"What!" Nellie jumped up. "Where are they?"
"Just outside," the officer replied. "Come on in, boys." He turned the boys over to Will and Nellie. After the officer left, Mike was the first to speak. "What's the big deal?" he said, looking from Nellie's distraught face to glare at Will.
"Where were you?" Nellie scolded, her eyes now filled with tears of anger.
Mike shrugged. "Over in the old warehouse talking to a man."
"An old man, sort of thin and untidy and unshaved?" Nellie asked.
Mike shook his head. "No. He was big and bald."
"Why were you talking to him?" Nellie demanded.
Mike glared at her. "I don't see what the big deal is. The man was just asking Donnie and me some questions."
Will eyed Mike warily. "What kind of questions?"
"Geez. What's wrong with talking to—"
"Mike!" Nellie scolded. "You heard Will. What kind of questions?"
Mike compressed his lips. His eyes shifted to Donnie momentarily, then back to Nellie, and he replied, "He wanted to know where we were going, so I told him we were going up Johnstone Strait to Beaver Bay to watch whales."
"What else did he ask?" Nellie pressed.
Mike shrugged. "Just... who all was going."
"And you told him?"
"Sure. Why shouldn't I. It's no secret."
"Is that all?" Nellie asked.
"Well… uh… Yes," Mike replied, his eyes shifting nervously between Nellie and Will, which made Will especially uneasy. Something was definitely wrong, not just with the boys slipping off and talking to some man who was asking questions, but other incidents recently.
"No it's not all," Donnie interjected. "Tell 'em the rest. Tell ‘em about the gun."
"What about a gun?" Will asked, alarmed.
"The man had a gun," Donnie said to Will. "We saw it in a holster inside his coat when he leaned over. That's when we took off and started back here. But the policeman caught us."
Nellie looked at Will. "I want to call the police again, get them to at least question the man. Aren't there laws against carrying a concealed weapon?"
"Only that you need a permit. But the boys may be exaggerating," Will said, not wanting to alarm Nellie. But he suspected the boys were telling the truth.
Mike glared at Will. Nellie caught Mike's caustic look and said to Will, "If the boys said they saw a gun, I believe them. And I want to call the police."
Will noted the determined set to Nellie's mouth. "Go ahead then," he said. "I just hope it doesn't take too long because we need to get underway."
A few minutes later the policeman returned, questioned the boys and noted the man's description. Wanting to talk to the officer without the boys being present, Nellie sent Donnie back to his grandfather and Mike to his cabin, then she explained to the policeman about being followed by someone in a stolen car, and about the old man in the boathouse, even though he didn't match the description the boys had given. The policeman assured her he'd do some questioning and get back with them later. He also advised them to go ahead on their cruise as planned. And Will was only too eager to leave Port Townsend and be far out at sea.
Thirty minutes later, Will untied the lines and eased the Isadora out of the boat house. Standing at the helm, he contemplated the old man Nellie confronted in the boathouse, and the man Mike described to the policeman. It was also the first he'd heard of Nellie being followed by someone in a stolen car. It seemed she had her secrets from him as well.
But something was definitely amiss. Strange happenings he'd been unable to explain earlier seemed somehow related: the shuffling noise he'd heard in the boathouse a couple of nights before Nellie arrived and the battered cap he'd found on deck the next morning, which he suspected belonged to the old man. But the man with the gun the boys described—large, balding, dark bushy brows—he'd never seen before.
Will was more than just a little concerned. He had no idea what either man could want with Nellie, or any of them, or why anyone would want to know where they were going, but a gut feeling told him they'd meet both men somewhere along the way.
***
Guiding the Isadora out of the marina, they cruised through Port Townsend Bay and headed into the choppy waters of Admiralty Inlet. Making twelve knots, Will guided yacht into the Strait of Juan de Fuca and headed north, cutting through wind-whipped peaks that crested on a base of long ocean swells. After a while, Nellie climbed the ladder from the salon to the wheelhouse, reaching out to brace herself against the chart table as the Isadora pitched up through the crest of a swell and slid down into the trough between massive ridges of moving water.
