by Jordan Marie
“Freak. You keep close to Dani for me?”
Freak is mad, I see it all over his face, but he agrees. I think I’ve run out of time to come clean to my brothers. I look down at Dani and kiss her again, but quickly and with just a small taste of her mouth.
“I’ll be back Hellcat, stay safe.”
“Don’t get hurt, Zander. Please? I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you.”
“I’ll be fine. You just be waiting when I get back. I love you Melly.”
I thought she would kiss me again, she doesn’t she pulls away from me and turns toward Gunner and Freak. I know she’s blaming herself for this. It pisses me off. I can’t get into it right now though. I have to go with my brothers.
It’s late by the time we get back, and my ass is dragging. Drag and I managed to capture one of the motherfuckers, and he sang like a fucking canary. Which was good and bad. I had to tell Dragon I knew about Dani and Michael. The parts of what I already knew. To say my brother was unhappy was a freaking understatement. All I want is to crawl into bed, hold my woman, and grab a couple of hours sleep, before I face tomorrow. That’s the only plan I have. Until I open the door to Dani’s room and see she’s not there. We’ve been sleeping in her room almost every night, but maybe tonight she wanted to wait for me in mine. I take off to my room, and I start to feel fear when it is empty too, but that’s not what causes the feeling to bloom into a full blown panic. No, that would be the envelope on my pillow. The name Zander, written on the outside of it in Dani’s handwriting.
I sit down on the side of the bed, my body feeling like lead. My fucking hands shake when I rip it open and pull the two page folded note out.
Zander,
I figure, if you’re reading this, you already know I’m gone. I wanted to stay. Today at the beach, I actually thought about it. I can’t though, that’s a dream, and I definitely don’t live in a dream world.
I asked you not to contact Michael, because I know him in ways you never could understand. I’ve been married to him for over six years now as Melinda Marinetti. Though we only stayed together one year, Michael won’t ever willingly let me go. I only escaped the first time by changing my name and hiding. If he gets a hold of me again, he’ll kill me this time. I’m actually okay with that. If I was brave, perhaps I would actually beat him to the punch. I find I can’t though.
As odd as it sounds, I want to live. I want to take the memories of you and the love you’ve shown me and live. You made me truly feel like Dani, a woman who could handle life and anything thrown at her. I will always be Dani now, and that makes me happy. This way a part of me will always belong to you.
What you need to understand is, this is not your fault. This was set into motion before you even knew who I was, and I can’t let my mistakes, my past, hurt you in any way. I’m no longer a scared seventeen-year-old child. I’m an adult. It’s time I stop hiding and leaning on Ray and Nicole for help and live whatever life I have, for however long I have left.
I love you, Zander, and I know you’ll be upset by this. Please understand, I wanted to stay, and I really thought about it. Then today, when you called me Melly, I realized, I can’t. I’m not the woman for you. Memories of you will help me survive my past, but you have to be free to find the woman who will make you put your past behind—make you put Melly in the past where she belongs.
Gun told me about Melly, I know how it must haunt you, but everyone has a road to follow in this life. You can’t be responsible for all the wrong turns others take. It’s enough you made me grateful for my wrong turns, because I got to love you, if only for a little while.
Be happy, Cowboy.
Love,
Your Hellcat.
Melly…My mind goes back to when I told Dani goodbye.
“I’ll be fine. You just be waiting when I get back. I love you, Melly.”
Fuck! I called her Melly! Why? I don’t think of her as Melly. I never have. Melly was from a different time. Melly was a time when I was a boy trying to be a man. It was puppy love and nothing like what I feel for Dani. Was it because of the danger? Or because I knew Dani was thinking of leaving? I can’t be sure, and I’m not even sure it matters now. I caused her to leave. Tears sting my eyes as I bring her letter up to my face and breathe in the scent of her from the paper. When I think of my woman out there alone, with a maniac I set on her heels after her, my heart stops. When I imagine how she must have felt to be called by another woman’s name…
Fuck. I let the tears fall. There’s no shame in them. I did this. I caused this. Now I just have to figure out some fucking way to fix it all.
33
Michael
I sit back against the leather in my limo watching the small screen before me as Melinda comes out of the Savage Clubhouse. She’s got a travel bag over her shoulder and holding a jacket in one hand. I suppose she really does think she’s getting away from me. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid women are. Does she really think I’m about to let her get away?
I knew having those stupid hillbillies fire on her friends, would cause her to run. If there is one thing I can always count on with Melinda, it’s that she always sacrifices for the people she cares about. It’s how I got her to say I do, after all. She would have never agreed to it even after trapping her, if I hadn’t threatened her precious Nicole. I’ll get them both this time though. I’ve decided it’s time I play with Nicole’s life much like she has played with mine. We’ll see how she likes it. I never did like the bitch, but she’ll be fun to torture in front of Melinda.
