by Debra Kayn
"Bull true," said Glen.
Chuck shook his head. "I have women over here all the time. I don't keep them. Erikka needed help. She hired us."
"Clara and Gracie needed my help," said Wayne.
Glen's upper lip twitched. "Ingrid needed more than my help. She needed a home."
Thad sat down on the couch. "Lena's having my—"
"Jesus Christ. You don't think we can see Lena's pregnant, man." Chuck snortled, unsure why everyone looked at him like he was the crazy one. He wasn't the one tied down or dealing with twin sisters or ready to become a father.
"All we're saying is taking the responsibility of a missing person's case on and bringing them into our lives is different than a random fuck for a good time," said Wayne. "You're feeling something toward Erikka."
Erikka. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called her. Everyone was fucked up. He was working. Just because he was attracted to a woman who had stayed with him didn't mean he was going to check himself out of the single's life.
"Hey, everything okay at the house?" He turned his back to the others in the room, wishing he was alone and could ask her what the hell was going on. Now was not the time for her to retreat into herself. She needed people around her who would support her. With Markham breathing down his neck, she needed protection.
"It's cold in the house," she said.
"Turn on the heater."
"It's summer. It shouldn't be cold."
He lowered his chin to his chest. "Sweetheart..."
"Don't."
He walked into the kitchen, needing to be closer to her. "What's going on?"
"Gracie, and who knows how many other women you call sweetheart is what's going on," she said quietly. "I don't like how I'm feeling when I have to witness you saying it to other women. There shouldn't be any reason why it bothers me, considering I hired you and you've been more than gracious on helping me. So, the best thing I can do is stay at the house and concentrate on Rachel. That's what I'm supposed to be doing and I can't when my feelings are all over the place. I'm not in a good place emotionally to figure everything out that's going on in my head at the moment. My sister is the one who needs me."
He called Gracie sweetheart, and that's why Erikka got upset? He closed his eyes briefly. "It's just a name."
"Not when men use it on more than one woman," she said.
Sure, calling women sweetheart happened in his life. It was easier than remembering their names. None of the other women cared. Most even liked it, especially when he called them that in bed.
"Then, I won't call you sweetheart." He looked behind him, making sure his MC brothers were still in the other room. "I'm going to come over to your house."
"Not now." She paused. "You can stop by later tonight before it gets dark."
He gritted his teeth. "You'll call if you need me?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." He exhaled. "Lock your doors."
"Already did," she said. "I'll see you later."
She disconnected the call. He put the phone in his pocket and rubbed his hands over his face before joining the others.
In the living room, he interrupted their conversation. "I want a way to stop Markham from contacting and ruining Erikka's life. He's already thrashed her sister's house, and now he's put her business on hold by busting out the front of the building. The cops couldn't tell if anything was missing from the inside, and understandably, Erikka refused to deal with the mess right now."
Wayne squatted and braced his elbows on his knees. "The problem with us going after Markham is it steps over into a Notus MC problem. We can protect Erikka, give her round the clock care and bring in someone else while we're working during the week to make sure she's protected. But, the second you step onto the casino property with anything more than a threat toward Markham to stay away from her, he'll take it as a sign of a personal attack. He'll come after Notus and frankly, we don't have time to deal with him. We're running two ways to Sunday on two cases."
He understood what Wayne was saying. Any other time, he'd agree. He was frustrated.
"Speaking of one of the directions we're going. Have you had time to find out anything about Brad Moore?" Thad picked up the throw pillow on the couch and shoved it behind his back. "It could be days until Galeeno gets any sort of positive sign of Rachel. We could finish up the Moore case in the meantime and lighten our load. With Lena home baking cookies, cleaning, and hanging baby clothes all day long, my mom swears she's going to go into labor by this weekend."
"Hang on." Chuck left the room, took the stairs two at a time, and printed out the papers in the file he'd gathered last night and forgot to produce that morning. Returning to the living room, he passed the papers to Thad. "He's got a pattern of gas station charges from St. John's to Seaside that coincides with hotel charges on a Visa card in his name only."
"What hotel?" asked Wayne.
"The Shilo." Chuck reached into his pocket and extracted a piece of paper. "I called the hotel during the first break at work, talked to the guest service employee at the front desk, and found out Moore doesn't stay there alone. There's always a woman who checks in before him and leaves the next day after Moore checks out."
"Business-related?" asked Glen.
Chuck shook his head. "He works construction. I bet we can verify with his wife that he claims to stay out of town on projects working. What's he's doing at the beach isn't paying him."
"Does he go on the same day every week?" Wayne straightened from the crouched position.
"No. Over the last several months, he goes on a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday pattern. Last Thursday he went missing." Chuck passed the paper with the hotel's number on it to Thad. "It'd take us half a day to find him, talk, and see if he'll go back to his wife on his own or at least have information on his location for his wife if he refuses to return."
"I'm not leaving that long with Lena due," said Thad.
"I know, it's bad fucking timing." Chuck blew out his breath. "I'd like to stay here for Erikka."
