by Debra Kayn
Only when the shower turned off upstairs did he get off the couch and lock up the house to head up to bed. His mind had slowed down, but his body remained tense and agitated. He rubbed a hand over his closely shorn head. He was an asshole because he wanted to touch and hold her.
In his room, Erikka was already snuggled in for the night. He stripped and set his boots off to the end of the bed, and slipped under the covers. She had her back toward him, and he rolled, spooning her from behind.
She remained silent when he cupped her breast and moved her until her back fit against his chest. After several minutes, he broke the silence. "Have the police updated you on your sister?"
"Lieutenant Gomez is keeping her in jail overnight. She's exhausted from all the questions. I'll be able to post a bond for her tomorrow morning." She paused. "He says if Tony Stoddard can hand over proof on Mr. Markham, there is a good chance that cooperating with police and helping them get a steeper conviction against Markham, well, it would make the judge look more favorably upon him. As for my sister, it depends on the charges for Tony. They both agree they feared for their lives and there were threats from Markham and his men. There's a chance she might not see any jail time after the initial hold if things work out. For tonight, everything is pending, but it's something."
"That's good."
"Yeah," she murmured.
He continued holding her like he had for the last two months, except she never turned to him. She never kissed him goodnight.
"Chuck, I think with everything going on and all the help I want to give my sister, we need to slow things down," she whispered.
"I'll go as slow as you want." He kissed the back of her head.
She shivered. "I need to...figure things out," she whispered.
Eventually, she fell asleep.
He stayed awake and held on to her because he was scared of losing her.
Chapter 33
Five minutes before the air horn went off ending the day at Port Loaders, Wayne grabbed Chuck out of the undercoat department on the ship. Chuck pulled off his air respirator and unzipped his coveralls.
He shed his clothes and grabbed the cries sheet, motioning for Wayne to follow him. "What's up?"
"Have you checked your phone?" Wayne walked beside him across the deck toward the ramp.
"Yeah, before I slid under the last car." He grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and looked. "Why?"
"Erikka called and left a message." Wayne handed his unfilled cries sheet to Chuck.
He continued walking toward the office shed at the port. "She never called or texted me today. What did the message say?"
"She wants to meet all members of Notus at your house after we get off work." Wayne studied him. "I figured you'd know why."
"Nope," he said, opening the office door and slipping inside.
He filled out each job he'd completed during the last two hours onto the computer and then inputted Wayne's information. Handing over the papers, he nodded at Sara who smiled and waved her fingers at him.
His work day was over. He was free to go home.
The air horn blasted.
He jogged over to Wayne and walked with him through the gate and out to his motorcycle. That morning, he'd let Erikka sleep in and got ready for work alone. She had still been sleeping when it was time for him to leave, so he'd kissed her forehead and left.
But, through the restless night he'd had, he wondered if she'd changed her mind about having a relationship. All her talk about needing to go slow and figuring things out seemed as if it'd come out of nowhere. They had no problem talking before last night. Before her sister showed herself.
He stopped beside his bike, got his vest out of his duffle, and put on the leather. He never would've imagined her pulling away from him, but with her sister needing support, maybe she felt now wasn't a good time for her to be in a relationship. He could prove her wrong.
"I thought we were going to Vavoom's?" Thad put on his helmet. "Lena was going to meet me there."
"Call and tell her to meet us at Chuck's house at four thirty instead. Clara and Gracie are swinging by, and then we're going to dinner at the bar after I'm finished with the meeting," said Wayne.
Glen unwrapped a piece of gum. "Let's ride out. When all is said and done, I want to get home before seven tonight."
"Why do you need to be home early for?" asked Wayne.
"Ingrid's been with her dad all day. He's not doing well." Glen sat his motorcycle. "It's expected."
