by Caragh Bell
‘Is Sam home?’ His tone was serious.
‘No, she’s at school.’
‘Good.’
He followed her up the stairs, breathing in her familiar scent.
She paused at the door. ‘Are you okay? You look really angry.’
‘I’m good. Now, open the door.’
The flat was in its habitual mess. Empty breakfast bowls lay discarded on the table; dishes from the night before remained in the sink.
‘I wasn’t expecting visitors,’ she offered, embarrassed.
He cut her off. ‘Look, Lyd, what’s this I hear about a baby?’
She stopped dead. ‘Who the hell told you that?’
‘Doesn’t matter. What I want to know is would it have been my kid?’
She turned to face him slowly. They stared at each other.
‘Yes,’ she said slowly, after an eternity. ‘It would have been yours. The fact remains that it was a false alarm so I really don’t see why we’re having this conversation.’
‘I’ll tell you why we’re having this conversation. Look how close we came to the whole thing blowing up in our faces. If this isn’t a sign then nothing is. You should be with me. You are supposed to be with me.’
Her eyes flashed. ‘Why are you here? I was just getting back to normal. Why did you come back?’
‘I came back to finish school.’
‘And to berate me.’
‘What did you expect? I hear that you could have been pregnant, how is that supposed to make me feel?’
She started to gather the bowls on the table. ‘Just leave, Luca. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.’
‘Just answer me one thing. Had it been another result, what would you have done?’
She stared at him. ‘Honestly? I don’t know. I definitely do not see children in my life for a long time.’
‘Would you have told me?’
She paused a fraction too long. ‘Of course.’
‘Yeah, right. I would have been the dumb schmuck left in the dark. You probably would have passed the kid off as Dom’s, the poor bastard.’
She slapped him hard across the face. ‘Take that back!’
‘What, Lyd? Does that hit home?’
‘Shut up! How dare you come here and give me grief? Just get out, get out!’
He grabbed her waist and pulled her close. Yanking her head back he kissed her. She pushed him away with all her might, but he was too strong. Pinning her arms, he deepened his kiss, devouring her.
It felt so good to be in his arms. Damn her body for betraying her.
He released her abruptly, breathing heavily. ‘You can say all you want, but you can’t win. No matter what you say to yourself, you can’t deny what we got.’
Her cheeks were flushed and her breast heaved. ‘Just get out.’
He laughed sardonically. ‘Till we meet again.’
Suddenly the door opened and Samantha walked in.
‘What the hell is going on? I could hear shouting from the street .... oh! Luca, you’re here. I didn’t realise ...’
Lydia pulled herself together. ‘He was just leaving.’
Samantha nodded and took in the scene. He looked like thunder and she looked flushed.
‘Bye, you guys.’
Luca slammed the door.
‘I’m going to my room.’ Lydia stalked off.
Samantha dropped her bag in the corner. What the hell was going on? Why were they fighting? Why was he here?
Picking up a clean cup off the draining board, she started to make a cup of coffee.
Something didn’t add up. She had just interrupted something major. Why was Lydia so upset?
With a crash, she dropped her cup into the sink.
His T-shirt. How did she not see it before now?
Luca was wearing a bright yellow T-shirt.
She gasped.
No way. Bastien the French guy, my foot.
She pulled out her phone and dialled Colin’s number.
‘We need to talk.’
‘Then he slammed the door and she disappeared into her room.’
Colin shrugged. ‘So? Doesn’t mean anything.’
‘That’s what I thought until I noticed the T-shirt he was wearing.’
‘Do go on, Monsieur Poirot, I’m intrigued.’
‘It was bright yellow – a real obnoxious colour.’
Colin clapped his hands together in mock delight. ‘Well, that says it all. Well done!’
‘Oh, shut up and listen. I saw Lydia wearing that exact same top in our flat. I arrived home one day earlier than normal and thought that I heard voices. She arrived out in that T-shirt and nothing else, looking all sheepish.’
