"Lucius, don't you have a gift for Antanasia, too?" Dorin nudged.
Lucius snapped back from some private reverie. "Yes, yes. Of course."
"Really, Lucius?" He'd been so detached, so drawn into himself, that I certainly hadn't expected him to go shopping on my behalf.
I watched with anticipation as he reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a box. A tiny case. Red velvet. Like the kind of box rings come in. Engagement rings.
Both my parents sucked in their breaths. You could hear the sound of air whistling past their lips. With the exhale, a few crumbs of the hideous cake dripped out of Dad's open mouth.
Suddenly my own heart was racing, too.
Lucius slid the box across the table. "Here. Happy birthday. Many happy returns."
“Oh, goodness," Mom was saying. "I'm not sure . . ."
I willed my fingers not to shake as I reached for the box and flipped open the lid. Is this going to be it? Did Lucius change his mind? Are we going through with the pact?
But no.
Inside, lying on a small square of pure white velvet, was not a ring, but a necklace, with a stone so deeply crimson as to be almost black.
It was beautiful.
I loathed it.
I nearly reeled from the disappointment that squeezed my chest, making it difficult to breathe. At the sight of the ring-sized container, I'd really believed that Lucius had changed his mind about fulfilling the pact. For the briefest moment, I'd pictured us together. Our whole future had flashed before me. Me. Lucius. Peace among vampires. Safety in each other's arms, no matter what the Elders or our fellow students threatened. For the briefest moment, I'd believed the small box had held the promise of all that.
But of course, looking across the table at Lucius, I realized that my hopes had been absurd. His was not the posture of a man proposing marriage. He sat upright, eyes neutral, self-contained in his new, serenely disinterested state. Lucius Vladescu wasn't a suitor about to marry. He was a vampire about to be destroyed. Waiting for what would converge upon him.
I wanted to scream and hurl the necklace across the room, like a petulant child who didn't get the toy she desired. But I wasn't a petulant child. I was a devastated young woman, and I had to at least exhibit a grace I didn't feel.
"Thank you," I managed to say. "It's lovely." Then I snapped the lid shut and set the box aside. "I'm rather tired. If you don't mind, I think I'll go upstairs."
My parents both looked sad and drained, and I realized that they were also being dragged down by my too-apparent suffering and their concerns for me and Lucius. Pushing back my chair, I went over to Mom and hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much for a wonderful birthday. You're the best mother ever." I moved to my dad. "And you're the best dad. Of all time."
"You're a beautiful young woman, Jessica," Dad said, voice catching in his throat. "We're both proud of you."
Pulling free of Dad's embrace, I nodded to Dorin and Lucius. "Good night, and thank you," I said.
"Good night, Antanasia," Dorin chirped. "Many happy returns!"
Lucius didn't say a word. He just sat there, staring at the rejected gift.
I maintained my composure all the way up to my bedroom, even after I was out of earshot of my family. Even as I undressed and pulled on my nightgown, I didn't yield to my tears. I saved my sobs until I'd climbed into bed, buried my face in my pillow, and smothered them, so no one would hear. I would not make my parents worry even more than they already did.
“Jessica.”
His voice came from my door.
I rolled over to see, through my tears, the wavering shape of Lucius standing in my doorway. I swiped at my eyes, embarrassed to have been caught weeping.
He entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him, and came over to me, sitting down on the bed.
"Please, don't cry," he soothed. "There is nothing worth crying over. It is your birthday."
"Everything is wrong," I protested, grinding away my tears with the heels of my palms.
"No, Jessica," Lucius soothed, pulling away my hands. He gently drew his thumb beneath my eyes, first one then the other, wiping the tears. "For you, things will be right. This is a happy day for you. Your eighteenth birthday is an important milestone. Please, I cannot bear your tears."
"A happy day?" I was incredulous.
"The box . . . you thought it was something else," Lucius said. "I saw your face. You were disappointed. You thought I had undergone a change of heart..."
"Yes," I said, still sniffling.
"No, Jessica." He shook his head. "Never. You must forget all that."
"I can't," I said, reaching out for him. But Lucius stood, rising quickly, almost like he was scared to touch me, and I knew that for all his cool detachment, a part of him still felt drawn to me. That he had always felt drawn to me, as I had— and did—to him.
"You did not give me the opportunity to explain my gift," he said, reaching into his pocket and again retrieving the box. He held it out to me. "It is better than a ring, for you. Better than a promise of. . . what? Eternity with a doomed vampire?"
"Nothing could have made me happier than your agreement to the pact," I said, refusing to take the box.
"Oh, Jessica, abandon those notions in favor of what I can offer." He extended his hand again, the box on his palm. "Did you not recognize the contents?"
I was confused, but stood up, curious, reaching for the box. "Recognize it?"
"From the photograph. I know you've looked at her, Jessica. I knew you would, in your own time. When you were ready."
