She squirmed a little, feeling she really hadn’t been quite so generous or patient with him as she perhaps should have been, in view of their past differences. Yet had felt the need to do what she could to help.
‘When I came home I had to wait six months for an artificial limb, at first spending my days confined to a wheelchair, my father lifting me in and out of it. That was very kind and noble of him but left me feeling trapped and very dependent. Mum would fuss over me far too much too, feeding me a constant string of meals, which also began to grate on my nerves. I’d have been as fat as a pig if she’d had her way. Finally, I started a slow recovery with a peg leg, then when I was fitted with my artificial limb no one knew about my injury, as apart from a slight limp it wasn’t visible. Many people accused me of avoiding active service, of being a conscientious objector.’
‘Oh, that’s dreadful, almost like those women who handed out white feathers during World War One to people who’d likewise been injured.’
‘Quite! They couldn’t see my pain either, as it doesn’t turn you purple. I’d have difficulty even getting on to a bus. Once, losing patience with the time it was taking me, the conductor rang the bell and the bus set off with me only half on. Unable to quickly jump off, I fell. He stood on the platform laughing, as if I were simply a drunken idiot.’
‘How utterly heartless some people are.’
He shrugged. ‘Some soldiers do turn to drink to overcome their injuries. Thankfully, I managed to avoid doing that. Once I got the hang of it, things did become a lot easier. Although now I’m treated exactly as if I were normal, which can still at times cause problems. So, like yourself and many others, I settle for not mentioning the problem. Best to keep quiet, and battle on regardless.’
‘You are so brave.’ Cathie was suddenly filled with admiration for this one-time nuisance of a friend. He didn’t even hold any resentment against the Germans who had dropped the V1 rocket in the first place. He would say that those men were only doing their job, as he was doing his.
‘And as I’ve said before, war can cause disruption in a relationship, which is sometimes—’
‘Fortunately not in mine,’ she said with a smile, interrupting him. And as she launched into a description of their plans for the wedding, Steve found himself sinking into a gloomy silence. She clearly wasn’t prepared to listen and, for all he knew, it could well have been a goodbye kiss Alex had given the girl in the pub, so why upset Cathie if that was the case? What right did he have to interfere in her life? Probably none at all. ‘I just want you to be happy,’ he lamely remarked, hating himself for being such a coward.
‘Why would I not be?’ she asked with a laugh. ‘I am at last to marry the man I love.’
It was not a decision Steve felt he had the right to dispute. How could he possibly say that he thought she’d fallen for the wrong man?
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘Did you really offer to babysit?’ Cathie asked Rona one day, as she sat making a list of what needed to be done to prepare for the wedding. You always refuse when I ask you, and I have to get Brenda to babysit if Alex and I wish to enjoy an evening out together. So what changed your mind? Presumably because he asked you.’
‘He’s a lovely young man, so why would I refuse him anything?’ her mother remarked with a casual shrug.
It was the kind of reply that caused a shudder to shimmer down Cathie’s spine. She recalled how close Rona and Alex would sit when chatting by the fire. How her mother had made an enormous effort to produce a meal for him when she hated cooking with a venom, never having lifted a finger to help in the house in years.
Nor had Cathie failed to notice the smiles and winks exchanged between the two of them, even though Rona probably believed herself unobserved. How many times in the past had she witnessed similar scenes, when men had called round to be cosseted by her attractive mother? Wasn’t that the reason why her father had left his wife, since most of those flirtations had gone on to develop into affairs? And where was her poor father now? She wished she knew. Even Auntie Evie had no idea where her brother was, as she hadn’t seen or heard from him in years.
A chill settled within Cathie. The prospect of her mother engaging in an affair with her own fiancé made her gag. It really didn’t bear thinking of. She took a breath to steady herself, struggling to keep her voice calm. ‘I’m grateful that you’re prepared to be helpful at last, Mam. So long as you remember that Alex is to be my husband, not a plaything of yours.’
