by Jane Jamison
Her eyes pleaded with him to fuck her pussy.
Instead, he asked her a question that had her gasping for air. He undid the ball gag and tossed it away.
“Darlin’, let me spank you.”
Suddenly, all her confidence was gone. No. She couldn’t do that. How many times had her father spanked her as a child, then as a teen? Spanking had nothing to do with sex or with pleasure. How had she thought she could do it?
And yet the look in his eyes, the hope that she’d let him spank her, had her giving in. Wasn’t it her duty as his sub to please him? Wasn’t that what would give her men and her joy? If they’d told her the truth, then it would.
“All right.”
His eyes grew almost as wide as his smile.
Whack!
She stilled as she felt the first sting of his hand flat against her butt cheek. And she tried, oh, how she tried to concentrate on that sting as it whipped into her flesh to speed its way to her pussy. It would change to something pleasurable. At first, blissfully, she thought she’d succeeded.
Then it was gone, replaced by the memory of her father striking her. The brutal spankings he’d given her with his hand, with his belt, with a switch, came rushing back. Fear and anger overwhelmed her until she could no longer see Ron’s horrified expression or those of the shocked others. Instead, all she saw was her father’s ugly face twisted into a satisfied sneer.
“No! Stop!”
She’d thought she could handle it, but she’d been so very wrong. Everything else they’d done to her was fine and she was happy that she’d said yes to all of it. Getting naked and enjoying them in front of others had taken her to a whole new level of sexuality that she hadn’t known existed. She’d felt free, overjoyed to be with them, and had believed that the way she felt would help her accept their spanking for what it was, yet another way to experience pleasure.
But as soon as Ron had spanked her she’d known. Her father colored every other experience in her life. She should’ve known that the past abuse she’d taken from him would change that, too.
“Red. Please. Red.”
She twisted away from Ron in her desperation to keep him from spanking her again. Losing her balance, she fell forward into Hank’s waiting arms. Ron untied her, apologizing fast and furiously as Hank caught her, then picked her up into his arms.
“It’s okay, baby. You’re okay. Breathe.”
She clung to him, needing him in a different way, then lay her head against his hard chest. “Please. Get me out of here.”
Chapter Nine
“It’s as much my fault as it is yours.” Hank slumped into the leather chair in Paul’s office and slugged back a shot of whiskey.
He and Ron had spent the hour after they’d taken Carly off the stage in one of the private rooms reserved for members’ playtime. They’d stayed with her, covering her with a warm blanket as they told her how sorry they were. After drinking a couple of stiff drinks, she’d asked them to leave. They’d done as she’d asked even though they didn’t want to. It was their jobs as her Doms and her men to help her through that difficult time. But even though they’d done as she’d wanted, they’d still gotten Lucinda to promise to check on her every few minutes.
“No. It’s mine. I’m the one who spanked her.”
Hank hadn’t seen Ron that torn up before. He was beating himself up about his part in the fiasco, and despite his and Paul’s protests to the contrary, he wouldn’t give himself a break.
“You asked and she said yes.” Hank poured them both another shot. “It was just as much her decision as ours. And we stopped as soon as she said to.”
Not that he believed that excused it any more than Ron did, but he had to try to alleviate his friend’s remorse.
“He’s right.” Paul shook his head. “Hell, I deserve some of the blame, too. I should’ve been watching. After all, you two are still new to the Dom roles.” He threw back his drink. “Even so, I’ve got to get back to the fact that she wanted to try it. Give and take, experimentation, it’s all a part of testing limits and discovering what each person wants.”
Hank understood what Paul was saying, and a part of him agreed. Yet he couldn’t stop seeing the anger, the fear on her face and in her wide eyes. He’d give anything to take that away.
“Her father sure did a number on her. Although I don’t understand why she could handle everything else so well, but not the spankings. She sure as hell looked like she enjoyed Ron giving her nipples a thorough workout. And I swear she loved the ball gag and the ass fucking.” He shook his head at another shot. It wouldn’t do him or Carly any good if he got drunk.
