by Cindy Jones
"I thought you went to London this morning," I said.
"I never got away." Bets stuffed potato crisps into her mouth. "Magda caught me and made me sit in the Freezer all afternoon, repeating lines." She offered me some crisps.
"No thanks," I said. "Let's work on your lines."
"No thanks," she said.
"For your own good," I said, removing my shoes and setting them inside my closet, where her clothes lay on the floor. "Did you wear this?" I asked, holding up a pink and white striped T-shirt, thinking it clean, not meant for the dirty clothes hamper.
"Put it back on the floor," she said. "You're not my mother." She increased the TV volume, adding, "I want to go home."
When I returned from the bathroom, the prisoner remained on the premises; a wadded tissue lay on the floor near her bed. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"No," she said, her eyes red and her nose stuffy the way it gets from crying. "I'm allergic to literary festivals."
"Would you like to study lines now?" I asked. Perhaps I should offer her more understanding; even punked-out kleptomaniacs have feelings.
"No." She blew her nose.
She watched her TV and I read her script, working on the lines myself, although it hardly seemed worthwhile given the heightened security. The prisoner remained on the premises and I studied her lines until I fell asleep in the blue haze of the TV.
* * *
When I woke the next morning, it was still dark. I slowly surfaced, remembering where I was, placing myself in the day—opening day. And then it all came back to me: Bets. My prisoner. I looked over. Her bed was made. She wasn't in it. Cautiously hopeful she hadn't just gone to the bathroom, I walked down the hall. Not there, either. With great swelling hope and trepidation, I looked out the window. Her car was gone.
Yes.
Seven
Quickly, I opened the closet and counted Bets's gowns. All seven costumes hung there. All six Regency shoes waited on the floor. How much time did I have? I pulled the script out of my purse but threw it down; the first objective was to get permission from someone other than Magda. Vera. I must find Vera. My hands shook pulling my door shut behind me.
I ran down the still hallway, descended the stairs, and entered the common area of the dorm, strangely quiet after having been so highly charged with energy the last few days. The first scene of the season would begin in less than one hour and Vera sat at a little table talking with Claire, the staff person. I didn't have time for Claire, who was squinting with the effort of persuading Vera, emphasizing her words by chopping the side of her hand on the table.
"Yes, I see your point." Vera shook her head gently, then smiled at me. "But I'm not convinced of the strength of the connection. In experience and temperament they were quite unalike. Jane Austen was a satiric novelist; Mary Wollstonecraft was not." My Jane Austen listened thoughtfully.
"But," Claire said, "to get back to my original point, perhaps losing the lease on Newton Priors would be a good thing. With a new sponsor, Nigel would be freed from Lady Weston's brain-dead shackles and Literature Live could make a real go of things."
"Vera, could I speak with you?" I said.
"Just a minute, Lily." Vera faced Claire, speaking quietly. "Nigel must have complete control of the organization if we are to preserve the relationship with Lady Weston." Claire began to speak but Vera cut her off. "Save political interpretations for your next job. Nigel will run Literature Live without readings from Mary Wollstonecraft. If you want to help, be quiet and let Nigel work. Lady Weston's happiness is extremely important to the future of this organization. We cannot afford a misstep." Vera looked at her watch. "Speaking of go, it's time," she said, and then glanced at me. "What is it, Lily?"
* * *
As soon as Claire was out of range I told Vera about my wish to take Bets's part.
"You'll have to act quickly," Vera said as we hurried to my room. "Believe it or not," she said, "Magda is on the roof of Newton Priors at the moment."
"The roof?"
"John Owen has persuaded everyone the chimney is on the verge of collapse and Magda is meeting the building inspector on the roof, asking him not to shut down the house before the opening. Your best chance is to get permission from Archie while Magda is still on the roof."
Vera helped me slip one of Bets's dresses over my head, our hands running into each other and catching in folds, my pulse racing.
"What was all that about Mary Wollstonecraft?" I asked, standing as Vera zipped.
