by Bridget Lang
Different colored Chinese lanterns were strung from invisible wires across the front and back yards. Mia had no idea how they'd done it, but it actually looked like the lights were floating in mid-air. She walked up the driveway, the hair on her arms standing up. Her breath was sharp and shallow. She didn't like being here. The door opened and Rachel stepped out with a wide smile.
"Hi," she cried, running towards Mia like it was old times. Mia accepted the hug but hung back when Rachel stepped inside. "Come on," she said, pulling her arm. "The house isn't gonna bite." She led Mia up to a spare bedroom that was serving as the pre-honeymoon chamber. It was decorated in soft French lace and looked like something straight out of a magazine.
"So," Rachel said. "Smart Mart huh? What happened to Harvard?"
Rachel always had a way of cutting right to things. Mia shrugged and raised her shoulders. "Things happen," she said. "Life doesn't work according to plan." She looked at Rachel, surrounded by designer clothes and plush carpet. "Except maybe for you and Logan."
Rachel sat on her bed, staring up at Mia with eyes that hinted at something she wasn't sure she should ask. "Was it drugs?" she almost whispered.
Mia burst out laughing in spite of her discomfort.
"No," she said. "It wasn't drugs."
Rachel let out a long sigh of relief. "Good. Though I wouldn't judge if it was and I could totally help you." She smiled and Mia saw why she was such a good model. A perfect mouth, with perfect blonde hair falling in ringlets. She was made for the camera.
"So," Rachel whispered, more conspiratorially this time. "Was it a boy?" She half winked at me and I felt the blood drain from my face. Logan and I had never told Rachel about us. We weren't sure how she would react. It had been my excuse for breaking things off with him so long ago. I'd told him I couldn't keep seeing him because I was afraid it would hurt Rachel.
A few weeks ago at work, I'd read my horoscope in some magazine in the break room. I'd been regretting it ever since. It had told me that I was cursed with bad luck. Forever. Okay, maybe it didn't say forever, but you had to read between the lines. My fears were now confirmed when there was a light tap on Rachel's door and Logan stepped inside. His eyes registered surprise and I immediately looked away, embarrassed at the way I'd left things with him the other night.
Logan stood there for a second with a dumb expression on his face before Rachel finally said, "Well? Did you want something?"
He looked startled, like he'd forgotten she was there, then said, "Yeah. Mom wants to know how many of those little swan vase thingies should go on each table."
Rachel's eyes widened in alarm. "Those don't go on the tables!" she shrieked, jumping off the bed and running out the door. She paused just long enough to turn her head and say to Mia, "We're not done here. And you're coming to the rehearsal tomorrow, whether you want to or not." She turned to Logan. "Talk her into it, will you?" Then she ran down the stairs before her mom could misplace the swan vase thingies that would, apparently, make or break this wedding.
Logan and Mia were left alone in the room. There was an awkward silence before Logan finally said, "So, you're going to the dinner?"
Mia shrugged.
"You want to talk about it?"
"About what?" she asked.
He rolled his eyes. "About all of it. Why are you living in that... place? And what happened to Harvard and law school?" Logan felt his blood boiling. "And what happened to us?" He took a step towards Mia and she wished she could pull her eyes away and run, but something about his face glued her to her seat. "The last time I saw you..."
Mia knew what he meant. The last time they'd seen each other was her eighteenth birthday party, when they'd made love and declared a commitment that seemed naïve now. There had been promises made... to always be together, to always be honest with each other. Mia had broken each of them.
Logan read the memory in her eyes. He could almost always tell what she was thinking. "Why did you dump me like that?" he asked.
"I..." Mia had started to say she didn't, but of course that wasn't true. She'd sent him an email saying they couldn't be together anymore and blaming her friendship with Rachel as the reason. Was it too late to tell him about Emma? She'd come this far alone. Even if she wanted to tell him, now was not the time. "I told you why."
He shook his head and sat on Rachel's bed, dropping his head between his knees. "Fine," he said. "Don't tell me. But you owe me, for the way you left. Do something for me."
