“Hey Daddy, guess what we watched today?” Before I could reply, he answered his own question. “We watched the NASA channel in science class today and guess what?”
Again he was quicker on the draw than I in answering the question. “The scientists say there is a magnetic storm heading toward Urf, and it will be here in a couple of weeks!” Seth is an intelligent six-year-old but he does have a slight speech impediment. It was cute when he was younger, and Ann and I always thought he would grow out of it, but we have recently come to recognize that he might need speech therapy. I was experienced enough with his dialect to recognize that there was a magnetic storm heading toward Earth.
“That’s interesting,” I said.
I had heard a snippet on the radio earlier but I hadn’t really paid attention. Meteor showers, eclipses, visible planets and comets, it seems like we have some new phenomenon to observe on a weekly basis. So, I didn’t believe this one would be any different, maybe some colorful lights in the sky for a night or two and even then it would probably only be visible in Nova Scotia, Oslo, Norway, or Timbuktu. Conway, Arkansas, never has anything exciting like that happen.
“We may not be able to see it but it might interfere with TV or rabio signals,” he said as he pointed at the radio dial.
I barely even heard him because I noticed another kid about Seth’s age dart into the street just as I was pulling away from the curb. I was reminded of Seth’s earlier similar lack of caution.
“Seth, how many times have I talked to you about running into the street? I am going to have to ground you tonight to make sure you get the point. Do you understand?”
He frowned and nodded his head gloomily. After a few moments of silence, Seth replied so silently I could barely understand him.
“Okay, Daddy … could we stop at the blue store so I can get Momma a present?”
The blue store is how he referred to Walmart, one of his favorite places in the world outside of Chuck E. Cheese. He called it that because of its blue logo and saying the word Walmart played hell on his speech impediment.
I felt a knot form in my stomach and it started to work its way up my throat. Today is Ann’s birthday and we were supposed to have a family dinner tonight at her favorite restaurant. I had just committed myself to go into work. I don’t think I have been available for a birthday celebration in at least three years. The last birthday party I remember, including my own, was Seth’s third birthday. That stands out so clearly because I was late due to a meeting at work and had to pick up the cake. My tardiness distracted me enough that I did not inspect the cake at the bakery when I picked it up. It wasn’t discovered until the box was opened in the middle of the table surrounded by three-year-olds and moms that I had gotten the wrong cake. Seth frowned as I dumbly read the birthday greeting aloud: “Happy 50th Birthday, Ralph.”
“I-I don’t have time, buddy,” I said. “I have to go to work, something really big tonight, your mother will understand.”
I felt like a jerk but I justified it by believing that Ann would understand. She always did … or at least I thought she did. I believed she would appreciate the fact that my absence tonight would give her delayed gratification of her birthday wishes. The bonus I would be getting would enable us to take the dream vacation we have talked about for years but never acted on, or perhaps even enable us to move to the new affluent area of Conway known as Jefferson Place. Yes, it was for the good of the family, I rationalized. It was worth a few sacrifices. In actuality, I don’t believe Ann and Seth shared my justification.
Seth frowned and fumbled with the strap of his backpack. I saw a tear start to bead in the corner of his eye but I was distracted by another phone call from my boss. We were three-quarters of the way home when my call ended. Seth had dried his tears but still looked thoroughly disappointed. He took me completely off guard by his next question.
“Daddy, how do you commit suibside?”
I gaped at him in disbelief. My shock caused me to veer into the next lane, almost side swiping a Volkswagen Beetle.
“Suicide … where did you hear that word, son?” I stammered.
“J.C. Stensland died today; Father Wilson met with us in chapel to talk about it.”
J.C. Stensland was a teen heartthrob pop star. Seth listened to Radio Disney where they usually played a lot of his music but I never thought that Seth was a fan. He usually only got excited about the show tunes from his favorite Disney movies. It seems I had heard something on the radio earlier about the music star committing suicide. The details were sketchy but it was believed that he shot himself in the head.
“What did Father Wilson say?” I asked, my jaw clenching tight. I understood the Catholic position on suicide but I hoped that the priest had not gotten too graphic with his discussion.
I still needed to have a private meeting with Father Wilson about his, in my opinion, explicit lesson about abortion. I share the same views on the subject matter as the good Father and the Church, but we have a different point of view sometimes on age appropriate discussions.
“He reminded us that suibside is a sin and anyone who does it is going to Hell. Is J.C. in Hell, Daddy?”
My jaw clenched again and my ulcer, which had not given me a problem in months, decided to rear its ugly head. It sounded as if the line had once again been crossed, but when was I going to have time to meet with the Father? My calendar is booked solid for at least a month. It is now mid-April and school will be out for summer in a couple of weeks.
“I don’t know, Seth. Only God can determine that.”
“Doesn’t Father Wilson talk to God?” Seth asked with a frown.
I decided it was best to change the subject. “Hey, what did Mr. Lax think about your airplane project?” I asked with exaggerated enthusiasm. Seth had spent two weeks working on a project that displayed World War II airplanes.
Seth beamed with pride. “A-plus,” he said with two thumbs up.
