by Zoey Parker
“And you love it, don’t you? Admit it.” She put a hand on my arm, one full of gentle understanding. The same understanding was written all over her face. “Honey, and I’m saying this as nicely as I can, if you’re drawn to men like that, maybe there’s just part of you that likes a powerful man.”
“Yes, but what if that powerful man hurts me?” Tears welled in my eyes, which I quickly brushed away in case Isabella wandered in.
“That’s the difference. Powerful men, strong men, real men? They don’t hurt women. This first man of yours, your ex, he sounds like a piece of shit. Not,” she added, holding up a hand when I looked surprised, “that he told me anything specific. He didn’t. He left your privacy.”
“Thank you for that,” I murmured.
“But the little he told me made my blood boil. You poor thing. No wonder it’s hard for you to trust. See, the man you married only pretended to be strong. He was really weak. Parker? He’s strong all the way through. He wouldn’t treat you that way. I believe that with all my heart.”
“You know him pretty well, then, huh?” I pulled out the wine, figuring we might as well have a glass together since she knew so much about me already. I found glasses in the cabinet, while Candace uncorked.
“Sure. I’ve known him since he was a kid. I had just started going with Ryder, my husband. Parker had just joined. He didn’t have an easy life growing up.”
“Yes, he told me about that—a little, anyway,” I said.
“So you see a kid like that and you think, he could go one of two ways. Either he’s the type who’s gonna hate women for the rest of his life because of the way his mother was, or he’s gonna be a good person who wants to protect women since he saw it wasn’t her fault she turned out that way.” Candace smiled like a proud mother. “Guess which one he is?”
“You say it wasn’t her fault?”
Candace shook her head. “Honey, I’ve never done drugs myself, but I’ve seen what they can do. They’ll take a perfectly smart, normal person with a good head on their shoulders and a good future and turn them into a monster. Like a person you wouldn’t even recognize if you passed them on the street. It’s a sin. And that person can’t be held accountable for their actions. Everything they do is about their addiction. I know she must have loved him—she never hurt him, never beat him, or so he tells me.”
“It didn’t sound that way when he talked about her,” I agreed. I took a sip of the cold, crisp wine, so glad for a little break from the insanity of the day.
“She was hooked, plain and simple. Poor woman. And he sees that, you know? He never held it against her. That’s how I know he has a good heart. He wouldn’t hurt you. If anything, he thinks about his mother when he thinks about you. The way men hurt her, I mean. It’s a real shame.”
“It is,” I mused. What had happened to me was probably nothing compared to what Parker’s mother went through. Pimps and johns and drug dealers—who knew what she had seen and heard and been forced to do?
Candace made quick work of the wine, then brushed her hands together with a satisfied smile. “Well, my job here is done. You and your girl have actual food, not a bunch of macaroni and cheese and Pop Tarts.”
I laughed. “I do like mac and cheese, though.”
“We got you some. Just not the ten boxes Parker wanted.”
I laughed, walking out to the living room with Candace. Mom’s face had an expression I didn’t think I’ve ever seen before. Like she couldn’t believe the way life turned out—sitting there, watching a muscle-bound biker going through her granddaughter’s coloring book. It was surreal, to be sure, but Mom’s expression added a level of humor.
“I guess I’d better go,” Candace said, smiling down at Isabella. “I’m glad I got to meet you, little girl. Your mama loves you very much.”
“I love her, too.” Isabella beamed. “Do you wanna color with us?”
“Oh, that is tempting,” Candace said, eyeing Parker with a grin that said more than words could, “but I have to leave. I have some things to take care of. You have fun, though. Make sure Parker stays inside the lines.” I could hear her laughter as she walked down the hall, away from the apartment.
Mom surprised me by standing. “I should go, too.”
“But, Grandma, the movie’s not over yet!” Isabella pouted.
“I know, but I have things to do at home. I’ve been here a long time.” She gestured for me to meet her in the hall, but turned before she left. “I’m glad to meet you, Parker.”
“Likewise,” he said, his face hiding whatever went on beneath it.
“I mean, I’m glad you’re here.”
Parker looked a little warmer after she said it. He smiled, nodding, then went back to Isabella’s book.
I closed the door behind me when I stepped outside.
“She adores him,” Mom said, shrugging. “What else can I say?”
“She really does, doesn’t she? There’s no accounting for what a child will think,” I said, shrugging.
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Adore him?”
“I wouldn’t go nearly that far, Mom.”
She shrugged again. “Okay. I’m just making sure. I want you to take care of yourself. Guard yourself. I don’t want to see you get hurt. That’s all I care about.”
“Thank you.” I gave her a hug, then watched as she left. Just before walking through the main door, she turned back.
“Something to remember,” she said. “Isabella adored Connor, too.”
