“Scout Sniper,” Tommy answered, and he still felt proud as fuck whenever he said it.
The Marines were the only ones who didn’t separate the scouts from the snipers. Meaning that they had both reconnaissance and sniper duties in one soldier. The Reconnaissance Marines had been around since the 50s, and they were trained to go behind enemy lines to gather intel, but also take down targets. It was a lot of training, and on top of that, Tommy’d had the weeks in scout sniper training and some other MCI courses he’d done mostly to get into the Scout Snipers. The Marine Scout Sniper School was considered the most elite sniper school on earth, and one of the hardest schools in the Marine Corps.
So, yeah, he was still proud as fuck when he said those words.
“One shot, one kill,” Dig chuckled. It was the Marine Scout Sniper motto. He stuck out his hand, and Tommy took it. “Dig, First Recon.”
“Fucking hell,” Tommy smiled. “A brother. I’m Tommy.”
He liked it, but at the same time he hoped Dig didn’t think they’d sit there and reminiscence. It didn’t seem like it, though, and when Dig simply turned his head to look at the woman dancing in front of them, his respect for the man increased. He wasn’t convinced Dig would agree to the patch over, but so far it didn’t look like he would sabotage any attempts. Besides the first meeting, he’d stayed quiet. Tommy hoped he wouldn’t opt out at a patch-over. He liked guys who weren’t afraid to say their meaning when asked for it. Rollovers rarely saved any lives. People who broke orders might be trouble, but not people who voiced concerns.
Dig nodded towards the girl on the pool table who was being fucked by Wrench by then. “That girl’s got a mouth like a vacuum. I recommend it,” he said before he got up and left.
Tommy took it as an approval, maybe not of the Marauders, but at least of him.
oOo
MEETING DWAYNE HAD BEEN great for Felix, and the day at the zoo had been one of the best days I’d had with Felix in a long time. Obviously both Tommy and Dwayne were to thank for most of it. It was definitely the best time I’d had with Tommy since he’d come back into my life, and it had been a nice opportunity to see him with Felix. I’d been impressed, and Felix had talked about it almost every day since. He was very eager about having an uncle in his life—one that was alive.
In general, any promise Tommy had given Felix, he’d kept. He called him at least once every day, often more than once. He came by to visit any chance he got, and they’d slowly started taking shorter trips just the two of them. One night I’d needed to talk to Tommy, so I’d simply taken the chance while Felix was on the phone with him. When I took the phone, he’d laughed and told me to not worry, he wouldn’t call Felix when he was drunk or at a party. I hadn’t thought for a second that he would, and it felt kind of shitty that he took it as me checking up on him.
He’d proven trustworthy, without even really trying to. To him it was just about taking back the time with Felix I’d stolen from him. He wanted to get to know his son, and he was doing it in a great way. It didn’t seem to me as if he were trying to impress me or convince me about anything, but then Tommy had never really given a shit about what other people thought of him—with the exception of Zach. Besides being allowed to see Felix, he hadn’t made any demands. When there were other things he wanted, like taking him out just the two of them, he okayed it with me or Mom.
In short: I trusted him, and I most definitely trusted him with Felix. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d be there for him no matter what, which was the reason I’d gone to see my parents’ lawyer, Mr. Naylor. I’d never fully understood why Mom always insisted on having a lawyer in whatever town we lived. As far as I knew, we’d never made much use of any of them, but I’d always assumed it was something she’d gotten from her own parents. On the other hand, she could have a whole bunch of legal issues that I wasn’t aware of, even if I doubted it.
“Miss Jensen,” he said when I entered his office. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I have some questions regarding… acknowledgement of paternity, I think it’s called, and custody.”
He looked at me curiously while he put a pad in front of him and picked up a pen. “I see. I assume this has to do with your son…” he searched his memory.
“Felix,” I said to help him. “Yes.”
“How old is he?”
“He’ll be six later this year.”
“Your mother has filled me in on some of the details. His father’s name isn’t on the birth certificate, if I remember correctly,” he said, and he must have noticed my surprise. “I have copies of all your important documents.”
“Oh, okay. No, he’s not.”
“That makes it easier. I mean, it’s easier if you’re not trying to change an existing name. So his father has returned to his life. Is he suing for custody?”
“You misunderstand,” I said with a smile. “His father didn’t know of his existence until recently. I contacted him again, and he’s been very involved in Felix’s life since then. I just want to know how to put his name on the birth certificate, and a custody agreement. One that we’ll both sign in agreement.”
“Ah,” Mr. Naylor said. “Well, that makes it even easier. If you give me ten minutes, I’ll give you a full list of what I’ll need, and we’ll get the ball rolling. Have you talked to the father about this?”
“No. I came here to see what we needed to do. But it’s possible to do it here in Arizona, even if Felix is born in Iowa?”
“Yes. Are you planning on giving him visitation rights or joint custody?”
“I’m… not sure. I thought I’d talk to him about it.”
“Would you fight joint custody?”
“Would that mean Felix has to live half of the time with him and half of the time with me?”