Rona chuckled as she lit a cigarette with a pretty silver lighter. ‘Are you suggesting that I might try to steal him from you?’ she teased, looking gleeful. ‘Now there’s a challenge. If a man loves a woman, why would he look elsewhere?’
‘Why indeed? He’s my man, not yours. Just remember that. And please don’t smoke in front of the baby.’
‘I was just showing off me new lighter? Posh, eh? Expensive too, I should imagine. Alex gave it to me as a thank you gift for bringing you two back together. Ah, now isn’t that generous of him?’
Cathie stared at Rona in disbelief. Alex had bought her mother a present? Yet he didn’t even give her one at Christmas, beyond the offer of dinner with his family. Dear God, what was happening? Was she about to lose the love of her life to her own mother? ‘You keep well away from him, right?’
‘Oh, so you won’t be needing a babysitter after all then?’ Rona asked, her eyes wide with mock innocence.
‘I don’t think I’ll take the risk of having you hovering around, not when I know how you ruined Dad’s life. I certainly won’t have you ruining mine in the same way.’ And, having said her piece, Cathie picked up the baby and escaped for their regular afternoon walk, leaving her mother chortling with laughter, as if she’d found the conversation highly amusing.
Why on earth had she been blessed with such a witch of a woman?
When Cathie next returned it was to find Alex locked in conversation with her mother yet again. Their heads were nearly touching as they sat huddled together by the tiny fire flickering in the grate. It troubled her deeply to see them so friendly. How could she ever trust Rona, as she was completely without any sense of morals? But Alex seemed to call in at all times of the day, which was surely to see her, not Rona, so perhaps she was reading too much into this.
He smiled up at her. ‘I just popped in to ask if we could change our plans and bring the wedding forward. Your mother thinks that is an excellent idea. Do you agree?’
‘How can we do that?’ Cathie said, utterly astonished by such a suggestion. ‘Everything is arranged, the Co-op room booked and paid for, the church and vicar informed. And I’ve really no wish to again be accused by your mother of rushing you to the altar. Why would you want to bring it forward?’
‘You know that I can hardly wait to marry you, sweetie, and when we do it really has nothing to do with Ma. So let’s run off and do it now, right away, with no fuss. We could elope, if you like.’
Cathie giggled as she kissed him. ‘No, darling, I think we should be patient. The ceremony is but a few weeks off. Surely you can wait a little longer?’
Giving a little groan, he put his head in his hands, as if something was deeply troubling him.
‘What’s the problem? What is bothering you?’
‘The truth is, I spoke to my parents but they have refused to offer us accommodation. Even if I managed to talk them round they would charge us the earth in rent. My imperious father is insisting that I get a job first, without appreciating how difficult that is and unwilling to help in any way. We deserve a home of our own, a real future, yet no one is doing anything to help, not the government, not the forces, not even my own parents. No one! Only the Salvation Army helps ex-servicemen by supplying them with blankets, clothes and food, and even shelter. No one else does a damn thing.’
Putting her arms around his stiff shoulders, Cathie gave him a warm hug. ‘It will happen. You’ll find a job soon, I’m sure of it.’
‘At least you have faith in me, s
weetie. I believe we’ll get lucky too, and make our fortune one day. I dream of buying a car, of moving to one of those planned garden cities. We’ll enjoy a wonderfully comfortable, rich life.’
Cathie smiled as she rocked the baby on her lap, striving to go along with his dreams. ‘That sounds lovely, but it might take a while. In the meantime, your father is right. We both need to find employment. What sort of job are you looking for? We have to ask ourselves what kind of skills we have. Mine has been with checking tyres, but as there are no jobs for women in that area now, I have to think of something else. I’m certainly open to offers. What about you?’
‘Lord, now you’re beginning to sound like him.’
She chuckled. ‘Right now we can’t even afford to rent a house, so we must keep searching for work. I shall go round all the factories and shops yet again, starting first thing in the morning.’
