by L. E. Bross
I let him take, even as I give. My fingers tangle in his hair and he grunts, turning us so that my thighs are pressed against the table. He’s in my space, surrounding me until there is nothing but Baz.
For as quiet as he is normally, there’s nothing silent about what he wants. Every touch, every nip, tells me exactly what he needs. My skin grows too hot under my uniform jacket and I want to rip it off, but I don’t want to stop touching him to do it.
He clasps my neck, holding me in place as his desperate gaze flies over my face. My lips feel swollen and I’m clinging to him like he’s my lifeline.
“Fucking swear to me that you’re not playing us,” he demands harshly. “I’ll give you what I have on your sister but I’m going with you, you understand? You want me to trust you again, then prove that you trust me.”
“Yes.” My agreement is instant. I don’t need to think about it at all.
I’d give anything to fix what I broke between us.
“If you’re lying to me, I will fucking destroy you, you hear me? Not just at school, but for the rest of your life.”
My eyes widen even as I nod. I have no doubt he can. In only a day, he wiped everything I’d done in the last two weeks at school, so I can’t imagine how far and wide he could affect my future.
“I understand.”
He leans his forehead against mine and kisses me again, softer this time, until I’m so lost in him I barely remember why I stepped into the room. When he finally pulls back, just enough so I can focus on him, his eyes are shining with emotion.
“Don’t fucking play us again.”
“I’d never do that. I don’t want to hurt any of you.”
One last brush of his lips and he moves away, back to his seat. My legs feel like jelly so I sink down onto my chair. I was ready to let him undress me right here in the computer room so it takes several minutes to get myself under control.
I do take my jacket off and loosen the black scarf around my neck, though.
His fingers fly over the keys, then he pulls out a pen, jotting something on paper.
It’s an address and in North Charlestown, less an hour away.
“She’s there?” I whisper, clutching the paper tight.
“It’s the last address on file that I found.” Baz looks over, searching my face. “You’re going right now, aren’t you?”
“I have to, Baz. God, this isn’t much further than where our foster home was. I can't believe she was that close the whole time.”
I think back to all the hours spent begging the social worker to tell me where she was and I could have walked to that neighborhood. At least it’s in a better area than where we lived in foster care, so hopefully she’s safe.
Even if not, she will be when I find her.
I stand and grab my bag with a shaky grip. This is it. What I’ve been searching for for months. And because of Baz, I don’t have to rely on Peter. I don’t have to listen to his ultimatums anymore.
With more hope than I expected to feel ever again, I hurry out the closest door to my car, Baz on my heels. Peter’s threats will mean nothing after today, which means I can tell the guys the whole truth.
I can untangle this web of lies and we can all be together, including Belle.
Chapter Two
Twenty minutes later, just as I turn off the highway, Baz grabs his phone.
“Ry wants to know where I am.”
When he doesn’t say more, I glance over at him.
“Are you going to tell him where you are?” I ask as I make a left and follow the GPS directions. I know exactly where I am now. There’s a pizza place up ahead that Nate used to take me to and I half expect to see his black Mustang in the parking lot.
I don't relax until after we’ve passed and he’s not there.
He doesn’t know I was arrested or that I went with Peter. I’m sure when I never came home he was livid. Nate tends to view people as property and he made sure everyone around knew I belonged to him.
It was part of the reason why I agreed to go with Peter.
I didn’t trust him after he cut me.
“Do you want me to tell him?” Baz asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“I’d rather you didn’t. Not until I know for sure. But I won’t ask you to lie. There’ve been too many of those between all of us.”
“In one quarter of a mile, turn right to your destination.”
Baz texts Ry back but I barely pay attention. My heart is climbing into my throat by the time I turn into a small parking lot. A sign states Livermoore Townhomes. Three identical cream-colored buildings make a U shape and each one has four doors along the front. The landscaping is neat and what little grass is there is well maintained. I exhale a breath. It’s not a shithole.
It’s number nine according to the address Baz found, so I park as close to that unit as I can. I remain still after the engine cuts off, my fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. I feel almost sick staring at the door with a ‘9’ on the front.
There’s a pink bicycle leaning against the building and a bucket of toys by the front door. I haven’t seen my sister in so long that I’m nervous now that’s she so close.
“You okay?” Baz asks, his gaze focused on the door as well.
“I’m fucking terrified,” I admit. “What if she hates me? What if she thinks I just let them take her and I didn’t try to find her?” I turn to look at Baz. “The last time I saw her she was screaming for me and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop them from taking her.”
Baz pries my fingers free and then links them with his own. The strength in his touch seeps under my skin and comforts me like nothing has so far.
“Then you explain it to her. But you can’t do that unless you walk up to the door and ask to see her first.”
He’s right. This is what I wanted and I’m too close to do anything but go knock on the door. I squeeze his hand then let go with a long exhale.
“Thank you. For coming with me. I thought I wanted to do this alone, but now that I’m here, I’m glad you are, too.” With a gulp of fresh air, I straighten my shoulders. “Okay, I can do this.”
