by Tanith Morse
‘And so guys, it is with deep regret that I have to inform you that there are going to be big changes around here. There’s no easy way of saying this, so I’ll get straight to the point. As of this coming April, your jobs will no longer exist.’
‘What!’ There was a collective gasp from everyone. Cries of bitterness and indignation. Shouts of ‘I’m going to the Union!’ and ‘I’m going to an employment tribunal!’
Angela raised her hands for calm. ‘Please, please let me finish. Right, okay. So, your jobs will no longer exist, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have put a proposal forward to the members. I have asked that we overhaul your current job descriptions and implement a new, higher graded post. These roles will be re-named Customer Specialists, and those who are successful at interview stage will be rewarded with a salary two scales higher than the one you are currently on.’
‘So what you’re basically saying,’ Margery said, ‘is that we’re all going to have to reapply for our jobs?’
Angela hesitated. ‘In a manner of speaking, yes.’
‘And how many “Customer Specialist” posts are there available?’
‘Well, that hasn’t yet been confirmed. I mean, the members haven’t even given this the go-ahead and -’
‘Just a brief estimate will do.’
‘Um, er, about twenty.’
‘Twenty?’ Margery was incredulous. ‘Twenty? So, if I’ve got this right, that means half of us in this room are going to be out of a job come April?’
‘In a manner of speaking, yes.’
A deadly hush descended over the room. Caroline wiped away a tear and Rodney looked like a bewildered Dachshund. I exhaled loudly. Angela Towner was really starting to piss everyone off.
Sabina shook her head. ‘What a time to tell us, eh? And just before Christmas too. Talk about Scrooges.’
‘But Angela,’ Caroline sobbed, ‘can you at least guarantee that these new jobs will be ring fenced to this department only? I mean, you won’t advertise the jobs externally, will you?’
‘I’m sorry but I can’t make any promises, Caroline. In all likelihood, the vacancies will be open to everyone in the council. Possibly even the general public.’
‘What hope do we have then?’ Margery snapped. ‘It looks like we had all better start job hunting from tomorrow.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t be quite that dramatic,’ Angela said, ‘I mean, April is still a long way off.’
Margery turned on her with blazing eyes. ‘Maybe it is for you, Angela. But for those of us with kids, for those of us with mortgages, who don’t have the luxury of a box at Ascot to comfort us, it might as well be tomorrow. People like us don’t have a six-figure salary and a gold-plated pension to cushion the blow of redundancy. Thanks a lot, Angela. You’ve just given us all a wonderful Christmas present. I hope you’re proud of yourself.’
‘How dare you speak to me like that!’
‘I can speak to you how I bloody well like. You’ve just as good as told me that I’m out of a job. What did you expect me to do - shake your hand? What planet are you on, woman?’
‘Get out!’ Angela roared. ‘I will not be spoken to in such a disrespectful manner.’
‘I’m not going anywhere until my union rep gets here. You can’t make me.’
‘Get out now!’
We were stunned into silence. All eyes were on Margery now, as she engaged in a battle of wills with Angela: two wildebeests eyeing each other up like Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef.
You could hear the sound of a pin-drop.
Then Jaiman stepped in and whispered something in Margery’s ear. With great reluctance, she followed him outside. Angela hurried after them. The door slammed and we heard a chorus of raised voices followed by a long, painful silence.
William nervously adjusted his tie. ‘Right, er, I think it’s best we get back on the phones now. The service level is bound to have dropped while we’ve been in here talking. With regards to this matter, I will keep you all updated on any future developments.’
‘I think I need a drink,’ Caroline sighed as we filed out. ‘Who’s up for going to the pub after work?’
‘I am!’ everyone said.
* * *
Whetherspoons was unusually empty for a Thursday evening. We entered through the main doors and found ourselves a long table at the back of the pub to accommodate us. Unsurprisingly, all the managers except for a sheepish looking Jaiman had declined to join us. They obviously had no intention of being thrown to the lions just yet.
