by Zoey Parker
So what did I want as an adult? I thought it over, staring out the window of the car. For starters, I wanted to be away from Connor for good. I wanted our lives completely separated. I would always have Isabella, and she would always be his biological daughter, but that was as far as I wanted it to go.
Otherwise, a house. I wanted a home for my child. I wanted her to grow up happy, well-adjusted. I wanted her to have good friends, good opportunities. I wanted her to be strong, to know she didn’t have to get married right out of college. That men who love women don’t hit them or hurt them with words or actions. That there was a difference between fighting and abuse. I used to think we were just fighting in the beginning when Connor would accuse me of talking to other men or tell me I dressed too provocatively and should cover myself. I wanted to teach my daughter that that kind of behavior from a man was never, ever acceptable and to have more respect for herself than to let a man tell her what to do.
I wanted to teach her all that and more.
What about me, though? What did I want for me?
I wanted Parker. Plain and simple.
Funny how emergencies tended to make everything so clear. I was unsure of him only hours earlier, at the diner. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him, or if he wanted me. I wouldn’t let myself care too much for him unless I knew he was in it for the long haul. Sitting in the back seat of Connor’s Lexus, remembering the way he stood in front of me to protect me, I knew he was the man for me. Even if he didn’t want to be, that was fine. But I would no longer try to fool myself into believing I didn’t care for him. It wasn’t fair to lie to myself like that. I had to admit what I wanted.
It didn’t matter, though. It seemed like the longer Connor drove, the farther he drove us from any chance of being free. The farther away from Flagstaff, the farther from life in general. I had the feeling that as soon as he grew tired of us, tired of living on the run—because that’s what we would surely do, since the police would eventually come after us—he would either leave us to die in the desert or kill us outright. I knew him too well to think it would turn out for the best.
I wanted to weep. Hell, I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to reach up to the front seat and take control of the wheel. I wanted to cut the wheel and drive us into a ditch, hopefully killing the two of us. If he was going to kill me anyway, I would take him out with me.
I wished I could, but wishing meant nothing. I couldn’t put Isabella in harm’s way. I would have to play nice for her, if not for me.
“Isabella? Have you ever seen the desert?”
“You know she hasn’t,” I murmured when Isabella didn’t answer.
“She can speak for herself, can’t she?”
“She’s scared, Connor. You scared her back there.”
“That wasn’t my fault, pumpkin. That was Mommy’s fault.” Isabella’s arms tightened around my neck. I knew she didn’t believe him, but hated him for trying to play mind games with her. And that was exactly what life would have been life had I stayed with him, I realized. He would have played mind games with her, warping her little brain until she believed what he said. Either that or she would have lived her life torn between the two of us—pretending to believe and love her father because she was terrified of him, but going to me for protection against him. I knew I made the right choice by leaving…even if we ended up with him in the end.
“Don’t worry, baby. Don’t worry.” I rocked her, whispering softly.
“Stop telling her things about me back there,” he snapped.
“I’m not, Connor. I was trying to keep her calm.” My voice was much calmer than I felt inside. I wouldn’t escalate things, and I wouldn’t add to Isabella’s stress. “I was soothing her, the way parents do for their children.”
“I see, and I wouldn’t know anything about that, would I? Because you took her away from me.”
“I’m not trying to have this argument with you right now. If you want to be her father, and be a good father, you have to learn what should and shouldn’t be said in front of her. She doesn’t need to hear it.”
He huffed and puffed, his hands tightening around the steering wheel. I wondered if I had finally pushed him too far, to the point where he would hurt me. Or Isabella. Or both.
Then he breathed deeply, letting out a heavy sigh. “You’re right. I wasn’t playing nice. I’m sorry, Izzy. I’m sorry. Daddy didn’t mean to make you upset.”
I looked down at her, and she had a sort of glazed look in her eye. I wondered if she hadn’t gone into a state of shock, something to help compensate for the fear she felt.
“It’s okay,” she said. Her voice sounded like that of a robot—flat, toneless. Had she gone away? I held her as tight as I could, rocking her again, a single tear dropping from my eyes onto her head.
She looked up at me and winked, the little smarty. I could have laughed with joy. Instead, I bit my lip and winked back. We were in it together, she told me. She was the one keeping me together, making me hold on tight to what little sanity I had left. I should have been doing that for her, but she did it for me. She reminded me of the good that had come out of my marriage.
Chapter 28
Parker
I couldn’t get to her fast enough.
Ryder pulled up beside me, motioning for me to slow down a little. I knew what he meant—we couldn’t risk the cops pulling us over. Then it would have all been for nothing. I would have to say goodbye to her. I couldn’t do that.
I looked down at the speedometer, and my eyes widened in surprise when I saw it reading ninety miles per hour. I dialed it back a little, but it felt like I was crawling. I couldn’t crawl. I had to get to her.
