She looked at me and then looked at the boys loitering in the car park and nodded. "Sure."
"Zoe?" Dee called as we began to walk towards the car.
"I'm riding with Simone today," I called back. "I'll entertain you tomorrow."
He shielded his eyes from the sun and even without seeing, I could tell he was concerned. He would be kicking himself now for pushing me towards Will. Something so small shouldn't get to me like this, but he knew me well enough to know it cut. I waved him off and opened the passenger side door to Simone's rental. As I settled in, she slid on her black rimmed glasses and started the car. On anyone else, they would look awkward, but she can pull the nerd glasses off like no one's business. She turned on the radio to Absolute and a Two Door Cinema Club song was playing. As the bus pulled out of the car park, she followed, tapping her fingers against the wheel. She shifted in her seat about a million times before we'd even hit the highway and it was only a few blocks away.
"Are you okay?" I asked, glancing to her then to the road ahead where the bus with my awkward crush and my infuriating best friend was sitting at a traffic light.
"Can I ask you a question?" she asked.
"Uh, sure," I replied, curious as to what had her worked up.
"How well do you know Chris?"
"Chris?" I asked surprised.
"Yeah, you guys spend a lot of time together. With the band and stuff."
"Yeah, I guess we know each other pretty well."
"Does he ever mention me?" She said it in a small voice which made me think she was embarrassed to be talking about him.
"Simone? Do you like him?"
Her skin is so pale, it was totally obvious when she blushed. "I've known him for years," she said. "But we haven't been that close. Not until now."
"You should tell him. He's a good guy. Ask him out."
"But, what if he doesn't feel the same way?"
I felt stupid giving her advice when I couldn't take it myself. "You might have to take the chance."
"Could you say something to him? I mean, to see how he might take it?"
"Like an undercover cop?" I joked.
She laughed and I was glad my joke had succeeded in cheering her up a little. "It's just, I'm firmly in the friend zone."
"And you don't know how to get out of it?"
"Totally. Would you ask him?"
"Sure. I'll scope it out."
"Covertly," she grinned at me.
"Covertly."
We merged onto the highway behind the bus and it was smooth sailing until we hit the beach. We both laughed when Walls came onto the radio and she made me sing along. It always felt weird hearing my own voice coming back at me out of a set of speakers, but it was slowly growing on me. So far, Simone hadn't brought up the coffee incident but I should have known she was biding her time to bring up boy chat again. It seemed to be her favourite thing.
"So, what's with you and Will?" She peered at me with one eye on the road.
"What are you talking about?" I said a little too quickly.
"You like him," she laughed at my reaction.
"Not gunna happen."
"Why not?"
"Why would it?" I grimaced.
"He'd be stupid not to go for you."
"I don't want a fling," I said, annoyed.
"Hmm," Simone said, in thought. "He does have that reputation doesn't he?"
"Which is why it will never happen."
"That was awkward as hell back there."
"One of the more stupid reactions I've had."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Zoe," Simone said kindly. "I've seen him looking at you."
"People do that when I'm on stage."
"No, not then."
I frowned. When would he look at me?
"The other night at the Hi-Fi back in Melbourne," she continued as if she'd read my thoughts.
"He was all over that girl."
"He was hardly paying attention to her. He was too busy seeing how it pissed you off."
I felt myself going red and thought about the death glares I'd shot at him.
"Will's into you."
"Too bad," I shot back with a little too much anger in my voice. "I don't want a fling. I don't want anything."
It was silent for a while after that and it seemed like Simone had got the hint. I did not want to talk about Will Strickland or any reference to my love life. Ever. Simone's next question caught me off guard, I almost didn't know what to say.
"Did something happen to you?" she asked carefully, breaking the silence with a resounding crash.
"Yeah," I heard myself saying from somewhere very far away. Simone had that effect on me. The one where she was easy to talk to.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I sighed, looking out the window at the countryside as it passed. "I went through a bad break up," I began. "Everyone believed him and not one of them believed me. I ended up with a broken arm and a broken life. If it wasn't for Dee, I don't know where I'd be now."
"Fuck, Zoe."
"It's much better now."
"Your arm…"
"Dee started the band to help me," I said, ignoring her. "I owe him everything."
"Well I'm glad," she said. "Cos, I got to be friends with you."
I looked over at her then and she glanced back to the road with a smile.
"We're besties, right?" she asked.
I let out a small laugh, the tension easing from my shoulders. "Besties."
CHAPTER TEN
Will
The early morning sun shone across the car park and it was all I could do to keep one foot in front of the other. We'd had a late one last night and I couldn't sleep at all, wondering where Zoe'd got to. After we'd finished playing, she'd disappeared and I didn't see her again after that.
Remembering her standing side of stage watching us, a shiver surged through me. The thought of her eyes on me set me on fire. I'd had this harmless crush on her for months and months, but the moment she was around in the flesh, it had turned me into this insatiable monster. I wanted every part of her.
It was such a sudden shift, I couldn't fathom how it had happened. Maybe with some people it just clicked.
