The room we were standing in got cleared and I moved to the other room, looking for Gmac. But he had just disappeared on me. He later told me he had to work early the next morning, but I still found it weird that he didn’t even said goodbye. Maybe he was afraid of cock-blocking me.
I walked back from U Street to my hostel and went to sleep at four in the morning. My roomie asked me a million questions about girls that night. The only advice you really need is to be persistent to score with girls. Never give up!
Three hours later I woke up, took a shower and checked out. I had bought an online bus ticket for half-price and had to leave around 13:00. That gave me about four hours to see all the major sites in Washington. I started walking fast and went all the way to the White House, and from there to all the other monuments. Half of them were under construction, which was disappointing. I had seen the major sights but could only take pictures of the White House from a great distance, and there were way too many trees in the park to get a good clear shot. The Lincoln Memorial reflecting pools were under construction and completely empty. The National Mall was also being worked on, so I really have the feeling I should return here someday. I hurried back to the bus station, paid something like eleven dollars for a pack of smokes and got the bus back to New York.
My last days in the Big Apple I focused more on sightseeing than on girls. I still had so much to see and I was walking my feet into bloody stumps those last days. I visited the café from the Seinfeld series and had a coffee there. Seinfeld is my second favorite comedy, my favorite one is still Married with Children, the humor is unmatched and something like that won’t return with all those feminist groups nowadays.
I went to Columbia University and the riverside park close to it. Some scenes from one of my favorite cult movies, The Warriors, were shot there. I also visited a few other locations from that movie but couldn’t find the time to visit Coney Island too. I bought gifts at FAO Schwarz, one of the biggest toy stores in the world. They were for my nephew, whom I had not seen for nearly three years and barely knew because I left home when he was one year old. Of course the Empire State building was on my list and the views were astonishing.
I was nearly walking on my gums but still went out on my last night. I just kept walking on 2nd avenue until I found an open bar and could drink some beers. I talked to some girls but nothing happened that night. The Ethiopian, the Belarusian and the Jamaican girl had all flaked on me in those days. It was too bad because those flags are all quite rare, but quite frankly I couldn’t give a damn anymore. The only thing that mattered to me was going home now and to see my family and friends again.
It was time for my final destination:
Home!!
Epilogue: And then you get home
Well, that was that.
There’s not too much to tell about afterwards. I got back to the comforts of home in the First World, and it was great – to an extent. Of course it was great seeing my family and friends again. But in some ways it was weirdly boring, too. You get used to moving to a different city every few days, and meeting new people all the time.
I’m getting my life back together. It took a little longer than I expected, but that’s how the world goes. As you can imagine (having read it!), this book took up a lot of my time.
To the outside observer, it might look as though my three years abroad didn’t do much for me. My hair’s longer, but aside from that it’s not as though spending all my money on wandering the earth did much for me in terms of so-called “real life”. Some might say I’m as much of a bum back home as I was on the road, with less excuse. Some might say I’m right back where I started. Some would argue I’m worse off.
Every last one of them is wrong.
I became myself on my trip. I am not who I was. I stand tall. I don’t look at the ground, and I have no fear. There’s nothing Holland or the world can throw at me I haven’t faced up to and bested.
And obviously, my problematic relation with girls has somewhat changed since then.
What did I learn? A great deal. A lot about the world, and a lot about myself.
And also, of course, a lot about girls. Which is the wisdom I will now pass on to you.
Tips and tricks:
Seducing girls
At home and abroad
Style and fashion
You can convey your identity through your style. You want to give off the right vibe: that you are a fun, adventurous and interesting guy.
• Don’t be an embarrassment to be seen with. Remember that girls in a club spent a lot of time to look good before they went out, so if you want to approach them wearing your khaki zip-off pants which doubles as raining trousers and a Che Guevara t–shirt, don’t be surprised if they don’t give you the time of day.
• Pack a pair of black club shoes, preferably ones that are easy to clean and don’t take up too much space in your bag or suitcase. Do not underestimate the importance of having a good pair of shoes. Women always look at your shoes and judge you by them. Wear clean, shiny, dark shoes.
• Wear a hip button-down shirt and jeans and at least one interesting bracelet or necklace. Don’t wear a t-shirt underneath your shirt and don’t tuck it into your jeans. Be careful about wearing an expensive watch. I didn’t have a watch my whole trip.
• Work out and look fit. The more you look like an Olympic sprinter the more girls will be attracted to you. I know this sounds weird coming from a guy who smokes, drinks and loves fast food, but I’m the type of guy who gains a maximum of 8 pounds no matter how much unhealthy crap I eat and still look in reasonable shape. If you are fat, do something about it. Girls saying they are not attracted to a body like Brad Pitt in Fight Club are lying as much as guys saying they are not attracted to big tits and round asses. I’m hitting the gym hard now and I’m in great shape btw.
