The castle gleamed softly in the evening light. The flickering yellow of lamplight spilled out from windows on the upper floors. Jelena made her way to the outer staircase that led up to Ashinji’s apartment.
“ Please be here, my love,” she murmured as she climbed the steps. She pushed open the door at the top of the staircase and stepped into the dimly lit hallway beyond. At that same moment, the door to Ashinji’s chamber flew open, and he came rushing out. He swept her up into his arms and carried her in across the room, where he deposited her gently onto the bed.
He sat beside her and pulled her close. She clung to him, too exhausted even to cry.
“ I knew you were in danger…I could feel it,” he whispered, rocking her back and forth. “I rushed back home as fast as I could and tried to find you, but no one seemed to know where you were! And then Sadaiyo showed up bleeding from a deep wound in his thigh. He claimed that he had done it himself by accident, but…” His voice trailed off, and he continued to rock Jelena in silence.
“ Tell me what happened, love,” Ashinji finally asked.
“ Oh, Ashi,” she whispered.
Numbly, she told him and then surrendered to the dark.
Chapter 30
Ashinji’s Resolution
In a small, halting voice, Jelena told Ashinji everything that had happened. The trauma of reliving the attack seemed to drain what little energy she had left, for after she finished, she slumped against him and lapsed into semi-consciousness. He held her until he sensed that she had drifted off into natural sleep, then very gently began to undress her. Tears stung his eyes at the sight of the ugly purple bruises on her shoulders, back, arms, and face. After he had removed the torn remnants of her clothes, he tucked her into his bed, then undressed and slipped under the coverlet beside her.
As Jelena lay sleeping, Ashinji stared at the ceiling, his mind seething. The intensity of his anger terrified him, and he felt himself teetering on the edge of a dark chasm. It would be so easy to let go, to fall in and allow the darkness to sweep him away into madness. Only the anchor of Jelena’s love could hold him back and keep him from total ruination.
The moon had reached the mid-point of its nightly progress when Ashinji finally gave up all hope of sleep. He kissed Jelena softly, then slipped out of bed and padded across the room to sit on the windowsill. An errant breeze, laden with the scent of night-blooming jasmine, caressed his cheek. He raked his fingers through his hair and glowered into the dark, contemplating murder.
Killing his brother would be personally satisfying, but ultimately disastrous. The penalty for murder was death, so not only would Kerala lose its future Lord, but its only other male scion as well. The House of Sakehera would forever suffer the taint of fratricide. No, I could never put the family through that horror, he thought.
You’ll not die by my hand, Brother. But somehow, some way, I’ll make you pay for what you’ve done to Jelena.
I know I promised Jelena I would say nothing about us to Father and Mother until she found her elven kin, but damn it…that may never happen! The only way I can protect her now is to make her my wife.
He glanced over his shoulder at Jelena’s still form.
Not even Sadaiyo would dare cross that line.
He considered Jelena’s account of how she had prevented Sadaiyo from raping her. Somehow, she had managed to use her ‘blue fire’ energy.
Whatever it is, it’s growing stronger, Ashinji thought. She’s going to need professional help to learn how to control it…We must tell Mother. She’ll know what to do.
In three weeks’ time, Lord Sen would depart Kerala, bound for the capital, to attend the king’s council. Both Sadaiyo and Ashinji were to accompany him.
I must convince Jelena to marry me before we go, Ashinji thought.
Jelena stirred and called out his name. He returned to bed and kissed her for reassurance.
“ I love you, Ashi,” she whispered and drifted off again. He smiled. Only those who loved him called him by his nickname, with the singular exception of Sadaiyo, who never called Ashinji anything without attaching a measure of scorn to it.
Just before sunrise, he closed his eyes and managed to sleep a little.
~~~
Haggard from the long, restless night, Ashinji stalked the castle grounds, searching for Sadaiyo. He had left Jelena curled up in a nest of coverlets, still deeply asleep. After what she’d been through the day before, he doubted she’d wake any time soon. Her traumatized mind and body desperately needed the rest.