Dee and Frank, two of the guys from The Devil's Tattoo were wresting with each other in front of the bus and Zoe and Chris were watching them, looking like I felt. I clutched onto both of the takeout coffees I'd wrangled from the cafe inside and kept walking. It was way too early for that kind of energy. It made me tired just looking at them.
Coming up behind them I said, "Got an extra coffee. Anyone want it?"
"Zoe wants it," Dee said and I looked at her and I swore she was annoyed.
She went to take it, but her hand shook so much, it slipped from her fingers and fell to the concrete and splashed over her boots.
"Shit," she cursed, her face flaming red.
"Aw, damn it," I hissed, jumping back a step.
She sunk into her hair again as she picked up the now empty cup and walked over to the bin. To my surprise, she stopped and talked to Simone, gesturing towards the 4WD that they'd rented.
"Zoe?" Dee called out to her and she looked up with a shrug as they walked towards the car.
"I'm riding with Simone today," she called back. "I'll entertain you tomorrow."
Disappointment flared and I knew she was trying to avoid me. For what reason, I wasn't sure, but I could only think about the fact that she didn't want to be near me and I felt like a hunk of crap.
Climbing onto the bus with the remainder of my coffee, I slumped into a seat towards the back. This hunk of junk was going to be our mode of transport for the next five-ish weeks and it was my least favourite part of touring. Long drives between cities cooped up in awkward seats. We were popular, but not popular enough to have a fancy bus with beds.
Bob was our driver again. We'd had him on our last cross-country tour and he was a good laugh. Dry as anything, but he could drive and knew how to tone us down when we
got too rowdy.
Without any distractions, my thoughts soon shifted to Zoe. I was tanking, big time. All I seemed to do was piss her off and I had no idea how to turn it around.
God, and the day before in the hotel lobby. What the hell was that? She was awkward. I was awkward. I knew I was because I had a hard on for her big time, but what was her excuse? Was she trying to shoot me down? Did I make her feel uncomfortable? I'd never had so much trouble trying to convince a woman to go out with me in my whole entire life. Before I made a bigger ass of myself, I high tailed it out of there the moment Dee had come over with her room key.
The whole night and this morning she'd avoided me like the plague. When I offered her that coffee just now, shit. Her hand shook so bad, she'd dropped it on the ground. I didn't care, but she seemed to be embarrassed as hell.
"What the hell are you doing, man?" Pete asked over the top of the seat.
Eyeing the guys from The Devil's Tattoo, I grimaced.
"You're bloody clueless."
"She hates me."
"I dunno about that," he said with a shrug. "But, whatever you think you're doing is mental."
I glared at him and he knew me well enough to let it go and slid back into his own seat.
Bloody hell, I was well and truly pussy whipped.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ZOE
"Sorry."
I turned around and found Dee behind me, scuffing his toe against the carpet. I know he's talking about the coffee incident and seriously, it's such a small thing to be upset about, I've already let it go.
"It's okay," I said.
We were backstage at the venue hanging out until it was time to go on. The Gold Coast was actually pretty nice if you could get past the whole 'Hollywood on the Gold Coast' slogan. It's packed with theme parks and wildlife sanctuaries, casinos and kilometres of beaches. We had a photo shoot scheduled for the next day down by the surf and I was actually looking forward to it for once.
"It was a stupid thing to do," Dee said.
"It's a stupid thing for me to get worked up about."
He smiled then, and it reminded me of when we were kids and he had something devious planned. "I've got a present for you."
"Really? What's the occasion? I mean, other than you being a doofus."
He chose to ignore me. "It's eight months today since we started the band."
"Really?" Went to show how fast things had turned around.
He put his hand into the back pocket of his battered jeans and pulled out a copy of our album, Do Me a Favour.
"Uh, thanks Dee, but I've already got one of those."
"Not this one," he declared, shoving it into my hands.
I opened it up, but it was exactly the same. "What am I meant to be doing with it?"
"Open the booklet up, Zo Zo." He looked extremely pleased with himself and I knew he'd done something while I was in the car with Simone.
I took it out of the cardboard cover and opened it up. It was full of black and white photos of us on stage, promo photos and candid’s. All the lyrics were written out in long hand which gave it that photocopied punk zine look. Towards the back there were a few pages of bright photos that were mostly white. In the spaces there were little messages written. One each from Dee, Frank and Chris.
To Zoe, The raddest chick and guitar player I know. Without you we wouldn't be here today. You are The Devil's Tattoo, babe. Love Frank.
Zoe, Honoured to have met you and count you as a best mate. Never change. xx Chris.
And below, was Dee's: To my best friend, Zoe Granger, aka Hot Legs. The day I met you was the day my life began. You're my sister and my family and I love you more than you'll ever know. To quote Bryan Adams, Everything I Do I Do It For You. Thank you for making my dream come true. And to quote Chris, NEVER CHANGE. xxxx Dee
I felt a tear slide down my cheek and suddenly Dee had me in his arms.
"Stop it," I said. "You're ruining my makeup."
"Love you, Zo Zo."
"Love you, Dee."