Chapter 19
Parker
Every day, I told myself I could only stay one more night with Ellie and Isabella.
Every night, when I held her in my arms after we had sex, I told myself it had to be the last time.
Six days passed that way. By Sunday night, I could hardly remember a time when I didn’t live in the tiny apartment. We still kept up the whole “Parker’s sleeping on the couch” thing for Isabella’s sake, but the minute she went to bed, all bets were off. Usually, I could hardly wait for the bedroom door to close before my hands were all over her.
On Sunday, things felt different. I couldn’t figure it out. It might have been the end of the week, the way I’d spent over a full week with her. We were looking at another Monday, another week with no answers. Connor hadn’t shown his face even once. No phone calls, no texts. They had stopped, too, almost right after I decided to stay. It was strange, like he knew more than he should have. Was he watching her all along? Did he know I was there? Was he afraid of me? If that was true, he was right about something for the first time in his miserable life. He should have been afraid.
“I’ve made a decision,” Ellie said, sitting down next to me. Isabella had just finished with her bath and was watching her thirty minutes of TV for the night. It hadn’t been easy, spending the week with a kid whose mother decided to stop letting her watch so much TV. I had gone out to get every board game for her age level that I could find, plus a bunch of puzzles and books. If she weren’t occupied, I might have gone nuts—even if she was a good kid.
“What did you decide?” I asked. She looked serious.
“I have to go back to work tomorrow.”
I waited for her to keep talking, but she seemed to think that was all I needed to hear.
“What will you do with Isabella?” I asked.
“She can stay with Mom. I already asked, and she was fine with it. I wouldn’t feel right leaving her with you for that long a stretch of time. Not that I don’t trust you, I just don’t think it would be fair to you.”
Hell, it wasn’t like I told her to leave the kid with me. What was the first thing I asked? What she would do with the kid. That told a story, right there—I liked her, but I wasn’t trying to babysit alone.
“What shift?”
“I usually worked the day shift whenever I could, since that was when Isabella went to school. Now, I’ll take whatever I can get. I called Jimmy earlier and he sounded real
ly happy about me coming back.”
“I bet. You’re a good waitress. You kept my guys in line, and that’s not easy.”
“No, you kept them in line,” she said with a smile. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that either, because I haven’t. You made sure they didn’t intimidate me that night. I liked you from that minute, I think.”
“You had a funny way of showing it.” I smirked, then saw how serious she was. She meant it. “Uh, you’re welcome,” I said, feeling embarrassed.
“So I have to go in for the three-to-ten shift tomorrow. It’s the most money on a Monday, so I’m happy about that.”
“I’m happy for you, then,” I said. “One condition, though.”
“What’s that?”
“You let me drive you to and from. I don’t want you going alone.”
“I don’t exactly ride a motorcycle,” she said, grinning. “Not in that waitress uniform, especially.”
“I could drive your car. I always wanted to drive a Lexus.” I winked.
“Yes, that would work. I don’t see why not.” I was glad she didn’t put up a fight. She sounded relieved, in fact.
She’s probably scared to death, I thought. “Great. I’m glad you feel like you can do that—I mean, like he’s not a threat. I think he forgot all about it,” I said. “Seriously. He disappeared. He got bored. Something else got his attention and he went after that.”
“Yeah,” Ellie said. She sounded about as confident as I felt. The fact was, neither of us knew what was going on in his brain, and I hated it. I wanted to know everything that made him tick, but I hadn’t gotten anything good from Mason either.
“I have to make a phone call,” I said, standing up. “I’ll go to the bedroom.”
“Oh, sure.” She didn’t ask why, or who I was calling. That was for the best.
After I shut the door, I called Mason. “Tell me you found something about Connor,” I said instead of saying hello.
He sighed. “Nothing yet—nothing worthwhile, anyway. I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I’ve talked to a few people, who talked to more people, and everybody says the same thing about him: he’s a whiz kid when it comes to investments. His clients adore him. They love how successful their portfolios are.”
“So I was on the right track,” I said. For a guy who barely graduated high school, I wasn’t too stupid.
“Hang on,” Mason said. “I know you don’t wanna hear this, but just because he’s everybody’s favorite doesn’t mean he’s up to anything illegal. I mean, he might be that good. He just might be.”
“Yeah, and he might be a dishonest piece of shit,” I said. “I can’t believe somebody like him would be honest. I can’t.”
“I don’t think you’re wrong, but I think we’ve gotta be smart.” He paused. “What do you wanna do with this information once I find it, if I find anything?”
“Tip off the cops. Tip off the news. I don’t care. Somebody’s gotta know.”
“If he’s really doing something illegal.”