Ashinji struggled hard to control his anger; only a cool head would serve him now. He knew Sadaiyo’s attack on Jelena had been, in reality, an indirect attack on him. Jelena as an individual was irrelevant; only the fact that Ashinji cared about her really mattered. It had always been Sadaiyo’s favorite method of assault-do harm to his younger brother by harming any person or thing that Ashinji loved. When they were children, it had been Ashinji’s pets and toys. Now, it was Jelena.
He found Sadaiyo down in the stableyard, taking inventory of the wagons that would transport baggage to Sendai. He noticed Sadaiyo favoring his left leg and caught himself wishing that Jelena had sliced a little higher and toward the center. Sadaiyo glanced up, spotted Ashinji, and limped over to where his brother stood, arms folded and stony-faced.
“ Come to help?” Sadaiyo asked mildly.
“ You know why I’m here,” Ashinji replied.
“ Let me guess. She told you I attacked her. Well, Brother, I’m afraid your little mongrel is a liar. She attacked me.” He pointed to his injured leg.
Ashinji stared at his brother with disgust.
“ I’m sorry you have to find out about her this way,” Sadaiyo continued, “but the truth of it is, she’s been pestering me for quite some time now. She came up to me the morning after my wedding and practically threw herself at me, begging me to take her as my concubine. I said no, of course.”
“ I don’t believe you,” Ashinji stated flatly.
“ Yesterday, I went for a walk in the woods,” Sadaiyo said, speaking as if he hadn’t heard Ashinji’s rejection of his story. “She followed me…practically ambushed me…then demanded that I take her on, and when I once again refused her, she pulled a knife and attacked me! I managed to disarm her but not before she took a few nasty knocks. Then she ran away, obviously back to you, so she could give you her version of what happened.” He winced for dramatic effect and rubbed at the wound in his thigh.
“ If this is true, then why didn’t you tell Father what really happened when you came in last night, instead of claiming that you had wounded yourself by accident?”
Sadaiyo shot Ashinji a pitying look. “If Father knew his favorite messenger had attacked the Heir in a jealous rage, he would have had no choice but to throw her out on her delectable posterior. I felt sorry for her, really. She can’t help it if she wants to be with a real man. But don’t worry, Little Brother. I’ve forgiven her. I promise I won’t tell Father the true story.”
A terrible sadness settled over Ashinji like a clammy gray fog. He stared into his brother’s eyes, searching for any evidence of remorse and saw only the usual mixture of amusement and contempt. “I don’t think I’ve ever hated you as much as I do at this moment,” he said slowly. Sadaiyo merely shrugged.
“ You are, without doubt, lying about all of this, but if Jelena goes to Father, he’ll have no choice but to believe you over her.” Ashinji paused to draw in a deep, steadying breath, then said, “Mark my words, Brother… One day, you’ll pay for this.” Ashinji turned his back on Sadaiyo and walked away.
“ Don’t you forget, Little Brother,” Sadaiyo called after him, “One day, I’ll be Lord of Kerala!”
~~~
Jelena had risen and dressed by the time Ashinji returned to his apartment. She sat on the windowsill, chin in hand, looking out over the bright rooftops. At the sound of his entrance, she turned toward him, face alight.
Ashinji shivered as a wave of remorse
rolled over him.
It’s my fault Jelena got hurt! he berated himself. I should have done more to protect her!
“ What is wrong, Ashi?” Jelena’s voice brimmed with concern as she slipped down from the sill and came over to him.
He took her hand and drew her down beside him onto the cushions surrounding his dining table. “I’ve been with my brother,” he said.
Jelena gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. “No, Ashi, you did not fight with him!”
Ashinji shook his head, hating to see such fear in her eyes. “No, no, love. I didn’t…although I wanted to very badly.” He paused, and took a deep breath before continuing. “Nothing but… shit and…and lies pour from his mouth. I knew he wouldn’t tell me the truth, but I had to confront him anyway.”