Thankfully the gig that night was one of our best to date. Seemed that making me angry made for a better show, you know, more raw emotion to filter into our songs. Didn't help that they were all about love and sex, but I'm sure the audience got their monies worth. I wondered what the review was going to be like. Dee was so exited about the photos he was running around like a two year old high on sugar, refreshing our Facebook page on his phone a million times.
For the first time, I didn't stick around to watch The Stabs, instead disappearing into the crowd where I was accosted by people telling me how awesome I was. I spent the rest of the night with Simone at the merch table and was even asked by a few people to sign their albums. If someone had asked me a year ago if I could have seen myself here as I was right now, I would have told them they were mad. No, scratch that. I would have turned red and run away. The Devil's Tattoo was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Period.
After the gig, the venue turned into a quasi-club that didn't close until three am, so we all decided to hang round and have a dance and a few drinks. We were all riding high after our performance and for the first time, I didn't care one iota about Will Strickland.
We were all gathered around a table, Dee, Frank, Chris and I, laughing and talking up a storm when I looked up and saw Dee's eyes darken in annoyance.
"What?" I elbowed him.
"It really pisses me off, the way he does that," he scowled and one look confirmed what I knew he was on about. Will's up to his old tricks again, taking advantage of the string of female fans that have hung around for the club.
It's no use hiding my ill-advised crush from the guys anymore. "I need to get over that like last century."
"You should get one up on him."
"Why?" I asked with a grimace. "It's not like he's got a crush on me."
"Totally does," Frank said. "How are you the only one that hasn't noticed?"
"Probably because I'm firmly planted in reality," I said with a roll of my eyes.
The Naked and Famous' Young Blood came on and Frank's eyes lit up with a wicked sparkle. "Come and dance with me, Zoe." He grabbed my hand and began to tug me towards the dance floor. "I know you like this song."
"And you can show one up on man-whore," Dee said, nodding towards the one place I didn't want to look.
"If you can't dirty dance with your band brothers to make jerk-off's jealous, then what are we good for?" Frank whispered in my ear.
I laughed the first genuine laugh since the tour had started and squeezed his hand. "Let's go, bro."
We disappeared into the mass of people on the dance floor and Frank positioned us under a blue spotlight. Grabbing me around the waist, he pulled me against the length of his muscled body and I didn't care in the slightest. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we moved to the bouncy song and sang along to the words, having the time of our lives. When it inevitably slowed down, he twirled me around and pulled me closer and we were cheek to cheek.
"Death stares at two o'clock on the rocket clock," he murmured into my ear and I knew he was loving it.
"You're such a bad influence, Frankey," I murmured back and he spun me around again like we were doing some kind of mashed up ballroom dance.
"I'm all about being used for my body," he wiggled his eyebrows.
I threw my head back and laughed and he took the opportunity to dip me low to the floor, before pulling me back up.
"These arms can do more than drum, Zo Zo," he smiled wickedly. When the song came to an end and melted into another bubbly electro number, Frank pulled me off the dance floor. "Let me get you another drink."
"You better," I laughed. "After that dance, I think I might be pregnant."
"Because I'm that good," he smirked. "Seriously, if you're preggers, you better not drink."
Thoroughly disgusted, I pushed him towards the bar. "Get me a drink, smart ass."
Dee shook his head at me as I stood next to him, my face flushed. "Mi
ssion accomplished," he winked.
"Was I on a mission?"
"You totally were. Don't deny it."
"Okay," I shrugged. "Maybe a little."
"If you were aiming to get one up on the sleaze bag, I think you just got a hundred up."
"I never knew Frank could dance like that."
"How is that man single?" Dee agreed like we were girlfriends chatting about cute boys.
I didn't really care about what Will thought, he was doing well enough on his own. Dancing with Frank was fun and we were friends and no matter what they thought, I just wanted to make the most of this tour with them, because who knew what would happen next. What I didn't want to acknowledge was that deep down, I actually wanted to make Will fumingly jealous. I wanted to see steam coming out of his ears. I wanted him to know what it felt like.
I still didn't believe what everyone was saying, that Will was into me. Even Simone had noticed. Was he really trying to make me jealous? If he was, he was going about it the wrong way.
"That guy is shameless." Dee shook his head, reading my thoughts. "I mean, I'm all for a good time, but that's a new level. I don't string 'em on."
Frank had came back while I was daydreaming. "He came up to me just now and I swear he was gunna hit me," Frank grimaced. "You've pussy whipped him, Zo."
"What are you on about?"
"I don't think he liked the idea of someone else touching you."
That made me madder than I thought it would. "He's hardly spoken to me this entire week and spends his free time flirting with randoms. Like it's his business what I do. I can dance with whoever I want, however I want."
"Calm down, Zoe," Dee threaded his arm through mine. "You're drunk."
"No, I'm not," I protested.
"If he's trying to make you jealous, looks like it backfired," Frank said, trying not to look me in the eye.
"Can't say I want to be him right now," Dee agreed.
Abruptly, I jerked away from him and ducked into the crowd before he could pull me back. Truthfully, I was a little drunk by this stage, so when I walked up to the bar and saw Will waiting to be served, I scowled at him with such force I even scared myself. When he turned around and saw the look on my face, he actually looked surprised.
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