‘Right, let’s have a little whip around shall we?’ Jaiman smiled. He took a scrunched up piece of paper out from his pocket and prepared to take notes. ‘So what’s everyone drinking? I don’t mind going to the bar if someone will help me carry them.’
No one said anything. We were all still feeling rather jaded.
He wiped his brow with his sleeve and gave a toothy grin. ‘Tell you what, how ‘bout I make this first round on me? Just tell me what you want and I’ll get it. No expense spared.’
‘How long have you known?’ someone asked.
‘What?’
‘How long have you known about the redundancies?’
‘Honestly, I was just as shocked as you were,’ Jaiman replied meekly, ‘I had no idea this was coming. I think it’s well out of order. I mean, telling you guys just before Christmas is so wrong, isn’t it? I think Angela has handled this very badly.’
‘That’s an understatement,’ Margery said darkly. ‘I’d love to wipe the smirk off that silly cow’s face.’
There were murmurs of agreement around the table.
I studied Margery for a second. Studied her fat face and dodgy Kevin Keegan perm, her bad skin and bad dress sense and wondered why she was always so aggressive towards people. I wondered if she had a louche, domineering husband at home barking orders, screaming at her to get his tea ready. I wondered if she had no control of her personal life, instead choosing to vent her frustrations at work. I wondered if she ever felt as fat and ugly as I did, if she cried herself to sleep at nights, praying that she would wake up with a different body or face. Perhaps we had more in common than I thought.
Margery turned her glassy eyes on everyone. ‘I hope you’re all with the union, cos it’s important we stick together. There’s more power in numbers, know what I mean? What that bitch told us today is illegal. I’m certain that they can’t just dissolve our jobs like that. Tomorrow, I’m gonna seek legal advice from the Citizen’s Advice Bureau.’
‘Oh, what Angela did is legal all right,’ Barry Hopkins said. ‘It’s legal cos they’ve gone about it very sneakily. By terminating our contracts, and completely doing away with the current job description, they have saved the council thousands of pounds in legal disputes.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, had they allowed us to keep our jobs and simply asked us to take a pay cut, they’d have had the full weight of the union on them. In the public sector, you can’t just cut people’s salary like that. But you can terminate their jobs.’
Jaiman shuffled awkwardly in his seat. ‘Okay, so what’s everyone drinking?’ He took the orders and scurried off to the bar.
Margery watched him through narrowed slits.’ They’re all the same, these managers. You can’t trust any of them. At the end of the day, their jobs are secure so they’ve no idea what we’re going through. How can they possibly relate?’
‘Jaiman’s all right,’ Caroline said warmly. ‘He’s not like the rest of them. I think he’s really sweet.’
‘No he isn’t,’ Margery snapped. ‘You’re just saying that cos you fancy him. Believe me, Caroline, if he had the chance to sell you out, he would. Do you really think if Angela told him to sack you he’d think twice about it? No love, he’d do it in a heartbeat. It takes a different breed of human to be a manager. They’re not like us. They’re cold and cruel and ruthless. They don’t have a shred of decency in them. Trust me, Jaiman will always look out for numb
er one.’
‘But isn’t that what everyone does?’ I asked. ‘Look out for number one, I mean.’
Margery looked across the table at me. ‘Ah, it speaks,’ she cackled.
Ignoring her jibe, I continued, ‘I don’t think you’re being fair to the managers, Margery. I mean, they’re just doing their job. I don’t think any of them enjoys laying people off.’
‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘I’m just giving you my opinion, that’s all.’
‘Well, I’d prefer it if you didn’t give one. I see now why you never talk. When you do open your mouth, crap comes out.’
The whole table fell silent.
Sabina gave a nervous cough. ‘Er, I think I’ll go to the ladies.’ She made a sign at me to follow her. I managed to hold my composure until we got to the toilets. Then I exploded in a barrage of sobs at the basin. Sabina came behind me and patted my back soothingly.
‘There, there, don’t let her get to you babe. Everyone knows Margery’s a bitch. She’s like that to everyone.’