“ What…what did he say?” Jelena asked softly.
“ It doesn’t matter. What does matter is protecting you from him. Jelena, we have to go to my parents now and get their permission to marry. It’s the only way. Sadaiyo won’t dare try anything more if you are my wife. He may be twisted, but he’s not stupid.”
“ Ashinji, your father he is kind, good. But you…you are favorite son. He wants special…pure… elf girl for you. I am not special…”
“ Don’t ever say that!” Ashinji cut Jelena off before she could finish. He took both of her hands in his and brought them up to his lips. Tenderly, he placed a single kiss on each palm. “Jelena, you’ve given me the greatest gift that I have ever received…the gift of your love. I wish to honor our love every day with my body and my soul. I know you feel you are not worthy…of me, of happiness…It’s not true. You deserve to be happy. Allow yourself to be loved by me.” He leaned forward and breathed into her ear a single word. “Please!”
Something inside of Jelena seemed to shift, to melt. Ashinji watched her face intently as she wrestled with her emotions. Her hazel eyes went soft and unfocused as she lost herself in her thoughts, then they sharpened up and fastened onto his eyes, filled with a new resolve. “I do love you, Ashi, more than you know. But marry you now…I cannot. Wait! Hear me!” she commanded, raising her hand as Ashinji opened his mouth to object. “I want to marry you…so much, it is painful to me, but I must have a name first. Even if…I find my family and they do not want me, at least I will know who they are… who I am. Then, I will feel right to ask your parents to let me join their family.”
“ Damn it, Jelena…That may not happen!” Ashinji exclaimed, profoundly frustrated with her stubbornness. “I understand your need to know who you really are,” he continued more calmly, “but not knowing shouldn’t stop us from marrying. Once we are wed, you’ll have a name and the protection of our House.”
Jelena remained silent, looking tired, hollow-eyed and scared.
“ You are afraid of Sadaiyo, of what he is capable of. So am I,” Ashinji said quietly. “Have I ever told you why I believe my brother hates me so?” Jelena shook her head. “Sadaiyo had my parents all to himself for many years. I think he believed, naively, that they would have no other children and that he would never have to share their attention or their love with anyone else. My earliest memory of my brother is of him leaning over my cradle and spitting in my face. I was too young to truly understand just what that meant, but in time, I learned the depths of his hostility toward me.
“ Sadaiyo has always been very clever and skilled at tormenting me. I eventually learned to cope-to fight back, even-but it made life needlessly difficult for me.”
“ Why did not your parents stop him?” Jelena asked.
“ I said Sadaiyo has always been clever. He never did anything in front of my parents other than taunt me, and all of his most vicious attacks he carefully planned so as to leave no trace of his hands upon them. I could never prove anything, so I usually kept silent and…and…”
Ashinji paused to take a slow, deep breath. Even after so many years, the pain could sometimes flare up so raw and hot, it stopped him in his tracks.
Jelena seemed to sense his hurt, for she moved closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. “If these memories are too painful for you, Ashi, you do not have to talk about them now,” she said quietly.
Ashinji shook his head. “No, I do want to talk…especially to you, now.” He kissed her lightly on the lips and continued. “The fact that I am so like our father only makes things worse. It draws us together, my father and me…makes us much more than just father and son; we are friends as well. Sadaiyo has never had that same closeness with Father, and he sees this as a threat. I think he believes Father is looking for any excuse to disinherit him…name me Heir instead, which I know our father would never do.”
“ You would make a far better Lord than Sadaiyo, Ashi,” Jelena interjected. “All here love you. I have heard…seen how much respect in their hearts they have for you. No one loves Sadaiyo. They fear the day he will become Lord.”
Ashinji sighed. “The real truth of it, beloved, is that I have never wished to usurp my brother’s position. All I’ve ever wanted is the chance to pursue a life of my own choosing. I was given to the military because that is what tradition dictates for every second born child of our House. I had no say in it, but if I had been given a choice, I would have gone to the university.”
