by Anna Bloom
“As you wish.” Another kiss that makes me smile. “Elsa, go get your bag, Isaac will be waiting for us.” Freddy takes control and I just wander about aimlessly until Freddy has us ready to leave.
I can’t bear the thought of my baby racing a car. The last week I’ve been haunted by nightmares of Freddy’s crash nearly twenty years ago. It’s hard for me. I lost Freddy for ten years because of that accident, we may have survived the incident together but the ramifications it had splintered us apart and stopped us from being the family that we now are. Watching my son getting into a car is going to be the single hardest thing I ever have to do. Harder than watching Freddy in the hospital. Harder than living without him for ten years.
The drive to the track is silent, just Elsa, tunelessly singing her out of tune Disney classics as I focus on breathing and functioning. When we’ve parked, Freddy leans into my space, catching my face in his hands. “He’s going to be great, he’s far more talented than I ever was.”
This is a lie. Freddy is naturally gifted with driving, believe me, I’ve watched enough of them over the years to know, but I also know he’s trying to reassure me, so I smile.
“I know. You should be proud.”
“We both should.” Freddy’s eyes crinkle with his smile and my heart swells and beats as it always does with him.
The day Freddy rescued Isaac from the woods and saved my boy, was the day that changed our lives. From that point on we were never anything other than a family. A year later I was divorced, and married. Married to the right guy. The only man for me.
“Amber Bale, would you go out on a date with me later?”
“A date? What about the kids?”
“Taken care of, I feel that twenty years can’t be ignored.”
I chuckle. “Twenty years! Don’t say that, it makes me feel old!”
“Never! Come on, lets go and see Isaac before he has to get ready.”
We walk through the crowds, greeting the friends we’ve made together over the years; in the Bale & Son’s private function area we find Danni and Grant. Belle, their ten year old, is sulking in the corner, her fingers flying over the keypad of her super-sized smart phone. I offer her a wave and she sneers back at me. Yep, I don’t miss that age at all. Obviously Elsa will be completely different.
“Good morning?” I laugh and kiss my sister in law on the cheek.
“Don’t even ask.”
“I warned you it was coming but you didn’t believe me.” I snigger and grab a glass of bubbly off the table.
“Yep, you wait for that one to hit double numbers.” She motions her head to Elsa, still clinging her arms around her daddy’s neck. It won’t last long, and soon, she will be running through the crowd making friends with everyone. I watch as Freddy smooth’s her hair with one hand as he talks with his brother.
My God, I love that man.
I feel a presence behind me, and turning, I find Isaac hovering in his blue racing suit. A full beam lights my face as I throw my arms around him, he is much taller than me now, he towers over me like his father does. “You made it, Mum.”
“You know I wouldn’t miss it.” I brush the hair out of his eyes but he flicks my hands away in embarrassment.
“What?”
“Mum, there is someone I’d like you to meet,” he trails off uncertainly and I stare in confusion as a brunette girl steps out from behind him.
“Hi, I’m Emma,” she introduces with a broad smile.
“Uh.” I have nothing to say. I watch in astonished silence as he slides his arm around her back and pulls her into his side. “Hi, I’m Amber.”
Freddy walks up, his eyes flickering as he takes in my shocked expression. I can’t get it to look normal. Isaac has a girlfriend he hasn’t told us about? A serious one if he has brought her to a race.
“Hi, I’m Isaac’s dad.” He leans in and gives her a hug.
“Mum, put your face back.” Isaac grins his father’s smile at me.
“I’m sorry.” I manage to shake my shock off. “I wasn’t expecting to see any of Isaac’s friends here today,” I say.
“She’s not a friend, Mum, she’s my girlfriend, she means the world to me.” He kisses her full on the mouth in front of me.
Excuse me, I’m right here.
“Anyway, I’ve got to go and get ready, will you keep Emma company?” He kisses me goodbye and then her again. And then again.
Ugh.
Danni, who’s been watching all this play out, her amusement evident in her eyes, steps up and invites Emma to go grab a drink.
“You okay?” Freddy asks, leaning in close and talking low into my ear, normally a fail-safe way to get my pulse racing. Not right now.
“What was that?” I ask.
“I think that was first love.” He pulls me in closer, despite the crowd, and kisses me on the mouth. As always, my lips open under his.
"Well, if he thinks he’s going to ruin all his plans because of her he’s got another thing coming.”
Freddy puts his hands firmly on my shoulders and lowers to look in my eyes, our noses touching, his Eskimo kiss.
“Really, Amber?”
“What?”
“Really?”
His hands hold me still while I think over what I’ve just said. In my mind, I run through the last twenty years, the bad choices, the wrong words of advice, the missed opportunities and the regret. Then I focus on the love I feel now, the love I never had when I was young. I start to giggle.
“It’s a mother’s prerogative . . .” I start to say, but his mouth quickly closes on mine and I let my life and future just play out however it’s supposed to as I lean into him, this love of mine.