My mother. It was the necklace from the photograph he'd tucked in my book. I snapped open the lid again. "Oh, Lucius. Where did you get it?"
"It was held for you, in Romania. To be given to you on this occasion. It was your mother's favorite possession, and it is my honor to deliver such an important keepsake to you. I hope you wear it many years in good health, with good fortune."
I went to my desk and picked up the photograph in the silver frame, looking at the bloodstone that graced my mother's throat. The bloodstone that I now held in my other hand, tangible evidence of Mihaela Dragomir's existence. A real link to her. The stone lay on the velvet, deep red, like a real heart. A heart transplanted from my mother to me.
Lucius came up behind me, resting his hands upon my shoulders. "Is she not beautiful, powerful, regal. . . just like you?" he asked.
"Do you really believe that?"
"Yes," Lucius said. "And I think you have come to believe it, too."
"Then—"
"No." Lucius didn't even allow me to bring up the pact.
I replaced the photograph on the desk and turned to face my mirror. Removing the necklace from the box, I held it up to my throat.
Lucius followed me, watching my reflection. "Allow me. Please." He again stepped behind me, taking the delicate chain from my fingers. I swept my hair off my neck, and Lucius slipped the necklace around my throat and sealed the clasp.
The stone was cool against my skin, much as my vampire mother's touch would have been. As I watched myself in the mirror, the power I'd felt growing inside of me—her power— surged with even greater strength. The connection I'd been forging with Mihaela Dragomir was finally welded tight with the clasping of that fragile chain, and I could almost hear her whispering in my ear. "Do not give him up for lost yet, Antana-sia. That is not our way. Your will is as strong as his, and his love as strong as yours."
I turned to face Lucius, and I didn't wait for him to pull away, or draw me close, or make any movement. I placed my hands on his chest, slipped them upward, and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Antanasia, this cannot be. . . ." Lucius clasped my wrists in his strong hands, as though to push me away.
"It can be," I promised him, holding firm, my fingers linking behind his neck, lacing into his black hair.
"Why can I not do as I should?" He groaned, giving up easily, not only accepting my embrace, but answe
ring it. "I should have gone by now ... I waste time, just to be near you, I fear. And for what? A few more moments before I am nothing but one of your memories? A tragic entry in a young woman's diary?"
"You stayed for this moment," I said, allowing him, then, to take control, as I knew he would want. I had wielded all the power Id needed. I had drawn him back from the cold distance. Now I wanted Lucius to kiss me. To bite my throat. To fulfill what wed both wanted for so long. Ever since he'd leaned over me in the kitchen on the first day he'd arrived at our house, his hand brushing my cheek. Ever since he'd met my eyes and asked, "Would it be so repugnant, really, Antanasia? To be with me?"
Even then, I'd known, deep inside, that it would be far from repugnant. That it would be something miles and miles beyond nice. That it might just be bliss.
Lucius hesitated just one more moment, staring into my eyes. "I am no less dangerous to you, Antanasia," he whispered. "Whatever we do ... it is only for tonight. It changes nothing. I will leave to meet my destiny, and you will stay here to carry out yours."
"Don't think about that now," I begged. Because I did not believe that what we did that night would change nothing. I believed it could change everything. "Just forget the future for now."
"As you wish, my princess," Lucius said, closing his eyes, giving in to me. He leaned down to brush his cool, rough lips against mine, first gently, then more insistently.
I snaked my fingers deeper into his hair, pulling him against me, and when I did that, Lucius made a hungry little sound, slipping his hands up into my dark tangle of curls, and we kissed harder, like we were famished for each other. Like we were devouring each other.
And as we kissed, really kissed, something inside of me was smashed, like a splitting atom, erupting with all the force of a shattering nucleus. And yet I was strangely at peace, too. It was like I'd found my place in the universe, in the chaos, and Lucius and I could go along locked together throughout time without end, like pi, existing infinitely, irrationally, spinning through time.
His lips moved down to my throat, and my incisors began to ache at the touch of his fangs, which brushed my skin, sharp against me. He traced his teeth along the length of my neck, down to where the bloodstone rested in the hollow, close to my breastbone.
"Lucius, yes," I urged him, opening my throat as far as I could, offering and begging. "Don't stop . . . please don't stop this time..."
If he bites me, he would be mine. . . . Always. . .
"No, Antanasia." He fought himself, but I pressed him to myself again, feeling his fangs prick at my flesh, almost enough to pierce the skin, and my own teeth sharpened against my gums, nearly ripping through.
"Yes, Lucius . . . my fangs ... I can feel them ..."
"No. "Lucius regained control of himself then, but it was a tenuous control, and he slid his hands around to cup my face, pulling away, again staring into my eyes.
"We came too close, Antanasia ... The kiss must be enough between us. I will not be the one to damn you, no matter how much I desire it. I will not drag you to destruction, too."
