Chapter 21
Nicole
Later the next morning, while the band was at the TV station, Callie and I took a cab from the hotel to the lingerie store she’d been dying to visit. She was glowing the entire way—and it had nothing to do with where we were going, and everything to do with what she and Jared had no doubt been doing last night.
Which was more than I could say about Mason and me. We’d stayed in our own separate rooms. The way it was supposed to be.
Only that wasn’t what I now wanted.
I missed him. I missed sleeping with him, and I missed waking up in his arms. I missed the warm feeling I got when I drifted off to sleep, knowing he was there and would still be there in the morning.
On the drive over, Zack sent his daily text, checking up on me. After the first week of touring I had confessed to him about the fire and how I was working with the band until the store was ready to reopen. Once I told him the guys in the band were nothing more than brothers to me, he had been less freaked out about me doing something completely out of the norm for me. It also helped that we still talked on the phone at least once a week.
How’s my crazy sister doing?
He’d been calling me that ever since finding out what I was doing.
Great. And how’s my jealous brother?
And I’d been calling him that ever since I realized how envious he was that I was the one touring with the band instead of him.
Missing real American pizza.
I laughed. Every day he told me what American food or TV show he missed while he was overseas.
Shopping with friend. Will talk to you later.
The cab dropped Callie and me off in front of the store, and we entered. The upscale store was nothing like the one back home where I usually bought my underwear. The lighting was softer than in your typical store, and the air smelled sweet, like the gentle caress of freshly cut roses. Classical music played in the background. If there was one word to describe the store’s goal for its customers, it would be “romance.” Although from the look of some of the lingerie adorning the mannequins, hot sex also came to mind.
The other difference between this store and the one back home was that I wouldn’t be surprised if a thong cost more than a week’s groceries. Everything was of super-high quality.
“Is there anything I can help you find?” a woman in her late forties asked. She was wearing a business suit with a skirt and heels, her hair wrapped in a chic bun. Definitely not the same as the girls who worked in the lingerie store back home.
“I’m not sure,” I said, and with a surprisingly straight face added, “I’m looking for something sexy that will turn my husband on.” I tucked my left hand—the one without an engagement or wedding ring—behind me. “But nothing sleazy. That’s not my style.”
She gave me a long look, implying that nothing in the store could possibly be called sleazy and that she was seriously considering spraying me with sanitizer for even suggesting anything so vile.
I bit back a giggle and smiled sweetly at her before joining Callie next to a rack of short satin slips.
She pulled out a navy one with ivory antique-style lace along the low neckline and the hem. It was sexy without being overly revealing. “What do you think?” she asked.
“It’s gorgeous,” I said in an awed whisper.
“I think I’ll try it on.” She scanned the store. “But first we need to find something for you.” Before I could say anything, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me to a rack of baby doll nighties not far from where we had been standing.
She immediately pulled out an incredibly sexy and utterly revealing raspberry pink outfit. The panties were nothing more than a string bikini, and the bra was covered with intricate lace. The rest of the outfit was created from a fine mesh that would show off everything beneath it.
It was so not me…yet at the same time it was perfect.
“I can guarantee Mason will love it,” Callie said, still inspecting the baby doll.
“Didn’t realize I was buying it for him to wear. But he might need a larger size.”
“Very funny.” She handed it to me. “You should try it on.”
“You do realize nothing’s going on between him and me, right?” We’d already had this discussion last night, but I felt like it needed to be repeated in case her hot husband had distracted her while he’d been onstage and she hadn’t heard me.
“So you’ve mentioned. You can lie to yourself all you want, Nicole, but you’re in love with him and nothing will change that. Besides, wasn’t the point of you joining the guys on tour that you could be adventurous and do something different?”
I grinned until my face hurt. “And buying sexy lingerie is adventurous?” Okay, maybe the one she had picked out for me was on the adventurous side.
She shook her head. “No, but taking a chance on Mason is. What do you have to lose? You’ve only got a few more weeks left with the band before you’ll be heading home. Live life. You never know when it will be your last chance.” A brief look of pain flashed over her face, but it vanished in a heartbeat. “My sister and parents taught me that the night they died.”
My heart squeezed in on itself, knowing the pain of losing a parent. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“It’s okay. It happened almost five years ago. I’m better now.”
We grabbed a few more items to try on and started heading for the fitting rooms, browsing as we went.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m in love with Mason or not,” I said. “He doesn’t fit the list of what makes a perfect husband.”
“There’s a list?”
I explained the purpose of the list and the criteria I had painstakingly come up with. “And he can’t have any piercings or tattoos,” I added at the end, although the part about tattoos might have come out more mumbled than clearly enunciated.
Callie laughed. “You do realize a lot of professional men have tattoos these days, so you’ve just reduced your list of possibilities by a large amount?”
I guess she was right about that. For all I knew, my last two dates had been heavily tattooed under their dress shirts.