“Yeah, if.” I hated that word. I didn’t wanna use that word. All I could do was believe I was right. I had to be right. He wasn’t a good person, and he sure as hell wasn’t honest. He had to be cutting corners or skimming off the top—something I could catch him in.
“You find out anything else?” I asked. “Women he’s seeing, maybe?”
“Yeah, he was dating this country club chick for a while,” Mason said. “They were in a newspaper article together, in a picture from some charity event. Something for the hospital. She’s gorgeous, of course. Rich. I guess he likes that. But I never found anything else about her. She doesn’t even have a Facebook page.”
“Of course,” I said. “Why would we get a break?”
“What difference would it make if I knew anything about her?” he asked.
“We might tail her. Find out if he’s hitting her, too. Maybe, between the two of them, we could get him locked up.”
“You’re stretching right now,” Mason warned.
“Listen, I can’t kill the fucker, or Ellie will know I did it, and she’ll never fucking forgive me. He’s still her daughter’s father. So I’ve gotta come up with a way to get him. Besides, you know if I touch him, they’ll throw my ass in jail, and then who’s gonna protect her?”
“If she means that much to you, any of us would,” Mason said. “I mean it, brother. We’re all behind you.”
“Thanks.” There was nothing else to say, so I asked Mason to keep looking around for me. Then I had another thought. “Hey. What’s going on tomorrow night, club-wise? Any runs? Meetings?”
“Wouldn’t you know if there were?” he asked. He had a point, and I hated him for bringing it up like that. I hadn’t been paying any attention to the club except for the hour to two I visited the clubhouse every day, just to keep myself caught up. Other than that, the focus they used to take up in my life had changed. I had something else to care about for the first time since Kelly died. How had I kept things in balance then? I didn’t want to think I had ignored her or neglected her. She was always so busy, too, with school and her residency. It was easy to spend all my time with the club. She never needed me the way Ellie did. “Yeah, you’re right, I guess,” I said. “I just wanted to be sure.”
“What’s up?”
“I want a watch put on the diner tomorrow night. I don’t want her to know about it, though. She’s working again, and she hasn’t in weeks. She has the three-to-ten shift. I’ll pick her up, so tell whoever it is to leave around nine forty-five. That way she won’t see them when she walks out. She’ll have my balls in a sling if she finds out I had somebody watching her.”
“Fair enough. I’ll get Pete or Benny on it.”
“Whatever. Just make sure they hang back so they don’t scare the customers,” I said. “She needs to make tips, you know.”
Mason laughed. “I’ll make a note of that.”
“Thanks, brother.” I hung up, throwing the phone down on the bed. He might put together a security detail but otherwise wasn’t any help to me. I didn’t know what I expected. Major evidence, I guessed. Something to make it all neat and organized. Something I could take to the cops and wave in their stupid faces. For once, the guy on the right side of the law was the one breaking it.
Ellie came in. “Everything all right? I could hear you from the living room.”
“Did you hear what I said?” I asked.
“No, just your voice. You know how it is, when you can hear somebody talking but can’t make out their words.”
“Oh.” That was a relief. I didn’t want her knowing anything. “It was just some club shit with Mason. No big deal.” I leaned back on the bed, propping myself up on my elbows. “Isabella in bed?”
She nodded, grinning. “And the living room’s all cleaned up, and the kitchen’s clean, and all is well.” She stepped all the way into the room, shutting the door behind her. “It’s just you and me.”
“The way I’ve wanted it all day,” I grinned, twitching in my jeans at the way she chewed her lip. She would never know how sexy she was.
***
Later, I told myself the same thing I kept saying every night. That had to be the last time.
It was so good. Too good. I didn’t want to give her up once I had her. She was mine. I just didn’t know what do to about it.
“You okay?” she asked, her head on my chest.
“Yeah. More than okay. Couldn’t you tell?” We both laughed softly, not wanting to wake up the kid. “I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to keep it down, though. My voice, I mean. I was never exactly quiet during sex.”
“Doesn’t that sorta make it a little more fun, though?” She looked up at me. “Like, two naughty kids who don’t want to get caught.”
“Oh my God. Do you think about it that way when we’re doing it?”
“No, no.” I would have bet anything she was blushing, though. I didn’t believe her, anyway.
“Sure
you don’t. All women think about something else when they’re in bed with a man.”
“That’s not true at all,” she said. “I’ve never thought about anything else but you…and not getting caught by my daughter, of course. You think you know so much about women, but I bet there’s a lot you have no idea about.”
“Oh really? Like what?” I couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say.
“Like when you look at us like we’re beautiful even when we feel ugly? That means a lot. When I wake up in the morning, and my hair is a mess, and I don’t have any makeup on, and I’m ratty old sweatpants, you look at me like I’m beautiful.”
