He used the firelight to light his hand and pulled out any remaining glass. Pulling his shirt over his head, he wrapped it around his hand. He felt like an idiot. Daniel climbed to his feet with the intention of leaving his circle of friends before he embarrassed himself any more. He had walked just beyond the edge of light when Leyland’s voice stopped him.
“Is he mad at me? I didn’t mean to make him mad. Was it because I kept telling him he needed to find his mate?” Leyland’s quiet voice wavered as he spoke. Daniel knew he couldn’t let Leyland think it was something he had done.
“No, Leyland, it was nothing you said,” Daniel said quietly.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, Daniel,” Leyland said quickly. “I guess I’m just so happy with Jake and Lucas that I want everyone to feel that way. I want everyone to find their mate.”
Daniel’s eyes strayed to the edge of the lake again. He desperately searched the area for one last look of the man that haunted his dreams. Or maybe they were his nightmares. When he found none, he turned and smiled weakly at Leyland.
“I already found my mate, Leyland, several years ago.” Daniel looked down at the ground before anyone could see the tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. He would be so embarrassed if anyone found out how much misery that that statement caused him.
“You’ve already found your mate?” Leyland cried out.
Daniel nodded, not lifting his head. “You remember that man at the pier, the tall one with the straw-colored hair and deep blue eyes? He was talking with Gregory and Viktor when we arrived. His name is Brom McGregor. He’s my mate.”
“If he’s your mate, then why in the hell aren’t you two together? Doesn’t he know you’re mates?” Leyland asked.
Daniel smirked. “He knows.”
“Then why—”
Daniel looked up at Leyland. He tried to smile at Leyland but knew he had failed miserably when Leyland’s sad little eyes looked back at him. Daniel felt a single tear fall down his cheek. “He doesn’t want me.”
Chapter 2
Daniel was nervous about the huge meet and greet cocktail party Vadim planned. The chances of him not running into Brom seemed slim to none. Every pack member that arrived for the big council meeting was supposed to attend. That included Daniel.
He tried to convince Jake that he didn’t need to attend without giving away the details of why, but Jake wasn’t having it. He insisted that Daniel attend as a member of Wolfrik Pack, and it came as an order from his alpha. There wasn’t any way that Daniel could refuse.
Daniel ran his finger under the collar of his shirt. He felt like he was choking, or maybe it was the lump in his throat that he couldn’t quite swallow past. Add that to the sweaty palms, the nervous tick in his jaw, and he was doing just peachy.
He couldn’t do this. He just couldn’t. He was going to have to talk to Jake and explain everything. Seeing Brom, being in the same room with him, it just wasn’t something he could do. He wasn’t that brave.
Daniel left his room and walked down the hallway to his alpha’s room. He took a deep breath for courage and then raised his hand and knocked. Just as he did, he suddenly didn’t want to face Jake and tell him the most humiliating experience of his life.
Daniel turned to leave, but his heart fell when the door opened. Christ! It was Jake. As much as he wanted to see his alpha, he also didn’t. He’d much rather go back to his room and hide. Hell, he’d rather get off the island all together and just go back to the ranch.
“Daniel?”
Daniel turned back. He gave Jake a small, wobbly smile. “Hey, Jake.”
Jake frowned. “Did you need something?”
Daniel stroked his hand through his hair, frustrated that he even needed to have this conversation. “Yeah, do you have a minute?”
“Certainly.” Jake stepped back and motioned for Daniel to enter his quarters. “Come on in.”
Wishing he was anywhere but where he was, Daniel stepped into the room. He immediately spotted Leyland lounging on the couch, Lucas sitting next to him. Oh crap! Daniel turned back to Jake.
“Is there somewhere we can speak privately?”
Jake frowned. “You know I don’t keep anything from Lucas and Leyland.”
“Yeah, I know, and I figure you’ll probably tell them later.” Daniel grimaced. “I’d just rather do this without an audience.”