Colin started to look uncomfortable. ‘In your flat? Are you sure?’
‘Positive. I remember the awful colour.’
‘Then it has happened more than once.’ He shook his head. ‘She promised me it was a once-off.’
‘What?’ Samantha jumped to her feet. ‘You knew? You knew that they had been together?’
‘Just one time. In Austria. She swore that it was a drunken mistake.’
Samantha started to shake her head. ‘It was obviously much more than that. Jesus, what will Dom say?’
‘Dom will say nothing because he will never know.’ Colin was firm. ‘It was a silly affair, that’s all. Let’s never speak of it again. It’s over.’
‘It didn’t look over to me today.’
‘It is. I know Lydia. Dom is home in two days – there is no way she would continue with Luca when he’s around.’
‘So, when he’s across the Atlantic it’s acceptable?’
‘Don’t judge her. We need to be there for her.’
‘I’m angry with her, Col. She should know better. People we care about could get hurt. I mean, Luca is the polar opposite to Dom – what’s the attraction?’
Colin giggled. ‘Are you crazy? What’s the attraction? Are you blind?’
‘Yeah sure, he’s cute, I don’t deny that. But he’s such a womanizer. Totally not her type.’
‘Maybe that’s what she wanted: a change.’
‘Maybe. Anyway, I’m going to head back. Best not to talk of this again.’ Samantha zipped up her coat.
‘I agree,’ agreed Colin. ‘Don’t bring it up with her either. She needs to get back to normal.’
‘Imagine if she had been pregnant?’ Samantha looked worried. ‘Imagine the chaos?’
‘Don’t even think about it.’ Colin pecked her on the cheek. ‘Text you later.’
Chapter 42
Dominic searched the crowd at the Arrivals gate for Lydia.
There was no sign. Frowning, he stopped and pulled out his phone. She had emailed him to say that she would be there.
‘Dom!’
Her familiar voice carried over the noise of the assembled group of people.
Pocketing his phone, he eventually saw her, hidden behind a tall man with a sign saying ‘Mr. Goldberg’.
‘Lyd!’ He engulfed her in a huge hug. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’
She nestled into him. ‘Me, too. How was your flight?’
‘Long. It’s so good to see you.’
She closed her eyes and savoured the smell of him. It was so familiar and safe. Like her mother.
With a jolt, she pulled away. Her mother?
Hastily, she pushed the thought out of her mind. ‘Let’s go. I’m sure you’re hungry. Let’s get some breakfast.’
Hand in hand, they walked out into the sunshine.
‘So, how did it go?’
Dominic smiled broadly. ‘Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I feel so energised after the whole experience.’
‘Will you go back?’
‘Definitely. Seriously, Lyd, I can see myself living there – if you have no objection, that is.’
Living in New York.
Luca’s city.
His image filled her mind.
‘Maybe, someday.’ She smiled. ‘When do you have to
be back at work?’
‘Not for a week. Did you book a mini-break somewhere?’
She shook her head. ‘I thought we could decide together. Somewhere last minute. I really don’t mind.’
He stopped and pulled her close. ‘I missed you so much, you know.’
She blushed. ‘Me, too.’
It felt good to be around him again. She could almost forget the past few weeks.
Almost.
A mini-break would be the answer to everything. They could drink wine, talk, make love and relax in each other’s company without any interference.
She made a mental note to check lastminute.com when she got home. There could be good deals to Vienna or Rome or Paris.
She stopped short.
Not Paris. Never Paris. What was she thinking?
Lydia and Dominic arrived back at the flat just as Craig and Samantha were walking up the street.
‘Dom!’ Samantha beamed at him. ‘Welcome home!’ She hugged him and pecked his cheek.
Craig thumped his back. ‘Yeah, man, great to see you.’
‘It’s good to be home with my gorgeous girlfriend.’ Dominic kissed her temple.
Lydia said nothing. She couldn’t look at Samantha. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She opened the main door of the building and they all went inside and up to the flat.
