by Jordan Marie
Fuck it. I grab her by the back of the neck and push her over the small desk, with her ass facing me. Any other woman might have second thoughts, but not her. She helps me by sliding her pants down over her ass.
“This is going to be hard and fast,” I tell her, and that’s the only warning she gets. I undo my pants just enough to get my dick out.
“Just how I like it, baby,” she purrs.
I fish around in my pocket for a condom and quickly glove up. Then, I lean over her, looking at the small shelf. I push shit out of the way, ignoring how it falls to the ground. I grab a large white bottle with purple writing that says lubricating jelly.
“What’s this shit for?” I ask squeezing the cold gel out in my hand.
“We use it for probes and things like ultrasounds,” she says gasping because her hand is already working her clit.
I use my free hand to slide the gel all over my latex covered cock. If I were a better fucking man, I’d make sure that ass had lube. I’m not. I haven’t been a good fucking man for a while. No one has noticed and I’m fast approaching the point where I don’t give a fuck.
Once my cock is covered enough, I grab her hips and slap her fucking ass hard. She gasps.
“Well get ready to be probed by my cock then.”
She laughs and turns to the side watching me. She moves her hands over her breasts and squeezes them until the skin goes white.
I push her back around to the position I need. “Pull these fucking ass cheeks apart if you want my dick, you’re going to take it up the ass like the dirty little slut you are,” I demand.
She does as I order and her hips are bucking back against me, eager for the reaming I’m about to give her. When she pulls those cheeks apart, exposing the pretty pink rosette of her ass, I rub the head of my dick over it a few times, watching at how the clear lube, slickens it up so it’s nice and wet, and waiting for me. I position my hand over her mouth. ’Lissa is a screamer and while normally I dig that shit, I’m not about to be discovered in a supply closet, with my pants down, and pills in my pocket.
“Bite down on my hand to keep quiet, and we’ll get this ride done.”
As romance goes, it’s shit, but this isn’t about hearts and flowers. I plunge into her ass hard, her teeth bite into my hand, and I growl at the flash of pain. I fuck her harder in retaliation. I’m pounding her hard. Hell, my balls spank against her pussy with each thrust, and she’s so wet I can feel it, even with the brief contact. Her ass is so fucking tight she’s strangling my cock. I push my hand down on her back, flattening her against the desk and causing her ass to thrust out even more. That slight movement causes those tight anal walls to flutter around my cock, and I know I’m about to fucking blow.
“If you want to come with me like a good little whore, you better start fingering that pussy, ’Lissa.”
She groans against my hand, but wastes no time in doing as instructed. I keep pounding her ass, until I feel the heat run through my balls and feel them tighten, as my cum begins to gather. I slide out of her ass, whip the condom off and finish by jerking my load on her back and watching it run down her ass.
“Now you can smell like a dirty little slut who needs a spanking the rest of the day. I bet those doctors like working next to you smelling my jiz all over you,” I tell her, taking my hand away. I wince. Damn, she made me bleed. I turn to the small sink in the corner, I take one of the tough paper towels and roughly clean off my cock and throw it on the floor. Then I wash off my hands.
’Lissa comes up behind me and runs her hands over my bare ass. I jerk away enough to pull up my pants. “No more, I need to get out and be with my brother.”
“Yeah, if they’re still out there,” she says, cleaning herself in the sink as I turn away.
“Why, what do you mean?”
“She coded before I even met you here. They were working to try and bring her back.”
“You didn’t think to tell me?” I growl, opening the pill bottle and swallowing two down.
“I didn’t figure you cared. You said you hated her the other night at the club, remember? Besides, I know you wanted those pills, that is more important to you.” she shrugs.
I freeze. Fuck. I want to argue, but I can’t. She’s completely right. I would have left to get the pills regardless if I had known or not.
“Later, ’Lissa.”
“Party this weekend at the club, right?” she asks, and I grunt. “Great I’ll see you then!” I guess she takes my grunt as agreement.