“And based on your criteria, Jared would fail as perfect-husband material, but I can tell you that he’s an amazing husband and father. I wouldn’t change a single thing about him.”
She did have a point there too.
While we were searching through a rack of teddies, Callie’s phone pinged in her hand. “Jared,” she said, smiling softly, reading the text. “He and Mason will meet us in Central Park in an hour for lunch.”
The saleswoman unlocked the fitting rooms. I stepped into mine and changed into the baby doll Callie had found for me. It was sexy as sin and made me look equally sexy. But when on earth would I get a chance to wear it?
A persistent voice in the back of my head told me I deserved something feminine and pretty, especially after spending so much time on the bus with a bunch of men. Not that any of said men would ever see it.
I tried on the other outfits, but none appealed to me the same way the first one had.
Once I was finished changing back into my jeans and sweater, I came out of my room at the same moment Callie stepped out of hers. “So?” she asked.
“I’m getting this one.” I lifted up the raspberry baby-doll outfit.
The way Callie’s face lit up, you’d have thought I had announced that Jared was taking the next year off from touring. “It’s perfect. I guarantee you won’t regret it.”
I just hoped she was right.
Chapter 22
Mason
Jared and I waited at the counter of our favorite New York City deli for our food. It had been his idea for Nicole and Callie to meet us in Central Park for lunch—even if the temperature was chilly. Although I wouldn’t have been too surprised if he had come up with the idea as an excuse to cuddle with his wife some more.
“Having a wife and kid has made you go soft,” I told him with a laugh. “Since
when do you do picnics?”
“My family used to have them all the time when I was growing up. Still do, especially since Logan loves them.”
My parents used to love them too when I was a kid. Back before I was too cool to hang out with them. Back before my family disowned me.
“Anyway, you’re going to thank me for this,” he said.
“How so?”
“You need to make the most of the time you two aren’t on the bus with the rest of us, and this is the perfect way to do that.”
I chuckled, the sound a little forced, as were my next words. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Except I knew exactly what he meant. I’d been living under the delusion that no one, including Nicole and the band, had figured out that I’d been falling for her since day one, even before I realized it myself.
He leveled his gaze at me, as if the answer to my question was so obvious that only an idiot wouldn’t see it. “It means you’re in love with Nicole.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” My gaze darted around the crowded deli, searching for anyone who might have overheard him. I didn’t need to find myself suddenly engaged on the front page of whatever trash some asswipe paparazzi worked for.
“Right,” Jared said, his voice heavy on the skepticism. “When was the last time you hooked up with a groupie?”
I shrugged. “A few weeks.” More like two and a half months.
“My guess is you haven’t screwed around with anyone since before my wedding, with the exception of Nicole. And it’s not just that. Before she joined us, we always had to be on the lookout for you pranking us. You haven’t done anything since she joined us on tour.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m in love with her. It just means I’m tired from all the touring and haven’t had the chance to fuck a groupie.” And it meant I was too distracted by Nicole to even think about pranking the guys.
He raised his hands, palms out. “All right, you’re not in love with her…so why do you keep looking at her like you are?”
“I don’t…” The words faded away at Jared’s I-don’t-buy-it-and-neither-will-the-guys expression.
“So when are you going to tell her how you feel about her?” he asked, apparently not ready to drop the topic of my love life anytime soon.
“I’m not telling her,” I grunted, “because I’m not boyfriend material.”
A couple of teenage girls stepped into the deli, giggling. One glanced in our direction, and her mouth flopped open as she stared at Jared and me.
“How do you know you’re not boyfriend material?” Jared asked, oblivious to the girls. “It’s not like you’ve ever had a girlfriend.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be a boyfriend. I like being single. It’s simpler.” What was the point of having a girlfriend if you had to worry about her walking away because you were always on the road and were never there for her? My music was all I had left after everything else that had happened in the past. It was the only thing that had never turned its back on me.
Jared didn’t say anything for a moment, and I figured he had dropped the topic. But then he spoke again. “It has nothing to do with whether or not you think you’re good enough to be someone’s boyfriend. This has to do with what happened with your family.”
My gaze slid back to the girls still standing near the entrance. All three were now staring at us, prepared to let out a fangirl scream at any second…or maybe implode from seeing us here. Fortunately, they were too far away to hear our conversation.
“It has nothing to do with that,” I grumbled, already regretting that I’d let Jared talk me into this picnic.
“You’re not a gambling addict anymore, Mason,” he said, dropping his voice so that there was no chance of anyone overhearing him. “You haven’t gambled in years. Maybe it’s time you let go of the past and move on with your future. Tell Nicole how you feel about her.”
I snorted a laugh. “When did you develop a pair of ovaries?”
“When did you become such an idiot? Look, I know what I’m talking about. I screwed things up big-time with Callie, in case you’ve forgotten. Don’t make my mistake, and don’t make the same mistake Nolan made. We both nearly lost the women we love. At least learn from our mistakes.”
“Order for Jared,” the blonde at the counter called out, ending our conversation, for which I was thankful.