“Good job, buddy!” I reached over to ruffle his hair. His chest puffed out as he beamed from ear to ear.
“I told him we were going to see them for real at the Air and Space Moozem in Washaton as soon as school is done!” he boasted.
I had promised Seth to take him to the Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C., as soon as school is out. However, I hadn’t anticipated the big deal closing with the company in Memphis. I had a habit of breaking promises to him like that, but he had to understand that my hard work pays for his video games, toys, and everything else that is special to him. Postponing our trip would be worth it in the long run. We would take the trip later in the summer; it would be even better because we would have more money for Busch Gardens and the beach. Deep down I knew that was a load of crap but I would never admit it to myself and especially not to Seth. I was too self-absorbed to realize that what was truly special to him was time spent with his habitually absent father.
I said nothing because I knew whatever came out of my mouth would be a lie. Instead I just smiled and winked at Seth but my ulcer made me pay for my insincerity. I reached for my bottle of Zantac in the center console and popped a couple of pills, then chased them with the warm remains of my morning Mountain Dew.
Ann had not returned from the doctor when we got home. I parked in the driveway, not bothering to pull into the garage since I would be leaving again shortly. Seth made a beeline for his room upstairs as soon as I opened the front door. He dropped his backpack on the couch as usual and bolted up the stairs.
I got another call from my boss to remind me of everything I needed to bring to the meeting tonight. I hardly noticed Seth when he came back downstairs to retrieve tape and scissors from a kitchen drawer. I was completely oblivious to his presence as I walked around with my phone on my shoulder as I made a cream cheese and cucumber sandwich. Otherwise, I would have probably scolded him as he ran up the stairs with the scissors. He was excited again.
I was still on the phone when Ann got home. She smiled and kissed me on the cheek and then excitedly hurried upstairs herself. I acknowledged her with a smile and a pat on the behind as Don rattled on about building specifications for our new line of manufactured homes. I was momentarily distracted as I watched her ascend the stairs; she was as fine walking away as walking toward me. Her silky chestnut hair, olive complexion, her long legs that went all the way up to her firm … well, I am a lucky man to have a woman so gorgeous and understanding. But sometimes it’s not enough to understand what things mean; sometimes you have to understand what things don’t mean. That was Ann’s gift, to appreciate and understand the present, and my curse that I did not.
It didn’t occur to me at first, until a few minutes after she closed the bedroom door, what she was doing, but by then it was too late. She was dressing for our dinner out, the dinner for her birthday, the dinner I would not be attending.
I got off the phone with Don as Ann was coming back downstairs. Her black dress accentuated every perfect feature. It made it much harder to say what I was about to say. She knew me so well I could see the comprehension wash across her face like a dark cloud before I even opened my mouth.
“You have a meeting tonight?” she asked quietly.
I nodded my head and put my hand on her shoulder.
“You remember that Memphis deal? Well, it’s official! Don and I have to work on it tonight.”
She nodded her head and forced a smile. “That’s great. When will you be home?”
“Not too late … about nine or ten.” I paused and put my arms around her. “I’m sorry about tonight, but you know how important this deal is.”
I felt her head nod against my shoulder. I heard a noise before she spoke; I couldn’t tell if it was a sob or a quick breath.
“I’ll wait up for you,” she whispered.
She pulled away when we heard Seth coming down the stairs. She flashed a sad smile at me then quickly turned her attention to our charging son. He wrapped his arms around her waist and administered the biggest bear hug he could manage.
“Happy birfday, Momma!” he announced as he reached one arm up and extended a hastily wrapped package.
Judging by the snowmen, I would say he had gotten into our Christmas wrapping paper. My gut clenched when I realized I had left my present at the office. But what had Seth gotten her? A short time earlier he was asking me to take him to the blue store to get her a present.
Ann leaned down and hugged Seth’s neck then kissed him on the forehead. “Thank you baby,” she said. “What is it?”
“Open it!” he urged.
She gently tore back the paper to reveal more layers of snowmen. I think Seth must have used the whole roll. After several moments of peeling, Ann gently reached into the wrapping and pulled out an action figure; Seth’s Princess Leia action figure to be exact. He had a large collection of Star Wars figures which he guarded jealously. It was indeed an esteemed honor to be presented with one of his collection.
“Princess Leia is pretty like you, Momma,” Seth said, proud. Seth had always claimed that Ann resembled the galactic princess. I could see the resemblance a little, except for the hair buns over the ears.
Ann slowly turned and displayed her honored gift in my general direction. I saw a couple of tears stream down her cheeks. At the time I thought it was motherly happiness for Seth’s thoughtful gift; in hindsight I’m not so sure. I think it was more a mixture of pride in her son and disappointment in me. But I was doing the right thing, wasn’t I? The truth was that this had become such a common occurrence, me putting my work first, that it was a miracle Ann had any regretful tears left.
I kissed Ann and wished her what probably seemed a hollow happy birthday. I hugged Seth and told him I loved him. I had thoughtlessly left Ann’s gift at the office, but promised her I would bring it home after the meeting tonight. Even though I have a lousy record with quality family time, I did put a lot of effort into gifts. Surely the diamond tennis bracelet I got her would make up for my absence.