“I’ll be here if you need me.”
I give Baz a smile. He knew I needed him here, but he’s also intuitive enough to know I have to do this part alone.
I get out of the car and walk toward the door, pausing next to the bike to run my finger over the tassels at the end of one handle. Belle always wanted a bike. I’m glad she got that.
With my heart in my throat, I knock and wait.
After a minute, the door swings open about five inches until a chain stops it. An older woman with grey hair twisted into a messy bun peeks out. She pushes her glasses up her nose and squints at me.
“Can I help you?”
“Hi. I’m looking for my sister. She lives here. As a foster. Her name’s Belle.” My words are as jumbled as my thoughts. Belle is just on the other side of this door.
I crane my neck trying to see inside, but the limited view shows nothing.
“I’m afraid that I don’t take in fosters anymore. Got too old. Haven’t had one in about three months now.” The woman squints and the furrows on her brow deepen. “What did you say her name was again?”
It takes me three tries to pull the picture of Belle from my back pocket and my hand shakes when I hold it out.
After the woman takes it, I fight the urge to yank it out of her hand. It’s all I have left of Belle.
“Oh yes, I remember her. Only had her a week, though. It was an emergency placement but they found a home for her pretty quickly. Sweet girl but she tried to run away twice. Looking for her sister I think.”
I suck in a breath. It would have hurt less if she punched me in the gut. Sourness coats the back of my tongue and I swallow back the urge to throw up.
“Do you know where she went?” I push forward so hard that the chain on the door tightens with a snap. The woman steps back and shoves the picture at me through the gap. He
r eyes narrow behind her glasses.
“Why do you need to know?” There’s a shrewdness in her eyes now as she studies me closer. “I read the file. You took her out of her foster home and into a gang leader’s house. You kidnapped her and put her in danger.”
Hot indignation races up my spine and I stand up straight. She has no idea what really happened. That my foster parents kicked me out.
“She’s my sister and she belongs with me.” I shove my hand against the door but of course the chain keeps it from opening. “Where is she?”
“You need to leave. I can’t help you.”
I try and rein in my agitation and calm my voice. “Please, this is the only address I have. Just tell me where she went.”
She pulls her glasses off and rubs her eyes. Finally she says, “Wait here.”
When the door clicks shut I feel it in my bones and stand, practically vibrating with energy and hope. I glance at the parking lot and see Baz still in the car. He gives me a wave and I give him a thumbs up.
This isn’t the outcome I hoped for, but we’re still moving forward which is more than I’ve done the past few months. The longer I wait, the more I need to move. I bounce on my toes and bite my thumbnail. Five more minutes pass and a lump starts to form in my stomach.
I give in and knock, but no one answers this time.
I knock louder in case the woman can’t hear well, but it gets ignored.
By the time I feel Baz come up behind me I’m pounding on the door with both fists. Panic overwhelms me and I gasp for air, even as I shout for her to open up.
“Ever, you need to stop.”
Baz wraps his arms around me and pins my arms at my side, but I just kick out with my boot, making a much more satisfying thud.
“She knows where Belle is!” I yell. “Open the damned door and tell me!”
A man pokes his head out from number ten and scowls at me.
“I’m calling the cops if you don’t stop banging on the door. If she don’t want you to come in, then go away.”
I turn my rage on him, though Baz tightens his hold to keep me in place.
“She knows where my sister is,” I all but scream. “She’s lying. There’s toys all over, a pink bike, I know she’s here.” I twist suddenly and drive my heel into the door again and leave a satisfying black mark. “I know she’s here, you witch.”
“Those toys are hers, but they’re for the neighbor kids. She don’t have any kids anymore. Not for months. Now, you need to leave.”
“Ever, come on,” Baz urges. “She’s not here. We’ll keep looking. I’ll keep looking.”
My gaze locks on the bike and it finally sinks in. Belle really isn’t here. I wilt instantly and if not for Baz, I would have ended up in a pile on the ground. My anger-fueled adrenaline high crashes at my feet.
“You wanted me to trust you, so now you have to trust me, okay? It may take a while but I will find her.”
With no other choice, I let Baz lead me to the car. I keep looking over my shoulder, hoping that the woman will have a change of heart, but even as Baz tucks me into the passenger seat and pulls the seatbelt around me, nothing moves at number nine.
The last thing I see before we turn out of the parking lot is the pink bike propped up against the building. My heart breaks into a hundred pieces.
The ride back to Mt. Pleasant is silent and when Baz pulls my car into the garage, it’s all I can do to get out and go inside.
I curl up into a ball on my balcony chair and stay there all afternoon, ignoring the barrage of messages on my phone.
Someone knocks on the door at one point, but goes away when I don’t answer. I don’t know what to do. No, I do know what I have to do and that’s the problem. Everything keeps circling back. My only hope is Peter.
I’m right back where I started.
It shouldn’t surprise me, nothing in my life has ever worked out in my favor. Even everything I have right now, it’s tied up in ultimatums. It’s not really mine, I’m just borrowing it until I give Peter the timepiece I stole.
