by Jordan Marie
I hear Bull’s voice and my body instantly stiffens. Bull makes me uncomfortable in ways I don’t totally understand. I turn and see him standing in the shadow of the old hotel. He’s leaning against the brick wall, wearing worn jeans, a faded red t-shirt and his Savage MC leather vest. He’s got a black skull cap on and it looks good on him. I’m not sure there’s much that could make him look bad though. The gold studs he wears in his ears sparkle as he walks to me.
“He’s not,” I say, as my eyes take him in. He stops in front of me and he overshadows everything, dominating. He’s wearing these dark sunglasses and the silly girl in me mourns over the fact I can’t see his eyes. Bull has the kind of eyes that sparkle with humor constantly, which is odd because he doesn’t talk that often.
“Bullshit. Lie to yourself if you want, Red, but not to me.”
“He’s not,” I insist. “Besides even if he was, Jacob hates me.”
“Funny thing about love and hate, they tend to get all mixed up.”
“If you had seen him a minute ago, you wouldn’t say that,” I explain, a little panicked at the way his eyes are pinned on me. I’m like a deer caught in the bright glare of headlights on a dark night. My heart even jumps in my chest.
“What’s your name anyway?” I ask knowing it’s pointless. Since I’ve been staying here, he has never given me his real name.
“Bull.”
“No, I mean like Jacob and Alex….”
“I’m not him, Red.”
“Him?”
“The one who folds to the promises on your lips. The name is Bull.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say honestly.
“I know; that’s what makes you so fucking tempting.”
“You’re a confusing man, Mr… Bull,” he busts out laughing and I’m drawn to the noise. It’s husky and dark and it sends tingles of awareness through my body, not quite like they used to be when Jacob was around, but honestly it is the first time I’ve felt anything close to it. Bull is dangerous. I’m drawn to him. If I hadn’t been in love with Jacob my entire life, he would have been really dangerous. Something makes me keep trying to get Bull to talk to me; maybe I just appreciate the fact that he was one of the first men to ever notice me as a woman. I wish Jacob would do that.
“Red, I’m kind of hoping Dance remains a fool just so I can sample what you got.”
“I don’t know what you…” I stutter, but I don’t get the sentence finished because his lips come down against mine. They’re warm and soft. I can taste a hint of coffee on them. I’m in shock. I never expected to be kissed, not by Bull and not here. My body is frozen, but slowly things begin to register. Like the feel of his hand sliding up my back and the heat of his touch, even through my jacket. The woodsy outdoor smell of him is nice, and I take a deep breath through my nose wanting more.
“Open your mouth, Red,” he mumbles against my lips. Would it surprise him to know that no man has ever kissed me before? I’m debating opening my mouth for him. Half of me really, really wants to and the other half fights against it. The other half wants to give all my firsts to Jacob. That’s stupid. I know it is. Jacob wants nothing to do with me and certainly doesn’t want my kisses. I have this amazing, good-looking, virile man wanting entry into my mouth and I’m thinking of another man. A man who hates me and can’t stand me, and yet I can’t stop wanting him. This would explain why I’m still a virgin at twenty.
My hands go to Bull’s biceps to steady myself and to pull away, when I hear Jacob’s voice.
“Don’t look now Alexander but looks like your Twinkie has already moved on to another brother.”
The contempt in Jacob’s voice is so thick it physically wounds me. My body jerks from the thinly disguised blow. Of course he thinks I’m a whore. Why wouldn’t he? I pull back and look up at Bull. His eyes are hidden behind his sunglasses. Can he tell how much Jacob’s words cut me? Does it show on my face?
Bull’s head moves down so his lips graze my ear and his finger slides along the side of my face. “Toughen up, Red. Anything good is worth fighting for.”
I swallow as I try to concentrate on his words. They’re good words. I would totally listen to them, if Jacob gave me anything to fight for. If we ever had anything between us, I would absolutely fight. We haven’t though and I’m pretty sure Bull is wrong.