• Backpackers have a bad name for being “dirty”, so be and look clean and fresh. That means shaving and grooming. No disgusting “on the road” beards or smelly dreadlocks. It might work sometimes but in general girls are very turned off by this. It’s not that you necessarily can’t get girls like that, you just can’t be a player.
• You can’t make eye contact or have a flirty conversation with sunglasses on, so throw them away. Eyes are half the attraction in your face, don’t hide them.
• It’s important to always look your best, especially when staying in hostels. There are new girls in hostels or guesthouses every day. So if you walk out of the dorm in your striped pajamas just as some hot Norwegian girls walk in, you are definitely making the wrong impression.
• Having some chewing gum or tic-tacs doesn’t hurt your chances either. Especially if you’re a smoker.
• If you smoke, remember that it’s an advantage for picking up girls because it’s easier to make contact with another smoker. I wouldn’t start smoking just to pick up girls though. It’s still a bad habit.
But above all: having good game trumps having good looks. If you still don’t believe this, then look at pictures of Style and Mystery, who are not handsome men by any means and took the rock star look way over the top, but got laid a lot anyway. They looked more like a couple of glam rockers from the mid-seventies, but it didn’t matter.
On the other hand, don’t believe all those PUA marketers claiming they can turn even an obese, World of Warcraft-playing nerd who looks like he got shot in the face with a sawed-off shotgun into a Playboy model-slaying womanizer.
Game will only get you so far. You need a hell of a lot more than good game to score that kind of girl. In general, having reasonable looks and great style and game can land you girls that are two points higher than you on the 1 to 10 attractiveness scale.
If you are a 5 yourself, then a 7 will be the maximum you can reach. 6 = 8, etc, etc.
Alpha behavior
This is not something you can learn overnight but you can fake it overnight. Fake it till you make it and one day you will notice that you’re not even faking it any
more. You will have grown into this personality through all the new things you have experienced and the personal growth you have gone through.
Don’t try to turn your alpha-ness on when you’re going to a club or bar and turn it off for the rest of the day. It will not work and girls will see through it. And why would you? Don’t you want to be a confident man when you’re around your friends, colleagues, strangers or family? This goes so much further than only scoring girls. It will improve every facet of your life. So start being alpha as soon as you put away this book and remember to fake it till you make it. The moment of becoming a natural alpha will come very quick if you practice it sixteen waking hours a day.
Being alpha and having great inner game are undeniably connected to each other. There are no alphas whose inner game sucks. They are real and confident men. This is one of the things that attract girls the most, more than good looks and money. It’s also an integral part of having good pick-up skills.
Let’s start with being alpha. The simple fact that you have a dick does not make you a man if you don’t behave like one. 90% of guys nowadays display beta behavior, which is due to social conditioning. No one taught us to be men. Our parents were beaten senseless by the feminist revolution in the 70s and have nothing to teach us. Almost everything you see on television or read in magazines is aimed at making you a beta nice guy. Most girls live in a fairytale world of soap opera and old reruns of Sex in the City. The problem is that men are getting brainwashed to act in the same way as girls. But here’s the truth: that lovable loser in the movies who always gets the girl in the end would be alone in real life. Alone!! Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller are good examples of beta males in almost all of their movies. Watch their movies and see why, even if they are funny.
After childhood there are real winners and losers in life.
Which side are you on?
Characteristics of an Alpha male
• Always take up a lot of space. Beta-males always shrink up as if they were apologizing for their own personal waste of space. Put your feet at shoulder width and stand up straight. Keep your chin up. Look people in the eyes when speaking.
• Talk loudly, but not obnoxiously loud.
• Resist the fear that you will piss people off. Be willing to take the lead and end the conversation when you want to. Be willing to be distracted when someone is talking to you.
• Confidence: This is simply freedom from self-doubt, and having strong beliefs in your own actions, words and abilities.
• Don't EVER act apologetic. It’s OK to clarify something, but don’t feel the need to explain your actions all the time.
• Be calmer than everyone around you. Stress (talking about it or showing it) is an indicator of beta-male status. Be unaffected by what others are affected by. Heat, cold, stress, being tired, getting lost, etc etc.
• Time with you is valuable and rare. Don’t let other people waste your time when you could be doing things that benefit your own wellbeing.
• Don’t make nervous movements or touch your face when speaking. (Touching your face is an indication of lying, even if you’re are not)
• Be talkative: say whatever is on your mind and don't worry about the consequences. Just be a talkative person.
• Be honest and direct 95% of the time. This will earn you all kinds of respect points.
• A good player also knows how to tell a little lie every now and then. Don’t tell bullshit stories people can easily see through but it doesn’t hurt to lie a bit when dating multiple girls in a short time span. Remember that you are a free man and not too serious with dating.
• Don’t take crap from anyone, and stand up for yourself. This doesn’t mean you have to argue or fight with random guys or always have to have the last word.