It was the most frustrating feeling I could imagine, riding down a mostly deserted stretch of road, trying to catch up with the man who kidnapped my woman. She was my woman, the same as Kelly had been. She would always be mine. And he took her from me.
It was a struggle not to speed up again. I couldn’t help it. I needed to. We followed the signs to the Petrified Forest National Park. I wondered if there would be anyone else there. Did he want to be in public with her so nobody would dare come after her? Then again, as far as he knew, I was good as dead. He told his guys to take care of me. Oh, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on them. I would find a way to make him tell me who they were and where they could be found, and I would take my guys with me when I went after them. They would find out that when you fucked with a member of the Inferno Hunters, you didn’t leave him as good as dead. You’d better make sure you killed him.
We got off the main road, turning down a smaller road which led to the park. There were only around twenty miles between us and it. Had he gotten them there already? We had been riding for hours, but I was sure we’d gone faster than he would have dared drive. He was crazy, but he wasn’t stupid. It was just as bad an idea for him to get stopped by the cops as it was for us, no matter if he thought he was right to take them or what.
There was nobody anywhere around us, though. Uncertainty wasn’t something I was used to feeling, but I felt a shit ton of it as I rode farther into the desert. The road was flat, even, and as far as the horizon I couldn’t see a single car. Maybe we were wrong, or the neighbor was wrong. Maybe Connor had changed his mind. Maybe we had wasted a ton of time for no reason, and Ellie was even farther away than I thought, in another direction. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I could have screamed, I was so confused and frustrated.
Then, just as I was about to give up, a shape shimmered on the horizon. I looked at Ryder, who rode beside me, and pointed. He looked carefully, then nodded. I wasn’t imagining it. There was a car, maybe a mile or two in front of us.
I put on the speed, not caring about getting caught. Let the cops follow me to the car, I didn’t care. All I knew was I had to catch them. The closer I got, the clearer it was that it was Connor’s car. I wanted to scream, celebrate. But it wasn’t time for that yet. I had to make sure Ellie and Isabella were safe first.
How woul
d I do that? As I closed the gap between us, I realized I didn’t have much of a plan. It was one thing to go off half-cocked and chase them, but there was nothing in my head when it came to how to stop him. He had them, he had a car, he might still have a gun. I didn’t see why he wouldn’t. I had a gun, but I didn’t want to hurt either of the girls. What could I do? Whatever it was, I had to decide fast.
I was within a few hundred feet of the car by the time Connor noticed me. I could tell he did because he sped up, kicking up a cloud of dust on the otherwise empty road. I didn’t know how far behind me the other guys were, but I couldn’t afford to wonder. I had to catch him, and I would do it alone if I needed to.
I saw the back of Ellie’s head. She sat in the back, probably with the kid, on the passenger side. I couldn’t fire right into the car without taking the chance of hitting her, and even if I didn’t hit her, Connor would crash the car. I looked down at my speedometer. We were going around seventy miles an hour. No way I could risk that, even if they were buckled in.
Ellie looked back, and her eyes went wide when she saw me. I waved my hand at her, then moved it down. Get down, I thought. Get down. She got my message, ducking behind the seat.
I sped up, pulling around to the passenger side of the car. I bashed in the front window.
“What the fuck?” Connor screamed, the car swerving back and forth. I wove to dodge him, making sure he didn’t take me out when he fought to get control of the car. He sped up, leaving me in the dust. Great. It was bad enough when we were doing seventy. I sped up, too, catching up easily. He couldn’t beat me, though he could try.
“Stay away!” I saw a flash of metal and knew he still had a gun. He pointed it at me. I veered, trying to get out of his line of sight. We went back and forth like that for a while, with Connor splitting his attention between me and the road. My heart was in my throat, afraid he was going to hit me, afraid he would crash. I only hoped Ellie and Isabella were strapped in.
“Get down!” I screamed when it looked like Ellie was about to get up. I couldn’t let her in the line of fire. She didn’t listen—instead, she reached over the seat to take the gun from Connor. They struggled, the muzzle of the gun waving back and forth. I ducked, dodged, afraid he’d end up shooting me. The car wove back and forth, kicking up dust and sand every time it hit the side of the road. I heard screaming coming from inside. A little girl. No kid should have to see something like that. It made me hate him more than ever.
Finally, Ellie got a hold of the gun. Connor straightened the car out. I followed, catching up again. There was only one thing I could do, and I held my breath and prayed for the first time in my whole life that I would make it.
“Stay down!” I glanced in the back seat, where Ellie covered Isabella with her body. Connor looked at me, a snarl on his face. I had to do it. I couldn’t let him drive off with them.
