath as she watches him, “Well, I’m not going to stand by and watch you suffer.”
Luther marches up with his eyes only on Kathrin, not failing to notice the plunge of her blouse. “It is very nice to see you again, Kathrin.” He extends a hand for her and she complies reluctantly but with her chin high. He kisses it slowly, breathing in her scent as he places his lips on her skin. When he straightens, he says, “I’m glad you sent for me.”
“It seems like it was the only way I could see my sister.” Kathrin looks at me and I give her a warning look.
“Yes. For the safety of our soldiers and the patients”—I almost laugh at the thought of their ‘concern’ for the patients, but I tighten my lips—”there are to be no more visitors to the hospital. Except, of course, for special circumstances.” He gives a nod to her and a smile filled with sensual promise.
Kathrin looks away. “Well, I need to see my sister, and I thank you for allowing me to do so.”
“I take great pleasure in being of some assistance to you. Do not hesitate to ask for my assistance with whatever you or your sister shall need. I will strive to be useful to you.”
She studies his sincerity and I worry about what is really being discussed here.
“Where has everyone gone?” I take a chance to ask him.
I break his Kathrin-watching trance. “What do you mean? Everyone’s still here.” He chuckles.
I can’t help but scoff slightly. “Everyone is not here. Our building is all but empty except for our floor, and I haven’t seen any patients on the ground since the buses took them down to your building.”
The eyebrow with the scar lifts. “Oh, those patients. They were sent to other hospitals. Specialized hospitals that will benefit each of their needs. We need to make room for the barracks as we move closer to war.”
“Will my sister be moved as well?” Kathrin is practically glaring at him, but he seems to enjoy it.
He sugars his grin. “As long as you are a friend to me, I will be a friend to Annelie.”
I should’ve left when Dr. Evert told me to. Kathrin is now in a very bad position.
Kathrin looks to the ground and then back to his heavy stare. “I am a friend.”
He seems to grow a few inches. “Good. Good. With a sister in such an unfortunate predicament, it will be good to have friends.” He bows to me and then to her. “Please call for me again at your next visit and maybe I will have more time to take you to lunch. But for now, I must leave you both.”
She forces a smile that falls flat, and he marches out like the Führer is watching him.
She falls down on the bench after he’s gone.
“What are you doing, Kathrin? You can’t come back here again. Did you see the way he looked at you?”
“I know. I feel like I need a shower.” She cringes. “Yuck.”
“If you come back here, I’m not going to see you.”
“Well, maybe I won’t come see you and will only pay a little visit to Luther, to get you sent home once and for all.” Panic finds a home when I realize that I’m not in any control here. “Then I won’t have to look at Luther’s ugly scar face again.”
“If you think just one tea party with Luther will free me and you won’t have to see him again, you’re fooling yourself. He isn’t stupid, and I’m sure the price of my release is going to cost you greatly.”
Tears brim in her eyes. “I’m going to do whatever I need to do to make sure you’re safe. I couldn’t live without you, Annelie.”
I hold her tight. “I’m safe here. Dr. Evert is going to be sure I’m safe.”
“Don’t you see that if I don’t see Luther again, he will take it out on you? You will be in even greater peril.” She pulls a lace hankie from her sleeve and dabs her tears. “No. It will be a small price to pay, and I’m prepared to do it.”
“Carsten—”
“Carsten will never know. I only come here when he’s working, and I make sure I’m home before he gets out.” She flusters to check her watch. “I better run. This is the last train I can catch before he comes to see me.”
She gives me a quick but warm hug and calls back behind her, “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”
The two sentences I mistrust more than any others.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Later that evening, I have to get on my knees to dig up the last potato bush. It’s a stubborn one and, after some grunting, it comes up with four nice potatoes. Four more meals at least. A cold breeze blows my bangs away from my eyes and I look over the now resting garden. How is this winter going to treat us with no more bounty from this garden? I turn to the squeal of the gate. Georg appears with a shy smile.
“I can’t believe you got through the guards. I hope you didn’t pay too dearly for it.”
I can tell he’s already nervous about something by the way he keeps looking back over his shoulder and avoids my eyes. “Kathrin took pity on me and told me she’d help me get in.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s having lunch with the Police Leader.”
I throw the potatoes into the bucket. “I really wished she didn’t do that.”
He walks closer to me. “I hated to ask her, but I needed to see you.”
I forget about Kathrin for a moment. I peel off my gloves and stand up before him. “I’m fine. Almost everyone else has disappeared, but we’re all still here.”
“I know what’s been happening here. Come with me.” He reaches his hand out and my heart jumps at the idea of being able to hold his hand. I hesitate, though.
“Where do you want to take me? I can’t leave the garden.”
“Look around.” He spreads his arms out. “No one here cares about the patients anymore.”
He reaches his clean hand out again and I place my slightly dirty one within it. I try to control how excited I am to hold his hand in order to keep my hand from sweating. He holds the gate open and allows me to walk out first, then leads me down through the woods to the Elbe River. Is he taking me here to be alone with me? I can hardly think of things to talk about as the thought keeps my heart skipping beats.
“Have you tried to visit me before?”
He shakes his head. “No, I knew they weren’t going to let anyone in.”
My hopes drop. “Oh.”
A branch snags between my feet, but he catches me with both hands before I tumble down the incline.
“But I’ve had a friend watch the hospital since I left that day.”
I can’t keep the smile from spreading. At least he didn’t forget about me.
He pulls me along again. “I couldn’t sleep worrying about you.”
I want to find a place to stop just so he can finally kiss me, but we keep snapping branches on our way to the water. “Do you think we could just follow the river out to the train station to escape?”
“No. There are guards positioned by House C 16 to the left and around the bend of the river to the right.”
“To keep the patients in? I thought you said they didn’t care about us?”
We reach a small clearing and he points toward House C 16. “No, to keep people away from seeing this.”
I squint my eyes to the commotion of trucks and soldiers by the water. “What are they doing?” I shield my eyes from the low fall sun with my hand. The men shovel dirt into the river from the open work trucks. “Why are they shoveling dirt into the river?”
He holds my hand tighter. “That is not dirt they are shoveling. It’s ashes.”
He lets the word penetrate.
“Ashes?” I stupidly ask, but his morbid look tells me everything. I drop his hand to cover my mouth. “From people? The patients?” He grabs hold of me as I try to step back. “The children?” The children holding on to those nurses’ hands as they led them to the fires. I shake my head. “But they couldn’t have. They couldn’t kill all those people without anyone knowing. Without anyone getting away. We would have heard the gunshots. We didn’t hear anything.”
He tries to steady me. “They must have a way to kill them quietly. Then they dispose of them here and no one notices.”
I still shake away his words. “They can’t get away with this. People will notice. They just can’t erase people like this. Someone will stop them.”