I watch as Melinda gets into the ugliest car I’ve ever seen in my life. With all the money she stole from me, you would think the least she would do is drive something decent. That is her problem though, she is short-sighted. She never sees the bigger picture. To this day, she still believes her father was broke, and I saved him. She has no idea his money was what I needed to stay solvent. It’s also the reason Melinda must die in Kentucky. I am getting married soon and my new intended comes complete with political reach and bank accounts that will do quite nicely. It’s a good thing too, because the woman is so horribly homely. Of course, that’s good in one way. I can do anything I want with her and she’s just thankful.
I watch until Melinda pulls out of the compound, and then I turn off the screen. Donald had men splice into the camera feed at the compound so I can monitor things. Melinda, who apparently now prefers to be called Dani, is much too stupid to realize that Donald will be tailing her every move. Too bad time is short, if not, I would let her run for a day. It’d be so fun to let her think she got away, only to watch the hope drain from her eyes when she realizes she hasn’t.
I pick up a discarded manila folder Donald handed me earlier. In it are all the bios of the members of the Savage Brother’s MC, as well as their allies and women. I thumb through it till I find a picture of Melinda—now apparently known as Dani Smith. Not much in there other than her best friend Nicole Wentworth. She grew up in the small town of Blade, Kentucky apparently. Ironic since I shall kill her with a blade. She strips for a living and has a lousy credit rating. It’s such a far cry from the person she was born as, the person I married…I could almost applaud at how deep she went undercover. She’s wasted too much of my time though. I need to wrap this up, head back to New York, and pretend to be the happy, doting fiancé of one Miss Rebecca Barters, heir to Barters Industries and Holdings, which includes the billion-dollar coffee product shipped straight out of Columbia. I have plans for that business.
I pick up Melinda’s picture and frown. She really is quite beautiful. I must ruin that before I am finished with her too. I pick up a letter opener off the small console in front of my seat. I use it to stab the picture and pin it to the seat beside me. The sharp file stabs through the picture and coincidentally right between the eyes of Melinda’s likeness.
I pick up my cell with a cold smile, already anticipating my revenge.
“Donald, intercept my runaway wife before she can
leave the city. Bring her to the building we’ve purchased. I shall deal with her further from there.”
“Excellent. I shall see you soon. I’m about to board my plane.”
I hang up my cell, sticking it in my pocket and slide out of my limo, leaving Melinda’s picture behind me. This will be the last time I chase after that fucking bitch. In fact, this will be the last time anyone chases after her.
That thought cheers me as I board my private jet headed for some Podunk town in Kentucky.
34
Crusher
I’ve torn the place apart looking for Dani. She’s gone. My heart hurts, and I’m running around like a crazy man. I’ve asked everyone I can find if they’ve seen her. It’s driving me crazy. I know she’s not been real popular at the club, but Jesus Christ! We’ve just been fired at in our own territory! We’re on lockdown here. I’m pissed, no I’m beyond fucking pissed.
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know where she is?” I growl, as Bull delivers the news.
“Just that. I brought her home, she said she was tired and was going to lay down. So, I let her.”
“Jesus, you didn’t think watching over the women meant you needed to put guards at the fucking doors? Or hell, the gate itself?”
“You know what, Crush? If you got a problem, I guess you should take it up with Freak, since he’s the one Dragon put in charge of security and shit.”
“Fuck you. Dragon told you to take care of the women.”
“And I did, I brought them to the fucking compound, and that’s where the security comes into place. I’m fucking tired of you and the other brothers coming to me when shit hits the fan, like I have a damned thing to do with it. I haven’t been in control of security, or knowing what the fuck is going on here, since my accident.”
“You’re the fucking Enforcer here! You know to watch over the women!”
Bull stands up and leans in on me and gives me a hateful look, “I did what I fucking was told to do. I told the women to stay in until you guys got back. It’s not my fault you can’t keep the pussy you’re banging in line. It’s also not my fault if there weren’t guards posted out front, or at the door because, and this is the last fucking time I’m saying it, I wasn’t the one told to do that fucking shit. So, I’m sitting here watching a woman I care about and women who actually listen when I tell them do something. You got a problem, take it up with Dragon, or that fucking cunt you’re sticking your dick in every night, or better yet, why don’t you take it up with Freak, since you and him seem to be able to keep shit to yourselves! So, what if it puts the rest of us in danger!”
I don’t even think; I plow my fist hard into his face. The club has been going easy with Bull since his injury. Fuck that shit. I’ve had it. He falls back on the table, it turns on its side and dumps him on the floor. He lays there, wiping the blood off his lip, staring up at me. The club members around us were already pretty quiet watching us, but now you can hear a pin drop.
“Fuck you motherfucker, you lay off my woman. She’s mine, and by God, you will give her the respect she deserves in this fucking club.”
“You need to start thinking with your head, and I’m not talking about the one on your dick,” he responds, making no move to get up.
“And you need to stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself, and get your head out of your ass, and help your brothers. We fucking helped you when you needed us,” I growl and stomp off. Time to find Dragon.
“Does your woman know where Dani is?” I ask, right outside of Dragon’s door—my anger still at a head from dealing with Bull. Not to mention, every minute that Dani is gone my gut clenches. I am feeling like she’s playing into Michael’s hands, and I’m blaming myself.
