by Lena North
“You’re not staying in our home?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Was he that stupid?
“Maybe because you fu –”
“I know what I did,” he cut me off. “I said I was sorry, and I thought…”
He trailed off, and I stared at my phone.
Unless I’d slept through his apologies, he had in no way told me he was sorry, and I didn’t want to know what he thought.
“I will be in Chicago a week from now, Stewart. We can talk then about what to do with the house and everything else.”
“What to do abou... You’re leaving me?”
I stared at the phone again as I understood that he’d assumed I would come back to him. The fuckwad.
“I’m not doing this over the phone,” I said tersely. “Have a good evening, Stewart. Goodbye.”
I hung up and stood there in my ugly living room, trying to feel sad for not having any feelings for my husband anymore. At least not any amorous feelings, I corrected myself. The room was spacious, but it was dark, and the door to the big kitchen was narrow. If I opened up that wall I’d have a fantastic layout, I thought. I should talk to Daniel about it, and see if they could add it to my remodel.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down on it reflexively.
“Think about what you’re doing, Angelica. Once it’s over, it’s over.”
I stared at the text message from my husband, and through the silence, I heard the squirrel bark out laughter outside.
Then I raised my head and stared at the wall to the kitchen.
The builders had started on the house, and their tools were neatly piled in the corner of the living room. It felt like ice was pumping through my veins, and my lips pulled apart in a grin which was more a snarl than anything else.
Yes.
Open floor plan.
I grabbed a sledgehammer and started tearing down the wall, and oh my God, it felt good to inflict damage on something. The wall was thicker than I thought, but I kept going, hammering and tearing at the drywall and insulation, and then going to town on the slats beneath it.
“Uh, Angelica,” I heard a deep voice behind me.
“Yeah,” I panted and grinned over my shoulder at Daniel, my neighbor, and contractor.
“You don’t want to do that, there’s a –” he started when I swung the heavy sledgehammer around.
I gave up a loud roar and hit the final two by four. There was a creaking, crackling sound and Dan pulled me backward as a huge claw foot bathtub crashed through the ceiling and landed in front of me.
“… bathroom right above, and…” he said, and pulled me a few more steps backward.
Another creaking sound ensued, and the tub disappeared downward to land somewhere below with a loud bang. I turned slowly to stare at him.
“… there’s a basement below,” he finished.
To his credit, he kept his cool and simply continued to pull me slowly backward, out of my house. Two of his men had been with him, and they all stared at me in silence as we stood on the front porch.
“That was a load bearing wall,” Danny said and looked warily at the house.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“We’ll have to put some supports in there,” the younger of his men said calmly, but added with a wince, “Immediately.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
“That tub is going to be heavy as fu –” the older builder stopped himself and glanced at me, amending his statement. “It will be difficult to get it up again.”
Daniel sighed, and I turned to him.
“I’ve always wanted a spa,” I whispered.
“What?”
“If we leave it there, you could add a sauna,” I went on weakly, and added when they stared at me as if I’d lost my mind, “Maybe a hot tub, or some –”
My voice broke, and Dan reacted immediately.
“Okay, Angelica, let’s just go over to my house for a little while,” he said and steered me with a gentle arm around my back. “Louise will make some coffee and we’ll –”
“Vodka,” I cut him off.
“Huh?”
“Louise promised me vodka.”
Okay,” he said calmly, and I felt how he made some gestures behind my back, likely instructing his men to do something about the mess I’d created.
My mind felt blank, and I couldn’t seem to think. Everything was just plain wrong, and the anger I felt had vanished completely. Maybe it went down into my basement with the tub, I thought and started giggling, but even I could hear that hysteria was bubbling right beneath the surface.
“Shit,” Danny muttered. Our pace increased, and he shouted, “Louie!”
When the pretty blonde woman came rushing through the door, I started crying.
***
“Maybe a facial steamer,” I said with a slight slur, and the two women sitting with me on my neighbor’s back porch started laughing.
Louise had cast one glance at me and turned to her husband.
“I’ll call Beatrice,” he muttered and walked away with a look on his face which could only be described as profound relief.
Several hours later I’d shared every detail of my pathetic life, and they had listened with faces that held no pity but oceans of kindness. They had laughed at my encounter with Shaneesha and her butt paste, scowled at Stewart’s comment about my granny panties and held my hand when I told them about what I’d seen in that conference room. I was completely girl-talked out, and we’d moved on to make stupid jokes about what kind of equipment I would have in my spa.
Louise had given me a vodka-shot while we waited for Beatrice to come, and that took the edge off my hysteria, though when I warned her that I hated hard liquor and would likely puke from the taste, we moved on to wine for them and beer for me. Even without the stronger stuff, I was feeling the effects of the alcohol burn through my system, and it made me feel good.
“Or maybe one of those wax heaters,” I giggled, and added with a small sneer, “Stewart goes to a salon that has them.”
They stared at me with their mouths open.
“The ads say it’ll plump things up,” I giggled.