"I don't understand ..." We were so close. . . .
"Please don't ever regret this, Antanasia," he implored me, and his eyes were the opposite of cool and detached. He seemed fevered, shaken, almost desperate, suddenly. "Don't be angry, when I am gone or changed. Please, just remember this for what it was, which was everything to me. To the man I am right now."
"You won't change, Lucius," I promised, grasping his wrists, not understanding. What we had just shared . . . surely the two of us, together, could seal pacts and stop wars and answer any challenge. We were vampire royalty. And we were together. "You're not going anywhere," I reassured him. "It's fine now. It will be fine."
"No, Antanasia. No, it is not fine. It will not be fine."
I had not noticed, until that moment, that my bedroom window had been pierced by a flashing red light, which spattered a crazy blood pattern against the walls.
"Lucius? What's happening?"
He didn't answer. But he was still holding me when Dad burst into the room.
"Lucius, the police are here," Dad said. He was strangely composed. "A girl claims to have been bitten by a vampire, and she's identified you."
"Lucius?" I stared up at him, desperate for an answer.
But Lucius just kissed me once more, lightly on the lips, and turned to my father. "It's best that I face this alone, Mr. Packwood," he said. "Please—let me deal with this without your help this time."
Dad hesitated, then stepped aside and allowed Lucius to go, capturing me in his arms as I tried to follow.
Chapter 55
"SHE'S SETTING LUCIUS up," I told my parents. "Faith swore she'd get back at him for breaking up with her. She made it all up."
They shot each other looks that said they were uncertain.
"Lucius broke up with Faith days ago," I added, pleading his case. "And I'm pretty sure it was because he was afraid he was going to bite her. He knew he was getting out of control, but he stopped himself."
Mom was clearing plates from my dismal party. "Jessica, Lucius has been going through something very difficult, struggling within himself. We can't be sure what happened."
"Nothing happened!"
"And was 'nothing' happening in your room?" Dad asked. "You are too involved with Lucius to be objective, Jessica."
“He's a Vladescu," Mom added, dumping plates in the sink. She seemed very upset. "He wants not to be, but perhaps he couldn't fight that side of himself. Perhaps it was even dangerous to allow him to live here. I'm not even sure we did the right thing anymore."
"You're not being fair. Just because his uncles are terrible doesn't mean Lucius is a monster! He didn't bite Faith. Please, let's go to the police station!"
My parents shared another uncertain look. Then Dad said, "Jessica, no matter how we feel, Lucius asked us to let him handle this alone. We are going to respect his wishes. And so are you."
"I'm eighteen now," I pointed out. "I don't need your permission to do anything."
"But you do need a car," Mom noted.
I hurried to the hook by the back door where my parents kept the keys. Gone. "Where are the keys?"
"This is for your own good, Jess," Dad said. "You've gotten in way too deep with Lucius. You need to step back."
"And it is our responsibility to protect you," Mom added. "We want to help Lucius, too, of course. But you are our first priority."
I stared at them, betrayed.
"He doesn't want us right now, Jessica. We've done all we can," Dad said.
The phone rang, and I snatched up the receiver. "Lucius?"
"No, it's Mindy."
"I can't talk now—"
"It's about Lucius," Mindy said. There was panic in her voice.
"What is it? What's going on?"
"I don't know if I should tell you."
"Just say it, Mindy. Please."
"They're out of control," she said. "They're talking about beating him up for what he did to Faith. Frank has them all worked up, with all that vampire stuff. They're crazy!"
My fingers clutched at the receiver. "What exactly did you hear?"
"Some of the guys . .. They're waiting for Lucius. They're going to take him out to Jake Zinn's barn and 'teach him a lesson.' " She paused. "I'm scared for him, Jess. I don't know what he did to you—"
"Nothing!"
"But I'm scared for him. They're talking about the blood on you, and the scratches on Faith, and how his leg healed so fast. . . and all that stuff they found on the website about Lu-cius's family, Jess." She paused. "Faith heard you call him a vampire, too. In the barn."
That day in the barn so long ago. Again I made things worse for Lucius. Me. . . I'm the dangerous one. . . .
"They keep talking about vampires and stakes," Mindy cried.
"Stakes?" The receiver nearly slipped from my grasp.
"Yes, Jess. They're taking stakes, like it's the Middle Ages or something! In
case he's really a vampire! They're crazy!"
Stakes. Out-of-control people. Mobs. My birth parents were destroyed that way. . . .
I struggled to remain calm. "Did they say when this is all happening?"
"Tonight. Later tonight. They're going to get Luc when he comes out of the police station . .. Everybody heard about him getting arrested ..."
Of course. The rumor mill was probably going berserk. "Thanks, Mindy."
"I... I know we haven't been friends lately . . . but this— this is crazy. I thought you should know."
Beth_Fantaskey-Jessicas guide to dating the dark side. Page 26
