Lamis and Peshal looked at each other.
“What do you mean?” Peshal asked him, crouching down to his eye level.
“Having two mums,” he said.
Peshal stood up again, and turned away from him. Lamis could see Peshal was holding her hands over her mouth.
“Lots of people have two mums, Rendir. Or two dads. Some little boys and girls even have more than two.”
“I don’t like it,” he insisted. “They always make fun of me.”
“That will stop; I promise. One day soon those children will be taught the Principles, and they’ll begin to understand where they have gone wrong. Why they can’t always trust their instincts. They’ll stop.”
“But I don’t like it now.”
Lamis sighed to herself, wishing that this conversation could have waited just a couple more Solars before it came up. Waited until he understood emotions a little more clearly.
“You don’t choose your family, Ren.”
“You did.”
“That’s different. You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“You always say that.”
Lamis resisted the temptation to snap at him, and leaned away to take Peshal’s hand. She pulled her wife close, and they both crouched down to Rendir.
“Ren, listen,” Lamis said. “Your family will always be there for you. You look out for one another, and you love each other without conditions. Do you understand what I mean?”
He stared at her sullenly, but he didn’t answer back.
“As you get older, you’ll meet people who you love dearly, and they’ll become part of your family too. And you always, always, always protect your family. But what you don’t do is choose them, Ren. You don’t choose.”
Rendir stared into the middle distance, as if not willing to commit to saying he understood.
But Peshal squeezed her hand just a little bit tighter.
— 06 —
Change of Plans
The Vavilov was within a mere hundred metres when it came to a relative stop alongside Disputer. Caden leaned on a polished rail in one of the carrier’s pristine observation passageways, looking out over the research vessel and wondering what its last mission had been.
Next to him, also staring out at the bulky ship, Santani was in a world of her own. If her gaze could have bored through metal, the Vavilov would have been in real trouble.
“Worst case scenario,” Caden started slowly, “is that you are discharged, right?”
Santani took a moment to answer, as if she were gathering her thoughts back from the depths of space before she spoke. “Assuming they don’t think I was criminally negligent, yes. However if they do, I could end up in prison.”
“I really don’t think it will come to that,” Caden said. “You can justify your actions. It might be that some desk-flying admirals will disagree with those actions, but you were acting with the Empire’s best interests at heart. Not to mention those of your colleagues.”
She looked at him with an expression that he had come to learn meant ‘you don’t know how these things really work, do you?’
“But even if they convict you, the Empress can intervene in sentencing matters. She’d make them commute it.”
She managed a smile. “I don’t think the Empress would know who I am, never mind do something like that for me.”
“Really She would be doing it for me.”
“Ah.”
“Of course that would probably just mean house arrest instead of prison, but it’s a start.”
“I thought you came here to cheer me up?”
“That was the plan, yes. Sorry.”
Her smile faded quickly, and he could almost feel the abiding sadness in her.
“Maybe it was a mistake to visit sickbay so soon.”
“How could I not?” She said. “They’re my crew. My people.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right.”
Before she could answer, the ship’s comm system whistled, and a message was passed out summoning Santani to the command deck.
“What does she want with me now?” Santani said.
“Probably seen you walking around in an un-fleetly fashion.”
“Would you mind coming with me? I can’t take another dose of her right now, not on my own.”
“No problem.”
They started walking along the passageway, back towards the hatch that would take them to the deck interior. Santani still limped on her injured leg.
Outside, in the darkness, Vavilov accepted a transfer umbilicus from Disputer.
They walked in silence to the command deck, occasionally passing crew who hurried by quietly on their own business. It was the first shift — early morning by ship’s time — and most people looked to be thoroughly preoccupied, doubtless wrapped up in planning their daily duties.
Until boarding this ship, Caden had not realised just how comfortable and welcoming the atmosphere in Hammer had been. Here, those few people who even acknowledged them did so only to query their identities.
At least they’re security-conscious, he thought.
On the command deck, the XO waved them through to the wardroom without so much as a greeting. Thande was already seated behind the desk, and she rose as they entered the compartment. Caden saw immediately that there was bad news written in her face.
“Please, take a seat,” Thande said. “I’m afraid this is not going to be easy.”
Caden noted that she was directing her attention mostly towards Santani as she spoke.
“What’s happened?” Santani asked.
“We just received word from the Seawall operations team at Laeara. I regret to inform you that the Stiletto went down in battle.”
Santani stifled a gasp. “The Admiral?”
“Admiral Pensh is officially listed as KIA.”
Caden could almost feel the grief sinking into Santani. The wardroom seemed darker somehow.
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of this news, Aker. I know you’ve worked with Admiral Pensh for a long time.”
There was a long silence, and Caden felt as though nobody knew what to say. Had Santani received this news on any other day, matters might have been different, but after losing her own ship… it was tragedy piled on tragedy. Words seemed insufficient.
“Thank you for letting me know,” Santani managed eventually.