“What?” Louise squeaked.
She sounded surprised, but there was also a quiver in her voice as if she was holding back laughter. A strangled groan suddenly came from behind me, and I turned slowly.
I wasn’t sure if my vision was blurry but it seemed like the porch was suddenly full of men. Dan was there and next to him stood a broad man with bulging muscles, shaved head, and a neatly trimmed goatee. I recognized him as Beatrice’s husband. The two men working with Dan on my remodel stood behind them, and the young, Hispanic man had a huge grin on his handsome face. Half way up the steps stood a man I hadn’t met before. He was taller than the others, and he wasn’t as handsome as Daniel, or Beatrice’s husband Pat, but there was something about him that caught my attention. His longish, brown hair was streaked with gray, and he had pale gray eyes which seemed to be filled to the brim with laughter. One of his brows was raised and the tips of his mouth quivered with the same joy I saw in his eyes.
When no one said anything, I stupidly decided to fill the silence.
“I bet none of you are using wax?”
I was looking at the men closest to me, but made a sweeping movement with my arm, indicating that I was addressing all of them. The younger man started laughing loudly, although it sounded a bit strangled.
When they didn’t answer my question, which I was sure I knew the answer to anyway, I added with a cheeky grin, “But smooth is good, right?”
“Jesus,” Danny muttered in response, and the man on the porch steps barked out surprised laughter.
Then they turned abruptly and walked off without another word. I heard rowdy laughter when they’d rounded the house, so I turned in surprise to my new friends who stared at me with their mouths open.
; “You did not just say that?” Beatrice breathed.
“What?” I asked.
I had always found the facials Stewart did on a quarterly basis more than a little ridiculous, but he wasn’t the only man in my acquaintance who did them. The women kept staring silently at me, so I added uncertainly, “Stewart says it takes away years of wrinkles, but I’m not so sure…”
“Wrinkles?” Louise echoed, and her face split into a huge grin. “You’re talking about a facial?”
What? Of course I meant a facial, what other kind of wax treatment would there…
Oh. Shit.
We stared at each other for a while and then I whispered, “Please tell me I didn’t just ask your husbands if they wax their genital areas.”
“Can’t tell you that,” Beatrice replied and we started laughing, although the hysteria was back in my voice and I wondered if I ever would be able to face my building crew again.
Chapter Four
Rio
Johnny’s graduation went well, but it was an awkward event, in spite of both Stewart and me trying to act as if nothing was wrong. No one mentioned the fact that we had separated or that I was, at least temporarily, living in Colorado, and we cheered and laughed through both the ceremony and the family dinner that followed.
Stewart’s parents seemed completely oblivious to what was going on, and I wondered if he’d even told them. Having to tell his mother that her precious Stewie-boy had been caught bare-assed wouldn’t be enjoyable, so he probably hadn’t said a word. There were a few times when I could see that my own mother was about to bring it up, but Dad managed to stop her each time. I could tell that Annie wanted to say something about it, but she stopped herself, and just asked quietly if I was okay. I smiled calmly and she gave me a quick hug, whispering that we’d talk later. She was such a good sister, clearly trying to make sure nothing disturbed her brother’s big day.
We all left the next day; Our parents went home, Annie back to the east coast, Johnny to Spain, and I went to Colorado. I’d asked Stewart several times if we shouldn’t go for a drive, or find privacy some other way so we could talk but he refused, saying that it would have to wait and that we should spend the time with our children instead. I thought that was considerate of him, although there was a sulking, defiant look in his eyes which I’d never seen before, and didn’t like.
Maddie flew back to Colorado with me, and I was so happy she did. We’d been close since college, and that had continued through her marriage to Andy. We had gone on family vacations together, and for years we’d had the tradition that the first Friday each month, we dropped the kids off with a sitter and went out to dinner, just the four of us.
Then their marriage fell apart, and we tried for a while to go on separate dinners, me with Maddie and Stewart with Andy, but the men had never been close, so they stopped doing it. Maddie and I stuck with it a few months longer, but she was enjoying her newfound freedom and wanted to go to bars and clubs, which I found disturbing to watch because she was clearly there looking for someone to go home with. It wasn’t that I was a prude or that I begrudged her the pleasure. It was just that to me, she was still half of Maddie and Andy, and when I’d finally adjusted to the changed circumstances, we’d grown apart.
“I’m sorry that it’s still a construction site, Maddie,” I said as we drove through the small town. “Louise said the hotel is great, though, and I promise you can stay with me next time you come.”
I’d booked a room for my friend immediately after she invited herself, knowing well that there was no way she’d be comfortable in my house with its ugly wallpaper and lack of kitchen.
“I would have been fine,” she said, but then she caught sight of the house and closed her mouth with a snap.
It would be fantastic when it was done, but the place looked absolutely awful. I grinned as we rolled up in front of my home, thinking that its current state was even worse than when I saw it myself for the first time. The builders had started scraping off the awful, brown color, there was debris on the lawn, and a few men in coveralls were walking out of it, carrying tools. One of them stopped to light a cigarette, and they laughed at something.