"Nothing more than Claire demonstrating she's read her latest assignment in Lit 403. She's taking classes, you know. Wants to be Magda when she grows up."
Still, I wondered what the point had been; perhaps I should read Claire's assignments.
"Ah," Vera said, "it fits you perfectly." She fluffed the sleeves. I skipped on the Regency underwear, opting for my own, and grabbed a pair of knee-high stockings out of Bets's drawer, remembering her generous offer to help myself to anything of hers—her opening day acting assignment, for example. The Banks Family Grant must have been colossal.
"Where's your bonnet?" Vera asked, finishing my sash.
We grabbed Bets's bonnet and flew down the hall and out the door, the dress rustling between my legs. "The script," I said, as Vera handed it through the window of the carriage, the old horses attracting flies. Too late to walk, I would have to pay the carriage, a private local business operated separately from Literature Live, to transport me to Newton Priors.
"When you get there, sit in the Freezer and calm yourself," Vera said, handing the driver my fare. "You'll be fine, don't worry."
"Aren't you coming?" I asked, afraid to go without her.
"I'll be over in a bit—with Nigel."
A surprisingly long line of patrons waiting in line with tickets watched me rush off, fingers pointing, speaking to each other in French and Japanese. I looked out the window; this was my first journey into a novel, as my carriage traveled through space and time. I looked at my eighteenth-century shoes peeking from beneath my muslin hem, and tried to believe. I looked at the trees and sky framed by my carriage window and tried to believe. I remembered how it felt to read Mansfield Park and I tried to feel myself traveling among characters in Jane Austen's world. But something gnawed at the edges that I never thought about when I pictured this moment. The trees and the sky and my shoes refused to stop being real; they wouldn't transform. Everything about me was the same as always, and I couldn't feel any different, too worried to leave my worldly concerns. I didn't know the blocking. Where was I supposed to stand on the stage? Indeed, I feared failure and pain today. Just like real life.
* * *
"Have you seen Archie?" I asked an actor in the Freezer.
"Probably in his smoking jacket," Alex said, without looking up from his crossword puzzle. "Look behind the Carriage House."
I ran, but a family of five blocked my path: a blond Texas Hair woman holding a map, followed by a man and three rambunctious children, progressed in a tangle of limbs and barks like naughty puppies.
"Excuse me," the hair woman flagged me down.
I turned my upper body to answer her question, still speed-walking, imagining Magda had sent her to keep me from talking to Archie in her absence, hired them to load me into their monster SUV and take me back to my gray cubicle world of colossal freeway billboards and Nike swoosh sensibilities; a place where My Jane Austen would not thrive.
"Can you tell me where to find the candle-making demonstration?" she asked.
Patrons detoured around us, camera bags slung over their shoulders, maps and guidebooks open in their hands. A Muslim woman wearing a severely modest black outfit, pants and an overdress, strutted—not a bit oppressed—alongside her man in Western dress. I must focus or Archie would disappear before I could find him. I didn't have a chance if he was with Magda. Shading my eyes, I looked up and saw the group still huddled around the chimney, but who knew how much longer they'd stay up there?
"The can
dle-making demonstration is over there," I said, a bit heavy on the plums. Ovah theh.
"Ovah theh?" The woman looked at her map, and then in the direction I pointed, as if she didn't understand. I ran toward the Carriage House.
Two enormous old mares parked outside swished flies with their tails. The dirty Carriage House windows concealed a graveyard for broken antiques: tables on end, chairs without upholstery, bed frames and slats, stacked in all directions. No room for horses or carriages in the Carriage House. And no Archie. Walking around the side of the building, I encountered a well-worn path through the high hedge. I followed the path, squeezing sideways through the bushes, and suddenly found myself looking into the sheepish grin on Archie Porter's face, one arm stretching to reach a ledge high above his head.
"You smoke?" he asked, lowering his arm and shaking out a cigarette in one practiced motion.
I started to say no reflexively, and then considered my case. "Actually, yes, please."
As Archie shook out another cigarette from a pack of Camels, not even the filtered kind, I began to hope I would get what I wanted. Putting it to my lips, he lit a match. "Getting on okay?" he asked.