‘There’s really no need for you to do anything. I would prefer my wife to stay at home and be a true woman. So the sooner we marry the better.’
Giving a sad little shake of the head, Cathie said, ‘Not if you don’t have a job. Maybe we should postpone the wedding for a little while, if finding work or training of some sort is becoming a serious problem.’
‘Good Lord, no, I can’t bear to contemplate doing such a thing. I wish I had more money saved, and then we could marry tomorrow. I don’t suppose you have some, by any chance?’
Cathie thought of how much she’d spent preparing a wonderful Christmas for him, and how it had all been wasted, including the precious goose. ‘I’m afraid I have very little in the way of savings left. Have you been down to the job exchange recently and enquired about retraining?’
Before he could answer, Rona, who’d been sitting silently throughout this discussion, suddenly chipped in. ‘You do have savings, chuck. Quite a stash of money in the bank left to you by our Sally, so why not use that?’
Cathie almost jerked out of her chair with shock. How dare her mother suggest such a thing? ‘That money wasn’t left to me, or by Sally, as you know full well. It’s for Heather, left to her by her father. I have no right to it at all.’
‘Aye, you do, if you’re caring for their child,’ Rona said.
‘I second that,’ Alex agreed, his eyes glinting with interest.
‘Then you’re both wrong. The money is for Heather’s future, not mine. It is being saved for when she grows up and needs a home of her own. Were her parents still with us she would be living with them, in the house that Tony would have bought with the money, and then would have left to her as his heir. I certainly have no intention of stealing it from her.’
‘I think you should look upon it as borrowing, not stealing,’ Alex pointed out. ‘Which, since my parents have refused to help in any way, may well prove to be necessary if you are to give this child a home.’
‘I’m sorry, but it simply isn’t possible.’
‘I see, well then we’ll all have to squeeze in here.’
‘So be it.’ Cathie glanced across at the smirk of satisfaction on her mother’s face. It was plain to see that the last thing Rona wanted was to be left to live alone. She’d have to do all the cooking and cleaning for herself then. But living with her mother would not be easy. ‘We’ll somehow have to cope,’ Cathie said, stifling a sigh of resignation.
‘He must be so keen and very much in love,’ Brenda said, as they sat stitching the gowns together one evening while Cathie told her friends of Alex’s eagerness for them to marry as quickly as possible. They were almost finished and looking quite classy. The bridesmaids’ dresses had been dyed a pretty pale blue, and the bridal gown was in white silk with a short train, each with three-quarter length sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. They were the kind of dresses that could easily be shortened into something more practical after the ceremony. As she smoothed out the gowns to admire them, Cathie was really quite thrilled with how lovely they looked. She still had a veil to make, some sort of headdress, and a posy to buy, but everything was coming along really well.
‘The wedding may well be brought forward, were Alex to find himself a job.’ Cathie made no mention of the slight disagreement she’d had with him about money, which she considered to be strictly private. ‘It’s what he wants.’
Davina made no comment to this news, being even quieter than usual today. Cathie wondered if perhaps the prospect of attending a wedding was upsetting her friend, bearing in mind that she was still grieving for her late husband. ‘Are you all right, Davina? Do let me know if this is all too much for you.’
‘No, I’m fine. It’s just that – actually – I have to go away for a while.’
‘Oh, my goodness, you aren’t going to miss the wedding, are you?’ Brenda asked, sounding slightly annoyed. ‘That would be such a shame after all the work we’ve done preparing for it, not to mention the cost of these lovely dresses.’
‘I’ll be back in good time, I promise.’
‘Where are you off to? Have you found yourself a fella?’
‘No, of course I haven’t.’
‘You aren’t having family problems, are you? I’ve been suffering from those, my brother-in-law claiming he has more right to my late husband’s property than I do, which is probably fair enough. But Jack did want me to have a secure future, which I no longer have despite what it states in his will. It’s a legal nightmare. So what are your problems?’