Chuck started his Harley and rode out of the parking lot. Looking in his wing mirror, he watched Wayne catch up, pass, and take the lead. He fell back into the familiar pattern. Wayne led, Thad followed, Glen remained steady, and Chuck became the end man. The positions picked by a lifetime of time spent together. It was where they were comfortable. Each of them knew their job and their skill riding.
He thrived in a familiar place. It was when he was shoved out of his comfort zone that he second-guessed himself. And, he was thinking up a lot of fucking reasons why Erikka would call a club meeting without telling him first.
None of those reasons were good.
The fact that she hadn't gone through him to speak with Wayne remained high on his list of red flags. He tried to think of what he could've done that would push her to leave him. Yesterday, he'd been pissed. To protect her from his anger, he'd set it up for Gomez to watch over her while she was at the police station. He'd supported her when she got home, and he'd taken her quietness and lack of talking to him as a sign that she was exhausted.
He hated the emptiness of being outside her world. He wanted inside where he had control. Whatever she had to say to him or the club, he'd make sure they survived the days to come, together.
The others pulled up to the curb along the street outside his house. He rode into the driveway and parked. Erikka's car sat in front of the garage door, not inside where she usually kept it. His gut tightened, hating to be away from her for eight hours. Shit happened when they were separated.
He unlocked the house, walked inside, and left the door open. "Erikka?"
"Here." She walked out of the kitchen.
He met her halfway and slid his hand underneath her hair and cupped her neck, needing to connect with her before the others came in. She tilted her chin and puckered her lips. He obliged her with a kiss. The noise of the others entering the house cut him short. Without letting her go, he said, "Everything okay?"
"It will be. I'm trying to make things right." She stepped away from him and waved to the others.
It will be? What the fuck did she need to make right?
He stood on the outskirts of the living room, clueless of what was going on in Erikka's head, and not liking it one bit.
"Thanks for coming over." Erikka walked over to Wayne and held out her hand. "These are for Notus Motorcycle Club. Chuck never mentioned a full amount that the club would need, and I've called a realtor who will be more than happy to do an estimate for you. We can sign the title over to you as soon as I can get it to Rachel to sign. I also have a house that I can take a second mortgage out on as soon as I find another job—"
"Erikka?" Chuck moved forward, confused on what she was doing.
Beside her, he spotted the keys in Wayne's hand that she'd passed to him. Heaviness pressed in on him. He'd never wanted her business. St. John's Bail Bonds was her father's legacy, handed down to his daughters. When not inflicted by worry over her sister, Erikka loved her career. She was damn good at it.
"I want to thank you...all." She looked around the room, her softer voice depicted the emotions overwhelming her. "I wish I would've seen the note that Rachel left and saved us all the time and effort on the search, not to mention the expense. But, I'm so glad I had Notus on my side and the support you all gave me. I don't know what I would've done without..."
Chuck placed his hand on her lower back. "You're done, love."
She inhaled swiftly and forced a smile, clasping her hands to her chest. "Yes, I a
m. Lieutenant Gomez has informed me the bond for Rachel went through. I can pick her up in the morning."
"That's good news." Wayne glanced at Chuck.
He shrugged. Not once during the day had she texted or called him to keep him updated.
"Yes." She turned to Chuck. "I'm going to go over to Rachel's house and clean out her fridge and put clean sheets on her bed. I'm just going to try and tidy up the place tonight before I bring her home tomorrow."
Chuck frowned. "I'll go with you."
"No." She stepped away, looking at him. "Go out with your friends. I've got this covered."
"Erikka...?"
She bent down, and that's when he noticed her bags lined up behind the door. She blurred in his vision. His pulse roared. He was losing her all over again.
His ribs tightened, constricting his breathing. Sweat broke out across his forehead. The roar building in his chest pressed against his heart.
Wayne's hand landed on that same spot that hurt, adding more pressure, stopping him from moving to the door.