Mia stared at him, her breath caught in her throat. "What?"
"Be my date for Rachel's wedding."
"I can't," she said without thinking it over. "I have to work."
"At Smart Mart?" he said, sounding cynical.
"Yes," she said, getting defensive. "At Smart Mart. And there's nothing wrong with that. I have to make money somehow. What do you think? That me and Em—" Her face went white as she realized what she'd almost said.
Logan was watching her, looking confused. He opened his mouth and she interrupted. "Fine," she said, hoping to stop him from asking whatever was on the tip of his tongue. "I'll go with you to the rehearsal, not the wedding."
"Okay," he said, "sure." In the back of his mind though, he thought that if he could get her to the rehearsal, he could get her to the wedding too.
Chapter 8
Logan decided that being back in Oakville definitely had some advantages. He just couldn't decide if Mia was one of them or not. She'd broken his heart when she left him, and every woman he'd hooked up with since then had been but a pale comparison. He realized now that he'd been trying to fill Mia's void with meaningless relationships so he wouldn't get hurt again.
He opened the door to the Steak Shark Bar and Grille. He wasn't surprised to find that it was still here—Oakville was only so big. Once a store opened in a small town, it generally stayed open. Everyone knew the owners of Steak Shark. If someone from an outside town had tried to put up a new bar, no one would have gone.
Logan raised his hand and waved to his old friends as he entered. Johnny saw him first.
"Hey! Look who's here, the wild man of football." His friends started chanting and yelling, "Uuhhooough Uuhhoough," and soon the whole place had their eyes on Logan. He had to admit, it felt good being the center of attention.
"A round for everybody," he shouted to the bartender. "On me!" He'd always wanted to say that. The crowd at Steak Shark cheered and someone shoved a beer into his hand. He thought a beer sounded like a great idea, maybe even something a stronger. If he drank enough, maybe he'd be able to forget about Mia for the rest of his trip. It was only a couple more days.
Soon Logan was walking lopsided. How'd I get so drunk so fast? He wondered. I've only been here a few minutes. He pulled on Rob's arm and when Rob turned his head, Logan asked what time it was.
"Midnight thirty," Rob said, laughing. He was drunk too.
Logan did a double take. Twelve-thirty? That meant Logan had been here at least three hours, not three minutes.
"I gotta go," he said. His words slurred together but they were clear enough that his friends understood him and started shouting.
"What do you mean go?" Anthony asked loud enough to draw attention. He sounded angry.
"Yeah!" someone else he couldn't identify yelled. "The least a money bags like you can do is buy another round for us working stiffs."
"That's right," Rob chimed in. "And I need a new car." He laughed but his eyes were hard and looked at Logan like he was a dollar sign instead of a person. Logan was suddenly uncomfortable. He signaled to the bartender to give everyone another round on him, then began gathering his things.
"Now, really. I have to go." Logan said, making his way to the bartender. He asked how much his tab was, and was floored to find that it was over a thousand dollars. One thousand dollars in three hours? That didn't seem possible. He started to call Johnny over to help him sort it out, when suddenly he realized that most of the town who was over twenty-one was here in this bar. And t
hey were all buying drinks off him. These people were using him. And the bartender was a part of it.
He felt disgusted and handed the bartender his credit card with a slow churn growing in his stomach. Better to just pay and be done with it. Outside, he stood beside his car for a minute, wondering whether or not he was okay to drive. When he realized he was seeing two of everything, he decided to walk.
He took River Road, startled by the unchanged landscape around him. The cross street up ahead was Harvest Road. Mia. The thought struck him like a lightning bolt that Mia was the only one in this town who hadn't asked him for anything. She hadn't even wanted to see him when he'd turned up at her job. She was the only one he could really trust... except that he knew she was keeping something from him.
His feet veered down Harvest without even thinking about it. He stood outside Mia's building, a combination of anger and passion swelling inside him. "Mia!" he shouted. "Mia!" He was going to get some answers tonight. He didn't know what her problem with him was, but he wasn't leaving until he found out.