Will glanced over at her. "What's Mike doing?" he asked from his stance at the helm.
"He's in his bunk playing solitaire," Nellie replied. "But he looked pretty drowsy the last I saw of him, so I suspect he's probably napping."
Will checked the compass heading and gave the wheel several turns. "He won't be napping much longer," he said. "We'll be heading abeam these swells before long and it's likely to get pretty rough."
For a while, neither spoke. Nellie stood at the starboard window, watching blue-green waves splash up from the bow and shower white spume over the fo'c'sle, while Will held the wheel with one hand, and turned to locate their position on the charts with the other. A wave slapped the bulwarks and slipped through the scuppers, spewing foam against the kayak and spray through a partially opened window of the wheelhouse. Nellie pulled the window shut and brushed droplets of water off her jacket.
Will reached over and clicked on the radar unit beside Nellie, then glanced at her, and said, "I'm sorry about keeping Mike's threat from you. But you also didn't tell me you'd been followed by someone in a stolen car. That came as a hell of a surprise."
"I didn't think you'd take us along if you knew," Nellie said.
"You could have at least given me that choice," Will replied.
Nellie looked at Will's sober face. This wasn't the way she'd expected the trip to start out. Three days before, Will would have been joking with her, or stealing a kiss. Now, he was keeping his distance, and she felt a hollowness she knew would be there until he held her in his arms again, which wouldn't happen unless she went to him, without conditions. Something she refused to do.
She looked through one of the large wheelhouse viewing windows at the dark clouds skating overhead and blinked several times, trying to hold back unexpected tears and keep them from emerging. She had no idea why she was feeling weepy, other than this was the culmination of two weeks of working on the boat in preparation for cruising on it once again, and with a man who had, for the first time since she lost Richard, allowed her to believe life could be good once more. Then everything began to unravel. She swiped a finger beneath each eye.
"Come here," Will said, reaching out and pulling her toward him.
Nellie moved to stand in the curve of Will's arm while he steered with one hand. "I'm sorry about being so emotional and taking it out on you," she said, "but you can't imagine what it's like to think your child's in danger." She knew the tears were not because of Mike, but rather from the relief she felt on being held again. She snuggled against Will, breathing in the blend of damp jacket and spicy after-shave.
"You feel good against me," Will said. "I missed what we had."
"I missed it too," Nellie replied, "but I'm very confused right now."
"About what? Your feelings for me, or letting things happen?"
"Both," Nellie replied. "I was a virgin on my wedding night and I never regretted it for a moment, even though it was challenging for us right up to the day of our wedding. But it was worth it because our sex life was special to us."
"So, you won't even consider an intimate relationship with me." It was a statement.
"I don’t know what I’m willing to consider right now," Nellie said. "I’m lonely for what I once had with Richard, but that's not reason enough to compromise my values."
"You don't have to be lonely," Wi
ll said, his hand moving idly up and down her side. "I can fill that void in your life. And when we make love, it won't be a quick roll around the bunk. It will be all about taking lots of time and giving you everything you need."
Nellie looked up at him. "What about your needs?"
Will smiled. "My needs are pretty singular. This is about you."
"Still, it wouldn’t be out of love that we'd be making love because that takes time," Nellie insisted, "so when all's said and done, we’d be having sex, not making love. There’s a soul-connected difference between the two. Marriage connects more than just bodies. It connects souls. When I make love again, I want to be joined body and soul."
A loud thump resounded off the starboard bow, reverberating through the hull. Will snatched his arm from around her and throttled down the engine, letting the boat drift. He moved to look out the window. "That was a drift log," he said, as they cruised past it. "You'd better help me watch for them, especially deadheads." He handed Nellie a pair of binoculars.
Nellie struggled to collect herself, her heart still thumping heavily in response to what had been taking place before the thump against the hull. Taking the binoculars, she scanned the rakes of green waves while watching for swamped logs. "Are you sure we'll be able to spot them in this choppy water?" she asked.