I got as close to the car as I could…then I let go of my handlebars and gripped the window frame, holding onto Connor’s car. He tried to weave, tried to cut the wheel so I’d have to let go. I didn’t. I let go of my bike instead, throwing myself into the car. My lower legs hung out, but most of me was inside. The pain in my ribs was intense, but I couldn’t think about it.
“Stop the car!” I screamed. I worked my way in, my left arm around the back of the passenger seat, and reached into my pocket for the gun with my right. “Now! Pull over!”
“No way! You’re crazy!” Connor looked terrified for the first time, really terrified.
I put the gun to his head. “How do you like it, fucker? Huh? How’s it feel?” I could have killed him right there and not thought twice about it. I didn’t care what happened to me, if he crashed the car and I went through the windshield. I didn’t care, because it would mean killing him after what he did to me. Or what he had his friends do. People like him didn’t deserve to live. My finger tightened on the trigger.
“Please, Parker, don’t.”
It wasn’t just me anymore. I looked back at Ellie, who hovered over Isabella. They were both buckled in at least. I nodded at her. I couldn’t do it with them in the car. Especially not the kid.
“I’m gonna give you one more chance, Connor. Pull over and stop the car, now.”
“You can’t make me! She has you so pussy-whipped, it’s pathetic. You’ll do anything she wants.”
That was it. I aimed the gun, looked at Ellie, and shot Connor through the left leg.
“Oh fuck!” He shrieked, and drove off the road. I held onto the back of my seat and tried like hell to keep myself from flying out the windshield. After what felt like forever, he stopped.
“You shot me!” he screamed over and over. “You shot me!” His leg was bleeding, but it wasn’t like I had never seen anything that bad before.
“Are you okay?” I looked at Ellie and Isabella. They nodded. “Get the hell outta here. Run.” I didn’t have to tell Ellie again. She unbuckled Isabella and herself, then grabbed the kid and ran.
“It’s just you and me, now,” I said. Connor whimpered. I unbuckled him and got out, walking around the car with the gun trained on him. I opened the driver’s side door, and he grabbed hold of the steering wheel to keep me from pulling him out of the car. I pulled, but he was a strong son of a bitch. At first, it was funny, listening to him whine and scream. I got tired of it, though, and drove the muzzle of the gun into his leg wound.
“Ow!” he screeched, but it got him to let go of the wheel. I pulled him the rest of the way out and flung him to the ground. He tried to crawl away, the coward.
“Get back here,” I said, shooting the ground just to his left. He flinched, but stopped. I walked to him, pulling him up by the shoulder until he was on his knees.
“So. How’s it feel?” I put the gun to his temple, the way he did to me. “How does it feel, knowing I could pull this trigger at any second? How do you feel about that? This is what you did to me, isn’t it?”
“Y-yes! I’m sorry!” He wept like a woman. I knew I shouldn’t, but I loved having fun with him.
“Tell me again,” I said, pressing harder.
“Wh-what? Tell you what?”
“How sorry you are. Isn’t that what you used to make Ellie say whenever she did something you didn’t like? That she was sorry for it? Huh?”
“Y-yes, I d-did. I’m sorry about that, too. I’m sorry for everything! Please let me go.”
“You threatened to kill your own kid,” I snarled. I pulled his head back by his hair, until he looked up at me. “You threatened to kill your kid in front of her. What the fuck is wrong with you? How sick to you have to be?” I put the gun against his throat, under his chin. He gulped, shaking. I thought he might have pissed his pants.
“I didn’t mean it! She knew I didn’t mean it!”
“She didn’t know that.” I clenched my jaw, wanting to blow his brains out. Wanting that satisfaction. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, as much as I wanted to. God, did I want to.
But Ellie was there. Somewhere. She would always know what I did. So would Isabella. I couldn’t look the kid in the eye again if she knew I killed her father.
“Fuck!” I screamed with rage, then held him still as I pistol whipped him. Then I punched him, hard, probably fucking up the way the doctor set his nose. I didn’t care. I wished I could do more, but I didn’t dare do it. Not if I wanted to be with Ellie. “I swear to God, I will fucking kill you if you ever come near them again. Either of them. Don’t ever touch them. Don’t let either of them see you or hear your voice. I swear I’ll do it next time. Nobody gets a second warning from me. You hear what I’m saying?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.” He wept, his one eye already swelling shut where I’d punched it.
“The only reason I’m letting you live right now is because so many people already know I went after you.” I bent low, whispering in his ear as my backup finally caught up with us, along with Ellie and Isabella. “Next time, nobody will know. It’ll be just between us. And I’ll leave you some
where they’ll never, ever find you.”
“I understand, I swear,” he blubbered. “I’ll leave the country. They’ll never see or hear from me again. I’ll never go near either of them.”
“I won’t forget about you,” I whispered, then shoved him to the sand. He wept, curled up in a ball. I left him for my guys to take care of. I didn’t want to see him again.
