“I’m just saying, you need to make sure they are trained. If I’m to trust my grandson and daughter with these people, I need to know that they know basic training.”
“I doubt they’ll let you train them.”
“I wasn’t going to offer that. I know they won’t, and I’d end up shooting the lazy, half-alcoholic assholes, and you’d be down two thirds of your club. I’m just saying you need to prepare them.”
“I’ll try,” he said, but judging from Clyde’s disapproving face, that wasn’t enough. “I’ll make sure. But I have trained them. They did good when…”
“Best not get into details, but I’m guessing you’re referring to when you stumbled over Eliza,” Clyde said and reached for the teapot. Clyde used to be a coffee maniac, but obviously Leah’s attempts to get him to drink tea instead had had effect. “What’s the official version of that?”
“Someone dumped her on our lot,” Tommy said.
Sometimes it was best to just keep it simple, so that was what they’d said to the cops and staff at the hospital. They’d all played stupid when the cops started asking questions, but on the other hand they hadn’t pushed. They knew none of the Marauders would talk anyway, and if Niu had told the truth, there weren’t any traces left in the warehouse where they’d found Eliza.
“Simple enough.” Clyde held up the teapot. “Tea?”
“No, thank you,” Tommy answered, and then stared at Clyde when he folded open the paper and started reading. “That’s it? I was expecting more ball busting.”
“We’ve already had that talk, Tommy. I think I made my point clear at the time. You’ve warned us, I trust you’ll take every measurement possible to ensure their safety. After all, it’s your kid on the line, too. I expect you to keep me informed about risks. You might be younger than me, but I will beat the shit outta you if I find out you’ve hidden a risk from me. Keep in mind, my army is bigger than yours.”
Clyde might’ve retired, but there was no doubt in Tommy’s mind that Clyde could gather an army to fight for him anyway. He’d never had him as commander, but over the years he’d met people who had, and they all respected Clyde. Clyde was one of those guys who was popular with his men, but not equally popular higher up in the chain. He’d gotten surprisingly far up the chain for someone like him.
“I’ll keep that in mind, sir,” Tommy smiled. He didn’t even bother with telling Clyde he needed to keep his mouth shut about things. Clyde knew that and was capable of it.
Tommy looked at Leah, and it dawned on him that he hadn’t asked her how she was doing.
“Leah—” he started, but that was all he had time to say.
“I’m fine, Tommy,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Billie’s upstairs, Felix is already in bed. You should check in on them.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
He got up and gave Leah’s cheek a kiss before hugging Clyde.
Billie was in Felix’s room, and she smiled when he entered, patting the couch next to her.
“I’m not a dog,” he whispered with as smile, and still sat down right where she’d patted the cushion. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“How much did all this freak you out?” he asked. He’d been wanting to ask it since the very beginning, but he’d been scared to hear the answer.
“I’d lie if I said it didn’t frighten me, or that I’m not worried, but I think I can deal.”
He leaned closer and gave her a kiss. “I never asked, did you find a house?”
“No,” she laughed. “I kind of liked the last one we were in, but it would feel… icky to buy it after what happened.”
“Yeah, don’t think that’s a good idea,” he agreed and put his arms around her. “We’ll find something.”
“Come on, let him sleep,” Billie said and stood up. “Don’t know about you, but I could do with a shower.”
He knew what that meant, they’d shower together, and he could sure as shit need some TLC from his woman in the form of naked shower time.
oOo
“SHOOTER,” BRICK SAID WITH a tired smile when he saw me in the hallway outside Eliza’s room.
“Hi. I know she’s probably not up for visitors, but I thought you or Mel might need something,” I said and gave him a hug. “I know you probably have a lot of people—”
“I appreciate it,” he interrupted me. “I know you came to show your support, and I appreciate it.”
We sat down on two chairs in the hallway, in the middle of everything, but it seemed like Brick just needed to sit down for a while. He took a deep breath and smoothed out his moustache.
“She… They did some surgery, and… I don’t know. She was so scared, and they had to sedate her again. She’s awake sometimes, but she’s not there. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah. I know what you mean.”
“She’s not angry at me.”
“Good. She’ll need you, so it’s good that she’s not.”
I took Brick’s hand, and he looked slightly surprised at the gesture, but then he relaxed. I would’ve wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but it would most likely just make him angry. I’d seen the same with my dad, too. Men like Brick and my dad took their role as the head of the family seriously. What happened to their family was on them. I understood why Brick probably felt more guilty, since it was his actions, the life he led, that had caused what happened to Eliza.
I wasn’t surprised about her not being angry, though. It would surprise me if she were able to feel anything, yet. All those feelings would come, every single one, and they’d wash over her like the ocean, drown her in emotions, but it would probably be a while until that happened.
“Can I ask you something?” he said.
“Sure.”
“What do I do? How do I… How can I be there for her?”
“I don’t know, Brick. Everyone deals with this differently, but I do think you need to get her professional help. I know guys like you don’t believe in it, and you’re probably worried what she’d say—”
“I don’t give a fuck about that,” he said and shook his head. “I don’t.”