"Swimmingly," I said, returning the long look, examining the crow's feet around his eyes and the gray in his ponytail. I imagined I was smoking with John while Yoko met lawyers. I'd never seen him so relaxed. "Where's Magda?" I asked innocently.
"Patching the roof." He smiled as if we knew each other. "One of an assistant director's many and varied festival responsibilities."
"Well then. Since she's busy, I'll ask you." Just one puff had made me dizzy; I couldn't inhale these things. The smoke sat on me, lodging in the pores of my skin, permeating hair follicles.
"Ask me." Archie blew dragon smoke out his nostrils as the American children from the lawn barged into our hiding place, giggled, and ran out. The little girl loudly reported what she'd seen.
I said, "You may not be aware that Bets—the actress playing Mary Crawford—is not here."
"No, she is not here." Archie smiled, lifting a branch of one of the bushes that concealed us, nearly brushing My Jane Austen's skirt.
"No, I mean, not in Hedingham. Not at Newton Priors. She's in London."
He took another long drag. "I see. You were supposed to keep track of her?"
"Yes." I looked him in the eye.
"A case of Magda putting the fox in charge of the hen-house."
"I'd like to take her part in the scene today."
He gave me an extra long sideways glance. "Who else knows about this?"
I took a short but dramatic drag, sensing what I once sensed when Martin was about to kiss me. "Does anyone else need to know?" I asked, smoke curling around my face.
Archie pulled on his cigarette, his eyes closing. "Nobody I know of needs to know about anything."
I threw my cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. "Then we're all set."
"You know the part?" he asked.
"Yes," I said.
I had turned, just about to leave the enclosure, when Archie said, "You know what?"
"What?" I twisted to see his face and braced myself.
"You worry too much."
"Me?"
"Relax." He pulled a package of nicotine gum out of his pocket and punched one through the wrapper, slipping it into his mouth. "Want one?" he asked.
"No." The last time I relaxed around a professor, his hand visited my thigh beneath a table.
"Don't be so worried," Archie said. "Fanny Price is safe."
* * *
In the Freezer, I sat at the table among empty Diet Coke cans; the vacant computer screen stared at me as I read Mary Crawford's lines, "Oh! Yes, I am not at all ashamed of it. I would have everybody marry if they can do it properly," when Archie, who had just returned, his spearmint breath proclaiming his innocence, lifted the script from my hands and turned the page.
"We're skipping the second scene today," he said. "Start here."
I resumed my studies, struggling to focus, but couldn't get traction because people kept opening the door and I kept looking up, afraid Magda would walk in. Each person whispered to Archie and I tried to hear what they were saying. I wondered about checking my e-mail but Archie rattled a box of antique keys, to my complete undoing. He left the box next to me where I was free to examine keys, of every shape and size, at my peril. My pulse raced. Little time remained until the scene with the children would end, and even that was running out. My script lay open while I studied the jumble of rusty skeleton keys, wondering which key Lady Weston had used to lock the manor in 1945. This felt more like exam day than literary transcendence.
Just as I finally got traction with the script, the junior cast, three girls and two boys who played the children in the first scene, arrived noisily, congratulating each other on their performances. Their adult chaperone beamed at Archie, "Weren't they wonderful?" Archie pointed at me and shushed the kids. But they couldn't shush. I gave up the script and pulled the computer's keyboard out, typing my e-mail password and clicking "check mail." The connection seemed slow. The children giggled and the mother took one boy to a separate seat. Karen's name stood out from the spam; her subject line read: "Please call." I clicked on the subject; something must have happened. Was it Dad or her children? The page was so slow to come up. The mother raised her voice and the children squealed. The door opened again.
To: Lillian Berry [email protected]
Sent: June 13, 6:03 A.M.
From: Karen Adams [email protected]
Subject: Please call
Lily,
I don't have a phone number to reach you and we need to talk. I was planning to wait till you return but Greg thinks you should know. I found something that leads me to believe Dad knew Sue before Mom died. Before you fall apart, please call me so we can talk about it. It's not the end of the world.