"MIA!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
A light went on in a fourth floor window and Mia's head poked out. She rubbed her eyes. Good, he'd woken her up. "Logan?" she asked, blinking.
He felt like Romeo and Juliet. Sudden inspiration hit him. He ran towards the fire escape that scaled her building and started to climb. Mia's initial reaction was to shut the window. She couldn't let him in. He saw her close it but kept climbing, not caring. When he got to the fourth floor her window was shut but not locked. He pried it open and put one foot through. She stood staring at him.
"Logan! You can't come in here. What are you doing?"
"I'm saving you," he said, not thinking about his words, just spitting out the first thing that came into his head.
"Saving me from what?" she demanded.
"Yourself," he said, climbing the rest of the way inside. Mia tried to push him back out but it was too late. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on," he said.
"Oh crap. You're drunk."
"Yeah I'm drunk. So what?"
"Logan. Lower your voice."
"Why? Scared your neighbors will hear? Well I DON"T CARE! LET THEM H—"
That was when a sleepy, dewy eyed toddler with blonde hair and Mia's skin walked into the living room. "Mommy?" she asked, looking frightened.
Mia glared at Logan, who stood with his mouth hanging open. "It's okay sweetie," Mia said, going to her daughter. "This is Logan. He's a friend of Mommy's. Logan... this is Emma. My daughter."
Logan's heart stopped beating. Emma smiled tentatively at him, and he thought he smiled back.
"Let's get you back into bed, alright? Logan's sorry he was so loud and rude." She threw him a look and took Emma into the back. Logan stood there feeling numb. He didn't know what to think. Emma... Mia's daughter. She was small. Maybe three or four at the most. When did Mia...
Mia walked back into the room and Logan watched her move. It was like he was seeing her for the first time. "Emma..." he said. "How old is she?"
Mia turned her head a fraction of an inch so that he couldn't see her eyes. "Three."
Logan gulped. Suddenly he was sober. "Is she... mine?"
Mia laughed, then shook her head no, but she refused to look at him.
"Is she?" he repeated.
Finally, Mia looked up and said, "You're drunk. There's a pillow and blanket on the couch. You can sleep it off here if you want, but leave before Emma wakes up please." Then she turned and left him alone with crazy thoughts that scared him more than the idea of never playing football again.
Chapter 9
Mia laid in the dark with her eyes open. She listened to her breath and felt the weight of the situation she'd made for herself. What a mess. What was she supposed to do now? Was she really going to lie to Logan forever? Was it fair to Emma? Especially with Logan in the next room? She felt sick and wished this was all a bad dream.
She'd been in bed for at least an hour and was sure that Logan must be asleep by now. She couldn't resist because she couldn't stop thinking about him. She got out of bed, wrapped a robe around her nightshirt, and stole a peek at him on her couch. His breath was shallow and worried, his brow furled against the cushions. She leaned closer to him, wanting to see how much of him was in Emma. She was close enough to feel his breath on her face, then his eyes flew open and Mia screamed.
"Shit!" she said, putting her hand over her mouth. "Don't scare me like that."
"Don't scare you?" he whispered. "You're the one hovering over me while I sleep."
"Pretend to sleep," she said. "Weirdo."
"Crazy woman." They glared at each other for a second before the corners of their lips curled up and they started laughing. It felt so good to laugh again that for a second Mia forgot all about the lies and secrets and doubts.
"Sshh," she said. "Emma will wake up."
"Let's go to your room then."
She hesitated. "We can close the door," he said. "It'll be quieter. I'd like to talk a little."
Finally, she nodded. He followed her into her tiny room with her twin bed and old dresser. She was embarrassed when she realized there was nowhere for him to sit except the floor or the bed. He chose the bed. She sat next to him. The energy in the room was buzzing. She felt the air move around them, saw lightning strike, heard thunder inside her head as Logan breathed next to her.
"She's really not mine?" he finally said, breaking the silence.