‘I don’t know why she hates me so much, Sabina. She’s always had it in for me, right from the word go.’
‘It’s because you’re such a nice person. Margery’s just a bully. She always goes after people she thinks are weaker than her. Don’t even bother getting worked up over it, Maddy. She’s not worth it.’
I leaned over the basin, patted some cold water on my face and looked up in the mirror. My face was all red and puffy. I turned and looked at Sabina. Forced a smile. ‘I’m going home,’ I whispered. ‘I’m not in the mood anymore.’
She nodded understandingly. ‘Are you sure you’re going to be okay getting home babe?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
Sabina gave me a hug. She smelled fresh like Ariel washing powder.
Chapter Fourteen
I was still seething when I got home that night. I hated myself for not having the guts to stand up to Margery, hated the fact that I was such a wimp. I had never been good at confrontations with women. Even at school, when the other girls had made fun of me and teased me about my obsession with Bret, I had found it impossible to defend myself.
As I lay on the sofa watching Eastenders, I kept replaying the events of the evening over and over again in my head, envisaging different scenarios, things I could have said back to her. Then I started thinking about William’s mid-life crisis jibe. Did I really come across as some sad old spinster who had lost her grip on reality? Perhaps I was in need of a makeover. God knows I’d spent the last decade styling my hair like some sad middle-aged housewife. I wasn’t really helping my cause was I?
By the time Eastenders had finished, my mind was made up. Bugger my bad credit rating; I was going to have some fun for once. I was going to have a complete image over-haul to make myself appear younger, hipper and fresher. I was so sick of dressing like Margaret Rutherford at a funeral. I’d be damned if William was ever going to mistake me for some desperado again. No, this was the dawn of a new me. And, more importantly, I’d have something to surprise David with on his return – a new improved Madeline Smith!
I plugged in my laptop and cradled it between my knees on the sofa. As I waited for the Internet to connect, I felt myself growing more upbeat. Now that I had something positive to focus on, life didn’t seem so miserable. There was something for me to look forward to.
Once connected, I began surfing the Net looking for credit card deals. I needed to find a company that offered me credit with little to no background checks. In other words, a credit card that had a phenomenally high interest rate – not a bright idea I confess, but I was now too fired up to care. I would fund my new image and to hell with the consequences. After all, I told myself, you only live once.
My new card with a £2000 overdraft limit arrived in the post a week later. I immediately went to Canary Wharf and booked myself a cut and style at Tony & Guy. My hair was normally a dark brown, but I had decided to go for red highlights.
‘Why don’t you go all out and do a Christina Hendricks?’ the chirpy hairdresser suggested as we gazed at my unruly locks in the mirror.
‘Christina Hendricks?’ I frowned.
‘Yeah, you know . . . do the whole hot redhead thing. I think it’d look really cool on you.’ The young blonde grabbed a handful of my hair and chewed gum ferociously at her reflection.
I tilted my head to one side. As gorgeous as Miss Hendricks was, I wasn’t ready to go quite that red. I didn’t have the cheekbones to carry it off. So in the end, we settled on dark auburn with golden brown highlights.
My cheery little hairdresser (Katie from Shadwell) carefully feathered the front and back with her scissors. I told her sternly I didn’t want to lose too much of the length as my hair was one of my best (and only) assets. When I looked in the mirror at the finished result I was blown away. My hair glowed with health and the cut had given me an air of sophistication I didn’t think possible. I looked like a total diva.
‘Well, what d’ya think?’ Katie beamed, holding up a little hand mirror for me to check out the back.
I patted my head, marvelled at its softness. ‘I absolutely love it. Thank you so much.’
‘Yeah, beautiful innit? I’m well chuffed.’
After I’d finished in the hairdresser, I went to Boots in search of some make-up. I hadn’t worn so much as mascara since my teens so felt a bit clueless about what to get. When I reached the make-up counter, a heavily made-up girl appeared and tried to sell me a Lancôme face cream set with a limited edition bag – all on the condition that I spent thirty pounds or more on cosmetics. I shook my head, told her that I wasn’t interested in face creams, just make-up.