"Glen and I'll go after work tomorrow. We'd arrive around six o'clock and probably wait them out at the hotel why they're out enjoying dinner. If everything checks out, we can sign off on the case, set both parties right, and be back before midnight." Wayne picked up the papers on the coffee table, rolled and stuffed them under his vest. "I'm going to head over to Vavoom's Bar."
"I'll go with you and catch Ingrid after she gets off work at Pauly's," said Glen.
"Hey, can one of you bring me some food. Enough for Erikka, too. She needs to eat. I'll take dinner over to her. I doubt if she has anything still eatable at her house." Chuck pushed himself off the couch and walked over to the window after Glen agreed to come back with food.
One after another, the Notus members left the house. Chuck continued standing in the window watching the traffic flow knowing whoever was driving the cars, the trucks, were also turning the corner and going by Erikka's place.
Over the phone, she'd admitted to being confused. Guilt pressed down on him. She deserved more from him as she battled her fears surrounding her sister missing. He inhaled deeply. She'd left his house because she hated him calling other women sweetheart.
That was a lot of pressure on him. He was who he was, and wasn't going to change. But, damn, if he wasn't attracted to her and the thought of not having a chance to see what it'd be like between them because of his lifestyle sat wrong with him.
Chapter 15
Silence had a sound.
It was a gut-wrenching emptiness that pounded in Erikka's head. She snuggled underneath the blanket in the recliner, peeking through the slim slit she'd made in the curtains blocking the window. The street light outside at the curb gave her a view of the world that seemed too big.
Her sister was clear across the world, hidden from her. Everything she thought she knew, she questioned.
Rachel depended on her, and she had not a single clue on what to do.
It was ridiculously stupid to thi
nk she could keep the bonds business going after losing her dad. Rachel had wanted to try something different—just sell the place and start over doing something more exciting—even if it meant making less money. Her sister had dreams that were pushing her to set goals and achieve things in her life before she was forty years old. Erikka hadn't felt that pressure. She'd stubbornly refused to see past the day, and entertain the idea of doing something different.
Now all she could do was think about the future.
She wanted her family, no matter if it was only her sister. She wanted a husband and a child or two before she got much older. She wanted to be an aunt to Rachel's babies and grow old knowing her sister was right beside her, happy and loving life.
A tear tickled her cheek. She swiped her face and inhaled a trembling breath. None of those things were possible if Rachel remained missing.
But, Chuck and the others were doing everything possible. Deep in her heart, she trusted him on the decisions that'd been made so far. Even including the police, understanding their reach and time was limited. Not to mention, law enforcement in Cabo was also going to search. Notus had several teams of professionals out looking for Rachel.
A low rumble filled the room. She squinted, staring out at the street. Now aware of how close she lived to not one, but three bikers, she'd become immune to the noise of their motorcycles over the last several years of living in the Kenworth neighborhood. Having never given a thought to who they were before, she was now consumed with who was going to be riding by.
Chuck had told her he was going to stop by before dark, but night had already fallen, along with her mood.
The noise grew louder and changed octaves. She threw off the blanket and stepped to the window, spotting Chuck pulling into her driveway. Wiping her face with her hands, she walked to the other side of the room and opened the door.
Chuck stalked up to her with his long strides and attentive gaze, and instantly she felt more confident and less alone. She'd acted irrationally this afternoon, having hit rock bottom since Rachel went missing. Yes, she was attracted to him, but the circumstances had her feeling territorial as if he was hers, and he wasn't. She knew little about his life or who he called friends or girlfriends.
"Hey," he said quietly, stopping in front of her.
She stepped back. "Come on in."
"I brought you something to eat." He handed over the sack. "I figured you didn't have much here that was still good."
"Thanks." She carried the bag to the kitchen, looking over her shoulder to invite him to follow her. "I have some meat and frozen vegetables in the freezer, but no desire to cook."
"Figured," he said. "The food is from Vavoom's Bar."
She looked inside and found several sandwiches. Her earlier judgment against Chuck and Gracie entered the room. Glancing up at him, she handed him one of the sandwiches, knowing it was up to her to make the awkward situation better.
"Eat with me?" She pulled another wrapped sandwich out of the bag and motioned toward the table.
Sitting down, she stalled making an apology by taking her first bite. She hadn't eaten all day, but even food couldn't fill the emptiness inside of her knowing her crush on Chuck would never materialize. Somehow, in her messed up emotions, she probably read too much from his attention, and now she was left with wanting him. Crazy, even when she understood her emotions.
She set her sandwich down on the paper it had come wrapped in. "I'm sorry about how I left your house and for putting you in an unfair position to hear more about me than what you signed up for."
It killed her to talk about the earlier conversation. She hadn't meant to tell him so much, but everything seemed raw and helpless at the time.
"Did you get everything sorted in your head while being here by yourself?" He never paused in eating the sandwich.
She blinked at him. He wasn't going to beat around the bush.
"I don't know what I was thinking," she muttered, picking a piece of cheese off her sandwich and putting it in her mouth. "I'm sure Gracie is a nice person. I mean, of course, she is, she made brownies and probably this sandwich, and shared them both with me. But, ..."
"But?"
