Courage, and the ability to face life’s problems, surely came from within yourself and the strength of your beliefs, not the place you were born, or even where you happen to live.
War, however, could have a devastating impact.
Cathie felt weary to the bone. Not simply from being entirely responsible for the care of a child, as well as waiting hand, foot and finger on a useless mother, but also from six years of hard work, sleepless nights in a damp air raid shelter, fear and anxiety that yet another bomb might drop at any minute, and constant worry over her one-time fiancé. Losing Alex completely had only deepened that sense of dejection.
Instead of the warmth of a new future together to look forward to, she felt as if she’d been discarded into an icy heap of debris all over again.
Carefully guiding the pram around the fenced barriers set to guard the bomb-ruined houses, Cathie walked slowly on. Finally, she reached the section of the River Medlock where trees grew upon the sloping grassy banks. Even if most of them were still bare of leaves at this time of year, buds were beginning to form, and a few snowdrops and wild daffodils were already springing into flower.
Cathie revelled in the fresh scents of country air and the glory of open spaces. It felt wonderful to be out and about. She hated being confined indoors day after day with no job to go to. As hard as she struggled to find one, she’d had no luck so far. But with spring coming, perhaps things would improve. She could but hope so. Yet again she felt filled with sympathy and admiration for Steve’s strength when finding himself trapped in a wheelchair. Cathie told herself that she could perhaps learn a lesson from her old friend. She needed to hold on to the confidence that had built up in her over the war years, and never allow it to be destroyed.
Think positive, that was surely the best way to cope.
Rocking the baby gently in her pram, Cathie felt deeply thankful to have the child. The pair of them were also blessed with good health. As a result of all the adversity everyone had suffered on the home front, people were too easily falling sick, resistance to illness becoming alarmingly low. Cathie had recently received a letter from Brenda, tucked inside a belated Christmas card, to say she’d been struck down with a bad attack of flu and wouldn’t be back for some time. She’d even slipped the key to her little bedsit into the envelope. ‘Just in case you need a hideaway, darling,’ she’d written. ‘The rent is paid for the next three months, so no need to worry about that.’
She missed Brenda badly, although accepting her offer was a tempting thought.
Alex may object to taking care of a baby that was not his. Heather was not hers either, but Cathie loved the child as if she was, and no matter what problems the future might bring, she would somehow find the strength to cope. She owed it to her beloved sister, and must consider this little baby’s future too, not just her own.
Her spirits suitably raised, Cathie walked briskly along the towpath to their dingy house tucked up a back street close to the river, and was astonished to discover Alex sitting in the kitchen having tea with her mother.
Heart racing, Cathie gazed upon him in wonder. It was weeks since she’d last seen Alex, and she’d almost forgotten how good-looking he was, how erect and masterful. Despite now being dressed in civilian clothes, thankfully a smart grey suit rather than the drab, too short demob one he’d come home in, he still looked every inch the soldier, right down to his polished boots.
‘Ah, there you are,’ he said, smiling up at her. ‘We were wondering what had happened to you.’ He made no move to approach her, but Cathie was holding the baby in her arms, so why would he?
‘We’ve been taking our afternoon walk,’ she said, stuttering a little over her words. Why had he come, just when she’d given up hope that he ever would? Cathie longed to ask, but couldn’t quite pluck up the courage to do so, regardless of all her earlier promises to be strong. The prospect of being put down by Alex yet again was too dreadful to contemplate.
The baby was restless and whimpering a little, already nodding off in her arms, having been sitting up and taking a lively interest in the birds, passing dogs and cats, trees, flowers and ducks for the full length of the walk, as she always did. She seemed to be the kind of child who drank everything in with great gusto.
‘If you’ll excuse me a moment, I must change little Heather and put her down for a nap.’ Cathie gathered up a bundle of clean nappies and carried Heather upstairs.