Daniel walked over to greet us as we got out of the car.
“Well, hello there,” Maddie said, and my eyes flew to her.
She sounded husky, and as I watched, she twisted her body subtly, pushing her chest out and tilting her hip as she chatted animatedly about the mountains and the weather.
Was she flirting with my neighbor? My married neighbor?
I felt a blush creep up my cheeks, and made sure introductions were short. Dan didn’t linger, and he seemed more formal than I’d ever seen him before. I realized to my mortification that he was well aware of what she was doing. He was a very handsome man so he would have been hit on before, of course, but I was embarrassed nevertheless. I’d talked about my neighbors on the flight, so Maddie knew he was married.
“Oh my God, what a looker,” she giggled as soon as he’d left and my face heated up even more.
The rest of the crew was well within hearing distance, and she acted as if they weren’t there.
“Stop it, Maddie,” I said quietly. “He’s incredibly nice and so is his wife.”
I put extra emphasis on the last word, and I thought she was about to confirm that she got my message, but then we entered my home. She stopped and stared at the hole in the floor, the poop-colored walls and the space where my kitchen had been. The avocado-colored fridge was the only thing still there, and it looked even worse when it wasn’t surrounded by psychedelic wallpaper.
“Angelica…”
She trailed off, clearly in shock, which was ridiculous because I had described the state of my home in great detail to her.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “Looks awful, but it’ll be fantastic once it’s done, and the crew is doing a great job with it.”
We walked through the house, and I told her what I wanted to do and how it would look when it was done. She had remodeled several houses in the past five years and gave me tons of ideas. Some of them would look ridiculous because it wasn’t and would never be a sleek condo in downtown Chicago, but a few suggestions were excellent, and I was glad she’d decided to come.
The next days she got into my jeans, which were too big, and tank tops, which were too small, due to the augmentation in her chest area she’d made Andy pay for. Then she scraped and hammered with the builders and me. We talked a lot about silly stuff and giggled like young girls. It felt good to bury the anger and hurt I felt, and pretend that nothing was wrong, so I deliberately avoided the topic of Stewart and his infidelities, and she didn’t ask.
Maddie refused another take-out meal for her last night and asked if we couldn’t go to Higher, a bar next to the hotel she stayed in. I had been holed up in my train wreck of a home, so I hadn’t been to there, or to any of the other restaurants. Unless one counted take-away from Wendy’s or Chipotle. I liked the look of the low-key bar on Main Street, though, so I agreed that it would be a good place to spend her last night.
After a burger that was so fantastic I swore to myself I’d eat at Higher every day until I died, jeans size be damned, we moved over to the bar. After a few beers for me, and the same number of gin and tonics for her, she asked about Stewart.
Her face hardened when she heard about my visual of his backside and extracurricular office activities, but I didn’t want to feel that familiar surge of anger again, so I skimmed over the details until I got to the part where I’d made a public announcement in the office about his sexual prowess.
“What a goddamn idiot,” she muttered.
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“A twenty-five-year-old,” she went on, and I blinked slowly, but she didn’t register my surprise and went on, “Half his age, what the hell would she do for him?”
I stared at her and was about to let her know that the age of his paramour was pretty darn irrelevant. I wouldn�
�t have been happier if I’d found him with an old goat, or a young man, although admittedly a lot more surprised.
“Hey there.”
A deep voice interrupted my thoughts and I jerked around. The woman who had kept us supplied with drinks until then was replaced by the man from Louise’s back porch. The man who was one of five I’d asked if they managed their body hair the Brazilian way.
“Yikes,” I squealed but pressed my lips together immediately to prevent more stupidity from slipping out.
“I don’t wax,” he murmured with a lazy grin. “Haven’t had any complaints so far.”
“Um,” I started, and swallowed.
The corners of his eyes crinkled, deepening the lines there in a way that looked really good on him. I hoped the explanation Louise had promised to convey to Dan for further distribution had reached this man, although it didn’t seem like it.
“You never know, it might be an improvement,” I snapped, trying to bluster my way through embarrassment by sounding cheeky and experienced.
I thought I’d pulled it off, which was a feat since I’d never felt even a remote desire to rip out the hair in my nether regions with its roots.
Our eyes held for a few seconds and then he started laughing.
“Don’t worry,” he rumbled. “Danny told me what you were talking about.”
We shared a grin, which for me was mostly from relief, and then Maddie butted in, clearly intrigued by the exchange.
“Wax?”
“Just a misunderstanding,” he evaded smoothly. “I’m Zack.”
“Maddie,” she said, and the smile she gave him was lascivious and communicated clearly her interest in getting to know him better. Biblically.
He gave her a look I couldn’t interpret, turned to me and asked, “You’re called Angelica, right?”
I nodded mutely.
“Don’t look like it,” he said evenly.