• Don’t go into endless arguments. You are giving too much value to the other person by trying to prove you’re right. You’ll win the battle but lose the war.
• Touch people when you talk to them. This is quite normal in many countries outside our feministic western world.
• Don't walk too fast. This is another behavior that is used to break your own frame. Slow down and relax.
• An Alpha is calm, confident and in control around any girl.
• Don't always respond when someone calls your name. When you do respond, turn your head to them slowly.
• Be dominant and in control. If you don't like the conversation…walk away. Start talking to someone else in the middle of the conversation if you feel like it. You are the alpha and you are in charge. Regardless of income, rank etc…you are the leader.
• Don't EVER put yourself down. Alpha males do not do this unless it is an OBVIOUS joke! It's okay to make a joke to convey the opposite of what you are saying in the joke. For example when you say you are a virgin.
• If you treat people like they are much cooler than you are, you are a beta male.
• If you put up with disrespectful behavior, you are a beta male.
• Taking risks and willing to make a mistake trying to achieve something is Alpha.
• Never stop someone from performing acts of generosity towards you, or be too thankful when they do.
Being Alpha is not being a selfish asshole, so the question is:
What is NOT Alpha?
• Doing all the things listed above but with really bad body language.
• If everyone sees you are really trying to be Alpha then you’re not doing it right.
• Being rude towards people who are friendly to you. Lots of miscommunication is due to language differences.
• Bullying people is not Alpha.
• Starting fights is not Alpha.
• Proving how much you can drink and falling down or slurring your words as result is not Alpha.
• Throwing money around while others take advantage of you is not Alpha.
• Having a big dick makes you fortunate. It doesn’t make you an instant Alpha. Knowing how to attract and bang women does.
• Having lots of tattoos or looking like a criminal does not make you alpha. Most guys use tattoos to hide their insecurity. It’s OK to have them but don’t use them as a crutch to look tough. Hipsters are a good example of people doing this.
• Being arrogant is not Alpha.
• Cursing a lot to emphasize your words is not Alpha.
"I live for myself and I answer to nobody"
Steve McQueen
Inner game
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? If you are a natural introvert like me then you probably hate the idea of walking up to strangers, even if they are guys. You don’t like to ask directions because it makes you feel dumb. You don’t like calling strangers on the phone. You have a bad time getting into the “party” mode at places where you don’t know anyone. You feel self-conscious in large crowds. You don’t like to get public attention and you cringe at the mere thought of walking up to two girls in a club, tapping them on the shoulder and starting to talk to them. And oh my god, you don’t even speak the local language. I used to be that guy.
Inner game is the most important part of gaming. This is how you feel inside and you react to others, in particularly girls. If your inner game is weak, then you will have trouble approaching girls and staying strong during conversation and escalating.
The first thing you must accomplish to have strong inner game is to be totally unreactive. Whatever shit is happening during your travels, no matter how the girl reacts to you: it doesn’t hurt you. It’s like having a force field around you. Nothing can penetrate your protective force field. Every time a girl gives you a funny look, every time a girl puts you down or turns her back on you, even if she laughs in your face, you must stay unreactive, like the insults bounce right off you. This is very, very hard to learn and it will not take a few days or a few weeks. It will take relentless struggling and persistent going out to bars on your own. Yes, you read it right, on your own!!
There are two unconventional ways
of getting rid of the thoughts that are holding you back from the goodies.
1 Turning to the Dark Side
Be very arrogant and think (don’t say it) like this every time a girl rejects you: Who the fuck are you to judge me? What do you have to offer besides a pretty face and a surprisingly average fuck most of the time? Most of the girls that rejected you have never left their own country or even own a passport. I’m Neil Skywalker, who already fucked more girls of different nationalities than most guys in the whole world. And this girl tries to disrespect me? Fuck you, Bitch.
You’ll want to be careful about turning to the Dark Side. Using this mindset too often will eventually turn you into a woman-hater. Don’t do that. It’s whiny.
2 The right way
When a girl gives you a funny reaction and walk away, just give them a playful smirk and shrug your shoulders. After a while I noticed that when I stayed a bit longer in the conversation girls would open up to me more. I started playing dumb.
The girls will shit-test you hard to see what kind of a man you are. They might give you a bitchy comment or straight up say that they have a boyfriend. I used to just say, “Oh, OK, bye then”, but later on I just stood my ground and kept talking. The more I talked the more they opened up and found out that I’m not like the rest of the guys around. Girls will test you for anything: how much money you are willing to spend on them? Are you a needy guy? Do you stand up to her? What do you have to offer her in terms of fun and excitement? Of course you don’t have to take this playing dumb to an extreme. If it’s very clear that the girl can’t stand you then you have to eject out of this situation, because it will make you look bad to other girls in your proximity.
Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova Page 49