“You’re right, but from what I’ve heard about how Bill Rivers treated her as a kid, I can understand it.”
“I know he was a hard-ass, but what’d you hear?” Hank leaned forward, intent on finding out what Paul knew. Was there more to it than what they already knew?
“From the stories I’ve heard, he used to wail her hide every chance he got. Even then, she was a defiant girl, disobeying him, mouthing off at him. Not that that justifies what he did. I heard it continued all the way up to the day she left for college.”
Ron poured a drink for himself and knocked it back. “Then why the hell would she come back to town? She got her business degree and she got out. Why the hell didn’t she stay out?”
Paul’s hooded expression was a sure giveaway if he’d ever seen one. “Yeah, Ron’s right. Why didn’t she just stay the hell out of Dodge?”
It hurt to think that she might’ve done exactly that. That he and Ron would’ve never seen her again. But if living at her father’s house was that awful, he almost wished she’d stayed away. It would’ve left them alone and miserable for the remainder of their lives, but if it could’ve kept her safe, then he would’ve chosen that path for her.
“I’ll give you two reasons why she didn’t.” Paul leaned against his desk. “First of all, she’s not going to go that far away from her mother. I’ll bet if we could check her phone records, we’d see that she called her mother numerous times a week to check on her. She had to leave to get her education, but she came back as fast as she could.”
“And the second reason?”
“You’re screwing with me. You two really don’t know?”
Hank checked with Ron, but it was clear that his friend was as clueless as he was. “Tell us.”
“Hell, boys, you can ask almost everyone in this town. She’s had a crush on you since she was in high school. You two are the second reason she came back.”
Ron groaned, then poured another drink. If he didn’t stop soon, Hank would have to make him stop.
“We didn’t know until she told us. And I just fucked that up.” Ron took the drink, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m out. I’m not taking on the Dom role for anyone, but especially not with her.”
“Aw, stop whining about what you did and who’s wrong. Man up and make it right.”
Both Hank and Ron scowled at Paul. “Shit. Don’t sugarcoat it.”
“Would you really want me to?” Paul snagged the whiskey bottle away from Ron. “Look, I don’t think you messed up that much. But if you think so, then fix it. You’ve learned a lot in the past few months that you’ve been a Dom, but you still have more to learn. Right now you’ve got to stop playing the victim and work it out. For her sake, if not your own.”
Hank had to give it to Paul. He had a way of cutting right to the core of the problem. “He’s right. I’m not ready to give up on her or on us. We have to get her past the crap her father put her through. We have to get her to realize that what he did and what we do are two different things. We have to do it for her. Even if she doesn’t want us any longer, she has to get past it so that one day she can have a lasting relationship.”
“Damn, man, you’ve been watching too many talk shows.” Ron set his shot glass down on the wet bar. “But you’re right. It’s our responsibility to help her. Just tell me how we do that.�
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Hank rested back in the chair. “When I figure that out, I’ll let you know.”
* * * *
“We’re sorry about what went on yesterday.”
Carly touched Ron’s cheek. The dark circles under his eyes were enough to tear at her heart and she couldn’t let him keep on blaming himself. “Stop right there. You don’t have to be sorry. Either you or Hank. You asked and I said yes. I shouldn’t have, but I did. It was my fault.”
“No. I’m the one who’s responsible. I’m your Dom. I should’ve…” He pulled his body straight. “Trust me. It’ll never happen again.”
Trust me.
How many times had a man said those same words to her? But Hank and Ron were different, right? He’d stopped right away once she’d told him to. Didn’t that mean he deserved her trust? At least as far as their Dom/sub relationship went?
“Again, it’s okay. I’m fine now. I guess I’ve got a lot to learn about this whole sub thing.”
