“Yeah, cuz. You rock.”
“You owe me. Big time. And don’t think I won’t collect,” I said with a sweet smile before I headed to the family room to join Tess and Paige.
“Hi, Chloe. I brought a ton of movies for us to choose from.” Paige began yanking DVDs and videotapes out of a brown grocery bag in a frenzy, all the while giving us a running commentary on each film.
Her hand shook a little as she folded up the now-empty paper bag.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Paige gave a short laugh. “Just got into it with my mother again.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I’d rather escape to Paris.” She fastened a bright smile on her face. “So, what are you in the mood for? Doris Day or Gene Kelly?”
Paige had shared a little about her mom during some of our book club discussions, but not a lot. She wasn’t the type to complain or to draw attention to herself and her problems. We did know that her mother was in her late-seventies and had a rash of physical ailments, including diabetes, cataracts, high blood pressure, and something else I couldn’t remember. We also knew that she was forever calling Paige and needing her to come over “right now!” to do something for her. And when Paige didn’t respond immediately, since she did, after all, have a job and a life, her mother would pitch a fit.
“The joys of being the only child in town,” Paige had said once after one of her mother’s meltdowns.
Guess there are some good things about having a sister nearby, even if that sister walks on water. Thankfully, my mom was quite healthy and still had a couple decades to go before she hit her seventies. Besides, my mother was the complete opposite of Paige’s.
She wouldn’t even begin to know how to be high-maintenance.
Mom and I may not have had much in common, and most of the time I felt that she didn’t “get” me, but there’s no denying that she was a good, nurturing mother to my sister and me growing up.
I focused back in on my aunt’s flat-screen TV where Gene Kelly was singing and dancing his way through a Paris neighborhood.
“C’est beau,” Tess said. “That man could dance his way into my living room anytime.”
“Oh yeah.” Paige expelled a blissful sigh.
He was pretty cute. Great smile. Incredibly talented. Knew how to move. But it was more than the famous dancer’s fancy footwork that was drawing me in. His character was an artist. In Paris. Painting. How fabulous was that?
I couldn’t even imagine. But then, I could hardly imagine that we were really going to Paris in nine months. It still didn’t seem real.
Maybe it wasn’t. Things don’t always work out as planned, as my almost wedding proved. Better to keep a level head about it all. Besides, if the trip were cancelled for some reason, then that meant no flying.
Over the ocean.
In a plane.
For eleven hours.
I could live with that.
It was just after midnight when I returned home with visions of soufflé, escargot, and pâté de foie gras dancing in my head. After watching two movies, foodie Paige, who subscribes to Gourmet magazine and is always trying out new recipes, had grilled Tess relentlessly about French food and what we might expect to learn from our Parisian chef. “Do you think she’ll teach us the secret to making a perfect soufflé? I’ve tried and tried, but I just can’t seem to get the hang of it. Mine always fall flat.”
Paige also thought it would be great if we could learn to make our own croissants and éclairs.
Sounded like it might be a lot of work. I’d just get my croissants from my favorite neighborhood breakfast spot, La Bou.
Back at the condo, I let myself in quietly, not wanting to wake Becca.
I needn’t have worried.
“Hey, roomie, guess where I’m thinking of moving?” she sang out from the couch where she was sitting spread-eagled in boxer shorts and a T-shirt, peering intently at her laptop, a glossy coffee-table book open beside her on the cushion.
“New Zealand?”
Recently we’d rented the Lord of the Rings trilogy and spent an entire Saturday watching it from start to finish. Becca had fallen in love with the lush scenery all over again, and decided she just had to live there.
“No. Well, yeah. Someday. But now where I’d really like to live is . . . ta-da, China!” Becca gestured to the oversized book at her side. It had been a slow night at work, she said, so she was flipping through some books in the travel section and found “this really cool one on China.” She held the travel book of glossy photos out to me, her dark eyes shining like tinsel on a Christmas tree. “Check it out. Wouldn’t you love to live there?”
“Not especially.”