“Obviously this does change things a little,” Thande said quietly. “The 951st Battalion were assigned to Stiletto, so we have nowhere to return Bravo Company to.”
Santani remained silent, and Caden could tell that the words were drifting over her.
“What’s the plan?”
“The Second Fleet is now being commanded temporarily from the Yatagan. Until there’s a clearer picture of how the remaining ships will re-organise, and until they come clear of the combat zone, Bullseye can disembark at Laeara with Captain Santani and her crew. Call it unscheduled shore leave.”
“I’m sure they’ll appreciate that. For my part, I’ve received orders to go after a fugiti—“
Thande’s link chimed and, without waiting for Caden to finish, she tapped it to accept the channel. “No, it’s fine, Commander Yuellen. Go ahead.”
Caden watched her face fall, and wondered how that was possible given that her expression had already been as grave as any he had seen before. The XO’s message clearly carried bad tidings.
“I see. Send it to my holo.”
Thande tapped at the panel in front of her, and her eyes flicked rapidly over reports and charts.
“More bad news?”
“The Viskr have attacked Mibes,” Thande said. “They have a blockade in high orbit, and may already have armour on the ground.”
“Shit.”
“We’re being diverted to join the counter-offensive, so there’s no time to take anyone to Laeara now. I’m afraid, Captain Santani, that you will have to bear with me for a little while longer.”
“I understand, Captain Than
de. Mibes clearly takes priority.”
“There’s a databurst for your eyes only, Shard Caden. I’m forwarding it to you now.”
Caden opened the packet on his own holo, and skimmed across the text.
– DIVERSION –
Travel to Mibes.
Extract listed personnel.
Resume Castigon mission on completion.
– PRIORITY ONE –
[Restricted Data]
Caden read the brief message, bit his lip, and read it again. He had not expected to be turned away from his manhunt so soon, given the tone with which the Chamberlain had delivered the order, but with Caden already being present on Disputer the diversion did make logistical sense.
The restricted data that was attached to the message was short, direct, and listed in bullet points. Not too taxing, he thought.
“Nothing worrisome, I trust?” Thande said.
Caden looked up, and smiled.
“It looks like you’ll be bearing with me as well, Captain. For a little while longer.”
• • •
For once, Throam woke first. He opened his eyes to see the blank, grey bulkhead staring lovelessly back at him, and rolled over to face Eilentes.
She was facing him, breathing softly, with her eyes closed. Hair trailed across her face and spread over the pillow; black rivulets on an Arctic canvas.
He brushed the hair back gently, and she sighed. Then, slowly, her eyes opened.
“Hey,” Throam said.
“Hey. What time is it?”
“Early. First shift just came on.”
“Shit. I’m supposed to be meeting Norskine down on the range.”
Eilentes kissed him quickly on the forehead, then lifted the sheet away as she rolled over. Swinging her legs off the bunk, she dropped it behind her.
“Didn’t know you two were getting all pally,” Throam said as she walked away.
“Well, us gun girls have to stick together,” she said. “Not jealous are you?”
“Little bit, yeah. Was hoping you’d stick together with me a bit more.”
She smiled awkwardly as she disappeared behind the wash enclosure door. He heard her sitting down, than calling out to him. Loudly, to mask her noises. She had always kept some modesty for herself.
“You’ll get time enough later, babe.”
“Can’t Norskine wait a bit longer? It’s not like she’ll have nothing to do. It is a range.”
“Oh Rendir, come on. That’s rude. You wouldn’t want to be stood up, would you?”
“You wouldn’t stand me up,” he said. “I’m too damned hot to stand up.”
She laughed, and there was the sound of water flowing through the basin. Splashes.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
“You don’t think I’m hot?”
“You know I do.”
“So you mean you’d stand me up?”
“No.” She reappeared in the cabin, towelling her face, neck and arms as she spoke. “I wouldn’t put myself in a position where I was supposed to meet you, but made you wait while I fucked about with someone else.”
“She won’t mind. She’s a trooper. Leave her to it and fuck about with this hot, sexy-ass someone else.”
“Okay, you’re starting to annoy me now.” She gestured towards him with the towel, a frown creasing her forehead. “I made an arrangement and I mean to keep it.”
She tossed the towel back into the enclosure, and started pulling clothes out of the kit bag she had not yet bothered to unpack.
Throam watched her dress. She was yanking the clothes onto her body, silent, avoiding looking at him. He waited, laying on his side, fully expecting the next thing he heard to be ‘—and another thing.’
But she stayed silent, and the sweaty air started to feel thin and frigid. He wondered what it was exactly that was so terrible about wanting to spend more time in bed with someone, and came up blank. Most of the time when he had sex with people, or said he wanted to, they didn’t tend to grumble about it. He was accustomed to a certain level of giddy enthusiasm.
Eilentes was on her way to the hatch before Throam decided one of them had to break the deadlock.
“So I’ll see you soon then?”