Mia considered her answer. She'd missed Logan. She'd never gotten over him. But she didn't want him suddenly back in her life just because she'd gotten pregnant. That wasn't fair to any of them. "She's really not." Then, just for good measure, "I slept with lots of guys in high school. You weren't the only one Logan." She hoped she sounded sincere, but he just laughed.
"Yeah, you were a real pro that night we were together."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean? Are you saying I was bad in bed?"
"On the contrary," he said, looking at her with deep blue eyes that sunk into her like a stone on a lake. "That night was the best night of my life."
Mia wanted to laugh, but couldn’t find voice enough to do it.
"Tell me you don't still care about me," he said.
She looked away and he reached out with his hand, placing it on her cheek, and forced her to turn back to him. "Don't look away. Just say it. Tell me."
She felt her eyes trying to run from his and knew she couldn't lie. Not now. Not when they were so close, when his hand was pressing against her face. "I've never forgotten you," she said.
Logan smiled. "Knew it," he said. Then he reached out and tickled her. It was so unexpected that Mia cried out and jumped back in her bed. Logan got on top of her, straddling her while his hands ran over her clothes, up and down her body, covering her with tickles. Then the tickling stopped, and Logan was moving his head towards her.
Mia tried to draw away from him but his hold was too powerful. She wanted him too much. His lips brushed hers and her body trembled. She felt his hands shake as he pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "You know I still love you," he whispered.
She nodded and opened her mouth, uncertain what might come out. "I..." but she couldn't finish the thought. The fact that she'd started the sentence was enough for Logan, for now. He pressed his lips to hers and she tasted honey. His skin was warm and tan and his muscles made her feel safe when he took her in his arms.
Logan was the only person Mia had ever slept with. She thought she'd never have these feelings again, for anyone, but when he pushed the robe from her shoulders her heart quivered and her mind didn't protest. Her nightshirt was large and hung past her thighs, but stopped above her knees. Logan lifted it up and her breasts fell out, creamy except for the strawberry nipple that stood at center attention. Mia couldn't believe this was happening. Her heart ran a race inside her chest, beating against her like a drum. Logan's tongue ran over pink soldiers and carried wa
ves of undiluted passion through her blood, landing at all the most important ports.
Mia's thighs clenched and unclenched. Logan's body was so hard. He pressed his core against her and Mia shuddered under him. Tears welled up as she remembered the last time they were together. She'd been so happy that night.
"Mia," Logan said, alarmed. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" She shook her head, feeling foolish. "I'm fine, I just... I don't think I knew how much I needed you till now."
Logan caressed her neck with his tongue and with his hand reached between Mia's legs. He found her soft mound and rubbed its center with delicate strokes of his large fingers. Her body melted and when she opened her eyes they burned with a dormant passion that she had to fulfill or die trying. She lifted Logan's shirt over his head and was astonished at the mass of muscles under the cotton. She'd thought chests like this only existed in Photoshop.
She reached towards him with her tongue, wanting to taste him. His body quivered as she licked him. He was champagne and strawberries as she ran her tongue across his abdomen, examining the nooks and crannies of his muscles as she went. When his chest wasn't enough for her anymore, she undid his belt and helped him kick his pants to the floor.
Chapter 10
Logan felt Mia's body tremble under his and it nearly undid him. He'd dreamt of this moment since the last time they were together. He didn't want to rush things. He sensed she had an enduring strength beneath her soft skin and moist, pink lips—it took a strong woman to care for a child on her own—but someone had hurt her. They'd left scars along with Emma. If he ever found out who it was that had left her alone with a child to raise, he'd break their body in half.
He found the tip of Mia's nose and kissed it tenderly, drawing more giggles from her. Her laughter was like music to him, and he let his ear drums swallow the sound like she was a concert pianist playing just for him. His hands ran up and over her breasts. They were cream colored satin under his fingers, rising towards him like mountains. He didn't remember them like this and wondered if they'd gotten bigger after the baby. It didn't matter. Small, medium, or large, she was more of a woman than the over-plasticized bleach blondes people thought he was so fond of. It was incredible to have someone so warm and real in bed with him. He'd missed Mia more than she would probably believe.