I go outside walking in the direction I left my brothers. As I take a few more steps, I hear an announcement over the intercom.
“Code Blue emergency trauma. Code Blue.”
Fuck.
40
Crusher
I slam my fist into the wall, because I have nothing else to hit. They took her away from me almost an hour ago. They wheeled her through the metal doors on a gurney and wouldn’t let me stay by her side. She looked so pale, her skin almost having a blue tint. I spent the first thirty minutes answering the questions the doctors asked, talking to the police, calling in markers all over the fucking county to keep this shit quiet, and locking it all down. The last twenty minutes, I’ve been pacing back and forth waiting for someone, anyone to tell me what’s going on with my fucking woman.
Bull showed up with a few of the brothers, but honestly, I wish they hadn’t. There was an explosion at the church. Hell, I had even forgotten that Dragon was getting married today. I lost him today, and Frog, and the weight of that is so heavy on my shoulders right now, I don’t even have words. I should have tried to get a hold of him sooner… I should have kept trying. I should have told him I had a lead on Dani. Would he have postponed the wedding to save Dani? I got two of my brothers killed. The shame and grief of that suffocates me. The hardest part though is the guilt of knowing that if I could go back and change it? I wouldn’t. I couldn’t risk delaying another minute to get to Dani. Fuck! As it is, it might be too late.
“Any news, man?” Bull asks. I didn’t even notice he was behind me. I’m rubbing my hand from pounding the cement wall and trying not to think about life without my woman. I wasn’t lying. It may take me a little bit to kill Michael, but once that’s done, I will join her.
“None,” I answer, my voice full of frustration.
“Shit.”
“Pretty much. What happened to your hand?” I ask him when I notice a thin half-ring of blood on the skin between the thumb and index finger.
He looks down at his hand, staring at it before shrugging and stuffing it into his pants pocket.
“Who knows, at least I’m not pounding walls in with…”
“Mr. Dawson?” The nurse asks from behind me. I jerk around and walk straight to her.
“Dani?”
“Your wife is hanging on, sir. She’s being prepped for emergency surgery right now, her spleen is ruptured, and has been for at least a couple days now. We wanted to wait until she was stable. She coded once, but seems to be holding on now. Her injuries are extensive, but right now the spleen is first and foremost on our list.”
“Can I…I need to see her before she goes into surgery.”
“Sir, that’s really not encouraged and she’s unconscious right now. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll make sure…”
“I need to see my wife,” I demand again, interrupting her.
She frowns at me, and then nods her head. “I’ll talk to the doctor, as soon as he gives the ok, you can see her.”
“Thank you,” I say, and I mean it. I think if I have to go any longer without seeing Dani’s face and reassuring myself that she was in fact still alive, they’d be sending the men in white coats down here to haul me away.
She leaves and my pacing starts again. In just a minute, she comes back and leads me through a small corridor into a completely white and metal room. There are machines beeping. Hellcat is hooked up to wires and monitors; she looks so frail…so lifeless. I go to her side. They’ve se
t her arm and her fingers are wrapped too. The wound on her chest has been stitched and she’s been cleaned, honestly though, her face is still so swollen that it’s hard for me to believe this is my woman. Then I notice something that is horrific to me, even over everything else. Her hair has been cut…no not cut…sheered.
Maybe the nurse noticed my face, I don’t know, but she answers the unspoken question.
“Sorry sir, it was best to expedite and try to get her clean for surgery. She had some rather large lacerations on the side and back of her head. It was the easiest solution. It will grow back.”
My hand reaches out to touch the baby blue cap like thing they have over her head.
“I love you, Hellcat. You fight and hold on for me, and I’ll be here. I’ll be here waiting for you.”
The words seem hollow and empty. I should have something important to say, something that will make her fight her way back to me. I can’t think of one damn thing. As they wheel her out of the room, it feels like I have no reason left to breathe. I know it’s a feeling I will become achingly familiar with if Dani doesn’t survive.
