by K Larsen
He sat, book open in his lap, watching her read. Watching the way her expression changed each time she read a scene. The way she popped grapes into her mouth. Her lips. The way the hair on his arm stood up with a static-like feeling each time their arms brushed each other’s. There was a tension between them that never was before. Every so often he’d catch her watching him and vice versa. Stolen moments that seemed to drive the temperature in the small space up.
Still healing, Celeste grew tired easily. As she drifted off, he played with a strand of her hair. If she only knew how much she played with his emotions. What would it finally be like to kiss her? To feel her lips on his. Soft pink lips. He sometimes caught her looking at him with want. But that couldn’t be. Not now. Not so close on the heels of her husband. The mere thought of Gabriel ignited something deep inside him that had never existed before. Hate. It ran deep too. Watching Gabriel pull her into his arms that day. Watching the knife come out. Knowing she couldn’t see it. He’d been blind with rage. With a fury so explosive that he’d almost fucked their entire plan by showing himself. Never before had he needed to use such great restraint. But he had. He’d seen the truth behind all of Gabriel’s lies in that moment. And now, now she was here, safe for now, alive. He watched her snore lightly and smiled at her. He would do, had done, anything for her even if his feelings were never returned.
Matteo set the journal aside and cracked his neck. He’d been in his wife’s life for the better part of four decades. Their story was a difficult one; not always, but enough so that he was certain that they would make it through anything if they were together. He’d sacrificed much for her but ultimately, if he could go back and change anything, he wouldn’t.
Not everyone would understand their connection. Their mutual desire for resolution. It bonded them further. It was unique to them and he coveted it. It was also nearing its end. They had worked, watched and sat idle for years upon years and now they were winding up for their grand slam, where the game would be won and then what? They had shared dreams, of travel, of relaxation, of seeing what the world had to offer to those blessed with the wealth to pay for it but a small part of him worried that it wouldn’t be enough for her. That she would feel a letdown when this was all over.
He shook the thoughts from his head and stood, stretched his back, hearing the gratifying pop of vertebrae. It was late and he needed rest. Tomorrow he needed to visit a few nurseries. Shop plants. It had to be just the right one.
~***~
Matteo’s day was rather bland. He’d purchased a potted Gloxinia plant for his wife. Dropped it at the rental then left to follow Tad around for a few hours. The tennis pro was a bore. His tan was fake, his gleaming white teeth displayed an obnoxious glare and the way he not-so-discreetly manhandled Monique was offensive. He’d rather be home reading, watching terrible daytime TV or really doing anything else. But this was a critical part of the plan and needed time invested into it. Monique had been seeing Tad for a good long while now. It was full blown love, easily readable in her expressions. Whether or not Tad truly returned that love, wasn’t as obvious. No matter. All that was needed were Monique’s feelings. It would truly be a shame the day she got his suicide letter insinuating she was the cause. She was mentally frail since losing her son; it was as obvious as the sun shining. So frail that it would only take one more small intrusion to break her.
He thought about Cece, how she looked like an angel in the bright summer sun. The way the glassy blue water seemed to wink at her on clear days. So full of grace that when she walked, she floated like a feather. So special. His.
Monique turned in Tad’s arms outside the hotel. Kissed him passionately. When they tore themselves apart Matteo could practically see the thorn twist in her side. There was hope in their eyes, as if they were thinking that through the storm they would reach the shore together. But Monique would be landing on the shore alone. Matteo smiled. His hands were tied, for now. But the longer she gave herself away to Tad, the more effective the revenge.
Chapter 2
April 2014
~ Matteo ~
LYING IN WAIT- waiting and watching for an opportune time to act. The lying in wait need not continue for any particular period of time provided that its duration is such as to show a state of mind equivalent to premeditation or deliberation.
He could hear it in her voice as she talked about the girl and it made him nervous. Celeste seemed almost giddy when she relayed their first few visits. What a brat she is, Matteo. I think she likes me. She’s got something broken in her. It’s evident in her eyes. I can use this. I can use this to build a relationship with her, to gain her trust. It was beyond him why she cared about gaining Annabelle’s trust. Being at the assisted living facility was just a cover, a means to an end. She didn’t need to stay longer than necessary but as their visit progressed, Celeste made it clear that she intended on staying till the end of Annabelle’s sentence. That the plan had changed. She was telling Annabelle the story of her. Of them. It was dangerous and he said as much but Cece wouldn’t be swayed. Doubts were dangerous. Matteo sighed and smiled at his wife. She was a force to be reckoned with and he knew that no matter how much he wanted this to play out quickly she was now bent on making this last piece of revenge personal. Very personal. He leaned in and kissed her forehead.
“I know Teo. I know,” she sighed. “This wasn’t the plan.”
“No, but if it is what you need, I will wait.” Cece looked up at him and grinned. She grabbed his face and pulled him to her. The kiss fiery and passionate. He kissed her back forcefully, truthfully, ardently.
“You are my moon Teo.” He pushed her soft hair over her shoulder.
“And you are my tide fiore mio.” She rested her cheek on his chest.
“You smell delicious. I miss this smell. Cigarettes and soap.”