He steps away and walks back towards the hotel where he had first been standing. I watch him for a minute, wishing he had stayed. At least when he was here I didn’t feel so vulnerable from all the hate pouring off of Jacob. I can feel it. He’s doing nothing to hide it. How can a man stand in front of you with hate radiating from every single inch of him and yet still look so heart-stopping gorgeous? The color in his tattoos, the deep brown of his eyes, the short dark hair I crave to touch, the muscular build that makes me weak in the knees…There is so much to want, so much to crave.
“What are you looking at, bitch? You want to tangle with me too? I’d rather chop my dick off than have it anywhere near you,” he growls and it hurts.
I look down at the ground so he won’t see my face. I’m afraid I can’t hold back the tears that want to fall. “Still, you seem to have Crush and Bull hot for you. I bet they’d tag team you if you asked nice enough.”
I try to tune out his words. I stare at the cracked pavement at my feet. My eyes follow a jagged line to where it disappears under my shoe. I wish I could disappear. When I look up I see that Bull has returned and punched Jacob in the stomach. He’s watching Jacob closely. Jacob is bent over rubbing his stomach and cursing.
“You’re a fucking asshole Dance, but keep shooting your poison. I’ll gladly take what you’re giving away,” Bull says over his shoulder as he grabs my hand and pulls me along with him.
“You’re riding with me, Red.”
I shuffle my feet and try to follow because he is tall as heck. It’s hard for me to keep up and for some reason Bull is intent on pulling me with him, so I stumble.
“Where the hell is she going?” Jacob yells.
“If you had your head out of your ass, you’d know,” Bull replies and I’m trying to decide which is more astounding. The fact that I’m in the same area with Jacob after all this time or the fact that Bull has said more words in the last twenty minutes than he probably has spoken all week.
He hops on his bike and I use my hands on his shoulder to brace myself as I get on behind him. I lay the side of my face against his back and wrap my arms around him tight. Bull pulls out and directs his bike towards where Alexander and Jacob are standing arguing. My eyes freeze on Jacob’s. It seems like forever, but I know it’s just mere seconds. It couldn’t have been any longer than that but it’s long enough that I have to close my eyes against the pain I see reflected back at me.
3
Dancer
I watch as Bull rides away with Carrie, it leaves me feeling unsettled. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t bother me to see Carrie on the back of Bull’s bike. After the shit she pulled two years ago… Fuck, I know that’s not fair, it wasn’t her fault. It was me. I made the decision to gut the motherfucker who tried to rape her. I did that and I shouldn’t hold her responsible. Hell, given the choice, I’d do it again. How screwed up is that?
She shouldn’t have been at the bar. She was under-age; she had no business being there that night. I knew she was chasing me around like a little lost puppy and while it was cute, I made it clear that nothing would ever happen between us. She was—hell she still is—just too damn young. Instead of taking my rejection like the adult she claimed to be, she went outside with that slimy motherfucker and ruined all our lives.
My head is a dull roar even after the shower. I slip my shades on and get on my girl, without looking at Crush. I rub my hand over my stubby hair that’s growing out.
My girl is a sleek black, Fatboy, Soft tail. She’s smooth and shines like wet pussy and rides low with twin pipes. She holds me close, her fat wheels grip the road better than any bike I’ve e
ver had. She’s weighted perfect, just a slight movement by me and she knows where to go. She purrs when we ride and growls when I’m stuck in traffic or a light.
She’s the only woman I need for sure and a fuck of a lot less headache than any bitch I’ve been mixed up with. Definitely less aggravation than that damn red-head who just ran off with Bull.
“I still don’t know why the fuck I have to go to the club. I told you pricks that I’m not doing this shit anymore.”
“Dragon wants you at the club and if I have to drag your fucking ass there, I’ll do it.”
“Like you could.”
“Don’t fuckin’ try me, Dance,” Crusher responds.
I ignore him and start my girl. I’ll answer Drag’s summons and that’s it. I’m tired and I’m not getting into this shit anymore. The club was a life I had. A life from when I was a different person. I am not that person anymore. I never will be again.