He was right, though. What was the point of him and Nolan almost fucking things up with the women they loved if I couldn’t at least learn from their mistakes?
But it wasn’t as easy as that. Nicole had said she couldn’t be with an addict. True, I wasn’t an addict anymore, but did she feel the same way if the person was a former addict?
We grabbed the bags with the food in them, and after chatting briefly with the teenagers (who looked ready to faint at any second) we walked to Central Park. After searching for a few minutes, we found a spot on the grass far enough away so no one would disturb us, yet easy for Nicole and Callie to find. He texted Callie with the exact location. Fortunately, while we waited Jared didn’t bring up the topic of Nicole and me again.
But the moment I saw her, I realized he was right. I’d been too afraid to tell her how I felt because I didn’t wish to go through the pain again of what I’d experienced with my family. Plus I had no idea how she felt about me. After I revealed my feelings for her, she might bolt across the park, screaming, unable to get away from me fast enough.
She dropped onto the grass next to me, a couple of bags in her hand. She was wearing the pair of jeans I liked best on her, cowboy boots, and a warm cream-colored jacket with brown buttons down the front. She had recently bought it because of the cooler fall temperatures she now had to deal with on the road. Between that and the light sweater underneath, it didn’t look like she needed me to warm her up anytime soon.
It didn’t take long before Jared and Callie were busy kissing, and I knew from experience they would be occupied for the next few minutes. Suddenly unable to wait another second, I shifted around and my lips were on Nicole’s, our tongues proving how much we both needed this.
I threaded my fingers in her hair, pulling her head back, which allowed me to deepen the kiss. She leaned into me, as if melting at my touch. She tasted and smelled like I’d remembered—like a piece of heaven. A piece of heaven that I wasn’t sure I could walk away from once this was all over.
I removed my lips from hers and rained small kisses along her jaw to her ear. “Are you gonna show me what’s in the bag?” I murmured. Her breath caught in her throat, and it was one of the sexiest sounds I’d ever heard—along with her laugh.
“It’s nothing,” she whispered.
I licked the shell of her ear. She made that sexy sound again, and my dick twitched with interest. “Since when did anything from a lingerie store amount to nothing?” I asked.
I grabbed for the bag, but she jerked it out of my reach at the last second. What she hadn’t counted on was that I had the upper hand when it came to size and strength. Not to mention that my curiosity had spiked, fueling my determination to discover what she had bought while shopping with Callie.
I lunged again for the bag, which she was holding behind her. Giggling, she tried to scramble away, but I was faster and pinned her down with my body.
“I win,” I said, laughing at her adorable pout, and gave her a quick kiss before grabbing the bag from her outstretched arm.
I climbed off her and peered inside the bag. “Doesn’t look like nothing to me.” From what I could tell, it was the opposite of nothing. I just didn’t want to know who the lucky man was who would get to see her in it. The way things were going between us on tour, it wouldn’t be me. That much I was certain of.
Smirking at her, I handed the bag back to her, then removed the food and drinks from the deli bags, placing everything on the blanket Jared and I had picked up after the interview. He and Callie were still in their own world, cuddling and talking in murmurs.
As I watched them,
jealousy struck me in the heart. Not that I was jealous of them—they’d been through so much already that they deserved to be happy.
No, I was jealous of how Jared had put his heart out there, risking it all, to tell Callie how he felt about her. In the end, it had worked out for them, and they were even more in love than they had been back in the spring.
“This all looks amazing,” Nicole said, checking everything out.
I handed her the turkey sandwich I’d ordered for her, figuring that she would love it. Based on the bright smile on her face when she saw it, I’d been right.
Jared gave Callie her sandwich, and we enjoyed ourselves for a while, eating our lunch and catching up on our mornings. The sun shone down on us, as if smiling at our cozy little picnic for four. At one point I slipped my hand under the hem of Nicole’s sweater and stroked my thumb against her lower back, enjoying the feel of her soft skin and wishing it was more than just her back I could touch.
I leaned closer to her, so only she could hear my next words. “I want you in my bed tonight, Nicole.” My voice came out as a husky rumble in my chest, and my breath brushed against her cheek.
She inhaled sharply, the sound a soft gasp. “I want that too, but we shouldn’t—”
“Yes, we should. I can’t take it anymore. I…miss you.”
“I miss you too. Are you sure?”
My thumb paused against her skin. She hadn’t thrown out the that-would-be-unprofessional card, the way I’d half expected. I took it as a positive sign. “I’m sure if you are.”
She gazed up at me, and I could’ve sworn the love I had for her was reflected right back at me. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. I wanted to tell her right then how I felt about her, but now wasn’t the best time for that—not unless I wanted Jared and Callie to witness me being rejected if Nicole didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about her.
“You wanna play soccer?” I asked after we had finished eating. During lunch Nicole had been eyeing the ball we’d brought, the same excited gleam in her eyes as when the band was about to play against the roadies.
I Need You Tonight Page 16