“Good.”
He took a deep breath. “You work with this, don’t you? I think Tommy said something about it.”
“I work as a receptionist,” I answered with a smile. “But I guess you could say that I do. I’ll do what I can, but I’m not a professional. I can give you names, though.”
“Thanks. And… thanks for what you did for Mel. As fucked up and shitty as this is, it would’ve been so much worse if it was her, too.”
“Mel’s a pistol,” I said with a smile. “I tried to send her upstairs, but she refused. And according to Mom, she did some impressive work with her Taser.”
Brick laughed. “Yeah, she’s a pistol.”
“You know, they have Tasers in pink. She’d like one of those.”
“I’ll get her one.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Did you come here to see Eliza?”
“I’ll see Eliza when she’s ready for it. No point in making her feel like she’s in a freak show. I came here to see you or Mel.”
That earned me another kiss. “I need to get back in there.”
“Yeah, just let me know if there’s anything I can do. Whatever it is.”
I watched Brick as he got up, walked over to the door, and took a deep breath with closed eyes before he opened the door. I knew that feeling, bracing yourself before going into a room, and I felt for him. But he seemed to change his mind, and slowly closed the door again and turned towards me. He seemed to make up his mind about something, and came back and sat down next to me again.
“I’d trust you with her,” he said. “If she’s with you, I’d know she was safe.”
“I’m not a professional. There’s… a lot to keep in mind.”
“She’ll need friends, too,” he pressed. “And you know more than I do about this. I have no fucking idea what to…” he sighed. �
�She’s gonna hate me eventually, isn’t she? It’s my fault, and she’s smart enough to understand that.”
“There’s no way of knowing, but I think she’s smart enough to know where to lay the blame.” I hesitated, but then I said it. “All dads blame themselves when their daughters are hurt, at least the good ones. My dad thought it was his fault because he’d raised me to love the military, to strive for it. He sent me into the environment where I was hurt.”
“It’s not the same,” Brick dismissed me.
“It’s not that far off. At least not as far as you think. Every choice we make impacts the ones around us as well as ourselves. But events in your life are results of other people’s decisions, too. The only thing you can do is… your best.” I took Brick’s hand again, and this time he just squeezed it. “I’ll do what I can, but give her time. Let her be a mess for a while, she’ll need that, too. She needs to do damage control before she starts sorting the mess out.”
“She seems numb,” he mumbled. “It’s like she can’t feel anything.”
I was glad he’d noticed, it would help if he understood her.
“It’ll come,” I said.
“I’m not gonna like it when it does, will I?” he said with a tired smile.
“No. It’s gonna hurt like hell, tear you apart.”
“Thanks,” he said, and it wasn’t sarcastic. It was honest. “For not sugarcoating it.”
“You strike me as a guy who prefers to be as prepared as possible. And I think you can take it. You love her. I’m not gonna tell you that it’s all that matters, but it’ll get you pretty far. I’ll do what I can.”
Brick nodded and stood up again. “All I ask. Thanks, Shooter.”
*
It was strange to go from the hospital and to work. Really strange. I dealt with people who’d been raped every time I was there, hordes of them, but going from Brick and to work made it even more… not real, it was always real, but… direct or maybe palpable. It was present to me in a way it usually wasn’t. I really hoped it didn’t mean that I usually was detached, but I was starting to suspect that might be the case. I guessed everything became blasé if you were exposed to it often enough.
Towards the end of day it became really real when a young woman, she might just barely have passed twenty, walked into the center. Besides being young, there wasn’t anything about her that reminded me of Eliza, the girl was Asian, but she still did. She looked around as if she expected someone to jump her. I remembered that feeling.
I directed her to the right room, and then I sat back down heavily on my office chair. She was so young, and she’d probably joined the military feeling excited, and now she was at a fucking rape center. It wasn’t fair.
“One of those days?” Helen asked with a smile. I hadn’t noticed her, so she startled me.
“Shit! Didn’t see you there. Um, yeah. One of those days.”
“The last group has started, I think they’ll be fine, so you can leave if you want to.”
“Thanks. I’m just gonna…” I pointed towards my shelf full of binders. “A friend’s daughter has been… raped.” It was surprisingly hard to say it. “I thought I’d get them some names.”
“Not all of our contacts takes civilians, but I’ll make a list for you tomorrow,” Helena said. “And I’m sorry. Young?”
“Seventeen,” I answered.
“Not sure how many of them that take minors, either. I might have a few other names, though. I worked at Women’s Shelter before. I’ll see what I can find.”
“I don’t think there’s any hurry. She’s still in the hospital.”
Helena nodded. “Go home, Billie. Hug your kid and make love to your man. It looks like you need it.”
I did as she’d suggested.
*
The next morning when I woke up, Tommy wasn’t in bed, and once I got down to the kitchen, it was empty, too.
I found Tommy and Felix in the gazebo on the swing, Felix on Tommy’s lap. When I’d left them the day before, they’d been in the garage working on Tommy’s bike, and Felix had barely noticed when I said goodbye.