Jake regarded him for a moment and then nodded. “You understand that I’ll discuss this with them later, right?”
Daniel nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
“Very well.” Jake turned to Lucas and Leyland, who were looking at Daniel curiously. “Would you two mind going for a walk while I talk to Daniel?”
Lucas and Leyland climbed to their feet and crossed the room to Jake. Daniel turned away, knowing that they were going to kiss their mate before leaving. Giving them a moment, he walked over to stare out the window.
He heard the door close but didn’t turn around. Daniel could feel Jake staring at him. The man had a presence that took up an entire football field. Daniel had always thought that it was part of what made Jake a good alpha. He commanded attention without speaking a word.
“Do you remember what I told you last night about Brom?” Daniel asked, his eyes still out on the night sky. It seemed easier this way, not having to look Jake in the eyes as he confessed his weakness.
“That he was your mate?” Jake replied. “Yes, I remember. What about it?”
“I know you ordered that all pack members attend this cocktail party tonight, but I just can’t, Jake. I can’t be in the same room with him.”
“He’s your mate, Daniel.”
Daniel shook his head negatively. “Doesn’t matter.”
“I still don’t understand how you can say that. I’ll admit that I’m confused as to why you two aren’t together if you both know you’re mates but surely you can—”
Daniel turned around to face Jake, letting him see all the anguish and misery he felt. “No, Jake, I can’t.”
“Fuck, Daniel, what happened?” Jake asked. “What did he do to you?”
Daniel’s laugh was bitter when it came out. “I think it’s more like what he wouldn’t do to me. He wouldn’t mate me.” Daniel rubbed his face with his hands before dropping them to his sides and pacing around the room. “Damn, Jake, you should have seen us. We were walking hormones. We fucked so much I thought my dick would fall off.”
“What happened?” Jake asked quietly.
Daniel shrugged, his hands fisting as he tried to keep control. “Who knows? Family, politics, life, everything seemed to get in the way. He was the alpha’s son. He had obligations he couldn’t turn his back on, pack obligations.”
“Cubs?”
“I think that was part of it.” Daniel turned to look at Jake. “I think part of it was that he couldn’t face the pack and tell them that we were mates. When push came to shove, the pack was more important to him than I was.”
“Daniel, man, I’m sorry.”
Daniel nodded. He walked over and sat down on the couch, his head bent as he studied his hands.
“Is that why you left?”
“I would have stuck it out. I loved him. I thought he loved me. I would have faced the pack and told them to go straight to hell.” Daniel paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “He told me to leave, that he would never mate me.”
Daniel twisted his hands together as he stared down at them. “He told me he never loved me, that it had just all been for fun. He wanted me to leave, and if I didn’t, he’d tell his father to make me leave. So, I left. There didn’t seem to be any point in staying.”
Daniel felt Jake sit down beside him. A hand rubbed his back. “He was married the week after I left. Last I heard through the pack grapevine, his wife had just given birth to their second child.”
“I’m sorry, Daniel.”
“I can’t see him, Jake. I just can’t.” He glanced over at Jake. “I don’t think I’m brave enough to s
ee him and not want him. I just don’t have that much courage.”
He could see the sympathy in Jake’s eyes. He could also see the resolve. It made Daniel’s heart ache. He knew what Jake was going to say even before he said it. It made him want to rage against the helplessness he felt.
“You have to come, Daniel,” Jake said. “All pack members have to be there. It’s council rules. I’m sorry.”
Daniel inclined his head. He knew he didn’t have a choice, but he had to try. “Very well, I’ll be there.” Or die trying.
“However, the rules don’t state exactly how long you have to be there, just that you have to be there.”
Daniel’s head popped up. “What?”
“Everyone has to be there for the opening ceremonies of the council meeting. If you felt the need to leave after that, no one would stop you.” Jake shrugged his shoulders. “It shouldn’t be more than ten minutes or so.”