“I’m here waiting for you, Hellcat. I’m right here. I’ll wait on you forever.”
As she’s taken from my sight, I realize that I am completely telling the truth. I’ll wait for her for the rest of my days and then some.
I start praying. I don’t know if it will help, but it sure can’t hurt.
41
Dani
I’m so tired. It feels like my eyes have cement blocks on them they’re so heavy. It’s all I can do to open them. When I look around and see the hospital room, terror instantly hits me. I look around frantically, knowing Michael will be there. That’s when I see him…Zander. He’s in a large recliner beside my bed. His hair is tossed every which way on his head, his face looks haggard, and there’s beard growth on his face that he’s never had before. He’s wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. He doesn’t even have on his cut. His feet are kicked out on a stool. He’s snoring and it makes me want to smile, but that would require too much movement, and the pain right now is way too intense. I look over at the door, Freak is standing there, arms folded, and looking every inch the bad boy biker he is. I lick my lips and try to find my voice. It hurts to breathe, so I’m figuring talking is going to be worse.
“Freak…” The sound is hoarse, dry, and squeaky all rolled in together.
He immediately looks over at me, “Hey, babe.”
“What are you doing?” I ask, wincing at the effort it takes to make a whole sentence.
“Standing guard so Crush will sleep before he keels over.”
My eyes go automatically back to Zander and my heart flutters with a warmth inside of me.
“Standing guard?” I ask.
“That bastard is still out there. We protect family babe, always.”
My breath lodges in my throat, and I’m not sure what it is, but it warms me from the inside out. Family?
“I’ll let you talk alone with Crush and relieve Hawk, he’s out front.”
“Three of you?”
“Six, we’ve got Torch and some of Skull’s crew watching the entrances to the hospital. That bastard won’t get a hold of you again.” He closes the door as he leaves, and I think about all that he just said. It’s a lot to take in.
“Stop it right now, Hellcat.”
I look up to find Zander pulled up close to the bed, his elbows are on the mattress and he’s staring intently at me. His eyes look so tired, and yet, they glow with emotion.
“Hi…”
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, leaning up to kiss my forehead. Even that slight touch hurts, but I ignore it and just breathe in his scent.
“How long have I been out?”
“Not long honey, you’re a survivor. You fought your way back hard, and you need to stop what you’re doing.”
“Stop?” I ask, feeling his hand slide along the side of my face.
“Worrying about getting others involved. We got this Hellcat, and it’s not just you involved now. The club has a score to settle with Michael, and it’s the kind that only his head on a fucking platter will solve.”
“Score?” I ask, confused. I know Freak said I was family, but this seems…
“Dragon, honey. Michael had his vehicle rigged to blow. He and Frog didn’t survive,” Crusher tells me, and I don’t understand…there’s so much sadness in his expression, and then it hits me that Dragon and Frog…they…oh God, they died. I gasp and suck in a breath, because I feel like I’m drowning in the pain that causes it, along with the pain of knowing Michael killed someone else I cared about, punches me hard in the stomach, causing tears to run from my eyes. Not Dragon! He and Nicole are supposed to be married. They have a baby on the way, and Frog…he was so young, and I don’t think he even got a taste of life…or love. My heart is hammering against my chest, and I can’t seem to recover enough to catch my breath.
“Nic…Zander, Nic? The baby?” I ask, not able to form a complete sentence or thought. My mind is going in a million different directions.
“They’re okay, sweetheart. Nic’s having a hard time adjusting, but she’ll be okay.”
“I…oh God Zander, this is all my fault. This was why I left. I can’t let more people die for me.”
“Stop it, Hellcat. That fucker is a mean son of a bitch who has needed to be killed from the day he drew his first breath. You can’t take his actions on your shoulders. We’ll handle him. You just need to concentrate on getting better.”