"I stayed at your house and saw you naked." She smiled sadly and cringed inside. "You called me sweetheart a few times, and I think it messed with my head. I wanted you to like me because you made me feel good. I guess I'm desperate to feel good because the rest of my life is crap right now. I apologize for reading more into the situation than was there, and I'm sorry."
Chuck planted his elbows on the table and rubbed his jaw with his hand. Her face warmed under his scrutiny. At the moment, she felt half of her age. There was no way at thirty-five years old, she should be acting the way she'd acted or talking the way she talked.
"I am truly sorry," she said again.
He removed his hand from his face, and she pressed against the back of the chair. His lips, partially hidden in his beard, curved. He was amused by her.
"Let me get this straight." He also leaned back in his chair. "You saw me naked, and you wanted me?"
"Oh, Lord," she whispered and stood up from the table, taking the extra sandwiches in the sack to the refrigerator to escape her humiliation. With her back to him, she said, "You're reading too much into this."
"Am I?" he said behind her.
She stared at the contents of the fridge. "I told you I wasn't thinking clearly."
"I am."
His gruff answer whirled her around, and she gawked. "What?"
"I don't know why you think your head is messed up. I'm attracted to you. You didn't misread anything, and I sure in the hell haven't missed the signs of you being attracted to me. Only thing fucked up is the timing, sweetheart."
She held up her hand. "That's what's wrong. Right there. Don't do that. You have others you call sweetheart."
His chin lowered. ''Gracie."
"Yes," she snapped. "I saw you in the kitchen at Wayne's house. You held her. You kissed her forehead. You looked at her the same way you've looked at me. I heard you on the phone this morning with her and how your voice changed, and you called her sweetheart, again. I'm not into stepping in when another woman is involved. I'm at the point in my life when chemistry and mutual...compatibility have to be my priority, and I've never had the desire to be attracted to a man who had the need to see more than one woman."
"Gracie and I aren't involved." He leaned against the wall and shoved his hands in his front jean pockets. "She's part of Notus, and I care about her."
"How much do you care?" She held her breath.
"I love her." His gaze remained steady on her. "There's a lot you don't know, and it's Gracie's business to share, not mine. She needed...she needs me, and those reasons why are important enough to me that I won't stop being there for her, for as long as she needs me."
"Do you sleep with her, too?" She hated herself for wanting to know.
"No." His gaze intensified. "She also hasn't seen me naked."
Her stomach fluttered. He seemed to keep reminding her about his nakedness, and she couldn't seem to forget running to him in the bathroom and seeing his body. His whole body. His body was a visual she couldn't shake from her head.
"Oh," she whispered for lack of anything smarter or better to say in reply.
He cocked his head. "Now that you know, what do you plan on doing about the situation between us?"
"Honestly?" she asked.
"Nothing but the truth."
She shrugged "I don't know."
"I can tell you what you want to happen." He paused and his gaze warmed her from head to toes. "You want me to kiss you and keep you safe. You want me to have sex with you and help you think about tomorrow, because it will be a better day. You want me to hold you and give you some hope. You want me to make you feel special, so you won't feel alone, and I can do all that, Erikka."
Unsettled with him using her name and not the endearment he seemed drawn toward, she swallowed and crossed her arms und
erneath her breasts. He'd spilled all her inner secrets out in front of her, and it was hard to accept. And, yet, freeing.
"Am I that transparent?" she whispered.
He blew out a gust of air. "Only because what you want temps me more than I can control. I've been telling myself I'm the last thing you need in your life right now and here I am, trying to tell you that I want to take you back to my house and when you sleep in my bed tonight, I want to be inside you. I don't have anything to offer you but the promise that no matter what happens between us, I will be there for you as we find your sister. And, I'll be there for you as long as you need me."
Oh, Lord. She trembled. It seemed like such a huge offer if sincere or the cheesiest pickup line if he was a player.
Yet, she had nothing to lose. She'd lost everything.
She couldn't breathe enough air to calm herself. Tottering on a mental breakdown, she realized it wasn't a choice she had to make. She needed him.
"Can I pack more clothes in my bag before you take me to your house again?" she asked.
He nodded. "I'll wait for you."
She stepped forward and stopped in front of him. "In my head, I want this. But, I'm not sure I know if my heart can stand any more pain."
He kissed her forehead. "I will always protect your heart, love."
"Love?" She lifted her gaze at such a delicate endearment coming from a rough biker.
He brushed her hair away from her cheek. "I remember my dad calling my mom love before they got divorced and it always made her smile. Then, during the time my mom knew she was dying, she began to call me love. I was a grown ass man but hearing my mom say that meant the world to me as if I'd never lose her, and that was exactly what I needed. I think maybe you need that reminder, too."
Tears welled in her eyes, and she nodded, blinking feverishly to keep them at bay. Never in her life had she heard anything so touching or wanted something so bad.
Chapter 16
Chuck stood beside her at the vanity in the bathroom brushing his teeth and looking at her in the mirror. She stood over the second sink, scrubbing her teeth, trying not to let the foam escape her lips and roll down her chin. He'd let her have the bathroom first and then walked right in as she was blow drying her hair and took a quick three-minute shower.