She sat me down at the counter and proceeded to give me a mini makeover right then and there.
‘What kind of look are you going for?’ she asked.
‘Something natural,’ I murmured as she blended foundation into my cheek.
‘Well, you’ve got really pale skin. Do you want to go for a bronzer or something? Give yourself a lovely sun-kissed look?’
‘Oh no, nothing too drastic. I want to maintain my natural skin tone. I just want a bit of a shimmer, that’s all.’
The girl nodded. I was hypnotised by her extremely large nose ring.
‘Right, okay,’ she grinned, ‘you want a flawless finish without making it look theatrical. In other words, you want make-up that doesn’t look like you’ve got anything on.’
‘Exactly!’ I beamed.
‘Just close your eyes and lean your head back. I’m gonna work some magic here . . .’
About ten minutes later, she handed me a mirror to check out her handiwork. ‘Oh wow! That looks fantastic!’ I gasped. My face had never looked so immaculate. My skin had an ethereal glow, and the blusher she had used gave my features a dewy radiance. I was impressed.
‘All right, I’ll take it all.’
The girl grinned broadly. She was obviously working on commission and keen to close the deal.
‘Wicked! Just come over to the till and I’ll throw in that make-up bag we talked about.’
Somehow, I ended up leaving Boots £70 lighter, but I didn’t care. The makeover had left me positively glowing. As I walked through Canary Wharf, my phone started to beep. I glanced at it and read a text message from Beth. We were due to meet in Prêt A Manger at three-thirty.
Taking a deep breath, I started walking towards our designated meeting spot. My sister would be the first person to see my new look, and I dreaded her verdict. Beth didn’t mince her words when it came to telling you what she thought. Without a doubt, I knew if I’d made a disaster of it, she’d be the first to let me know.
As soon as I entered Prêt A Manger, I heard an ear-splitting shriek from one of the back tables. Beth was running towards me, arms outstretched to embrace me in her infamous bear hug.
‘Darling, what have you done to yourself?’ she squealed.
I drew away from her, fearful. ‘Er, do you like i
t? Is it too much?’
‘You look absolutely divine, darling. I’m loving the hair. That colour is wonderful on your skin. Where did you have it done?’
‘Tony & Guy.’
‘How much did it cost?’
I told her as discreetly as I could.
‘Hmm not bad. I might have to get mine done now. You look simply gorgeous!’
My cheeks coloured up. It was at times like this that I adored my sister. When she complimented me, it made me feel like everything was right with the world.
After we had paid for our coffees, we took a window seat. Beth couldn’t get over the change in me.
‘Darling, I don’t why you didn’t start wearing make-up ages ago. It really brings out your features.’
‘Thank you.’
She took a sip of coffee, looked at me shrewdly. ‘So, let me guess what this is all in aid of? Our dear David Powell no doubt.’
‘No, not in the least. I just felt like having a change, that’s all.’
‘Bollocks. I know you, Maddy. You wouldn’t go to all this trouble just for the hell of it.’ She flashed a mischievous grin and asked me if I’d heard from him. When I told her I hadn’t, she immediately started grilling me further.
‘So what is the situation between the two of you? Are you getting together or what?’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Where did he go again?’
‘He’s in Paris, Cologne or somewhere.’ I tried to feign nonchalance.
‘He could have at least phoned you, Mads. You must be going crazy.’
‘No, honestly I’m fine. He’s probably just been really busy. You know how these fashion shoots are.’
‘I don’t actually. All I know, darling, is that if I was really into someone, I wouldn’t be able to go for months without speaking to them.’
‘It hasn’t been months,’ I replied indignantly, ‘David only left in November.’
‘Okay, a month then. Either way, I think he’s behaved disgracefully.’
I shook my head. There was just no reasoning with Beth sometimes.
‘So,’ she continued, ‘where do you see this relationship heading? Marriage, kids?’