“Not necessarily. There’s joint legal custody, and joint physical custody. The difference is that in the former you basically have the same legal rights, like deciding for things like school or health, and equal access to the child’s records. But the physical custody could still be with just one parent, or mainly with one parent.”
“Okay.”
“Like I said, I’ll give you the basics, and then you’ll talk to the father. Just give me a call and I’ll get the ball rolling.”
*
I didn’t mention where I’d been or what I’d done when I came home. It wasn’t that I was hiding it from my parents, but I thought I should talk to Tommy first.
Felix was waiting for me in his room, already dressed for bed and hooked up to his IV.
“What are we reading today?” I asked. “Think you’re ready for something new?”
“What?” he asked.
“This,” I said and took The Wonderful Wizard of Oz from the shelf. “This was your dad and uncle’s favorite book when they were kids. Grandma used to read it to us. It’s a bit scary, but I think you can take it.”
“It’s long,” he said with big eyes.
“Yes, so we won’t read the whole book today. It’ll be like watching a TV series, but a book, with one episode a day. Think you’ll be okay with that?”
“Yeah.”
I lay down next to him and opened the book. “Ready?” I asked, and Felix nodded. “Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with Uncle Henry, who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer’s wife.”
*
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling a slight anxiety, and at first I wasn’t sure why. Then I knew. Felix was moaning in his sleep, and that had never been a good sign.
“Hey, little guy,” I said as I walked towards his bed. “What’s wrong?”
“It hurts,” he mumbled. “No hospital.”
“Honey, you know I can’t promise you that, and you know why we have to go to the hospital sometimes.” I leaned over and gave him a kiss. “I’m calling Dr. Gardner, and I’ll get you something for the pain.”
He nodded, and when I saw tears in his eyes, my heart broke.
I didn’t know if the tears were for the pain or because he knew he’d spend some time at the hospital again, but I assumed it was a combination.
“Call Daddy.”
“Of course I will.”
I called Dr. Gardner first, and he promised to come immediately. After waking up Mom and Dad, I called Tommy, but he didn’t pick up. A few attempts later, I remembered that he’d been back just the evening before, and I guessed he was sleeping off a week of drinking and… other things, so I sent him a text.
CHAPTER EIGHT
How I Cope
oOo
WHEN TOMMY WOKE UP he still felt like he’d gone through a stamp mill—his entire body was hurting. The last week he’d spent almost four full days on the bike plus three days with fucking and drinking, and he could feel it. Once they got back, he’d stumbled into his room and fallen asleep fully clothed, with a vague hope he’d feel better when he woke up. He didn’t.
A look at the alarm clock didn’t help him with what the time was because he couldn’t see the fucking hands, so he tried to find his phone while rubbing his eyes. It took him a while to realize that the uncomfortable thing against his hip was the phone.
When he finally managed to focus his sight, he noticed that it was just eight in the morning, and that he had six missed calls and one text from Billie.
‘I’m not sure when you’re coming home, but we’re at Phoenix Children’s Hospital. Please call me.”
He was almost shaking when he pressed ‘dial.’
“Tommy?” she answered the phone, so she’d been waiting for him to call, and he liked it. Liked that she wanted him to know.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s either a cyst hemorrhaging, infected cysts, or kidney stones. They’re trying to find out.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Call Mom when you get here. She’ll meet you at the reception desk.”
He hung up and concluded that he needed a shower. He reeked, and he didn’t want to stumble into a children’s hospital still smelling of multiple days of drinking, fucking, and riding. So, he took a one-minute shower, found some almost clean clothes, and then he was out the door from his room.
Bull was already up and drinking coffee by the bar.
“Something’s up with Felix,” Tommy explained. “I’m heading to the hospital.”
“Brother, you need a fucking coffee before you hit the traffic.” Bull poured him a cup and slid it over the bar. “Take two minutes to pour that down your throat.”
Tommy hesitated, but he knew Bull wouldn’t have any problem with simply wrestling him to the ground and force-feeding him the coffee, so he took the cup and drank it as quickly as possible.
“What hospital?” Bull asked.
“Phoenix Children’s Hospital.”
“Let us know how he’s doing and if we can visit.”
“Okay.” He put the empty cup on the bar. “I’ll call you.”
Before Bull even had time to answer, he was on his way out the door. He couldn’t remember much from the ride, but managed to remember to call Leah when he arrived. No one would let him leave the waiting area or would tell him anything before Leah came, and she handed him a badge.
“You need to have this on you at all times,” she said. “All visitors are required to.”
“How is he?”
“Not great. We just found out it’s an infection in the cysts. It’s tough to treat. He’ll be here for a few days, at least.”
“Shit.”
“I’ll take you to him, and then I’ll get you a cup of coffee. It looks like you need one.”
“Rough week,” he admitted as they started walking.
He didn’t bother telling her that he’d already had a cup of coffee, and he was sure he needed another one anyway. Leah opened the door to a room, and he saw Billie next to the bed Felix was sleeping in. He might’ve had a rough week, but she looked a lot worse than he felt.
“Hey,” he said, and she looked up at him with impossibly tired eyes. “Think you need some coffee.”
“I’ve had three cups in the last hour.”