Daniel felt relief flood his body. It was almost overwhelming. The tension in his neck faded away. The anxiousness that had been his constant companion since spotting Brom on the dock left. He started to grin. “I guess I could do ten minutes.”
“I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t required, Daniel,” Jake said. “You know that, don’t you?”
Daniel nodded. He knew that. Jake was a good alpha, unlike many. He truly cared about the members of his pack. He would never force Daniel to do something unless he absolutely had to. It just wasn’t in his nature.
Standing, Daniel straightened his shoulders and cleared his throat. “Thanks, Jake.”
“Anytime, Daniel,” Jake said as he stood up beside Daniel. “But you know you should have come to talk to me earlier. We could have avoided this whole thing by leaving you at home. Only members that actually attend the council meeting are required for the opening ceremonies.”
Daniel paused on his way to the door to look back at Jake in astonishment. “I thought everyone had to attend.”
“No.” Jake shook his head. “Only the members that actually come to the council meeting have to be present during the opening ceremonies. Can you imagine how damn big that meeting would be if every member of every pack had to attend?”
Daniel chuckled. He could just imagine. He also felt like a dope. If he had come to Jake earlier, maybe none of this would be an issue. It wasn’t like he ever thought he’d see Brom again. He didn’t even know that the McGregor Pack was part of the Wolf Council. They always kept kind of to themselves.
And that worried him. “Hey Jake, this is going to sound a little strange, but don’t let your guard down around any member of the McGregor Pack. Angus McGregor isn’t known for his fair play or morals.”
“Yeah, I kind of remember him from when I was with my birth pack. Angus McGregor was good friends with my father.” He smiled. “That right there gives me enough reason to keep my eye on the man.”
“It’s not just him, Jake,” Daniel warned. “I’d be wary of anyone in his pack.”
“Does that include Brom?”
“I want to say it doesn’t, but I just don’t know.” He dipped his head slightly. “He used to be the most honest, ethical man I ever met. He’d do anything for a member of his pack, give them the shirt off his back, provide them with protection and support, anything.”
“Sounds like a good man,” Jake said.
“He reminded me a lot of you.” Daniel shook his head indecisively. “Now—now I just don’t know.”
“Fair enough.”
“And I know I should have come to you sooner,” Daniel said. He shrugged his shoulders in resignation. “It’s just hard, you know? No one wants to admit that their mate doesn’t want them.”
“Are you sure that’s what happened?” Jake asked. He put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder in a show of support. “Could he just have been caught up in pack politics?”
Daniel shook his head in dismay. “No, he made it quite clear that he would never claim me as his mate.”
* * * *
Daniel smiled and dipped his head when he noticed that the members of his pack had encircled him. He was surrounded by them. He knew Jake had discussed his issue with Lucas and Leyland. He always did. Leyland must have squealed to everyone else.
He felt a warm glow flow through him at the show of support by his pack members. They had been the one good thing that had happened to him since leaving his birth pack. They always had his back.
People were milling about, pack with pack, as everyone got situated and waited for the Council of Elders to begin the opening ceremonies. As the words of the elders began to flow, Daniel gathered his strength.
He knew from the strong earthy, aroma that was uniquely Brom’s that the man was directly across the room from him. A part of him reveled in the heady scent that had been missing from his life for over five years. If he lifted his head just a little, he would see him.
Pushing his curls back from his ears, Daniel leaned his head back and gazed across the room. His breath caught in his throat. The sight of Brom after so many years was almost more than he could bear.
Even in a crowd, Brom’s presence was compelling. He had an air of authority and the appearance of one who demanded instant obedience. But there was a restless energy about him as if he were waiting for something. Daniel was curious as to what.
“Is that him?” Leyland asked.
Daniel nodded back to Leyland without looking away from his mate. He couldn’t. He was mesmerized. Daniel thought that five years would have lessened the spell the man had over him. He was wrong. Brom was still as devastatingly handsome as he was the day he kicked Daniel out of his life.