The soft click of the latch broke through his thoughts and brought reality smashing down on him. He charged forward. Hands shot out to keep him from reaching her. She slipped out of his sight, out of his life. He caught and threw off the restraints, and when he couldn't get past the human wall keeping him from Erikka, he hit, punched, headbutted, and fought.
"Fuck." Wayne grunted, taking a punch to his midsection.
Thad rushed him, planting his shoulder in Chuck's stomach. "Hold him down."
The floor slammed into the back of Chuck's head. The roar of pain inside of him escaped. He was losing everything again. He couldn't stop his life from spiraling out of control.
"Erikka," bellowed Chuck.
A fist punched him. His neck snapped. Lightning shot across his vision.
He'd lost Rich. He'd almost lost his club. He needed to find Erikka.
She belonged with him. She'd made his house her home. He'd go slow, as long as she was with him.
"Calm the fuck down." Wayne put a vice grip hold on Chuck's jaw. "You won't be doing shit unless you can get control over yourself."
"Erikka," he said spitting out between his clenched teeth. "Bring her back."
"We don't need to bring her back, bro. She's right down the street. She's at Rachel's house." Thad squatted over Chuck, pinning his legs to the hardwood floor.
"Erikka's not lost, brother," said Glen quietly, holding Chuck's arm.
He strained against them holding him down. His muscles screamed in exhaustion. He couldn't see her. He had to see her.
"Scared her away." He groaned in pain.
"You haven't scared her," said Wayne.
"Scared Rich," he mumbled. "He's gone."
The hands on him let go. He threw himself into a sitting position and pushed to his feet, weaving to find his balance. The side of his face throbbed around his eye. He ran a hand over his forehead, his skull was already swollen and tender.
Thad rubbed his shoulder, moving his arm in a circle, and eyed Chuck. "We're all to blame for Rich, bro. We all could've said or done something differently."
"We couldn't stop him from leaving." Glen chewed his gum. "If he wanted a way out, he would've found a way. Maybe not then, but a different day."
"We've searched for him every day for twenty-five years, and if it takes the rest of our lives, we will dedicate our time to finding him." Wayne clasped the back of Chuck's neck. "It's been our pledge since we lost Thalia. We won't lose anyone else we love."
"I'm not going to lose Erikka." Chuck sniffed hard, his nostrils already swelling from being punched in the face.
"What makes you think you are?" asked Glen.
"I scare her." Chuck shook his head and instantly regretted it when his neck muscle spasmed. "It's everything that was going on in our lives. Her sister missing. Us getting involved. Her thinking I'm somehow involved with Gracie. Losing her business. Fucking everything. I could feel her pulling away a couple of days ago, unable to handle everything. She needs to know I'll handle everything she can't or doesn't want to do alone."
Someone cleared their throat. He looked over at the door and clamped his teeth. Clara and Gracie stood at the threshold of his house. Going by the shocked looks on their faces, they'd overheard everything and witnessed his anger.
Gracie turned and disappeared out of sight. Chuck turned away and muttered, "Fuck."
The last thing he wanted to do was scare Gracie and send her back to being more afraid of the world.
Clara walked in, going to Wayne. Chuck went over and picked up his helmet. He needed to go to Erikka and explain himself and find out what he could do to make her come back and be with him.
Wayne stepped in front of him. "Wait. Give yourself a half hour, clean yourself up—your eyebrow popped open, and you've got blood starting to run down your face. Take that time to get your head on straight. You'll do more damage going to Erikka looking like that."
He dropped his helmet and touched his brow. At contact, stinging pain pierced his head.
"Do you have any Band-Aids or butterflies?" asked Clara. "I can help you."
"Yeah, up in the bathroom."
Clara kissed Wayne, and it hit Chuck how much love was between the two. He wanted that because he'd experienced it with Erikka.
She turned to Chuck and left Wayne's side. "Sit on the couch. I'll go get what we need and come back and fix you all up."