We pull into the club about twenty minutes later. I look around the parking area, but I don’t see Bull’s piece of shit Triumph anywhere. I write off the disappointment of him and Carrie not being here as stupidity—caused by my hangover. I follow Crusher inside, refusing to ask where Bull is. It’s not my business, but how fucked up is it that my club has brought in the woman who has caused me so much misery? She’s nothing to them.
“Hey, Dance! Good to see you man!” Frog calls out as I walk through the door. He’s talking to one of the newer members.
What was it Drag had said his name was? Fuck, not like I care anyway.
I nod my head in response and let my eyes adjust to the dim light of the room.
Dragon is in the back at his usual table. He has Nicole in his lap and he’s biting on her neck, whispering in her ear and he’s smiling. It’s weird to see my brother smiling. I’ve known Dragon a long ass time and up until this woman came into his life, I’m not sure I had ever seen him smile. I sure as fuck hadn’t heard him laughing before, like he is right now.
I’ve met Nicole a few times, she came with Dragon the day I got released and they took me out of hell (that’s the best way to describe prison. It is hell). She was okay I guess. I never really bothered to find out. Still, seeing my brother like this, I’d have to say she must have a gold snatch. That’s the only reason I can come up with as to why he would keep a ho’ around permanently.
“Yo,” I growl, letting Dragon know by the tone of my voice that I’m not happy with my summons.
Dragon looks up at me. His hand freezes on Nicole’s breast and even I will admit the large globe would make a man beg for more. It fills my brother’s hand and then some and the large nipple is dark through her white shirt. Oddly, I think of how Carrie’s are much smaller, but they’d be perfect in my hand…I feel my dick jerk in reaction.
“Dance, you look at my woman’s tit another minute and you and me got problems.”
“You’re the one playing with it for the world to enjoy,” I respond.
Shit if he doesn’t want other men to notice he needs to lock it up in his room, pious bastard.
“Mama, can you…”
“I’m gone, sweetheart. Six and Crush are taking me, Dani, and Lips to visit Carrie anyway,” she says. Her voice is soft and loving and it amazes me that someone like that could be so wrapped up in my hard ass brother.
She gets up to leave and Dragon stops her.
“Be safe, Mama. Make sure you do what Crush and Six tells you,” he orders, pulling her back to him. “Mine.”
When the kiss is finished I hear her whisper, “Forever.”
She turns and walks by me, giving me a slight nod. It is my brother though that draws my attention. He has the biggest fucking smile on his face I think I have ever seen.
He waits until Nicole gets to the bar and then calls out, “Hey, Mama?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Going to spank that ass later, don’t think I didn’t notice you’re wearing those damned boots.”
“I was counting on it, Dragon,” she laughs.
Crusher follows her out of the room, yelling back out over his shoulder, “Lucky Bastard.”
Dragon’s eyes follow his woman until she leaves the room and then the easy going look on his face disappears. He kicks the seat out at the table across from him.
“Sit.”
I rub my hand over my face. Fuck, this might be worse than I imagined. I take a seat though. There aren’t many men I’d follow orders from. Dragon is one, and probably the only one.
“Drag,” I say. My tone says I don’t give a damn, and part of me doesn’t. Still, Drag is a man I respect, a brother I love.
“You want to tell me why I haven’t seen your fucking face around here, Dance. I got to tell you, I’m not happy.”
“Drag, told you when you dropped me off, I’m done.”
“You still got our brand on your sorry ass?”
My hand automatically rubs the back of my shoulder, where the Savage MC tattoo is. It was forged through me, not by the ink, but by the blood and tears my brothers and I shared.
“That’s right, motherfucker. You’re part of us, so you want to tell me why you’re locking us out now, when we need each other?”
Fuck, he’s going where I’m not ready to go. So I throw up some other shit that’s bugging the hell out of me.
“What the fuck do you have Bull and Crush dragging that bitch around for?”