If I'm not home, call my cell.
I'm sorry and I miss you,
Karen
Archie called my name. I turned and looked at him but I couldn't understand what he wanted, Karen's words reverberating like thunder through my skeleton. Sabrina Howard in full Regency costume—the lead actress who was playing Fanny Price—beckoned me. Time for my execution.
"Mary." Sabrina reached for my hand. "Come with me," she said. "Everyone is waiting." Archie waved us out the door and I left the Freezer for my rebirth into Mansfield Park, passing the tall case clock, its sharp points radiating from its face as mighty storm clouds gathered in my spirit.
Sabrina smiled as we walked, linking our elbows; maybe we could be friends, supporting each other through personal crises. "I'm Lily," I whispered, not sure she knew my real name. Sabrina's face changed channels. She shook her head once, and clicked her tongue; Mary Crawford had never been Lily a day in her life.
We walked through the entrance hall where portraits of stern men in gilt frames testified to their part in siring the Weston line, while the women who'd borne their tiresome infidelities watched bravely from their own elaborate frames. A smaller butler-type hall led actors to the ballroom where the performance was about to begin.
The door through which I would soon enter was cracked open enough to see the audience, people who paid actual money to watch me sort through my personal shock while reciting Mary Crawford's lines. The stage might as well have been an operating room where they perform amputations. The front row hosted an aging fan club decked out in full cleavage-busting Regency costume, their plumage and fans blocking the view of those seated behind them. Olive-skinned women dressed in saris, veils, and a variety of robes and head coverings made Magda's scarf look like something Katharine Hepburn would wear in a convertible. A portly man with a camera around his neck leaned back and nudged his wife to look at the medallion in the ceiling. Perhaps it would fall and kill all of us. Oddly, Vera and Nigel were not in the audience.
Sabrina took my hand and led me to the stage to perform the scene where, while touring the chapel at Mr. Rushworth's estate, M
ary Crawford makes snarky comments about clergymen before learning that Edmund plans to be ordained. If I followed Sabrina, we'd make it through the scene. I knew I was safe during the long part where Sabrina, as Fanny, expresses her disappointment over the chapel to Edmund.
"This is not my idea of a chapel," Sabrina said. "There is nothing awful here, nothing melancholy, nothing grand."
A streak of lightning flashed behind my eyelids, followed by a bone-rattling crash of thunder. My father knew Sue before my mother died. Sabrina bumped into me as if I stood in her place. I moved without any idea where to go. How did Karen know?
"No banners to be blown by the night wind of Heaven," Sabrina continued. "No signs that a Scottish monarch sleeps below." Sabrina gestured to the same chair whose outward scrolling arms supported Sir Thomas in the previous scene.
Mrs. Rushworth said her line: "Morning and evening prayers were always read by the domestic chaplain," she said. "But the late Mr. Rushworth discontinued the service."
"Every generation has its improvements," I said, as another flare of lightning illuminated My Jane Austen's pale figure. Were they intimate when my mother was alive? Shaking my head dramatically for no apparent reason, I moved so Mrs. Rushworth could take my place. I concentrated to deliver my long line about heads of the family requiring housemaids and footmen to attend chapel while inventing excuses for themselves to lie in bed for ten more minutes, but the chandelier glittering overhead distracted me, and the Prussian blue paint on the walls had "failed" and for the life of me I couldn't imagine what had brought Karen to her horrible conclusion. The sight of brown Currier and Ives china, donated to the production by a helpful volunteer, would forever strike terror in my heart.
Ah! I knew where we would get enough china for the tea.
I glanced at Sabrina, whose smile reminded me of Karen's when Karen first suggested I might need professional help. I imagined Archie pulling me off-stage with a long hook. My father would never have an affair. Petrified I would miss my line, I caught my startled reflection in one of the gilded mirrors across the hall, envious of the dumb marble bust reflected beside me on its pedestal. "Ordained!" I said. "If I had known this before, I would have spoken of the cloth with more respect."