~The End~
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Anna Bloom is a contemporary romance writer who likes to write about life and how it actually happens. Whilst working on The Uni Files and other projects, she is a wife and mother, and also spends time working in a local school where she reads books to the children whether they like it or not.
Contact the Author @; [email protected]
On twitter @annabloombooks
Or visit the website www.annabloomwrites.com for updates on the series and other projects.
Also from Anna Bloom:
GONE
Read on for an extract.
Rebecca Walters harbours a dark secret, and as the fifty-three bangles she wears on her wrists as a self-imposed sentence of guilt remind her, she can’t even begin to consider moving on. Not after what happened on that night six months ago… a night which she can’t remember and yet managed to change her life forever.
Her parents, however, have other ideas and offer her a deal: if she can behave herself in Cornwall for just two weeks without getting into trouble, she can go to University and try and make a fresh start with her life. Easier said than done.
When Rebecca comes across Joshua Adams, a man equally haunted by past tragedies, on a moonlit beach, both of their lives are destined to change forever, and when the girl made out of the sun meets the boy made out of the moon and sea, anything can happen… but will the knowledge of their murky pasts bring them together or drive them apart?
Gone explores the power of secrets and the ways in which they can burrow their way into people’s lives. Mixing gritty drama with traditional romance, this novel takes a look at two people who need to overcome their dark pasts in order to continue into their bright futures, but will their futures be spent alone or with each other?
Will Rebecca finally be able to claim her freedom? Will she stay and fight to be the girl she found on the sandy beaches of Cornwall or is she destined to keep running and hiding from a past that won’t stay Gone? One thing’s for certain: either way, nothing will ever be the same again.
Available now on AMAZON
The Uni Files: Book I
THE ART OF LETTING GO
For Lilah McCannon, life has taken a bit of a wrong turn. Engaged to a guy she is not in love with and stuck in a job
with her tyrannical father as her boss, life has definitely not turned out the way she expected.
At twenty-five years old, Lilah knows that she has a simple choice: live the life she has created or change it.
Enrolling on a course at the local University, Lilah sets out with some clear rules to ensure her success at being a grown-up. No alcohol, no cigarettes, no boys, and no going home. But the last thing she anticipates is meeting Ben Chambers, the lead singer of a local band. With Ben, it’s instant, it’s hot, and it’s deep, but when Ben is offered the opportunity of a lifetime and it looks like his future lies on a different path to hers, Lilah has some heart-rending decisions to make.
With the academic year slipping by too quickly, Lilah faces a barrage of new challenges. Will she ever make it up the library stairs without having a heart attack? Can she handle a day on campus without drinking vodka? Will she ever manage to read a history book without falling asleep? Most of all, will she be able to make the ultimate sacrifice and learn The Art of Letting Go?
Available now at online booksellers.
The Uni Files: Book Two
THE ART OF KEEPING FAITH
Lilah and Ben. They are meant to be a thing.
Well, they were. The best thing ever. That was until Lilah decided to teach herself a lesson and let go of Ben since she’s learned The Art of Letting Go.
Now it’s a new academic year, and Lilah has it all to play for and it all to lose as she battles scary lecturers, evil PR girls, and her own inability to make the right decision at the right time.
Life has moved on for Lilah and her friends, and life off campus is more complicated than any of them would have guessed. As the reality of being second-year students sets in and the study starts to build up, cracks begin to appear in the very fabric of their friendships. There is a chance that none of them are going to complete Year Two in one piece.
Facing down her worst enemy, herself, Lilah has to try and change her own past mistakes when she realizes that the only way she is going to get the future she wants is if she manages to learn The Art of Keeping Faith in herself.
The Art of Keeping Faith is the second year in The Uni File Series and continues Lilah McCannon’s diary as she searches for love, tries to find and earn trust, and ultimately discovers who she is really meant to be.
Sometimes the only way to meet your future is to face your past.
Available now on at online booksellers.
LONDON
London
1st August 2013
Dear E,
Remember how you always said that one day I would push Dad too far. Remember how you said that I would always need you about to make sure it didn’t happen, to keep me on the straight and narrow.
It finally happened. I’m in two minds about whether you should have been there. You would have gone mental. I would even have shocked you. But in a way I’m glad you weren’t around to see my lowest moment. I’ve got another new name. Facebook went crazy. Dad shut it down in the end. I didn’t even know he knew how to do that. He said he didn’t want me seeing it, but what I think he meant was that he didn’t want Emily to see it. I don’t either.
Mum’s been crying non-stop. It’s killing me to hear it. Death by a million teardrops. I wish I could cry. I haven’t shed a tear since the night you left. I haven’t really done anything since you left. I’ve barely even left my room. Well you know that. I’ve written you every day. Yesterday I decided to venture out and it ended in disaster. Bad. Bad disaster.
Now we’re moving. I don’t have the address yet. I don’t even know where we are going. No one is really telling me anything but as soon as I know, I will write you and let you know. It’s probably going to be the Outer Hebrides or something. Oh God, Mum and Dad are going to make me live in the Highlands to try and keep me out of trouble.