Could it possibly be that Alex missed her and wanted her back? Oh, she did hope so. Or what if he’d come to see if she’d changed her mind about adoption? If so, then he’d be disappointed. Heather was her foster child now, and would remain so.
It was a wonder her ears weren’t burning, as by the way the pair had been huddled together by the fire as if they were old buddies, Cathie guessed that they must have been talking about her, and the issue of the baby. Surely Rona would have convinced him that Heather was in fact Cathie’s niece, and her own granddaughter?
As she was working the six till two shift today, she’d clearly had time to change out of her work overall, turban and clogs. She was now all dolled up in a blue and white polka dot cotton frock, the kind you might expect to find on a young girl of twenty, not a woman of forty-seven. Yet she looked amazing.
Cathie felt almost jealous of her mother’s good looks and glamour, but then she didn’t any longer feel young and attractive herself, quite certain there must be lines of weariness on her face. Since losing Sal, and faced with all this extra work, she’d rather lacked the energy or interest to take care of herself properly, unlike Rona who took such a pride in her appearance, no matter what was happening in the world.
Perhaps that was one of the reasons Alex had dropped her, because she was no longer the pretty young thing she’d used to be, but a tired, overworked woman. And why he’d glanced up at her with only casual interest.
When Cathie came back downstairs she was astonished to find Rona standing at the cooker, stirring a pan of soup.
‘Your mother has invited me for tea,’ Alex explained.
‘Indeed I did,’ Rona said. ‘I hope you don’t mind, chuck, but I thought it might allow you two an opportunity to talk.’
This was the last thing she’d expected and Cathie sat down rather quickly, again feeling a tingle of nerves. She kept her head down, saying nothing, as Rona dished out tomato soup, but didn’t fail to notice how her mother would give Alex the odd teasing smile or wink, as always unable to resist a gorgeous young man. Or sometimes a little shrug of her shoulders, as if in apology for her daughter’s behaviour. Alex would offer a smile in return, even a covert little wink now and then. It felt as if they were exchanging secret messages.
A meat and potato pie followed the soup. ‘I spent the afternoon baking this, do hope you like it,’ Rona sweetly murmured, placing a portion before him with a dazzling smile.
‘It’s delicious,’ Alex said, responding with a bewitching smile of his own.
Cathie cast a scathing glance at Rona, all too aware that her mother had never baked anything in her life. But then why would she trouble herself to cook when she’d had two daughters capable of looking after themselves and her? Caring and cooking for a man, however, she would view as another matter entirely, as it produced more interesting benefits. Guessing Rona had purchased the food from the Co-op, Cathie again dropped her gaze and said not a word, eating in complete silence. There were far more important issues to worry over than the source of a pie.
‘So what is it you wanted to talk about?’ she finally plucked up the courage to ask, as she laid her knife and fork down on the empty plate.
Alex paused to clear his throat, taking a swig of the beer that Rona had given him from the private stock she kept squirrelled away in the pantry. ‘I wished to apologise for the way I reacted over the baby.’
‘Oh!’ Something seemed to melt inside Cathie. ‘Do you really mean that?’
‘I most certainly do, darling. Ma was right to say that I’m a little less patien
t than I used to be. Although it was something of a shock to learn of your plan to adopt in quite such an unexpected way.’
‘I’m sure it was. So sorry about how I handled the matter. I made a real mess of it, I know.’ Cathie at once launched into an apology for not having told him earlier.
‘And I apologise because I didn’t feel ready to start a family so soon,’ he said. ‘Also for my reluctance to be responsible for someone else’s child. That’s probably because returning to Civvy Street is not proving easy. I have yet to find a job, a home of my own, and to settle into some sort of routine. That could take time. Nevertheless, I have no wish to lose you, sweetheart.’
‘Oh, I do understand,’ Cathie said, her tone somewhat breathless, even though she felt utterly bemused and startled by his sudden change of heart. What could have brought it on? ‘I’ve no wish to rush you down the aisle, as I explained to your mother. In any case, I now have permission to foster little Heather, although obviously I would need your support in order to adopt her. Were you ever to change your mind about marrying me, that is.’ She could feel a flush of heat starting up in her cheeks. Had she said too much?