“But there’s so many great things to see! The Forbidden City, the Great Wall, Tibet, the Himalayas. And they’re looking for English teachers. There are all these different organizations that will actually pay you to go there and teach English to high school and college students. How cool is that?”
I yawned and set the book back down beside her. “Very cool. But what’s even cooler to me right now is the bed that’s calling my name.” I didn’t have the energy tonight to discuss my roommate’s latest and greatest idea. Especially since next week, or next month, Becca would have a different destination du jour.
Becca was always coming up with exotic new places to live — depending on which book she’d read, which movie she’d just watched, or which program she’d seen on the Travel Channel. I couldn’t keep up. And no longer even bothered to try.
None of us did.
Part 4
11
Nearly everyone I talked to had some gruesome story involving a guileless acquaintance who had gone off hiking the trail with high hopes and new boots and come stumbling back two days later with a bobcat attached to his head or dripping blood from an armless sleeve and whispering in a hoarse voice, “Bear!” before sinking into a troubled unconsciousness.
A Walk in the Woods
I shifted impatiently from one foot to the other. “Aren’t we done packing yet?” I looked at my watch again, hoping that might hurry the others along. “We were supposed to meet Paige and Jenna fifteen minutes ago.”
“I know, I know. Hold your horses.” Annette wedged a camp stove and a brand new box of enamel cookware from REI into the back of her ready-to-pop minivan. “Haven’t you heard of the Boy Scout motto, Be prepared?”
“Yeah.” Kailyn handed her mother two portable lawn chairs to squeeze into the bulging van. “If we have to do this walk-inthe-woods adventure, I’m at least going to be comfortable.”
“We’re only going camping for the weekend — not for a whole month,” Becca said. “And it’s not like we’re roughing it or anything. This campground has all the amenities of a small town — barbecue grills, picnic tables, a general store, showers, even restrooms.”
Kailyn popped her gum. “Well of course it has restrooms. How else could you go to the bathroom?”
Smirking, Becca held up a small plastic shovel. “It’s not just bears who go in the woods.”
“Eww! TMI!”
After we’d begun reading my pick, A Walk in the Woods (too funny!), Becca had tried to convince me one night while we were watching a CSI rerun to choose a full-on back-to-nature rugged backpacking and hiking expedition along the Pacific Crest Trail for our adventure.
“Are you on crack or just insane?” I muted a Depends commercial. “A death march through the wilderness? Nothing doing. Kailyn could never handle that.”
“Just Kailyn?”
“Annette too.” Pause. “Although it’s not really my thing either.”
I’ve never seen what the big attraction is in staggering uphill with a heavy load on your back, tramping through a bug-and-rodent-infested forest and getting all sweaty and dirty. And then to top it all off, trying to sleep on a bed of tree roots, pine cones, and rocks. No thanks. “If God had wanted us to be one with Mother Nature, he wouldn’t h
ave invented the Hyatt.”
“Guess that whole garden of Eden thing was just a fairy tale then?”
I threw my slipper at her.
Although I wasn’t about to go backpacking, Tess and Becca had convinced me to at least give camping a try. So after searching the Internet and finding several state parks and campsites, I finally discovered one up north in the redwoods that sounded like it would work for our whole group.
The wheelchair-accessible trail sealed the deal.
At last Annette announced that she was finished packing the van. We all piled in, but it was a tight squeeze, so once we got to Paige’s, Becca decided that she’d ride with her and Jenna instead.
When we finally drove into our campground near dusk, the good-looking ranger at the entrance whose name tag read Rick (yes, really) told us to make sure we kept all our food locked up in the car at night. “Bears have been seen in the area recently.”
“Bears?”
“As in grizzlies?” Kailyn squeaked.
“Oh no. Not in this neck of the woods. These are just black bears looking for a little food. So make sure you put away all your chow whenever you leave the campsite and when you go to bed.” The ranger wagged his finger at us. “No munchies in your tents, either. And be sure your cooler is airtight and locked in the car with all the windows rolled up tight.”