He followed her orders and sat. The faster he cleaned himself up, the sooner he could go down the street and be with Erikka. It no longer mattered how slow she wanted to go or how many times he had to tell her she was the only one he loved, he'd prove it to her for the rest of his life.
Chapter 34
The aroma of freshness filled the porch area of Rachel's house. Erikka sprayed the last kitchen rug and stepped back out of the arsenal of mist wafting in her direction. Once she swept the kitchen floor, she'd bring the rugs in, and the downstairs would look and smell clean.
A car pulled into the driveway. Erikka went inside, made sure her purse was within reaching distance of the door, and waited to see who had come over.
Her pulse raced. The vehicle wasn't familiar to her.
The driver's side door opened and Gracie stepped out. Erikka's heart rate never slowed. She wanted to stay inside and close the door. Instead, she stood on the threshold and waited to see why one of Chuck's women would seek her out alone.
It was one thing to know Gracie called Chuck at home and talked to him when he was around the club members, but last night seeing him sitting on the couch alone with Gracie when she was so anxious to share with him about all of Rachel's news and how the police were trying to work with her sister, hurt her more than she could handle.
She didn't want to share Chuck. Call her selfish, jealous, or jumping into a relationship before she was emotionally ready, she just couldn't deal with Gracie being close to Chuck.
"Sorry for dropping in without letting you know first." Gracie stopped before she stepped onto the porch. "I think we need to talk."
"About what?" asked Erikka.
Gracie looked over at the neighbor's house and inhaled deeply before turning her gaze back to Erikka. "Chuck."
"Now isn't a great time." She couldn't talk with anyone, especially Gracie, about Chuck.
Their relationship wasn't normal. Most people would tell her that she was too emotional at this time in her life, because of the lows of believing her sister was abducted and now trying to support Rachel while the threat of being arrested for a crime of passion hung over her sister's head. Nobody would believe she was in love under those extreme circumstances.
"I don't think waiting will help matters, it could even make things worse. I need to tell you something. Something I should've realized you needed a long time ago." Gracie pointed to the steps to the porch. "Please? I'll make this as short as I can and leave you in peace afterward."
She dipped her chin, giving up. Like a Band-Aid that needed
to come off, she'd found it was easier to get rid of unpleasantries fast. It'd be painful at the beginning, but afterward, she'd be okay.
Instead of sitting on the same porch step as Gracie, Erikka took the top one. Gracie held her hands in her lap and looked out at the front lawn. She seemed hesitant now to talk.
Gracie inhaled deeply. "Three years ago, Clara and I moved to St. John's to find more information about our mother. She'd been killed when we were little girls. Her killer had never been caught, and in our desire to find out who was responsible and make him pay, we got to know Notus Motorcycle Club."
"I'm sorry about your mother." It had been hard on Erikka to lose her father as an adult. It had to be one-hundred times harder to lose a parent because of murder as a child.
"It was a long time ago." Gracie dipped her chin and picked at the hole in the knee of her jeans. "We didn't know at the time how easy it would be to find the killer responsible for taking our mother from us."
Caught up in the story, Erikka asked, "You found him?"
"He found us." Gracie cleared her throat. "He stole a car, crashed into Clara and Me as we were going to Vavoom's Bar, and abducted me right in front of everyone at the accident."
Erikka covered her mouth, shocked at what she was hearing.
"The killer took me to his house, tied me to a bed, and proceeded to stand over me with a knife and tell me about how he kidnapped, raped, and murdered my mother. There were details I never wanted to know. A sickness that was so visible and disturbing, no matter how hard I try, I can't get it out of my mind. As I faced my mother's killer, I was told in explicit terms what he'd do to me before he took my life."
Erikka wiped her cheek where a tear had escaped. She didn't want to show her tears because she could tell it was difficult for Gracie to talk about her past. The evidence in the way Gracie's hands shook and her voice trembled. She had to keep telling herself that Gracie was here, she was alive, and the story wouldn't end the way she suspected.