Giving a dismissive little shrug, Davina turned back to her sewing. ‘It’s just something I have to do.’ As usual, she said nothing more, giving no indication of what this mysterious trip might be about.
Brenda frowned, looking cross, but Cathie was filled with pity for her friend. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. It’s time we had a cuppa,’ she said. Whatever was troubling poor Davina it would be entirely wrong to interrogate her on the subject. Hadn’t she herself suffered enough to appreciate that some problems were entirely personal? Not least the way her mother was behaving.
‘I can’t believe that you’re really going ahead with this marriage. Are you sure it’s the right thing to do?’ Steve asked, feeling a curl of misery unfold within. This was yet another of their charity events, this time running a whist drive in the upstairs room at The Donkey. It had become a vital part of his life, particularly as Cathie was willing to help him and occupied such an even larger place in his heart.
‘Why would it not be? I’ve already told you that we love each other.’
‘Are you absolutely certain about that?’ They’d spent the last half-hour setting out tables and chairs, but as their guests would be arriving any minute, was this the right time to tell Cathie that he’d spotted her fiancé with another girl one night in the Pack Horse? And what would be her reaction? Would it cause her to have second thoughts? Or would she be so furious with him for making such an accusation that she might banish him from her life entirely? Steve didn’t dare to imagine how he would cope if that were to happen. Although how he would live with her being married to that selfish idiot was an even worse prospect. He decided to try another tactic.
‘You’ve seen very little of Alex due to the years he’s spent overseas. Not only that but you’ve been apart quite a bit ever since he returned home. I’m suggesting that you need to allow yourself more time to get to know each other properly again. Marriage is for life, after all.’
‘How depressingly negative you are,’ Cathie said. ‘The war is over and it’s time to be upbeat and think positive.’
‘Maybe I’m just being realistic. Separation can damage and even destroy a relationship, particular during wartime.’
‘Fortunately that hasn’t happened with us,’ she said, snapping down a pack of cards on a table.
Steve gave a puzzled frown. ‘So you have no objection to him accusing you of giving birth to an illegitimate child, despite explaining that Heather is your niece?’
She stopped setting out more packs to glower at him. ‘There was simply a misunderstanding over what Davina had said when she brought Heath
er that day. The poor girl was in a panic and probably didn’t say quite the right thing.’
Stifling a sigh, Steve felt as if he was banging his head against a brick wall. Why wouldn’t she listen to reason? Cathie was far too patient and tolerant for her own good at times. ‘Many people are already beginning to regret hasty marriages that took place at the start of the war, so rushing off to the altar is not necessarily a good idea.’
‘Now you’re beginning to sound like his mother.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to. But relationships have changed so much because of these long separations that there has been an increase in affairs, and in the number of illegitimate children.’ His mind seemed to be in turmoil as he tried to decide how much to tell her. How much should he tell her?
‘Are you suggesting that I have been unfaithful to him? That I’m some sort of slut? How dare you?!’
Steve felt the colour drain from his face. Had he said it all wrong? He hadn’t meant Cathie at all. He’d been trying to broach the subject of Alex’s possible affair without actually naming names. ‘No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m not accusing you of any such thing. But some women left alone at home, believing they might never see their loved one again, are perhaps tempted to turn to another man for comfort. You need to remember that people have been living lonely lives in dangerous times with no certainty of survival. Affairs happen when a couple are driven apart by war. Many servicemen too have sought to satisfy their needs elsewhere, particularly when drafted overseas. Some of them consider it to be a perfectly acceptable thing to do.’
Cathie gave a snort of derision. ‘It may have skipped your attention that most men are happy to remain faithful to the girl they love, and do not engage in affairs.’
‘I don’t deny that is generally the case, but many do stray.’ Maybe he should tell her of the number of rubber sheaths automatically issued to all servicemen to protect them from VD? Somehow it didn’t seem quite an appropriate subject to share with a woman, even though the authorities cared little about them. In their view it was only important that servicemen remained healthy enough to fight.
Home Is Where the Heart Is Page 11