“Can’t we just crack the windows a smidge?” Annette turned on her Southern charm and sent him a winning smile. “Otherwise it gets so hot it might melt our chocolate. And you don’t want to mess with a woman’s chocolate.”
“You could if you don’t mind paying for new windows and seats. Bear can pop that window out with just one flick of his paw, he finds an opening. Couple in here a few weeks ago had over three thousand in damages to their vehicle when he yanked out the glass and shredded the upholstery to get to a candy bar in the backseat.”
I scrabbled around in my purse until my fingers closed around my Almond Joy. I inhaled the candy bar in two bites.
Ranger Rick nodded his approval and then sniffed the air appreciatively. “Someone’s wearing . . . Heavenly, isn’t it?”
“You have a good nose.” Kailyn gave him a flirtatious smile. “Heavenly is my favorite Victoria’s Secret fragrance.”
“My girlfriend’s too. But once you get to the campground, you’ll probably want to take a shower and scrub it all off. Bears are just as attracted to the scent as men.” Ranger Rick tipped his cap. “You ladies take care and have a nice weekend now.”
Annette pulled forward several yards then slammed the car into park. “I vote we turn around and head back to that cute little B&B we passed a few miles back.”
“For once, I’m in full agreement with you, Mom.” Kailyn yanked out her cell. “Want me to tell the others?”
I twisted around in the backseat to see Becca, Paige, and Jenna pull in behind us and Ranger Rick make his hot way over to Paige’s window to deliver his spiel.
“Nah, don’t do that.” Tess shoved Annette’s purple umbrella that kept poking her in the neck between Kailyn’s pink makeup case and about a dozen pillows. “We’ve come all this way, and packed all this stuff. All we have to do is take the necessary precautions, and we’ll be fine. It’s going to be fun. Trust me. I’ve gone camping with my boys plenty of times, and we haven’t been mauled to death yet.” She winked.
“Sounds like maybe you’re overdue then.” Annette met my eyes in the mirror. “What do you say, Chloe? This is your adventure, after all.”
I say we turn this puppy around fast and head back to civilization. We can set up camp in the lobby of the nearest Hilton.
Except I was trying to be more adventurous these days. “Um . . .”
A knock on my window made us all jump.
Becca and Jenna’s grinning faces met ours. “Hey, you guys didn’t get freaked out by Ranger Sexy’s bear talk, did you?”
“What was your first clue?” Annette pried her hands from their death grip on the steering wheel and flexed her fingers to get the blood circulating again.
“Aw, they give those warnings all the time.” Jenna waved off our concerns. “It’s their job. No big deal. I’ve been camping a zillion times and never once have I seen a bear. Raccoons, yes. Chipmunks, yes. Even skunks a couple times. But no bears.” She held up three fingers in the Girl Scout salute. “Honest.”
“See?” Tess reassured Annette. “What’d I tell you?”
“I still think camping at that B&B down the road would be a safer choice.”
“I’d even settle for a Motel 6,” Kailyn said.
“Aw you guys, come on, don’t be such wusses.” Becca inclined her head toward Tess. “Besides, it’s three against two.”
Just then Kailyn’s cell rang. “Hi, Paige. I hear ya. Okay, I will. Bye.” She hung up, a huge smile splitting her face. “Make that three against three.”
“Looks like we’ve got a tie,” Jenna said. “Up to you, Chloe.”
My eyes flicked between my aunt’s loving but neutral expression, to Kailyn’s and Annette’s victorious expressions, and Becca’s and Jenna’s pouting ones.
No pressure here. The old play-it-safe, never-take-a-risk Chloe would have hightailed it out of there without a second’s hesitation. But one word burned in my mind. “Safe.” Chris had dubbed me safe. A nice euphemism for dull. Safe and sorry.
I took a deep breath. “Let’s give it a shot.”
Becca whooped and high-fived Jenna. “Yes!”
Annette and Kailyn chorused, “What? ” and Tess gave me a proud smile.