I’ve promised them I’m going to do it. For two weeks I am going to prove to them that I’m not always going to justify the names people call me. Dad says if I manage it he will pay my Uni fees. I need that money, E. I need to escape.
It’s just two weeks. I can do that can’t I? What do you think?
Miss you.
B.
xx
FOURTEEN DAYS TO GO
Rebecca
“Josh, come on! Don’t be such a girl.”
I grind an elbow into warm sand as I lean up to find out who Josh is, and why he is a girl.
Instantly I feel on edge. There are six guys running down the beach, surf boards under their arms.
I don’t want to talk to anyone, or even be seen by anyone. I was just looking for some peace and quiet.
I should have stayed in my room. That way I can’t hurt anyone and no one can hurt me.
I breathe a sigh of relief as five of the guys dive straight into the sea, completely ignoring my exposed spot on the sand. Then I offer myself a rueful laugh as I realise that these people are used to seeing strangers on a beach. I won’t hold any interest for them, yet. Not until they realise who I am and the rumour mill starts up again. I will be long gone by then.
It’s the bastard thing about Social Media. It’s impossible for people not to find out who you are. No matter how much you might want them not to.
Facebook is the bane of my life. I know I’ve made mistakes. I don’t need status updates about it.
I wonder which label will attach itself to me first?
I’m a girl with lots of labels and I’m not talking about current fashion trends.
Allowing myself a slow exhalation of air I repeat the words that are currently keeping me going. I will be gone soon. Soon enough.
I watch as the six guys splash through the waves. They keep their wetsuits rolled down and give me what would be an arresting eyeful of toned abs, if my eyes weren’t distracted by something else. The sixth one.
Josh, the girl.
He doesn’t look that girly to me. He looks broad-shouldered and golden. More than that, he has long thick dreadlocks loosely tied in a band at the base of his neck. There is something totally mesmerising about them.
I don’t want to be interested, because I don’t do the whole drooling over guys thing, but I can’t prevent myself from shifting onto both my elbows, to get a closer look. While his friends all circle the water like sharks on their boards, his focus is only on the sand. He snatches up a stick and starts to doodle.
I watch him for an age. He never takes his eyes off the sand, which he scores with purposeful and graceful strokes. I completely forget that I am even sitting on a beach, surrounded by strange men. I slide my glasses up onto the top of my head so I can see him clearly without an orange tint.
What is he drawing?
For the first time in two weeks I find myself interested in something, anything, other than the bad stuff I have in my head. I edge up off the sand, ready to move down the beach to try and find out what he is creating. Before I can come up with a reason to walk down by the water’s edge, he jumps up and throws down the stick, sliding one foot across the drawing. As he turns to pick up his wetsuit, his eyes flick over in my direction. He gazes at me for a long moment, his face motionless, before slowly lifting one half of his mouth at me.
Damn it. My glasses are still on my head and he can clearly see me, open mouthed and fixated. I wouldn’t exactly say I am drooling over him. More intrigued by the doodling, and maybe the dreadlocks.
I can’t help it. Even though I know he knows I am watching him, my eyes stay focused on him as he slides his feet into his wetsuit and stretches it up his thighs. He is just about to start zipping his suit when I see a flash of a tattoo on his hip, just under the waist band of his board shorts.
I want to know what that tattoo is, almost as much as I want to know what he was drawing in the sand. But I know I’m not going to find out.
What would I say to him?
“Hi. My name is Rebecca. My parents brought me here because I’m a very bad girl and need to be kept from temptation. . .”
Yeah, tha
t’s just never going to happen.
I hang about for another couple of minutes and watch him run out into the sea, he quickly paddles past his friends, which makes them jeer as he starts looking for a wave to ride.
With a sigh I start to put my boots on and gather my stuff. I brush the sand from my skin, watching it fly into the air like miniscule beads of glass catching the light. I keep my eyes firmly away from the sea and its occupants as I turn and head back up the path to the beach car park. It’s time to head back to the cottage for my daily bollocking. I may as well get it over with.
In two weeks I will be leaving this town, just as quickly as I arrived. I’m going to go somewhere where no one knows me, where no one will ever know me, and I’m going to leave my family to live their lives in peace without me. My only hope is that I manage to make it through the two weeks without anyone asking me why I am here, and just why it is that I have to leave again so soon.
Joshua
Doodling in the Sand
It’s one of my favourite past times. Doodling in the sand. You can draw anything, and then a few minutes later it will be completely erased. No record of it to be found anywhere. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if we had that ability with our memories. Wash and erase.
Today I have drawn butterflies. Ironic really; beautiful sweeping butterflies with their freedom to fly and me unable to deal with my broken heart and set myself free.
Dan and others are larging it about in the sea. There is a girl on the beach by herself, so they have gone into a masculine over drive of flexing to try and impress her. I didn’t bother looking at her that closely as we walked to our rock, the rock we have sat by for five years as we all learnt to surf and drink sea water. I could see a bikini clad body flat against the sand but that is all I registered. I really dislike holiday makers and try to avoid them at all costs.