"They're not too hard to see," Will replied. "Just keep watching for the butt end of logs." He pressed a switch on the engine control panel, activating the bilge pump. Soon the sound of air sucking into the intake could be heard.
As Nellie peered through the binoculars, her mind was not on drift logs. All she could think of was how much she wanted what Will was offering. An almost overwhelming urge reminded her of a very potent need...
"Mom!" Mike yelled from below. "Zeke scratched Katy on the nose and it's bleeding." A series of barks ended in a high-pitched yelp as something crashed in the galley. "Now Zeke knocked over the stack of pots in the corner," Mike added.
Nellie set the binoculars down. "I'd better close Katy in my stateroom," she said to Will, "at least until we're in calmer waters." When she saw Mike, she noted at once how pale he was. "Don't you feel well, honey?" she asked.
Mike shrugged. "My stomach feels kind of funny."
"Then go up to the wheelhouse where it's cool and you'll feel better," Nellie said.
Mike didn't argue, just slowly plodded up the ladder to the wheelhouse, where he stood at the starboard window, ignoring Will.
Will checked his compass heading and turned the wheel several times. Hearing a thud against the bow, he cut the engine, and a log bumped and scraped alongside the boat. Reaching for the binoculars, he handed them to Mike, and said, "I need you to watch for drift logs."
Mike glared at him. "You can't tell me what to do. You're not my father."
"Oh, that excuse again." Will refused to let a pint-sized adversary intimidate him. "I'm not your father," he said, "but I am captain of this vessel and you're crew." He continued to hold out the binoculars.
Mike made no move to take them, and instead, raised his chin in defiance. "I don't want to look for logs, especially not for you," he clipped.
Will recognized a standoff when he saw one. He’d been a master at it when he was Mike’s age. Holding Mike’s gaze, he said, "I don’t much give a rat’s behind whether you want to do it or not. If we hit a deadhead we'll have a hole in the hull the size of a tree trunk and what you feel about me won't matter because this boat will go down and we'll all go down with her. Now take these glasses and start watching."
Mike reluctantly took the glasses.
"A deadhead's a saturated log that's floating straight up in the water," Will explained, figuring Mike had no idea what he was looking for. "All you'll see is the log end, which looks like a barrel or an oil drum that's barely sticking out of the water. So you have to watch carefully. If you see one, point it out fast so we can steer clear of it."
Mike didn't respond as he continued to study the water through the glasses. For a while he was quiet, but then there was a flurry of excitement when he spotted his first dead head. "Over there," he said in an excited voice, while pointing.
"Man, you've got eagle eyes," Will commended then took a little time to explain about the radar. Although Mike said nothing, Will knew, from the intent look in Mike's eyes, that he was taking it all in. After a while, Mike handed Will the binoculars and said, "Can I go now?"
"Sure," Will replied, "but you'd better send your mother up." As Mike turned to go, Will said, "By the way, you're a good spotter. I never would have seen those logs. Later I'll give you a chance at the wheel. You have the makings of a top first mate." Although Mike didn't respond, Will caught the slight curve to the boy’s lips and felt they'd made a connection, tenuous and short-lived though it would be.
Mike left the wheelhouse, and a few minutes later, Nellie took his place. Raising the binoculars to her eyes, she said, while looking for deadheads, "I think you made some headway with Mike. He seemed pretty excited about the prospect of taking a turn at the wheel. He also mentioned that you said he had the makings of a top first mate."
"He does. He's pretty quick to learn," Will said. "He needs to get his sea legs though. I think he was a little seasick when he first came up."
"He was," Nellie replied. "He'll probably be back up here tomorrow. He's too proud to wear a patch behind his ear, so the next best thing is to stay in the wheelhouse where he won't get sick.. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. It'll give you two a chance to get to know each other, which is a good thing. Mike needs someone to look up to. A father figure."