Her normally hoarse voice was raspy. Zach had also had a hoarse voice, and they’d inherited it from Leah. Clyde had more of a deep baritone basically made for barking out orders.
He pulled up a chair next to hers and sat down.
“Get some sleep,” he tried. “I’ll be here, and I’ll wake you up.”
“There’s no use,” Clyde said from the other side of the bed. “We’ve tried.”
“You should listen to Tommy,” Leah still tried while she handed him a cup of coffee in a paper cup. The look Billie gave her was positively murderous. “Or you could just sit there until you fall over—not like it would be the first time.”
Billie’d just opened her mouth, but snapped it shut when Felix stirred in his bed. His little face crumbled, and he started crying.
“Mommy.”
“I’m here, little guy. We’re all here.”
Tommy leaned over next to her, and he’d never in his entire fucking life felt so helpless. He had no idea what to do.
“Hurts.”
“I’ll find someone who can give you something. Okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.” She looked at Tommy. “Daddy’ll stay here with you.”
“Daddy?” Felix said, and at the same time Billie stood up.
“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, Champ.”
It was Brick who’d started calling Felix ‘Champ,’ and Felix liked it so much Tommy had started, too. He took his little hand and remembered something Dwayne had done with him when he was a kid. When he was six, he’d had his appendix removed and had been in hospital for a few days. Dwayne had been with him the entire time, since their father had been deployed somewhere, and their mother… wasn’t.
“Squeeze my hand really hard to show me how much it hurts,” he said.
“Go with her to make sure she doesn’t punch a nurse again,” Leah said to Clyde with a nod towards the door Billie’d just left through.
“Did your mom hit a nurse?” he asked Felix.
The little guy tried to smile, but it was twisted in pain.
“Yes,” Felix groaned. “Mommy can box.”
“I know,” Tommy said with a smile. “It was me and Zach who taught her. Some guys at school were mean to your mom, so we taught her how to hit back. She liked it and started boxing at a club.”
It wasn’t so much the hitting people that Billie’d liked. She’d just liked how tough the training was, and the balance between cardio and strength.
When Felix’s face crumbled again, Tommy stopped talking, but Felix shook his head.
“Tell me more about Mom, you, and Uncle Zach.”
Tommy realized that Felix was possibly the one person he’d talked to most about Zach about since he’d died, but he liked it. It felt like he was preserving Zach for the next generation.
“Has she told you about the time when we threw her into a lake?” he asked. Felix closed his eyes and was squeezing Tommy’s hand really hard, but he managed to shake his head. “She always followed me and Zach around, and we were going to meet some girls, so we didn’t want her to come with us. But you know how stubborn she is, and to force her to go home, we threw her into a lake. We thought the wet clothes would make her turn back and leave us alone.”
“Did it?” Felix whispered.
“No.” It was Billie answering, and she had a nurse with her. The nurse gave him a nod before she walked around the bed to the IV pole next to Felix’s bed. Billie sat down on the chair next to Tommy’s and put a hand on Felix’s knee. “I followed them anyway. Uncle Zach was so pissed.”
“I was pretty pissed, too,” Tommy said with a laugh.
Billie’d been thirteen at the time, and when she’d climbed out of the lake with her soaking wet t-shirt clinging to her chest, it was the first time Tommy’d noticed that she was starting to grow breasts. That had been quite a shock to him, it was almost like it w
as the first time he’d realized she was a girl, but it didn’t stop him from being furious at her for ruining their secret dates. As it turned out, it hadn’t mattered much, since it was his date that night who’d popped his cherry—even if he was a bit uncertain about when she’d done it.
He looked at Billie and gave her a smile, but she didn’t take her eyes off Felix for long enough to notice. She looked more dead than alive, and he was starting to wonder if she or Felix would pass out first. He was going to make damn sure she got some sleep.
Not long after the nurse had pushed the drug into his IV, Felix visibly relaxed, and his grip on Tommy’s hand loosened.
“Get some sleep, Champ,” he mumbled and gave Felix’s cheek a kiss.
“You’re staying?”
“I’m staying. I promise.”
“Mommy’s reading Wizard of Oz to me. She said it was your favorite,” Felix mumbled, almost already sleeping. “Is it true?”
“Does your mommy ever lie?”
“No,” Felix smiled. “She brought it with her.”
“Good. I’ll help her read it.”
He was strangely touched by Billie reading it to Felix, and it was true. He’d loved the book when he was a kid, and Leah had read it to Zach and him several times. When Billie was older, she’d listened too, but her favorite had been Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was possibly the only book he’d ever read cover to cover, and ‘To the Emerald City’ had been something both he and Zach had said often, along with comments about winged monkeys and silver shoes—because they were silver, not ruby, in the book.
oOo
WHEN FELIX RELAXED, SO did I. I was even more relieved when he fell back asleep; he needed sleep. Unfortunately, that meant my adrenaline stopped pumping, and I felt exactly how tired I was myself. I hadn’t had many hours of sleep before Felix had woken me up. I looked at Mom and Dad, and they looked more dead than alive, too.
Resonance (Marauders #4) Page 9