‘As a matter of fact I’ve been applying some serious thought to the matter,’ Alex was saying, giving Cathie a gentle smile as he patted her hand. ‘The point is, I may have been a little hasty in making such snap decisions. It’s certainly the case that I do wish to feel free to get out and about more, but your mother has generously agreed to babysit for us whenever she can.’
‘Really?’ Cathie gazed upon the smirk of pleasure on Rona’s face in astonishment. If only she was as generous towards her daughter as she was with a man.
‘I do still wish to marry you, sweetheart, if you’ll have me.’
‘Oh, Alex, yes please! Of course I will.’ Happiness exploded within as Cathie flung herself into his arms, and the pair of them kissed and made up. She felt quite unable to believe this turn in her good fortune. ‘Shall I bring little Heather down so you can give her a cuddle and get to know her better?’
‘If you wish,’ he said, looking slightly startled by the suggestion.
On her way back upstairs to fetch her, Cathie saw how Rona turned to Alex with a seductive little smile, as was her way. ‘Would you like a little bread and butter pudding?’ she asked. ‘I baked this, too.’
What a fantasist she was, Cathie giggled to herself. But how amazing that she now had full support from them both.
Davina sat on the edge of her bed fidgeting madly, the next minute dashing to the window to see if he was coming yet. Alex had left a note earlier, promising to be here by seven o’clock. It was already nearly half past and still there was no sign of him. Did he intend to dump her as well as silly Cathie? But why would he? They’d been seeing each regularly ever since Christmas, and not for a moment had he suspected that bringing the matter of the baby to his attention had been entirely her idea. Or that she’d lied to the manservant by claiming her to be Cathie’s child.
Davina felt a small degree of guilt for the way she’d deliberately upset the infant by depriving her of food for most of Christmas Day, as well as her precious teddy bear. But some things were far more important than keeping a baby happy. She had her own future to think of, and sharing Alex with that red-headed fool was not part of it.
Hearing a knock on the door she leaped to her feet. Her landlady, Mrs Phillipson, marched straight in, as she tended to do, with no regard for a person’s privacy.
‘There’s a young man downstairs wanting to see you.’
‘Oh, thank you so much,’ Davina said, making a move to rush down the stairs and fetch him that instant.
‘You’ll need your coat, as it’s freezing cold out, and you certainly can’t invite him in. I won’t have any of that carry-on in my house,’ the woman told her, a sour expression of disapproval on her wrinkled face.
‘Oh, no, of course not,’ Davina said, striving to hide her disappointment. She grabbed her coat and scarf and obediently followed Mrs Phillipson downstairs where she explained to Alex how they would have to go out, as they couldn’t stay here.
Casting a furious glance in the direction of the landlady who stood with her arms folded, deliberately blocking the foot of the stairs, Alex took Davina’s arm and led her out into the pouring rain. Within minutes, they were running along Bridge Street towards the Pack Horse, laughing as they bounced through the door, soaking wet.
Davina couldn’t have cared less about her wet hair, or that she hadn’t properly buttoned up her coat and her dress was soaked too. All that mattered was that Alex had arrived, at last. She found a corner where they could snuggle up close, watching with her heart in her eyes as he went to order drinks at the bar.
‘Sorry I was late. Been a bit busy. But I’ve missed you, sweetheart,’ he told her, as he finally returned with a glass of wine each, and settled himself beside her.
‘It feels like a lifetime since I saw you last, even if it was only a week.’
‘Then let me remind you of it,’ he said, giving her a quick kiss.
Davina gave a soft groan. ‘I need far more than that, but Mrs Phillipson, my dictator of a landlady, would never allow it. What about your place?’
Alex shook his head. ‘With Ma and Pa around? Not a chance. We’ll have to think of some other solution. Perhaps a visit to the Midlands Hotel some time, or one out of town where no one will know us.’