Eyes straight ahead, Will replied, "As long as Mike doesn't view me as that." He'd lost count of how many father figures he'd had by the time he was Mike's age. Looking back, he remembered how pointless it was to form relationships with any of them. They were nothing more than transitory links between home... and home...
He could feel Nellie's eyes boring into him as she said, "Can we talk about it?"
"No," Will replied. "There's no place in my life for Mike or any other kid. I'll do my best to teach him how to read radar and follow charts, and even how to navigate a boat, but that's where it ends. I just want to be clear on that." When Nellie said nothing, Will was tempted to retract his words, if only to hold onto the promise of what they could have together. But the fact was, he wasn't someone Mike or any other kid should look up to. He was a loner, had been since he was sixteen, and he wasn't heading down that dead end path, even if it meant an end to what he could have with Nellie. She deserved better.
***
That evening they dropped anchor in a quiet cove off the east coast of Vancouver Island and had a light dinner of prepared crab cakes, which were heated in the microwave, accompanied by stove-top scalloped potatoes from a box. Mike, exhausted from his first day of bracing his legs against a rocking boat, went to bed early. The wind had driven off the clouds and the sky was clear, so Nellie went to join Will on deck. Once away from Port Townsend, she'd given little thought to the two men they'd left behind. For now, she felt safe with Will in that sense, but more than apprehensive about where their relationship was headed... if there was even a chance for a relationship now. But maybe it wasn't the marriage commitment Will was avoiding, but the fact that Mike was part of the package. Not just Mike. Mike or any other kid, he'd said. And she wanted to know why. But she refused to spoil a star-filled night on deck with Will, addressing his hang up about children. She found him sitting on a rolled-out sleeping bag on the fantail deck, gazing across the water. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.
Will moved over, and said, "I was hoping you would."
Nellie sat beside him. Drawing her legs up, she wrapped her arms around her knees so she wouldn't be tempted to reach out to him. All afternoon she again toyed with the idea of entering into a relationship that would include intimacy without commitment, but in the end, she still wanted it all. Love, intimacy, commitment, and a father for Mike. A family joined by marriage. And all Will wanted was inti
macy. Attempting to dismiss that worrisome thought, she looked across the water, and said, "When I was a child, I'd sit on deck in this very spot while Uncle Vern pointed out the constellations." Her gaze followed the faint band of light of the Milky Way as it arched across the sky, then darted from one bright star of the Summer Triangle to the next. "Deneb... Vega... Altair." She laughed spontaneously. "I'm surprised I remember the names."
"It's also called the Navigator's Triangle," Will added, "the first stars of evening, so bright the navigator can get a fix on them while there's still enough light to see the horizon."
"Look there! Draco the Dragon," Nellie pointed to the stars curving around the Little Dipper like a big question mark. "Draco guards the Golden Apples. He lives in a beautiful garden beyond the mountains on which Atlas stands, and a band of nymphs dance around him, singing entrancing songs to keep him awake. See his eyes sparkling as they dance..." She continued with her tale, at last ending with, "...but slow-witted Atlas resumed his burden, and Hercules returned with the Golden Apples." She waited for Will's response. When he said nothing, she asked, "So what did you think?"
"About what?"
"Draco the Dragon." In the tenuous light, she caught Will's endearing smile and felt flutters inside her tummy. Strange how he affected her that way. "What's so amusing?" she asked.
"You. I could see the little girl you used to be." Will trailed his finger along her arm, tracing a path to her hand. "You seem contented tonight," he said, capturing her hand in his.
Nellie felt a tiny shutter as Will's hand curled around hers. "I am for the moment," she replied. Although she knew it was impermanent, she couldn't remember when she'd felt such a sense of calm. Nothing was solved. She had no job, no money, no car. And Mike's life was unsettled. Nor was there anything established between her and Will. But for now, nothing seemed to matter but the warmth growing inside from the feel of Will's hand holding hers, and the quiet look on his face as he smiled at her. She squeezed his hand. "Can we talk?"
Will eyed her intently. "I thought that's what we were doing."
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