Logically, I understand his words. I just can’t bring myself to feel blameless. The bodies in my past keep piling up, and for no other reason than they wanted to help or protect me. When is it going to end? My hand goes up to my chest. I don’t feel anything by my heart, so I move it up till I find it, way too high to hit the heart and not even close to where it needed to be. Michael is right. I am pathetic.
“That one scared us the most. It was deep. You lost a lot of blood from it. Its good I found you when I did,” he says, and my hand freezes on the rough skin.
“You shouldn’t have saved me, Zander.”
He doesn’t respond, and I’m too lost in my thoughts to realize that he’s upset. I close my eyes as the tears fall. Poor Nic.
“Look at me, Hellcat.”
I can’t bring myself to, even when he uses the command in his voice that I normally wouldn’t argue with.
“Hellcat, now.”
“I did it,” I whisper to him softly, because I’m ashamed. I don’t really want him to hear me. I’m ashamed that I was weak. I’m ashamed I didn’t manage to do it. I’m ashamed for being in this situation. I’m sick with regret that me living took the life of two men…two really good men…two men who were loved and had a life of happiness ahead of them.
“You didn’t do shit, Hellcat. It was that fucker, Mich….”
“I stabbed myself, Zander. I wanted to die. I wanted to take that from him. I couldn’t even manage to do that. I’m weak and my weakness…killed…” I can’t even finish the thought. I killed Dragon… “You should have let me die. It would have been better if you did.”
Zander gently pulls my face towards him. He’s leaning over top of me, and his eyes are full of emotion.
“You need to shut that fucking shit up right now, Hellcat. You need to listen to me. You are the strongest woman I have ever met in my life. The shit you must have lived through, the shit you just lived through? That would destroy someone weak. There wouldn’t be anything but pieces left of them. You are fucking amazing, and if I have to tell you that every day for the rest of our lives together, I will. So, just cut that shit out about being weak, and how it would have been better if you were dead. Hand to God, Hellcat, if I were in a world where you weren’t breathing, I’d follow you wherever the fuck you went, because you’re it. You’re it for me.”
“Zander, please just stop. We both know the real reason you even look my way, and I’m too tired to pretend otherwise.”
&
nbsp; Zander sighs and sits back down holding my hand. I look down at our joined hands and find another reminder as to why I’m not good enough for him. My hand is bandaged up, but even in the bandages you see that I no longer have a pinky finger. It’s one more thing that Michael has taken from me, and one more thing that Zander shouldn’t have to worry about. He needs a whole woman, one who can give him babies, and be there for him in ways I’m too broken to manage.
“Enlighten me, Hellcat. Go ahead and tell me what the fuck is the real reason I need you.”
“You couldn’t save Melly, so you want to try and save me. It’s okay, I get it, and I could even live with being her substitute, but you deserve better. Somewhere you’ll find a…”
“A woman who drives me completely fucking crazy,” he growls. I look up at him then, he’s angry. “What does it take to make you shut your damned pie-hole and listen to me?”
“Zander…”
“Don’t you Zander me, it’s time you listen to me, Hellcat and you better fucking listen. I watched my mom get shit on and be my old man’s punching bag for years. I couldn’t save her and that sucked, but I was a damn kid. Melly was a beautiful, sweet, innocent girl that the world slowly destroyed. I wanted to save her, she wouldn’t let me, and it was because we were both still kids. I would have loved her. I would have taken care of her and been happy. You’re right. You’re abso-fucking-lutely right.”
“Zander, I don’t want to hear about…”
“You, Dani—Melinda, or whoever the fuck you are…”
“Dani,” I growl, because I hate Melinda, I never want to be Melinda.
“You, do not make me happy—not even a little bit.”
His words hurt me, and I feel like he just slapped me across the face.
“You make me screaming mad, confused, weak, aggravated, crazy, and horny as fucking hell…”
“Listen…”
“And completely fucking whole, for the first time in my life.”
