by Jordan Marie
“Do you want me?”
“Well, of course, but…”
“Then we take each day together. No promises, no pressure.” It kills me, but I understand. She looks sad, but doesn’t argue. I start to say more when there’s a knock on the door, I let it go and get up to answer the door.
When Bull, Dragon, and Dancer are all at the door, I know the time has come.
“We need to talk,” Drag says, looking around me at Dani lying in the bed.
“Yeah, okay. Can I say goodbye to my woman first?” I ask quietly, because I don’t want Dani to know what’s going on exactly.
Dragon nods, and I close the door, and walk back to the bed.
“Hellcat, I got some club business going on. I’ll try and hurry back. You can text me though, okay?”
“Is everything okay?”
“It’s perfect, and when I get back, we’re Tennessee bound… sound good?”
“If you’re sure…” she says hesitantly, and I think she sees that I’m holding stuff back, but she nods. I give her a kiss. It’s not as passionate as I want, but still sliding my tongue inside to taste her, soothes me. I’ll handle this and get back to my woman soon.
I close the door behind me and look at my brothers.
“You called me out,” Dragon says, and his face is remote, but I think I see a flicker of something there that lets me know my brother hates this fucking shit as much as I do.
“I did,” I can’t deny it, and I wouldn’t.
“It can’t go unanswered. Out back in the yard, meet me in ten. I win, you get the cooler for a couple days while I arrange the vote. You win, you get the President patch.”
Fuck, and I say fuck for two reasons. I told Dani to text me, and if I get the cooler, I’m not going to have a cell phone and even if I do, there’s no signal. Secondly, I may strike at Dragon because I’m pissed at the way he did stuff, but I’m the one who fucked up here, so I’m not gonna even try to win. Dragon is President of this club, and even if I don’t like how he did things with Michael, it was brilliant, proving he is a leader. I’m not. I don’t even want to be.
“See you in ten,” I say resignedly, because fuck, this is going to hurt.
45
Dani
“How are you feeling?” I look up to see Nicole standing at the door.
I was hoping it was Zander. I haven’t heard from him in two days. I wanted to ask the others, but they don’t really talk to me, and I don’t want to make myself look stupid by asking for a man who might not want me anymore. He’s not even answered my texts.
“Bored,” I answer, turning my attention back to Nicole as she comes in and closes the door. “How’s Dom?”
“He’s good, really good. I was hoping we could talk for a little bit, if you’re not too tired.”
Things are stilted between me and Nicole now. She held me responsible for Dragon’s death and I understand. I hold myself responsible too. I want to fix it, but I don’t really know how. I’m hoping time manages to do it.
“Nah, I’m bored out of my mind. I’m thinking about going outside and walking a little bit. I need to feel the sunshine on my face.”
“Zander wouldn’t like you overdoing it. You’ve healed a lot, but you were in bad shape.”
“Yeah well, I haven’t heard from Zander, so I’m not sure that matters now.”
“I uh…You don’t know?” she asks, her voice sounding surprised.
“Zander is under lockdown by the club. They’re having a vote today to decide on kicking him out of the club,” she answers.
“But…he and Dragon are like brothers…that doesn’t make any sense.”
“He called Dragon out, and I guess they had to go all he-man over it. There’s protocol and rules that can’t be broken.” She says that last part imitating Dragon’s voice, and I could almost laugh, if I wasn’t so worried.
“Where is Zander?”
“How the fuck do I know? Some place called the cooler. They’re getting ready for church now though, so I imagine he’ll be there with the rest of the morons,” she answers sounding as frustrated as I’m feeling.
“I need to go there,” I tell her, already heading towards the door.
“Women aren’t allowed in church, Dani.”
“If it was Dragon being voted on, would you just sit by and wait?”
“Fuck, we’re going to church, aren’t we? If my ass gets paddled, and I can’t sit down next week, I’m coming after you bitch,” she grumbles, but when I look up she’s smiling.
“I love you Nic, I know I’m a fuck-up, and I’m trying to get better, but I love you,” I tell her, because I need her to know that.
“I got you, girl. I’m sorry too, I’ve been a bitch to you since the bomb and everything else. I shouldn’t have been. We made decisions together and you had valid reasons for trying to keep the club out of it. It’ll work out.”
Something clicks inside at her words.
“Badass Bitches for life,” I smile, repeating a forgotten motto from our school days.
“Ride or die even,” she adds and we hug. Then she lets me lean on her as we walk to our first and probably last ever, church meeting.
We get into the church room quietly. It seems too easy and when Nicole winks at me, I’m pretty sure she somehow cleared it with Hawk or one of the others first.
“Do you have nothing to say for yourself?” Dragon is asking Zander.
“Bastard had my old lady, I handled shit that needed to be done. I got Dani back, and I’d do it a fucking hundred times over. If that gets me booted from the club then what-the-fuck-ever,” Zander answers, and my heart stutters at what he just put out there in front of all of his brothers. Brothers who admittedly have warmed towards me, but for the most part view me as an outsider.
“You defied direct orders, and put the club in jeopardy. You put a woman before your brothers, and you had the fucking balls to call me out in front of others. I should strip you of club colors right here and close the fucking vote. The end.”