‘I’m exhausted,’ Dominic yawned.
‘I’m sure you are after that flight,’ said Samantha. ‘Come on, Craig. I’m sure they have lots of catching up to do.’
Lydia felt sick. It all seemed so wrong. She felt like such a fraud.
‘No, no. Sit down! I’ll make some coffee.’ She jumped to her feet. ‘Talk to Dom there and I’ll fill the kettle.’
Dominic gave her a funny look. ‘Lyd, I am pretty tired,’ he said pointedly.
‘Just a quick cup of coffee.’ She smiled and ruffled his hair.
As she filled the kettle, she pondered on her behaviour. Why was she avoiding being alone with him? She should be dying to take off all his clothes. Why then did she recoil at the thought? Why did she feel numb? They were supposed to book a mini-break, for God’s sake. She needed to get a grip.
Samantha sidled up behind her, making her jump. ‘You okay?’
Lydia nodded brightly. ‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Mea culpa.’
‘Oh, shut up. It’s all fine. Really. Now, get the milk.’
She filled the cafetière and walked back to the table. Craig and Dominic were deep in conversation about the Six Nations.
‘So, we’re thinking of going out tomorrow night to celebrate your return.’ Samantha looked expectantly at Dominic. ‘Does that suit?’
He shrugged. ‘We’re supposed to be going away for a couple of days but she hasn’t booked anything yet.’
‘I will,’ said Lydia with a slight edge to her voice.
He smiled. ‘So we’ll be around tomorrow. I’d like to go out. What do you think, Lyd?’
‘Yeah, sure, that sounds great.’ She smiled brightly.
‘It’s settled then.’ Samantha clapped her hands together. ‘All of us together again, like old times.’
Dominic kissed her shoulder blade. ‘I’ve missed this,’ he murmured. ‘Your skin is so soft.’
Lydia stared out the window. She couldn’t bring herself to speak. Their union had been brief. She knew he was gearing up for seconds and she couldn’t bear the thought. It felt so wrong, all of it. She loved Dom – that wasn’t the issue. It just felt like she was screwing her best friend. There was no passion, no excitement. Lying there, making appropriate noises, was all she could manage.
Why did this have to happen? Why did she mess everything up?
‘What do you want to do this evening?’ His brown hair flopped over his eyes. ‘Go out for dinner? Go to the cinema? Stay in bed?’
She sat up abruptly. ‘Let’s go out. I’d love to go to that Mexican place near Paul Street.’
He kissed her nose. ‘Anything the lady wants.’
Lydia got to her feet. ‘I’m going to take a shower.’
‘Will I join you?’
He looked like a bronzed Greek god lying on her bed. A million girls would jump at the chance.
‘No, you’re all right. I’ll be back in a sec.’
Lydia started on tequila as soon as they arrived at the restaurant.
‘Another margarita, please,’ she told the waiter as he took their order.
‘Whoa, Lyd, what’s the panic?’ Dominic looked at her, concerned. ‘I’ve never seen you knock it back like this before.’
‘I’m just so happy you’re back. I want to celebrate.’
He didn’t look too sure.
She glanced around the packed restaurant. Crazy mariachi music blared, and the smell of lime and coriander drifted from the kitchen. The alcohol started to have a numbing effect. She certainly felt better, much better. Dominic started to tell her about his time in the hospital. She listened attentively, nodding at the right moments and sipping her drink at the same time.
By the time the starter came, she was slurring her words.
Dominic put down his nacho. ‘Are you all right, Lyd?’
‘I’m absolutely fine, doctor. Never better.’ She started to gyrate to the music. ‘This place rocks.’
‘You haven’t touched your tostada. Try and eat.’
She picked up her glass and gulped back its contents defiantly. ‘In a minute.’
He dropped his gaze first.
‘So how’s the thesis going?’
She scowled. Oh, why bring that up? She felt so guilty. She had received an email from her tutor, asking if she was available for a meeting as she had not submitted any work.