“However,” I added, “we have to do exactly what Ranger Rick said. Take all the precautions he suggested about food and perfume and everything. And the first time we get hint of a bear — Yogi or otherwise — or hear that any other campers have seen one or hear a rumor that someone may have seen a vaguely bear-shaped object on a distant ridge, we’re outta here. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” Becca and Jenna said in unison.
Kailyn muttered that I’d gone over to the dark side as Becca and Jenna clambered back into Paige’s car and Tess navigated the way to our campsite. As we wound through the forest over a bumpy, winding dirt road, we marveled at the glorious cathedral of redwoods scraping the sky all around us.
“Did y’all know that some of these trees were standing when Jesus walked the earth?” Annette said.
And people say there is no God. I craned my neck to gaze up at the ancient redwoods and breathed a prayer of thankfulness. This kind of nature I could handle.
We passed by a small clearing planted with a rainbow striped VW van covered in Grateful Dead stickers. A longhaired guy in a bandana and holey jeans kicking back near a fire pit smiled and waved.
“Hey, wonder if that’s Becca’s brother,” Kailyn said, staring hard at his Birkenstocks.
“Not unless there’s something her mother didn’t tell her.” I returned hippie guy’s wave. “Becca’s an only child.”
At Tess’s direction, Annette pulled into the next campsite, where we began removing insane amounts of camping gear, clothing, and stuff from the van that looked like a woman in the last trimester of her fertility-treatment-induced pregnancy.
By the time the van had disgorged its final quintuplet — in the form of Annette’s hammock — it had grown alarmingly dark.
“Hold the flashlight steady so I can read these directions,” Annette said to Kailyn as she pored over the set-up instructions for the shiny new six-man condo tent that she, Kailyn, and Paige would be sleeping in that night.
“I’m trying, but these mosquitoes keep biting.” Kailyn slapped at another annoying parasite on her arm, jiggling the flashlight in the process.
“You need to go take a shower and get rid of that cologne,” Tess reminded her. “Go on, now. We’ll help your mom.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” Kailyn grabbed her floral gym bag from the pile of luggage at her feet. “Which way to the shower again?”
Becca, who’d erected her individual pup
tent in something like three minutes flat, the brat, offered to guide Kailyn to the facilities.
“Chloe, can you finish up here while I help Annette?” Tess asked.
“Sure. Piece of cake.”
Feeling like Laura Ingalls, I pounded another metal thingamajig into one of the loops on my cousins’ army green two-man tent that Tess and I were sharing. Unlike Annette’s state-of-the-art, high-tech mondo-condo tent that weighed no more than a tube of lip gloss, Timmy and Tommy’s decades-old Army surplus model was decidedly low-tech and high fragrance — eau de jock — and fashioned of a ludicrously dense canvas material that weighed about as much as the VW van next door.
While Annette and Kailyn’s tent essentially erected itself in about fourteen seconds, our antique tent required a complex series of ropes, steel rods, connecting metal thingies, pulleys, and vast yards of duct tape.
After twenty-seven minutes of fighting with the pungent green tent, it sagged in the middle and the left pole looked dangerously unstable. But I figured it was good enough. By this time though, I was thinking it would have been a lot easier and infinitely more comfortable to sleep in Annette’s minivan. I grabbed the final stake from the nylon mesh bag Tess had left me and moved to the back of the tent to secure the final corner.
All at once, something small, brown, furry, and probably foaming at the mouth with rabid drool streaked across my left tennis shoe and shot into the woods.
I screamed and dropped the iron stake on my foot. “Ouch!” I yelled, grabbing my foot and hopping around awkwardly on the other one. In the darkness, I tripped over the unstable left pole and crashed into the tent, flattening it beneath me.
Just call me uncoordinated.
They did. Always. Especially at school. And that was just the teachers.
12
One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
Emma
Two hours later all the tents were up, and we were polishing off the last of the teriyaki chicken Paige had grilled for dinner.
Daring Chloe Page 10