“ Uni…ver…” Jelena stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
“ A place of learning. If I had been born a girl with a high level of Talent, I might have been sent to one of the mage schools… Anyhow, I’ve never given Sadaiyo any reason to fear me, yet his hostility has only grown worse over the years.”
“ Your sisters…Does he hate them also?”
“ Oddly enough, no. He ignores them, mostly. I think he believes that they are my mother’s concern, and are no direct threat to him, although my father dotes shamefully on all three of them.”
“ As if you do not!” Jelena teased.
Ashinji smiled broadly. “When Lani was a baby, I used to carry her around on my back all over the castle. I taught her how to ride and shoot a bow. She loves mathematics almost as much as I do. And the twins! The twins are…well, they are a force of nature!” Jelena laughed and nodded in agreement.
“ My father treats Sadaiyo with the respect due his eldest son and Heir, but I know in my heart he wishes that I had been born first. He can’t hide how he feels. Sadaiyo knows, and so any brotherly love he may have had for me has been poisoned beyond hope. The day he assumes the title is the last day I shall ever be welcome in Kerala.”
Ashinji had never spoken this bitter truth aloud, though he had carried it for so long within his heart. He felt strangely relieved, now that he had given voice to it-as if by saying the words, he had taken some of the pain out of it and could therefore accept his future exile more easily.
“ So you see, dearest love, I am a man with no prospects other than those the army affords me, but I don’t care. I’ll always have a place, and someday, I still hope to enter the university. The House of Sakehera will be my brother’s concern. Do you understand now why the question of your bloodline doesn’t matter?”
“ But I am half human , Ashi. That is still thought of as below elf,” Jelena pointed out.
“ Yes, you are right. I can’t deny the prejudice of many okui-purebloods-against those of mixed race, but things are changing for the better. In Sendai, there is a large community of hikui that has existed for many generations. I’ll take you there.”
He paused for a heartbeat as his voice caught in his throat. Her beauty took his breath away. “Jelena,” he continued, “I want a life with you, whether you know who your father is or not. I want children with you. I never wish us to be separated, ever. Please tell me that you’ll marry me.”
He searched her eyes for an answer, and she gave it to him in the form of a long, deep kiss.
Chapter 31
The Final Hurdle
"So. This is the favor you would have from me. My son!”
“ Father, don’t…” Ashinji pleaded, then fell silent as Lord Sen r
ose up from his chair, arms crossed, a scowl creasing the corners of his mouth and eyes. Lady Amara remained seated, legs drawn up child-like, on the couch beneath her. Jelena risked a furtive glance at her face, trying in vain to decipher the emotions hidden beneath that smoothly beautiful mask, but she might as well try to read the face of a marble statue.
Sen took a breath as if to speak, but Amara put out her hand to touch his arm, stopping him. “Husband, wait,” she murmured. “Listen to what our son has to say first.” Sen’s scowl deepened, but he deferred to his wife’s request, nodding his head in permission for Ashinji to continue.
“ Father,” Ashinji began again. “Don’t be angry with Jelena. This was not her idea. I had to talk her into it. She wanted to wait until she found her elven kin, but I convinced her that she did not need to in order to marry me.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “I love Jelena…more than my own life,” he declared. “I truly believe the One set her in my path so I would find her and the two of us could join our lives.”
As he spoke, Jelena kept her attention fixed on Ashinji’s face. His eyes burned with such intensity that she feared he would ignite the very air around him.
Sen’s expression softened. “This girl saved my life, ‘tis true,” he murmured, “and for that I owe her. But… marriage! Great Goddess!” He began to pace back and forth, shaking his head. “I have always been a tolerant man…a fair-minded man. You know this!” he insisted. “I was raised to believe that all of us, okui and hikui alike, are equal in the eyes of the One.”
Abruptly, Sen stopped pacing and turned to look at his son. “I…I can hardly bring myself to say it, I’m so ashamed,” he said softly. “But I must, nonetheless. Ashi, I know you love this girl, but…”
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