“Nicole is sleeping fucker, step back into the main room and we’ll talk,” Dragon tells me, as he closes the door to his room.
“Fuck, that. I need to find Dani. Does your woman know where she is or not?”
“You need to step the fuck back, man. I told you Nicole is sleeping. She cried herself to sleep, and by God she’s going to rest. You feel me?”
I rake my hands through my hair, and follow Dragon back the way I just came from. “You don’t understand Drag; this bastard will hurt her.”
“You knew about this shit?”
“I knew she was running. Didn’t know what from, until all this shit went down. She left me a note, a fucking note!” That’s kind of a lie, but I need Dragon to help me here, the rest of the fucking shit…I’ll deal with after I get my woman back.
We walk past Bull who is standing now and gives me a fuck you look, as we pass.
“Something you want to tell me, brother?” Dragon asks, when we make it into his office. The other members, including Bull, join us and close the door.
“She’s mine, Dragon. I’ve got to find her and you can either help me, or get the fuck out of my way,” I tell him. I know I’m out of line, but with every minute that passes, I don’t give a damn.
We go back and forth, and I’m tired of it. When I point out to him that if it was Nicole instead of Dani involved he’d react differently. I guess he’s had enough. He grabs me and slams my back hard against the wall. I don’t fight him. I know I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked up for everyone involved. “You need to calm your ass and sit the fuck down.”
“Nicole is involved, motherfucker. Now you need to listen to me. Step. The. Fuck. Down. Do not cause me more shit, because all that will do is slow us down.”
“I will find her, Dragon.”
He goes on some more, but I ignore it. I need to plan out my next move, because it’s becoming apparent I’m on my own when it comes to protecting my woman. When Dragon brings up the guy we captured, I turn my attention back to him.
“Where’s our guest?”
“Frog’s sitting on him at the shed,” Hawk speaks up.
“Call Frog, tell him to let the son of a bitch go.”
No. Fucking. Way. He can’t let our only lead go! What the fuck is he thinking? “The fuck you will, that might be the only lead we have back to Dani!” I yell, before I can stop myself.
“Crush, man, I’m not telling your ass again,” Dragon says, and honestly, he keeps talking, but all I can hear is the incessant need to find Dani, in my head.
“We need to work him over and find out exactly what they know about Dani. We can get this Michael’s whereabouts from him that way. None of this cat and mouse shit,” I argue.
“Get the fuck out!” Drag orders. The room goes silent.
“Damn it, Drag! We have to…”
“You’re not hearing me motherfucker, I said, get the fuck out. I can’t deal with your shit right now. You are out of this, until you manage to get your head out of your ass, untie the knot in your balls, and listen to sense.”
“Drag!”
“Get out, motherfucker! Now.”
I look at my brother, and I want to literally rip him apart right now. Fine. I’m on my own. I prefer it that way. Fuck him. I guess when it’s my woman, it’s not important. I’ll save her my-own-damn-self. Fuck them all.
35
Dani
My head is a mess. When the man you love calls you by another woman’s name. That shit hurts. When it’s the name of his first love, it fucking hurts worse. Was he just with me to try and save me when he couldn’t save her? I can’t help but think that’s the case. It doesn’t matter in the big picture, because I know Michael is behind the shooting, and once that happened, it was all too clear that I couldn’t stay. Zander could have died trying to protect me, and Nicole and Carrie are both pregnant with their whole lives ahead of them. I can’t stay, and more than that, Zander needs to find a woman to love that he doesn’t have to save. He deserves it.
I caught Bull in the bathroom. I know what he does in there. I don’t think the others have caught on yet, but I’ve done it for a long ass time. He’s taking away the pain with pills. I hope he finds his way out of the hole. It’s a fucking dark place to be, and the urge ne
ver goes away. Like right now, I’m sitting in an old ratty-ass motel room on the Kentucky and Missouri border, trying to keep my head straight and figure out what the hell my next move is, when all I really want to do is self-medicate, and get lost in a bottle.
I should probably take the meds the doctor prescribed, but right now I’m afraid to. I can’t afford not to be alert. I want to call Nic or Ray, but I can’t, at least, not yet. I need to be far away before I even attempt it. I would love to call Zander. Just so I can hear his voice, even though I know I shouldn’t.
I decide I should at least get some food. It would be smarter to run through a drive through, but I think if I sit alone in this hotel room that the urge to call Zander will win, either that, or I’ll start drinking. So, I leave and search out an all-night diner. I find one just over the Missouri state line. It’s deserted except for a waitress and a cook, but it looks clean, and I haven’t had anything to eat today, so I go for it.
“What’ll it be?” The waitress asks. She’s actually wearing a pink uniform like something off of an old TV show, her tired red hair is pulled up on top of her head, and she has on a dark red apron. She’s holding an ordering pad, but no menu. I guess she figures I don’t need one.
“Coffee, and can I get a toasted turkey sandwich? On wheat?” I ask, because without a menu, I’m kind of flying in the dark here. It must have been okay because she nods and goes back into the kitchen. I look around for a bathroom and decide to go freshen up.