He smirked. “I miss you. How can I possibly survive for six months only seeing you twice a month?” He sounded weak but it was also the truth, and they were always honest with each other. Over the last twenty years there had been only a handful of times they had been apart more than a few days. This would test them, challenge them, but he knew deep in his soul they would survive. They had to.
“This gloxinia is gorgeous. I’ll think of you every time I look at it,” she commented.
“I know love, that’s exactly why I brought it.”
“You jealous? How unlike you,” she laughed. He smoothed his thumb over the apple of her cheek.
“Jealous of the other residents? No fiore mio, jealousy has nothing to do with it. My motive is selfish. I want you thinking of me, of us, of our future, while you’re here.”
“Teo, Teo, Teo. You’re worried.”
He was. And he knew Cece could read him without effort. Why he tried concealing anything from the woman was unknown. “Sì, Celeste. You aren’t as ruthless as you want to believe. And that’s okay. It’s why I love you. I don’t want you to grow to like the girl-”
“Annabelle,” she cut him off. He sighed and ran a hand through his cropped hair.
“Yes, like her. Gabriel’s daughter,” he amended.
Celeste’s eyes held his. A moment passed between them. He knew that she heard him. That she understood his concerns just from a look.
“I won’t get too close my love. I’m doing this for us. You are my future. We’re so close now to having our lives back free and clear,” she said.
“Yes. We are.”
Celeste pushed up to her toes and snaked her arms around his neck. He bent slightly and scooped her up, hands holding her very tight, very perfect rear. “Enough talk of things we already know. Give me something to dream about until I see you again, husband,” she cooed. Matteo carried her to the bed and reverently stripped his wife bare while placing lingering kisses as he exposed each new section of golden, cashmere-soft skin. “Anything you want fiore mio.” With the ghost of his lips still on her skin, he rid himself of his clothes and worshipped the body that belonged to the woma
n he loved so deeply.
As he pulled in the driveway of his temporary home he felt lighter. His visit with Cece renewed his focus. He climbed out of the car, swinging the door shut behind him. He held on tight to the memory of the feel of her hair sliding through his fingers, of her lips, soft against his skin. The strength he drew from her in the harshest times kept him hard and attached to the truth of what they were doing. Murder. Utter destruction. His softer side had bled out watching Cece lying on the cold hard pavement. It had vanished as he watched Gabriel put a knife in her back and walk away without a glance backward. He rubbed the bridge of his nose hard, as if he could rub out those memories, the sting of them, away.
~***~
1996 - Paris/ Spain
Matteo says it’s not safe here anymore. That we need to leave Paris now. It’s becoming too hard for him to keep up appearances and I’m restless. The last year and change has been a sacrifice but it seems there is no longer anything to gain by being here. We’ve learned nothing new in months and this one room studio driving me mad. Sometimes I think it killed Max. Even the dog couldn’t take it.
I was.
I was.
I was.
I have days where the weariness of a massive stone wall spanning the banks of endless ocean hangs in my chest. Other times I am as numb as a morning fog. A change is taking place within my soul. It’s difficult to adapt because I’m no longer that old person, but not yet the new. As the sun rises and sets I remember her, my old self. In the introduction of buds and the rebirth of spring I remember her. When I’m lost and sick at heart, I remember her. Every time I think of myself, of who I am . . . it’s based on who I was. I feel adrift. I was hopeful. I was kind. I was content, vivacious, the color yellow. Now I don’t know. I’ve been stripped of all the characteristics I associated with myself. I’m dark brown, like mud. I’m confused, anxious, furious and vengeful. I’m split. Torn between two sides of myself that battle for the limelight. Like an index finger on the trigger of a loaded gun, I can feel the temperature inside me rising. I’m coming into my own again. I’m halfway to hell; I’ve made my bed.
I gave so much heart that I am now heartless. I need to fill the empty void that is left over. There was darkness - so much darkness. Gabriel stole my soul for personal gain. He thinks he’s something but consists of only money and opinions. I’ve been black inside. But that black has morphed into diamonds under all the pressure. That’s exactly why I plot and watch and wait. Teo and I bought a one-way train ticket to Spain and I see that I am not afraid. Not really. I deserve this life for all the sacrifice I’ve made.
Maybe I’m crazy. Or foolish. Maybe I don’t know how to love. But maybe I do. And I wonder, does it blow his mind that they never found my body? That I’m leaving him far behind. I wonder, does it stop his heart to know he’s not my gravity anymore? His face is a work of art. His smile could light up the Eiffel Tower. But it’s a shame that a man so handsome has such a repulsive heart. Maybe he’ll get married someday, and maybe she will worship him and maybe on his honeymoon he’ll think of me. But it doesn’t matter because I’m gone.
The seasons of my grief evolve. I will not resist the tides. I will give into them. The waves will bring me back to shore. Teo is my moon guided by the tide. I believe in myself. I believe in Teo. I believe in our unlimited potential. I surrender. I surrender to my new self. To my new life.