Davina flickered from a thrill of anticipation to a puzzled frown. ‘Why would that matter? We’re a couple, aren’t we? You aren’t even engaged to that silly wench anymore, so what’s the problem?’
Instead of answering, he slipped an arm about her shoulders and kissed her again, at first soft and then much harder. ‘You’re so gorgeous. Irresistibly lovely.’
She couldn’t help but giggle with delight, wrapping her arms about his waist to hold him close, before noticing people were glancing their way and giving little sniggers. Alex also glanced about him at the crows packing the bar, and eased himself off her. ‘It’s a bit busy here. We’ll find somewhere quieter next time. In fact, I can think of somewhere right now, once it stops raining.’
Fortunately, they found that the rain had indeed stopped as they came out of the pub later. The night was now cold and frosty, but Davina made no objection when Alex decided they should take a short walk towards the canal. Moments later, he led her down a flight of stone steps to a cobbled platform beside the lock, lit by an old street lamp. A wooden footbridge, leading to the towpath opposite, spanned the canal. But just before this was a bench set in the lea of a wall topped by metal posts. Dropping on to the seat, he pulled her to him. Davina happily straddled his lap, quivering with passion as he at once began to kiss and caress her face, neck and breasts, then quickly pushed himself inside her, gasping in his urgency.
‘What would I do without you?’ he sighed when he finally released himself, sinking back and giving a little shudder, although whether from the cold or the thrill of their coupling she wasn’t too sure.
‘What indeed?’ she whispered, sliding her hand between his legs. ‘Can we do that again, please, a little slower this time?’ It was so wonderful that she’d won him back. All she needed to do now was to persuade him to marry her. And this was a pretty obvious way to achieve that dream.
Watching Alex scuttle out through the door of the pub with his arm still wrapped about the girl, Steve battled with himself to sit tight and not race after the fellow to punch his nose in, rather as he’d done to him that time. What a bastard! How could he treat Cathie so abominably? She was a lovely girl, so sweet and kind, if rather shy and nervous as a result of all the traumas she’d suffered in life.
Steve could sympathise with that feeling as he’d suffered quite a few traumas himself. There were days when images and memories haunted him: the sight of dead bodies lying around, the stench of burned flesh, guns blasting and the sound of explosions. They would carry him back to a time he’d much rather not remember.
Even now his
leg was aching or would sometimes feel stiff with pain despite no longer being there. The doctor assured him the problem would eventually ease, he just had to be patient. Patience had never been a part of his temperament in the past, certainly not with Cathie when they were kids together. But she’d proved to be such a good friend, helping him to deal with his injuries, that his feelings towards her had changed.
Oh, how he loved her! What he wouldn’t give to have her love him instead of this idiot. But what could he do? Should he tell her that he’d seen her fiancé kissing another woman? Would she believe him? She rarely believed a word he said, because of the foolish jokes he used to play on her. Yet he also understood the emotional trauma of losing someone you loved. A subject he preferred not to dwell upon.
But, as far as he was aware, their relationship was now over, and they were no longer engaged, so he was probably worrying unduly. This woman might well have been the real reason Alex had called it off, and nothing to do with the baby at all.
All he could do, Steve decided, was to keep an eye on the bloke, and watch how things developed. Then he’d make whatever decision seemed appropriate.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Alex kicked his feet against the cold as he paced back and forth down the alley. Where was the blighter? The chap was supposed to be here by ten o’clock. Glancing at the clock through the post office window, he saw that it was almost half past. Frustration and anger pulsated through him. Maybe this had been a bad idea. What if a policeman spotted him, and arrested him for loitering? Not a pleasant prospect. He’d thought this scheme worth the risk in an effort to make some real money, which was in desperately short supply. Now he was beginning to wonder if this Eddie fellow had led him down the garden path.
Home Is Where the Heart Is Page 9