“We all have a lot to learn.” He slid his arm around her waist and hugged her close. “Every time I think I’ve got it down, I find out what I don’t know could fill the back of a pickup.”
His soft kiss and the protective way he held her was all she needed. Hank had stopped her earlier that evening as she’d worked her tables at the club and had made his apologies. Again, she’d told him that it wasn’t necessary. She’d made it back into work again, determined not to lose the job she’d only just gotten, but she was worried about how the other staff and members would treat her. She shouldn’t have worried. She could sense their support in their smiles and heard it in their words of encouragement.
“You do have a way of putting things, Ron.” She went with her instincts and placed a quick peck on his cheek. “I’d better get back to work before Paul fires me.”
“He will over my dead body.”
She winked at him, feeling much better, then went back to work. Many people danced to the lively music the band played while she worked her way in and out of the crowd. Although a lot of people who came took advantage of the “clothing optional” rules, many were fully dressed. Others took to the secluded booths to play out a “scene” as she’d learned it was called, and although she was still taken aback at some of the things people did, she was growing more used to it with each minute that passed.
At last, with her feet aching from running back and forth to the bar, it was finally time for her break. She eased past two people who were so involved in kissing that a bomb could’ve exploded and they wouldn’t have noticed, and cozied up to the bar. “Wilson, is it okay if I take a break now?”
“Yep. Just ask Belinda to watch your tables while you’re gone.”
“Will do.”
Belinda was one of the waitresses who had worked there for over a year. She was skilled at tending bar and slinging drinks, but she also got into sexual play with a lot of the regulars. Carly was amazed at how easily she kept up with both her drink customers and her “playtime” customers.
And yet, she’d heard a few rumors about Belinda. The woman wanted to be more than a waitress. Word had it that she wanted to marry one of the owners even though they’d already taken a permanent submissive. Failing that, Belinda would put her sights on any eligible bachelor, preferably one who owned a ranch and some oil wells. Men like Hank and Ron. Love didn’t matter. All she wanted was a ticket to a leisurely life.
As far as Carly was concerned, Belinda could do anything she wanted. Why should she care?
Carly scoured the crowd. Where had Belinda gone anyway? She wasn’t working her tables so she had to be involved with one of the scenes. Either that or she was getting drink orders from the members who were in one of the private rooms.
She headed down the first hallway. If Belinda was taking an order, she’d leave the door open. Most of the doors, however, were closed, which meant she couldn’t go in. The name of their waitress was written on the chalkboard next to the door.
She walked down the first hall, then tried the second when she didn’t see Belinda’s name on any of the boards. By the time she’d reached the end of the second hallway, she wasn’t sure where to look. Had Belinda gone home? But that didn’t make sense. If she had, she would’ve told Wilson.
“Oh, sexy man, you’re so funny.”
A high-pitched giggle wafted through the partially opened back door. Was that Belinda? Was she involved in a scene? If she was, she was breaking the rule about telling Paul or Wilson when she was taking a moment to satisfy a member’s special request. Especially when it meant going outside.
Damn it. She just had a playtime break less than an hour earlier.
She hated to do it, but her feet were barking up a storm. Fair was fair and she’d make Belinda see that. Lucinda had told her that sometimes they had to get assertive with Belinda. If they didn’t, the woman would take more than her fair share of breaks.
Pushing the door open, she walked out into the area behind the club. The moon was high in the sky and the rear spotlights were centered on the horse trough that she’d heard was used for the initiation of new members and staff. Paul had mentioned that she needed to start thinking about whether she wanted to go through with the initiation or not. It wasn’t mandatory, but everyone enjoyed them, so it was rare for someone to turn down the chance.
A lump was in her throat as she scanned the area, but saw no one.
“Belinda, come on, girl.”
Hank?
Carly’s gut twisted. Was he with Belinda? She forced her stiff legs to move, hating what she might find, yet knowing she didn’t have any other option. She walked quietly, taking care not to make any noise. Yet when she rounded the side of the horse trough, she let out a small moan.