~***~
Some questions Matteo asked himself at night were best left until morning. Some questions stuck up without warning, leaving him restless and anxious. Be with me tonight, I’m lonely, cold. He had thought. Leave this crusade for vengeance. But Cece was willing to be fearless and thus, he was too. The memory reminded his soul, so he would stay waiting for her. Gabriel destroyed everything Celeste thought was true and she wouldn’t be satisfied-no they wouldn’t be satisfied-until they had taken from him all his truths-his marriage, his children, his identity. Not too much longer now. They were growing ever closer. Visualizing it was so satisfying, pulling a cigarette out of the pack he kept in his breast pocket he tucked it between his lips before lighting it. Celeste fascinated him still. He flipped through pages of her journal. He had a constant distaste in his mouth when he thought of Gabriel. He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting himself. Letting his mind wander to a time that didn’t revolve around him.
Them in the empty field in Canada with the stars, in the quaint cafes in Spain, at the restaurant where the course of her life-Dr. B’s life, had changed, quiet candle lit dinners together, times spent in their bed talking about nothing and everything, their late night intimacy, the laughs they shared, the arguments, the make-up sex, the dancing, the kisses and arms tangled together. He missed the intoxicating scent of flowers in the air. Flowers she worked hard to cultivate. To grow. To nurture. Matteo wanted to find a strand of her hair tangled in the button of his shirt in the middle of the day, or hear the front door open and know by the lightness of her footsteps that she was home. He wanted to wake up to kisses from his love again.
He focused his attention, a small smile playing on his lips. “Hearts bend because they can’t break when they have true love to guide them through all that’s thrown at them.” Cece had whispered that in his ear long ago in a remote house in Spain. It was true. It was their truth, together they could fair anything.
Chapter 3
May 2014
~ Matteo ~
Matteo hated that she wore the old locket. It seemed to be a part of her, to echo her heartbeat against her skin. It hung just above the swell of her breasts. It had no permission to hang there so close to her heart. It shone in the light from the window brilliantly. He gritted his teeth. His thoughts quickly turned stormy.
“Madison visited with Annabelle,” Cece practically chirped. He lifted his gaze and ran fingers through her long hair, massaging her scalp. She shifted. Soft lips pressed to the hollow of his throat before she laid her head back on his chest. “Who is Madison?” he asked.
“Belle’s best friend. She’s not exactly what I would call a good choice in the friend department though. It seems their friendship is based on a rather superficial foundation.”
“This is important why?” he asked.
“She told me about Brant.” He felt a shudder run through her body. His hand drifted between them until it reached hers, their fingers linking. That day had been especially dark. Nothing could have prepared him for the disaster that she was after it had happened. He was supposed to be there with her for that task but in a fit of blind rage she’d gone from simply observing to acting. It was a burden he couldn’t shoulder for her no matter how hard he tried.
“It destroyed her. Belle found him. All those questions we had. All those unanswered questions were laid bare for me.”
Matteo hated sitting on the sidelines. Doing nothing but waiting while she took the brunt of this last leg of the journey.
“And . . .” he pushed.
“And although it wasn’t meant to happen quite the way it did,” she tilted her face upward to meet his eyes, “the result was exactly right.”
“Cece.”
“Teo, I’m fine. It was good to hear it - to get closure,” she said. His eyes dropped to her mouth, that smile, those lips he wanted on him.
“How is it? Sitting with her, face to face? Building a relationship?”
Cece thought for a moment. “Odd. I try so hard to be distant but she’s a bright girl you know. She’s so lost in her life. Gabriel and Monique have truly done a number on her. Putting her down will actually put her out of her misery. It’s almost a blessing,” she smirked at him.
“I can do this for you. I would. You know that right?”
“Teo. I don’t need you to. You’ve done so much. Loved so thoroughly. You are the light that keeps me sane.”
“My hands are just as dirty as yours fiore mio,” he countered earnestly.
“Your hands are as clean as I could keep them, and that is how I’d like them to stay. We are so cl
ose now. I want those hands to whisk me away when this is over - give me a real life. A meaningful life of marriage and love and days growing old happily together.”
Matteo scoffed, mocking offense. “I’ve not done that thus far?”
She stretched her neck up and kissed him, biting his lip playfully. “You’ve done that and so much more.”
He stilled. “My moon, kiss me like that again.”
“My tide - forever.”
He kissed her in the sensitive spot below her ear and heard her breath hitch. Rolling her onto her back he hovered over her. He took his time as he kissed her face, her neck, her throat, her clavicle, stopping only to look into her eyes.
~***~
Matteo sat in the kitchen at the table eating take-out. They’d only intended on being apart for a month, tops. Cece’s change in plan was difficult for him. Six months felt never-ending. Through all the years they had lain in wait together. Planning meticulously how to go about everything and now he was alone, out of the loop most of the time while she was there with the Devil’s daughter. He now had to rearrange his end of the plan as well. He had watched the man’s comings and goings for months previously but now he had to find a new day and time to take him. He sighed and rubbed the backs of his hands over his eyes.
Matteo wanted to visit more but they’d both agreed it would be too dangerous. They needed to maintain as low a profile as possible, still. He couldn’t be the man that people recognized visiting her daily. Infrequent was best, even if difficult.