I sat down next to Tommy and gave them each a kiss.
“How are my boys doing?” I asked, and when Felix gave me an angry eye, I laughed. “Not like that, little man. Just a general ‘how are you doing.’”
“We’re fine,” Tommy answered. “Come on, Champ, you’re gonna have to get used to us asking even if we know you’re fine. It’s the polite thing to do.”
Felix climbed over to my lap. “Can I start school this fall?”
“Yeah. Guess we have to find a house before then so when know what school you’ll start at.”
“I wanna go to the same school as Travis. Do you think I could?”
“I think we can arrange that,” Tommy answered. “Anything you want in the house?”
“A big yard, and a swing like this one.” He looked at me. “What do you want?”
“A room for working out,” I answered. “Daddy?”
“I want a big garage,” Tommy smiled.
“Think we got it down, then,” I said. “We should be able to find a house like that one. If it doesn’t have a swing, we’ll add one.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Just Like That
oOo
IT DIDN’T TAKE MORE than a month to find a house, and two months later we were in the middle of moving in. In all honesty, it was Mom who’d found it. The sellers wanted a quick deal, since they were moving abroad. It wasn’t until we’d bought the house that we realized we didn’t actually have much to put in it, which had led to shopping trips from hell with Mom. Tommy had some basic things in his apartment, we got some really nice stuff from other members, too, but there was still a lot we had to buy. I had learned to hate IKEA with a passion.
It was at least livable, and even pretty nice.
One of the big perks with the house was that it was in the right area for Felix to go to the same school as Travis, and school was starting just a few weeks later. Which also meant we lived close by Dawg and Edie, really close by. So close that Felix and Travis kept running back and forth between our houses. I’d soon found out that Edie wasn’t much of a cook, so I often had both Travis and Jacob over for dinner. It didn’t take more than a week for Dawg to start showing up, too. I didn’t mind. Initially, I felt bad for Edie’s sake, but then I realized she was aware of her shortcomings in the kitchen.
The day before, Brick had left a box of things for the kitchen, and at the same time he’d asked me if I could come by and talk to Eliza. She spent most of her time in her room, and she avoided talking to people. The shrinks weren’t making any difference, since she wasn’t talking to them, either. Brick seemed to think I had some magic fix just because I’d been raped, but I knew those didn’t exist, and there was no way in hell I’d make Eliza think that was the case. It took work, a lot of work, and it was tough. I didn’t mind helping her if I could, though, so I’d gone to see her.
And she was a mess—a real mess. She looked more dead than alive, and the stark difference between the girl she was now and the girl I remembered from before was heartbreaking. The one who smiled like the universe had kissed her.
She didn’t want to talk, though, she’d wanted to learn how to use a gun, and I hadn’t seen a problem in that. She’d wanted to be able defend herself, and just the fact that she felt like she still had something to defend was encouraging. There was still fighting in her.
“Can we do this again?” she asked on our way back from the shooting range.
“Whenever you want,” I said. “Or we could just decide that we do it once a week, every Thursday, and stick to that.”
It would be too easy for her to not call and ask for it, so setting up a set day of the week meant she had to actively skip it rather than to just not call me. I’d been in her shoes; I knew how to work around lethargy.
“So?” Brick asked as soon as Eliza was up the stairs. “Where were you?”
&n
bsp; “Shooting range. She wanted to learn how to use a gun.”
He stared at me. “She didn’t talk?”
“She talked, but not about what you think. Listen, there’s no way to hurry this along. I got her out of her room, she wants to learn to defend herself, and that’s a good thing. One step at a time.”
“Okay,” Brick said after a few seconds of thought.
“How are you doing?” I asked.
“Why the fuck does that matter?” he snapped.
“It matters, Brick. You’re no help to anyone if you’re a mess yourself.” I gave him a hug. “She’ll get there. It’s going to take time, but she’ll get there. Stay close by while giving her a lot of room at the same time. Let her fall, just make sure to help her up—know what I’m saying?”
He nodded.
“And remember, this is her fight. You can help her, but you can’t fight for her.”
“You’re just full of wisdom,” he mumbled with a huff.
“Yeah. I grew up among clichés. Sometimes they say what needs to be said. I’ll do what I can, too. If nothing else, she’ll be a mean shot by the time I’m done with her.”
*
When I came home—or the house I was learning to call ‘home’—I found Tommy sorting his movies into the new bookshelves from IKEA. He’d been in the middle of building them when I left, and he’d been in a shitty mood, but he seemed better now.
“Where’s Felix?” I asked, after giving him a kiss.
“At Dawg’s.”
“You know you’re going to have to get the guest bed built by tomorrow, right?”
Dwayne was coming to visit us. He wanted to see the new house and spend some time with Felix. He’d thought it best to come before Felix started school so they could get some quality time just the two of them, while Tommy and I were at work. I’d agreed, but mostly because I knew I’d have to learn to trust others than my Mom or Dad to be able to take care of Felix. He was going to school, and starting with Dwayne seemed like a good way to give it a try. Or rather to get used to it.
Resonance (Marauders #4) Page 30