“She’s not a woman, she is my old lady,” he says once again, telling the world it’s me he chooses. Me. Even more than that…he sounds…proud. Do I make Zander proud? Despite my past? Despite the things Michael did to me?
“She hasn’t agreed to that shit, so that makes her a woman,” Dragon answers, and I feel ashamed, because I think back to the last conversation that Zander and I had. I should have just told him right then that he was it for me.
“Bullshit. I claim her. My woman needed me. I did nothing more or nothing less than you would’ve done,” Zander responds, and I know I can’t handle anymore. I’m his woman and it’s time I stop being afraid of what that means. If he can put me before everything and be proud of that, then I need to work harder to be the woman he deserves.
“He’s right,” I say, and I wish my voice sounded stronger. I have trouble being around crowds and a room full of angry men isn’t exactly fun times for me.
“What’s that, Hellcat?” Zander asks. He gets up, comes to me, his voice full of emotion, and love is shining in his eyes. Love…for me…It warms me. The emptiness and darkness I’ve been feeling…part of it heals with that look. Zander loves me. I’m not a substitute. I’m his.
The reality of that hits me and I stumble, but I catch myself. The last thing I want to do is fall and ruin this. I hold steady and look my man in the eyes. My man.
“I admit that I’m yours. I was yours then. I…I…” The enormity of what I’m doing here hits me. I’m giving myself to another man. I’m doing it with…joy. I look around at all the men staring at me, and I can’t tell what they’re thinking. Do they find me lacking? Do they think I’m not good enough for their brother?
“Say it, Hellcat. Say it,” Zander says, and the emotion in his voice is so thick, I push forward again.
“I’m yours Zander and I definitely claim you as mine.”
Zander kisses me on the forehead and wraps his arms around me. I hear his intake of breath an
d then he whispers to me, “That’s my angel.”
I can’t stop the tears that fall. I don’t even try. I’m finally in the arms of the man I was meant for all along. I’m where I belong…where I’ve always belonged.
“Go on back to our room, I’ll check on you when I’m done,” Zander tells me, and I don’t want to leave him alone to face this vote. I want to be here for him.
“But…,”
“I’m proud of you Hellcat, don’t worry. I’ll do what I need to do, and then I’ll come to you.”
I try to give him a smile and turn to leave. I’m kind of ashamed of the mess I’ve caused him. He deserves better.
“Hellcat? My woman doesn’t look down. Remember?” I stiffen my back and smile. He’s proud of me. I’m his.
“I won’t forget,” and I’m talking about more than just looking down.
“That’s my girl.”
“Just get your shit done, Zander, and quit busting my ass.”
46
Crusher
It’s been a month. Dani and I have been in Tennessee with Diesel’s crew and he’s urging me to stay on, as his second in command. I’m pretty sure I’m going to. I love Drag and the boys, but honestly, I need a fucking change. My woman fits in here. She’s happy. The other old ladies have welcomed her completely. There’s only one dark spot. Dani hasn’t given herself to me. She’s healed now. Still has some problems and pain, but for the most part she’s healed. I’ve done everything, but right out ask. I’ve tried to be respectful, but motherfucker, my balls are going blue here.
She’s bent over our bed, making it and smoothing out wrinkles. She’s got on some cute little hot-ass shorts and a red t-shirt that says badass bitch on it. My eyes are glued to the way the fringe on her shorts plays and caresses the mound of her ass cheek, almost letting me see the curve, and my patience snaps.
“Are you ever going to let me fuck you again?”
She straightens slowly and turns to me. Her hair has grown back out some, it’s now almost to the top of her neck. The bruises have left her face and there’s nothing but one very small scar under her chin. She still wears that damn dark red lip stick that instantly makes my cock hard. Under the thin strap of her top you can see her new tattoo. She thought the scar where she tried to take her own life was ugly. I thought it was beautiful. I had her get a tattoo over it and she agreed; she even allowed me to pick what I wanted. I think she thought I would choose my name. Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend too. Still, I wanted the one word that summed up what that scar was all about. So, in flowing letters covered in barb wire and roses the word Courage brands my woman. That’s my woman. That’s my woman to a fucking T…
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t stutter Hellcat, I asked if you’re ever going to let me fuck you again.”
“Zander, I’ve been…I mean… You want to have sex?” she asks finally, and Jesus, what kind of question is that to ask a man?
“Are you fucking kidding me? Junior is slowly dying and withering away, Hellcat. I’m dying to get back inside you.”
“I’m scarred up pretty bad, Zander.”
“You’re fucking gorgeous.”
“I…Shit, Zander you might not…I mean, I might not…”
“Strip, Dani.”
“Zander…”
I walk to her then. She’s nervous. Motherfucker! How could I have been so stupid? I turn her so her back is to me and then pull her shirt over her head. I don’t give her time to question anything. I unlatch her bra and throw it on the ground with her shirt. I pull her back against me. My arm sliding across her warm breasts, as I kiss the side of her neck.
“Zander…I’m scared.”
“I got you,” I answer, sliding my other hand around to undo her shorts.