‘Fine, absolutely brilliant. Nearly finished.’
‘That’s great.’
The dinner limped on. By the time Dominic paid the bill, Lydia was green at the gills.
‘Take me home, Dom,’ she pleaded, pulling her coat around her.
He hailed a taxi, his face grim.
Ten minutes later, she was puking her guts up in the toilet.
Oh, why did she drink so much? Her head was spinning.
She knew why. To avoid facing the truth.
She woke with a splitting headache.
Her bed was empty beside her. On the pillow there was a note from Dom, saying that he had gone for a run.
Lydia groaned.
Why did she drink so much?
Her mouth felt furry and her stomach somersaulted every time she thought of the restaurant.
Pulling herself out of bed, she stumbled to the bathroom. She needed to brush her teeth – her breath tasted vile.
By the time Dominic came back, she was dressed and drinking tea at the kitchen table.
‘Are you feeling okay?’ he asked, pulling a carton of juice from the fridge.
She shook her head. ‘Not really.’
‘Why did you drink so much?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe I was excited about you coming back.’ She couldn’t quite meet his gaze.
He flopped down on the chair next to her and filled a glass with juice ‘It’s not like you, Lyd. Is there something up?’
She shrugged. ‘Nothing, really. I suppose I’m stressed about college.’
He raised an eyebrow.
‘I’m tired, Dom, that’s all. I had one too many margaritas and I regret it. Can we change the subject?’
He took a swig of juice. ‘If you like.’
There was a long silence.
‘Will you be able to go out clubbing with the others tonight?’
She groaned inwardly. ‘I forgot about that.’
‘Sam has it all planned. She’ll be upset if you don’t go.’
Lydia put her head in her hands. ‘I’ll try my best. Maybe if I go back to bed for the day, I’ll be able for it.’
Dominic put the juice back in the fridge. ‘You do that. I’m going for a shower.’
Whistling, he took off h
is T-shirt and walked into the bathroom.
Lydia scowled. His apparent good health and good mood was just rubbing her face in it. Oh, why did she drink so much?
Chapter 43
The music boomed in the club.
Somehow she had managed to dress up. Somehow she had dragged herself out. Somehow she was sipping her cocktail, trying to look interested in Colin’s chatter.
‘Anyone for a shot of tequila?’ Craig stood up.
Lydia’s stomach heaved. ‘No, Craig, thanks,’ she croaked. The thought of it was repulsive.
Colin looked at his watch impatiently. ‘Where the hell is Val? He was supposed to be here ages ago.’
Lydia stared into space. She wanted to be anywhere but in the club. The music was deafening and it was far too hot.
Dominic put a hand on her knee. ‘Are you surviving?’
She smiled lamely. ‘I’ll be fine.’
Samantha grabbed Craig’s hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.
Colin gestured to Lydia. ‘Want to dance?’
She shook her head furiously. ‘Not tonight, Col. I’m not feeling great.’
‘What’s up?’ His brown eyes were concerned.
Suddenly she wanted to tell him everything. How terrible she was feeling. How every time she looked at Dominic her heart constricted in shame. Colin would understand. He would support her.
But she couldn’t say anything. Certainly not here. And certainly not while Dom was still around.
With supreme effort, she plastered a smile on her face. ‘Drank too many margaritas last night. That’s all.’
The night mercifully drew to a close.
Lydia wrapped her coat around her shoulders. ‘Let’s get a cab straight away,’ she said to Dominic. ‘I need to sleep.’
They left the club and Colin tried to hail a passing taxi.
Samantha snuggled close to Craig. ‘That was such a laugh,’ she exclaimed. ‘So glad you’re here, Dom. We haven’t been out together since Austria.’
He smiled. ‘Yeah, it was great. I must try and get down more often.’
‘Oh, come on!’ Colin flapped his arms in vain. ‘That guy saw me, you know!’ he complained, as another taxi whizzed by.