Daniel’s jaw clenched. He raised his chin with a cool stare in Brom’s direction. He was not going to let the man get to him. Brom didn’t want him? Fine. But Daniel wasn’t about to let the man know how much anguish that still brought him.
Cold dignity kept a stony look on Daniel’s face when Brom’s steel-blue eyes settled on him. The man’s expression showed shock, then stilled and grew somber. For an instant, wistfulness stole into his expression and a spark of some indefinable emotion filled his eyes.
Daniel smiled smoothly and nodded, betraying nothing of his tension. He’d slit his own wrists before he let Brom know that he was still affected by the man. But Brom’s eyes seemed to plead with Daniel for understanding as they pierced the distance between them.
Brom folded his hands together in front of him. He made a subtle show of glancing down at his hands. When he looked back up at Daniel, he seemed to try to impart a message to him. His brows flickered a little.
Daniel looked down at Brom’s hands and then wished he hadn’t. He felt a muscle quiver in his clenched jaw as he tried to hold himself together and not fall into a million pieces right there in the middle of the council ceremonies.
Settled on Brom’s pinky finger was the simple, gold braided ring Daniel had given the man when they had declared their love for each other. Daniel had a matching one on a leather thong around his neck. He never took it off.
It was the one concession he had given himself when he had left. It was his last tie to his mate, the mate that didn’t want him. Even knowing that Brom didn’t want him, Daniel hadn’t been able to give it up.
For a brief, undefined moment, hope flared in Daniel’s heart. Brom still wore his ring. That must mean something. Maybe Jake had been right. Maybe Brom did what he did because of pack politics. Maybe Brom still wanted him.
Just as quickly as that hope blossomed in his heart, it died a cold, hard death as a slinky blond woman walked up to Brom and handed him two small cubs. Daniel felt an acute sense of loss when the woman leaned up and kissed Brom on the cheek.
Daniel’s heart froze solid. He pressed his lips together as anger and grief overcame him. He tilted his chin up, gave Brom his frostiest smile, and turned away.
His smiled faded the moment he faced the other direction. He strolled towards the exit as if he hadn’t a care in the world, nodding to people as he mo
ved. The Council of Elders were only half done with their opening ceremony, but Daniel didn’t care. Grief and despair tore at him. He had to leave before he totally lost it.
The moment he passed into the hallway, Daniel leaned up against the wall. He closed his eyes, his heart aching with pain. He was abruptly caught by the elbow and firmly escorted down the hallway.
“Move,” Brom commanded. His tone was relatively civil despite the anger blazing in his blue eyes.
Daniel dug his heels in, refusing to take a single step. “Bite me,” he replied in a low voice, taut with anger.
Brom’s blue eyes darkened until they were nearly black. “I just might.”
Daniel ripped his arm away from Brom’s powerful hold. “You don’t have the right to tell me what to do. You’re not my alpha, and we both know you’ll never be my mate. Go fuck yourself.”
Daniel’s anger was like a cloak around his shoulder, shielding him from everything, as he stormed down the hallway to his room. He could feel Brom’s intense stare follow him every step of the way. Daniel refused to turn around and give Brom the satisfaction of knowing how much the man’s presence upset him.
He fumbled with the lock until another hand grabbed his key and pushed it in. Daniel’s heart raced as he realized that Brom had followed him. He was helpless to stop the man as he was pushed into the room. The door slammed and locked behind them.
Air rushed from Daniel’s chest as Brom pushed him up against the nearest wall, covering his body with his own. Brom’s handsome face was kindled with a sort of passionate beauty as he glared at Daniel.
“What in the hell are you doing here?” Brom growled.
Daniel struggled, pushing Brom away. “It’s called a council meeting, dumb ass.”
“I know what it’s called, Daniel,” Brom replied. “I want to know why you are here.”
“My alpha ordered me here, same as yours.”
“Who’s your alpha?”
“What the fuck do you care?”
Brom slammed his fist into the wall next to Daniel’s head. “Who’s your alpha?”
Unspoken Desires Page 2