“I’m lost,” she says. “I can’t even find myself,” but even as she says it, her lips are turning to mine, and her hand comes up to pull my head down to her.
I don’t let her pull me in until my eyes find hers.
“Then hold on Hellcat, because I got you and I’m not letting you go. Believe in that,” I tell her.
I see a smile slide onto her lips and that’s when I claim them. I drink in her taste like the man I am. A man who has been starving for over a fucking month for his woman. I push her shorts and underwear down to her knees, before I even break the kiss.
“This is going to go fast, Hellcat,” I tell her, and I’m mourning it. It’s her first time making love since the attack. A better man would be slow and soft with her. He would make her see how fucking beautiful she is. I promise I’ll give her that soon, I just think it’s beyond me at this point.
“Take me…take me just like this…”
Now, I’m not a foolish man that would ever turn down a plea like that, but something in her tone makes me stop and realize I was worried about going too fast for a reason. I can’t take her like this. I need her to look in my eyes when I love her. I need her to see the truth, that to me, she is the most beautiful person on the face of the Earth.
For that reason and that reason alone, I pull back.
“Step out of your clothes Hellcat and get on the bed,” I order.
“Zander…”
“Do it now, Dani. It’s time I show you the fucking man you’ve tied yourself too.”
“Jesus, we’ve been together for a while now. I think I know,” she grumbles, but she does as I order.
I take my clothes off, without saying anything else. Her eyes never leave me though, and the hunger on her face is all I need to know that I’m doing the right thing.
“Do you want my cock?
“God, yes.”
I stroke myself watching her closely. She’s lying on the bed naked, and motherfucker, a weaker man would come right then.
“Spread your legs, Dani. Let me see my pussy.”
She swallows nervously but does as I tell her to. She’s got a neatly trimmed pussy now, letting that soft brown hair cover her mound. The sight of it fucking turns me on.
“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are, Dani?”
“Zander…”
“You’re every fucking wet dream I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Zander…”
“Except for one thing…”
She freezes, looking up at me. Her hand automatically goes to her stomach, and I shake my head. I know it worries her. I see how she looks at me when she’s around Diesel’s baby boy, Ryan.
“I’m a selfish son of a bitch, Hellcat. I don’t want to share your fucking body with anyone—not even our child. We can adopt. You’d be a wonderful mother, and I’d be proud to have kids with you, but that fucking body of yours is mine.”
She tilts her head to the side and looks at me, like she’s having trouble believing me. “You want to adopt a child…with me?”
“In a fucking heartbeat. What part of, I’m in this forever, are you not grasping, Hellcat?”
“I love you,” she whispers, and those long thick eyelashes of hers are wet with tears that want to fall.
“I love you.” I answer with a smile. “Now do you want to guess what one thing keeps bothering me, Dani?”
She swallows, but nods her head in a yes. At the same time, her hand comes up to the scar on her chest. I shake my head.
“Don’t even think it, that scar is fucking beautiful. When I look at it, I’m reminded of what a strong woman I have. Of the courage she possesses and how fucking amazing she is. The kind of woman who survives. That’s the kind of woman a man holds onto—the kind of woman a man raises a family with, the kind of woman a man grows old with.”
The tears slowly slide down her cheeks now, but she’s smiling, so I figure it’s okay.
“So, what is it you don’t like?” she asks, her voice thick with emotion and love. I can literally hear the love.
“I’ve never watched you make yourself come,” I tell her with a cocky-ass smile, and really, who wouldn’t be cocky with all that I have.
“I…what d
o you want me to do?”
“Have you ever made your sweet little pussy come?”
“When we…”
“No, sweetheart, without me.”
She blushes and my body feels as if electricity is running through it. I will never get enough of this woman.
“Show me, Dani.”
I expect her to tell me no, and honestly, I’m too far gone to push her if she does. She surprises me yet again though, and I should be getting used to that by now. I watch as her hands move over her breasts and down to her stomach, slowly they trail down to the part that has me mesmerized at the moment. The soft hair shielding her, is wet and glistens, beckoning me.
“Pull your legs up towards your chest and plant those heels on the bed. Show me what’s mine, Dani.” my voice is hoarse with need.
She does it, and I watch those pretty fingers dance along the lips of her pussy.
“You’re so wet for me, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Do you want my cock?”
“God, yes. I’ve been dying to have your cock back inside of me.”
Her honesty pleases me.
“Spread that juicy cunt open for me and let me watch you tease that throbbing little clit of yours, baby.”
I watch her slide her fingers over that hard, swollen nub. She’s so wet, the liquid shines up at me, and I have to have her. Fuck, I need to make it last longer, but I just…can’t. I bend down, pull her hands up, and lock both her wrists in one of my hands.
“I’m sorry baby, but I just can’t wait.”
“Thank, God. Hurry Zander, fuck me. Please,” she growls in my ear.
I hold the head of my cock against her opening and look her in the eyes.
“No more doubts, Dani. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine.”
“No more doubts, Zander. I’m yours.”
With her words ringing in my ears, I slide inside—sinking all the way in. Once there, I don’t move while I catch my breath.
“Every time you’re inside of me, it just gets better,” she says, her words echoing my thoughts.