Which is tucked into my brown boot at the far end of my closet.
I didn’t give it to him yet. I’m not sure why, but life has taught me to never show all your cards until you know you can win.
I don’t trust Peter and the timepiece is all I have for leverage.
I’m going to need it now.
It’s dark outside and the house is quiet when I finally pull myself out of the chair. My muscles scream in protest but my stomach’s been trying to eat itself for the past hour and I need to get some food.
The clock on the microwave says it’s past midnight and I squint against the glare of the fridge light. The only thing that looks appetizing is a bowl of grapes, so I grab them and bottled water and start across the kitchen to sit.
Movement outside catches my eye and when I move closer to the window, I see Baz swimming laps. I was such a mess on the ride home that I never thanked him for his help. Now he’s back in the pool, trying to outrun his demons, and I’m afraid that’s my fault.
I completely shut down when we left the apartment, shut him out even though he tried to comfort me. I’m just not used to having people on my side. People who care about my feelings.
Baz stops swimming when he sees me standing next to the pool steps. I changed out of my uniform and into shorts and a tank top. It’s cooler out tonight, so I leave the throw draped over my shoulders. I sink down and sit, dipping my toes into the heated water.
Baz swims closer and then plants his hands on the step closest to my feet and just floats there, looking up at me. His ridiculously long eyelashes are spiked from the water and his hair is plastered to his forehead.
“What's up? Everything okay?”
The concern in his eyes eases the tightness in my chest a little. At least he’s not consumed by demons like last time. Maybe I didn't drive him into the darkness again.
I gently drag my foot back and forth, watching the ripples fan out around us.
“I never thanked you for today. So thank you.”
He studies my face for a few seconds, then he pulls himself closer, his chest moving between my legs while he braces his hands on each side of my hips. His body floats out behind him and in the underwater lights, I can see the way his muscles ripple when he moves his legs.
“This changes what you said, doesn’t it? You aren’t going to tell us why you’re here, what you’re doing with Luc, are you?”
There’s no accusation in his tone, only resolve. Acceptance. We were so close but now, I can't promise him anything.
Guilt makes my cheeks hot. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I don’t want it to, but I can’t see any way around it.”
Baz shifts even closer and I can’t resist touching him any longer. I trace my finger over his cheekbone, up to his temple, then gently move the wet strands back.
He leans into my touch with a sigh and closes his eyes. After a minute they flutter open.
“I need to ask you something. It’ll probably sound weird, but I can't stop thinking about it so I have to know. Are you in witness protection?”
A laugh bursts from my lips before I realize he’s completely serious.
“Uh, no.”
He pulls himself from the water and sits next to me, leaning back on his elbows. It’s hard to remember that by day, he’s a computer nerd, when there's this much lean muscled flesh right next to me. I try and fail to keep my gaze on his face, instead mentally tracing the deep grooves near his hips that lead me to what’s currently submerged.
I wonder if he’s ever skinny-dipped in this pool.
I’d be more inclined to learn to swim if that was the reward.
A smile brushes over my lips as I imagine it, but Baz gives me a stern look.
“Seriously, everyone leaves a digital footprint but I can’t find anything on you or your sister. It’s government level encryption. The kind of tech you’d see at Panchard honestly.”
It hasn’t
occurred to me until right this moment, but would Peter use his own tech to hide Belle? I have a feeling that he wants the timepiece badly enough to do just about anything.
It would make sense.
Baz looks over and pins me in place. I can’t hide my reaction from him.
“You know something. I can’t help you find her unless you tell me, Ever.”
“I’m afraid,” I admit. If Peter has hidden her away, then he’d have the power to make her truly disappear if he figures out what I’m doing. If he catches wind that Baz is helping me, he’ll know.
“Is someone looking for you? Is that why Peter brought you here, to protect you?”
I huff out a laugh and look away. If Peter is the one hiding Belle, then he’s the only one who can tell me where she is. His software is virtually hack proof, I’ve read stories about it. They use it for planting spies into terrorist cells for Christ’s sake. Hiding one little girl would be easy for a man like Peter.
If Baz couldn’t find her, and he’s the resident computer genius, then I have no choice.
Baz sighs. “And we’re back to you not telling me anything.”
I reach out and clasp his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together.
“I want to, I swear. I just...I can’t. Not until I find Belle. I’m sorry, I really am. I understand if you can’t accept that. I’m not sure I would in your place.” I drop his hand but he reaches out and tangles our fingers back together, holding firm but not too tight.
“Look, I hate that you don’t feel like you can trust me enough to tell me…”
I make a sound of protest but he presses his free finger against my lips.
“But I’d do anything to keep Ry and X safe, and if that means lying, just for a little while,” he looks at me pointedly, “then I can accept that.”
Tears burn the back of my eyes. God, I’ve cried more lately than in my entire life. A rotten foster home I can handle, but finding someone who trusts me like this, it makes my heart ache.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” I look down at our entwined fingers and feel so much, things I never thought possible. “All of you.”