Dragon looks blank for a minute and then his face turns to stone. I’ve seen that look before and usually the person getting it, is about to die. I figure I’m at least safe from that, maybe.
“Watch your mouth. Red is family.”
“You can see how having my brothers claim the bitch that got me in this mess as family might piss me the fuck off, right?”
“Red didn’t do shit motherfucker. You got messy. You want to handle an asshole? You don’t go off, in a town we don’t own, with witnesses around. Dance, you’ve been around, you know how this shit works. You screwed the pooch here. That’s on you. I couldn’t get you out sooner and that shit? That’s on me. Way I see it, Red is the only one here free and clear.
Fuck. He’s right.
He’s not saying anything I don’t already know. It’s not something I want to acknowledge.
“She shouldn’t have…”
“Red was in love with you. For some fucking reason Nicole tells me the woman still is. I don’t get women and this crap, but I do fucking know it makes women do shit they shouldn’t,” Dragon growls, looking away from me to stare out the window. “Nearly got my woman dead. You get lucky enough to get that from a good woman you don’t mock that shit, Dance. You embrace it.”
“I think claiming a woman has made you soft,” I state the truth, ignoring the weird feeling his words send through me.
Love? Me? Fuck a duck.
“Fuck you,” Dragon barks back at me, but at least his face is friendlier.
“Carr…Princess is too young to know what love is, fuck I’m thirty-five and I don’t know what that shit is.”
“Way I figure, women have a better handle on this crap. Red’s just a few years younger than Nicole and I don’t doubt my woman one fucking bit. Now if we’re done with our Dr. Phil moment, we got shit to discuss, first being Red.”
I sit watching him. I’ve got nothing to say to that. I shouldn’t want to know. Anything and everything to do with this club and especially Carrie, has nothing to do with me. It doesn’t bother or affect me in the least. At least that’s what I tell myself. Still, here I am waiting for what he has to tell me.
Shit.
“Your mom asked us to pick up Carrie.”
“No fucking way.”
“Shut up and listen,” Dragon returns. I bite my tongue to keep my retort from coming through. I don’t know if I could take Dragon, we’re pretty evenly matched. I do know he’s my brother; I owe him everything. So, I shut the fuck up…for now.
“When you first…” Dragon pauses and I know he blames himself for everything
. It’s not his fault, but there is fuck-all I can say that he’d listen to and I don’t really want to talk about that shit anyway. “When you first got put in the can,” he continues, “Carrie came to see you. Do you remember?”
Fuck yeah, I did. I was pissed at the world, at her for causing this mess, at me for making the mistake, at the way I wanted to hold her and kill her at the same time…at everything. My head stays a fucked up mess. It’s much worse around Carrie. I am NOT telling Dragon that, so I nod my agreement.
“You sent her away, but after that I guess, things started happening.”
“Things?”
“Started small from what I understand. She’d get notes taunting her with things no one should know. There were a couple of break-ins. Her shit was tossed, notes left on her car, different kinds of shit.”
My jaw tightens and that uneasy feeling in my gut gets worse.
“And,” I prompt because I know there is more.
“There were accidents. At first it wasn’t recognized. Don’t know why, you would think even being fucking idiots, given the history of the case, that the cops would piece together what was going on. Some sick fuck definitely has it in for the girl.”
“What accidents?” I ask, feeling even more on edge.
“A bus she was riding had a blowout, food poisoning, equipment short circuited at the library where she worked. She was nearly electrocuted. Each time something bigger, something more obvious would happen, until the night of the wreck.”
“Wreck?”
“Yeah, some motherfucker ran her and her parents off the road. The car went off a mountain and down a cliff. Red was thrown out, escaped with a broken arm and a concussion. Her parents were trapped in the car. It caught on fire, she lost them both.”
“Fuck,” I said before I could stop it. Carrie came from money, and she never should have been friends with me or my little sister. Still, her parents were descent people. Hell, I don’t know if I’m a good judge, but they had been kind and they loved Carrie.
“Dance, Red’s been through the ringer. The last fucking thing she needs is your smart ass.”