The thing that seemed to be completely lost on me is that nothing could make up for that. I loved my family dearly, more than words could express, but actions always speak louder than words.
CHAPTER 3
The Sign
“When men sow the wind it is rational
to expect that they will reap the whirlwind.”
—Frederick Douglass
It has been three weeks since Ann’s birthday. It is truly disturbing how much things can change in such a short period of time. The deal in Memphis closed a week ago. It was a very lucrative deal, but one I would gladly undo if only I could undo what has happened. I haven’t slept or eaten much since then. In fact, I have barely left the house.
As I sit and ponder what has happened, I realize that when it comes to the happiest days of my life, work never really figured into the mix. I thought it did but really it made me happy because I was making more money and a better life for the family. Yes, I was making more money, but money is a poor substitute for the priceless value of a present husband and father.
The two happiest days of my life were the day Annabelle and I were married and the day that my premature, but miraculously healthy son, Seth, was born – thank God he got his mother’s looks. Both days hold a unique place in my heart, but I never understood how large a part of my heart they occupied until I returned home from Memphis last week and realized they were gone. I had a void in my chest that far surpassed my physical dimensions; it seemed to open into a bottomless pit of despair.
I am a loyal and loving husband and father, but I guess that was hard to see considering I was never home. All I wanted was to give them everything they desired, that is why I worked long hours, traveled on weekends, and even worked when I was home. I was so busy looking to the future that I never realized the present needed me. Karma paid me a cruel visit last week, a visit that I deserved. I guess in one form or another, we always reap what we sow.
Seth is six-years-old and a very intelligent kid. He was already educating me on the solar system and universe when he was only three. Yeah, I knew all the planets in order, kind of. I always had a tendency to get Neptune and Uranus turned around in their order from the Sun, but not Seth. He could not only rattle them off in line, but could name all the moons for each planet as well. He had a steadfast belief – I have no idea where it came from – that Pluto is indeed a planet and not a dwarf planet as NASA had recently proclaimed. Well, I don’t know a dwarf planet from a Disney character, so I never corrected him. Who knows? The smart little toot may have been right. Sometimes I felt like I wasn’t talking to a three-year-old or a six-year-old as he got older. He is a typical kid, but don’t let his speech impediment fool you; he has an intellect that would far exceed his old man’s.
Ann and I were a clichéd story: nerd meets beauty, they hit it off, they get married … life is good. I wish I could say it was that easy, but it wasn’t. It took a lot of persistence and diligence on my part to win her over, almost three years’ worth.
Ann and I had very little in common other than the fact that we both grew up as an only child in our respective homes and we had both lost each of our parents before we were 20. We had vowed to not condemn Seth to that solitary existence; he needed family that would still be there even after Ann and I are gone. But, we had not been able to get pregnant again. I can’t help but wonder if that was why Ann had gone to see her doctor, her “female” doctor on her birthday. As happy as that would have made me two weeks ago, it tears at my heart to think of that possibility now.
When I fell in love with Ann, it was one of those chick moments that guys sometimes have but never admit. I just knew I was meant to be with her. I couldn’t explain it any more than I could explain the event that is presently occurring on the Earth.
I have been sitting in my easy chair for most of the last week, just as I a
m doing today, pondering what brought me to this point, reminiscing about the past as my guts seem to be gnawing their way out, feeding on my guilt and misery. Father Wilson had stopped by again this morning to offer support but, like I had done the past four days, I politely told him it was not a good time and sent him on his way. I had not forgotten the suicide conversation I intended to have with him, but now was not the time and I didn’t think I could talk with him until that was resolved.
His visit did make me recall that Seth had told me about a phenomenon heading toward the Earth, a magnetic storm or something which they had watched in science class. I hadn’t paid attention at the time because I was preoccupied with my big Memphis deal. Plus, it seems like there is always some meteor shower or eclipse to watch, a cosmic oddity and nothing more. That is why the TV suddenly caught my attention.
The news report tapped my curiosity like nothing had in the past week because I had mindlessly ignored the TV for days as it droned on not more than ten feet from my chair, it might as well have been ten miles. The broadcast from CNN said the storm had entered the Earth’s atmosphere over China and would gradually spread across the entire planet. Seth had told me that the scientists said the storm might disrupt radio signals but it seemed radio was not fazed; instead television was being affected.
The reporters estimated that it would take about six hours to reach our side of the planet. But their predictions were woefully inadequate: within ten minutes my TV was reduced to nothing more than a white-noise generator. I grudgingly forced myself out of the chair and walked over to my laptop resting on the coffee table where it had sat for the past two weeks. After it booted, I clicked on my internet icon … there was no connection. After several minutes of rebooting and troubleshooting, I saw little alternative but to go into the kitchen and turn on the radio. I absently drifted back against the wall and slid to the floor as I took in the radio report, my jaw practically resting on my chest. Yes, TV and internet were out all over the world, but that problem paled in comparison to what else was being reported. Emotional exhaustion and astonishment made it impossible to stand. What I was hearing was surely impossible.
The Tesla Gate Page 2