Hank stood over Belinda who was on her knees, her halter top hanging off her breasts, her hands positioned at the front of his crotch. His back was to Carly, but she didn’t have to see to know what Belinda was doing.
He twisted around as he was zipping up his jeans. “Carly?”
Fury, harder and more gut-wrenching than she could ever remember feeling, broke free like a monster savagely tearing her body apart. The world swam around her, blurring her vision.
“Carly, this isn’t what it seems.”
She laughed, more out of pain than anything else, then whirled and ran for the door. Hank caught her arm just as she managed to get inside. Throwing her body away from him, she fisted her hands, aching to strike out.
“Get the fuck away from me, you asshole!”
“Carly, listen to me.”
She dashed down the hallway, uncaring where she was going, but he caught her arm again and jerked her back toward him. He brought her close, pressing her chest against his.
“Look at me.”
“Fuck off.”
“Carly, I told you to look at me.”
A coldness washed into her, turning burning fury into icy rage. She glared at him, then lowered her gaze to his hands on her arms. “Let me go right now.” Her voice was low, but filled with power as she put all her fury into the next word. “Sir.”
He turned her loose, but stepped in front of her to block her way. “Baby, please listen to me.”
She met his eyes, and for one brief moment, felt her resolve waver. Before it could take hold, the memories of the other men who’d cheated on her came rushing back, wiping any hesitation from her a second before the vision of her father’s face took hold.
Saying anything else was impossible. She couldn’t speak with the agony that ripped into her stomach. Instead, she put as much of her anger, of the hatred she was feeling, into the way she glowered at him. He blinked, then stood back. Fighting back the tears, she turned and stalked down the hall.
Her anger soon gave way to the pain. Once she was among the crowd, she couldn’t hold back any longer. Pushing against them, she ran toward the front door, her tears stinging her eyes, her heartache taking hold of her in a way that said it was there to stay. When another hand clutched at her arm a
nd yanked her to the side, she cried out and stumbled into the man.
“Hank, leave me alone.”
“There you are, you little whore. I knew I’d find you here.” Her father’s upper lip curled upward as he pulled her away from the crowd and into the foyer.
Lindsey let out a surprised yelp as they rushed past her at the reception desk. “Carly!”
She hoped Lindsey would call Paul, anyone to help, but she’d learned long ago that she had only herself to count on. “Let me go!”
“Like hell I will. No daughter of mine is going to shame me like this. You’re coming back to the house. I’m going to beat some sense and decency into you.”
She tried to fight him, but he was too strong. The stench of his whiskey-laden breath flowed over her, dirtying her. “Damn it. Let me go.”
Carly had put up with his beatings in the past for the sake of her mother. She’d allowed him to whip and beat her with spankings that had left bruises and welts. She’d taken his abuse, then had run from it, but she couldn’t take any more.
Screaming her rage, she pulled away from him so hard that she stumbled backward, fell, and landed on her back. Her father towered over her, his cackle adding to her torment as he tugged the belt from his jeans.
“You need a good whippin’, girl. Not that it’ll do you any good. You like getting a whippin’, don’t you? But a father’s got to try and make his whelp fly right.”
“No.” She flipped over, scrambling onto her hands and knees. Getting only a few feet away wasn’t enough. The sting of his belt and buckle striking her flesh tore into her, sending her falling onto her face.
“Damn it! You’re going to learn your lesson once and for all if it kills you. Better you’re dead than a fucking whore.”
Screaming again, this time in fury that held no bounds, she rolled over and lifted her hands in time to catch his belt as it arced downward, narrowly missing her face. The surprise on her father’s face made her laugh as she wrapped the belt around her wrist and yanked it out of his hands.
She wanted to hit him, wanted to give him a piece of his own abuse, but before she could get to her feet, Wilson grabbed him under the arms and threw him to the ground. Paul took hold of her and lifted her back on her feet.