“And another thing,” she said, turning back towards him, “I’m not just some fuck-bucket you can hold onto because it’s easy. Learn to have a conversation, for fuck’s sake.”
He sat up on the bunk. “Where in the Deep did that come from?”
There was a flash of realisation across her face, the angry mask slipping for a second. Whatever she had been stewing over, Throam knew her well enough to see that she had not actually planned to bring it up now.
“Well, I tried to say the other night. But it kind of got superseded by the whole Gendin thing.”
“Getting back together? That?”
“Yeah, Rendir. That.”
“That thing you said you were sorry to bring up?”
Eilentes leaned against the hatch, sighed deeply, and sank down slowly until she was sat on the deck with her feet planted in front of her.
She spoke first. “I didn’t, Rendir. I said I was sorry to have a go at you about Gendin. Look, the whole thing with your son is your business, but it’s important for me to know where I stand, yeah?”
“You’re gonna be late for Norskine.” Throam rolled back towards the bulkhead. “Don’t want you blaming me for it.”
“I’ll tell her I need an hour.”
Throam heard Eilentes tapping out a quick message on her holo. Moments ago he had just wanted her back in bed with him; now, nothing would please him more than if she hurried off to nail some targets with Norskine.
“So… what exactly is this?” She said.
He succumbed to the inevitable, and rolled onto his back so he could look at her. “How do you mean?”
“You and me. Are we back together, or are we just sharing a bunk?”
“Same thing, isn’t it?”
He gathered from the look on her face that it definitely wasn’t.
“Seriously… I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say what you feel.”
“I like shagging you?”
“Rendir…”
“I really like shagging you? What? Throw me a bone here.”
“Oh my worlds. Come on, you can do better than that. At least try.”
Throam tried to imagine what he would say in her position. Thanks for fucking me so good, big boy. No, that probably wasn’t right; he knew that much.
“Okay, this isn’t going to go anywhere. I’ll just ask you. Where do you see this going? Sex on tap, until one of us gets transferred or killed? Or do you think it’s destined to turn into something more?”
“Suppose it might—”
“You suppose? What about… what about what you want to happen?”
“I’ve not really thought about it.”
“Maybe you should. I’d really like it if you did. I don’t like uncertainty, Rendir. I need to know where this is going.”
Throam turned the question over in his mind: what did he want? Truth be told, he had not spent any time thinking about his own future for a long while now, never mind his future with anyone else. Euryce had popped back into his world, and bunking up with her again had simply felt right.
Maybe that was the point.
“See, here’s my problem,” Eilentes continued. “We were seeing each other for almost an entire Solar when you were assigned to the Embolden. It was just like this is now: duties, sex, training, sex. We never took it anywhere. Then you left and… and I hardly heard anything from you.”
“I thought you liked it like that—“
“I spent a long time wondering if it had really meant anything, Rendir. A long time. Now we’ve met up again it’s like we were never apart, and I… well I mean it’s not bad exactly, but it’s like we’re back to square one, you know? And now you tell me you went off after you left me and… and had
a kid with someone else, just like that. So I have to answer my own question, see? Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you? It looks like the answer to that is ‘no’ Ren, it really does.”
She stopped, as if she needed to let the statement hang in the air. Throam waited for a second, taking it all in. He had known this conversation was inevitable, and that it could only have run along these rails.
And that was what he had been afraid of.
• • •
Caden glanced up from the charts, looking towards the wardroom entrance. The XO met his eyes, nodded curtly as he entered, and went to his captain’s side.
“We’ll arrive at Mibes in four hours, Captain. I thought you’d want to know.”
“Thank you, Commander Yuellen. Carry on.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
He turned on his heel to leave the wardroom, eyeing their work area, and Caden found himself wondering why Yuellen could not have simply used the comm instead of interrupting them with his physical presence.
He carried on from where he had paused when the XO entered.
“Captain Santani would have been hard-pressed to support the Woe Tantalum landing without the loan of Bravo Company. They were only just enough, and I don’t want a repeat of that. What assets can you send to the surface?”
“This is a Glory-class heavy carrier, not a piddling battleship,” said Thande. “Our role profile is to support ground as well as fleet. So we’re carrying pretty much everything, including a full MAGA battalion.”
“Everything?”
“You name it, we can supply it. Polybots, area denial systems, swarmers, gunships, Kodiak transports, Gorilla platforms… take your pick.”
“I’d bet Throam would love to take you up on that.”
“He’s welcome to indulge himself at the expense of the Viskr occupation.”
“I’d rather he kept things low key, seeing as he’ll be with me. But thanks for the offer.”
“Define ‘low key’.”
“A small, quiet team, with a modest support unit. Barely noticeable against the backdrop of a counter-invasion.”
“I get the feeling you’ve planned your side of this operation already.”
“More or less. To be honest the objective they’ve given me is fairly straightforward. I’ll take Bullseye with me; they’re essentially orphaned, and it will make your commanders’ jobs easier.”
Books One to Three Omnibus (Armada Wars) Page 35
